June sees an abusive boy; goes Pit on his ass. Story at 11:00.

Edsel and I had kind of an upsetting night last night, and I just inexplicably typed his name "Edseul." He's now phoreign. That's "foreign" with an underbite. We were on our regularly scheduled walk, and does your dog lose his shit every single day over the walk portion of the evening, even though it's the … Continue reading June sees an abusive boy; goes Pit on his ass. Story at 11:00.

The Saturday that feels like Sunday

If you're a parent, lemme just ask you something hypothetically. Let's say you're, oh, to throw a scenario out there, at Target with your kid on a busy Saturday afternoon. Let's say your kid is crying loudly in the cart, and keeps screeching, "WANT TOYS! WANT TOYS! WANT TOYS! WANT TOYS WANT TOYS WANT TOYS!!!!" … Continue reading The Saturday that feels like Sunday

You’ll never guess what Ima write about

Well. It's over. If you're my Facebook friend you'd have no way of NOT knowing this, as I think I updated my status 3949943 times yesterday. And it's way awfuller than I thought it would be. I mean being my Facebook friend. And losing Tallulah. Where did I put her last? Tuesday evening, Ned called … Continue reading You’ll never guess what Ima write about

My sweet Tallulah, who was often not remotely sweet.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, is Tallulah's last day. Her nights are always restless now, and there are other details about her health that I will spare you. Today she's gonna go to dog daycare, a thing I can ill afford at present, because it turns out getting your house power-washed and your mortgage paid during the same … Continue reading My sweet Tallulah, who was often not remotely sweet.

I didn’t even get to tell you that my aunt sent me a box of pants

I saw the Snowflake children. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, and really? You poor thing. Has your family told you you can't mention me anymore? Anyway, if you are, you'll remember three very loud, very blonde children in my neighborhood who were forever playing outside like it's 1969, whom the dogs and … Continue reading I didn’t even get to tell you that my aunt sent me a box of pants

June accidentally records her life. As opposed to this tome.

I was just uploading photos from my phone onto my computer mom boreeng and I saw among the photos a video on there that was half an hour long. "?" I asked myself. seer y uslee, we so ober this story I clicked play. It was a blank screen the whole time. You could hear … Continue reading June accidentally records her life. As opposed to this tome.

June shows you all her chores, big and small. June is a riveting individual.

I got up this morning, swept 950 pounds of pet hair, then started noticing all the things I wanna do around here. I photographed them for your viewing pleasure. Or, alternatively, your viewing boredom. I see that the camera chose to focus on Edsel rather than my Eiffel Tower tattoo, and it's probably just USED … Continue reading June shows you all her chores, big and small. June is a riveting individual.

I don’t know if you know that much about life if you think “lifeclass” is one word

Yesterday morning I had to dig in my bathroom trash for the old empty deodorant I'd thrown away, and desperately scrape what was left on myself because guess who forgot to buy more. There goes my mother in my head: "Make a list, honey." I was also clean out of coffee, which is always incentive … Continue reading I don’t know if you know that much about life if you think “lifeclass” is one word

Her self-regard was a tad misguided

Enclosed please find a video of Tallulah, the most stubborn cute dog in the world. Minutes before, she'd been moaning at me to go out, and when I lugged my day-at-work, half-hour-of-Tracy-Chapman, 10,000-steps-on-top-of-that self off the couch, she didn't want to GO out. And yet here she is, asking to go out again minutes later. … Continue reading Her self-regard was a tad misguided