Eyebrows Light and Dark · June can't keep a man · June's stupid life · My pets

In which June would kill Agatha all over again

But I already TOLD you about my weekend, because a picture paints a thousand words. Then why can't I paint you?   (This might be the best of all the horrific videos I've ever given you.) So okay, so I'll give you a synopsis, because you know how brief I am, in case you didn't… Continue reading In which June would kill Agatha all over again

June's stupid life · My pets

Pop-Up

Two things happened yesterday. Well, three. All dog-related. Go ahead and kill yourself now. First of all, Lottisimo's ears popped up at some point between yesterday morning and yesterday at lunch. I went to work and she was a normal dog. Well, "normal." And I came home and it was like she'd had a wash… Continue reading Pop-Up

I am a pleasure of life · I am berserk · I am high-maintenance · I hate everything · June's stupid life

Everyone has everyone else’s circular

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was way busy crying. Oh my god, with the weepage. it cud not be lotteee falt, cud it? Also, deer ant Poet: thank for for bone. lottee obsess. As you know, from your Big Book of June Events, I have a Fitbit, which tells me how much I… Continue reading Everyone has everyone else’s circular

Chicken · June's stupid life · My pets

Edsel Joe McAllister

Lottie is such an asshole. I feel like, if we could see her agenda, her datebook, it'd just be filled with appointments to annoy us. Lottie Day Plannur nyne fifteeeen: try to hump eyeriss. five ay yam: wyne and skreech in crate. bownce against crate barrs. yap. edsul would not be charged by jury off… Continue reading Edsel Joe McAllister

June's stupid life · Money · My pets

It turn out, puppies do be annoying

I gotta go in early today, but last night this happened: Also, I think SiriusXM is sort of scammy. I called to cancel day before yesterday, and they said yes, okay, you're canceled as of the 17th. But then on the 17th, not only did I have Sirius Radio, I got CHARGED for the month.… Continue reading It turn out, puppies do be annoying

Film · June's stupid life · My pets

STELLAAAA! Oh, calm down.

Now that I'm out and so on, I can also tell you that I've been bringing Lottie places, so she won't be a nutbar like my last two dogs. When I got Tallulah, I started taking her everywhere, and she seemed scared, so I stopped. I didn't realize I had to just keep exposing her… Continue reading STELLAAAA! Oh, calm down.

I am berserk · June's stupid life · My pets

When water murks itself

A week ago, I was walking to my gym, not that I own a gym, which you'd think I'd have brought up before now. I walked past Peg's, past the snake-infested field, and I was just getting onto the first corporate parking lot, when I saw a groundhog. I love me a groundhog. Perhaps all… Continue reading When water murks itself

Beauty products · Fuck natural · In the kitchen with June · June's stupid life

Windows 9.0

Some mornings, I feed the cats while Iris is still out for her morning constitutional. My theory is she makes her rounds of all the baby nests in the area, patrols for new life and squelches it. Anyway, that was the case today, and when she finally hopped up into The Window That All Cats… Continue reading Windows 9.0

June's stupid life · Money

No Need-y, No Buy-y

Do you remember a few days ago, when I said I wanted to get my affairs in order? Not because I'm going to croak, although I do feel a cold coming on. I said I wanted to get better about my finances, because I kind of live payday to payday, and do you know what… Continue reading No Need-y, No Buy-y

Busy busy busy busy. Thank heavens for Angie's List. · June's stupid life

A parade of Junes. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Is it payday? It just occurred to me that maybe it is. That would be a beautiful thing. I think last time I checked I had 72 dollars. Speaking of which, Friend in Real Life and I Think Faithful Reader Kaye is coming over this weekend to help me make a budget! I know! "You'll… Continue reading A parade of Junes. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

I hate everything · June's stupid life · Other people's pets

Have You Bean Assessed?

Today is a very assess-y day. We have our health assessments at work, and as I type you, I have to fast, which is fine because usually at this time I haven't eaten yet, but I have to GO WITHOUT COFFEE till I get my bloodwork done, and this just isn't natural. You know, I… Continue reading Have You Bean Assessed?

Family · Friends · June's stupid life · My pets

Mathletic showdown: June and her mom chisanbop

It's official: I'm an old lady. And not just cause I have to go down my steps sideways like a crab. I just got home for lunch and I saw my roses bloomed and you'd think Morris Chestnut was in my backyard holding bacon scallion cream cheese while stacking four everything bagels on his member,… Continue reading Mathletic showdown: June and her mom chisanbop

Busy busy busy busy. Thank heavens for Angie's List. · June's stupid life

June Drew

For some reason, mostly "organized," I have two little squares on my desktop, and hey, computer-savvy. One reads "iPhoto" and one reads "Pictures," which is not at all confusing. Actually, it usually isn't. I know that if I plug in my phone, new pictures will upload to "Pictures," and I pretty much ignore "iPhotos," and… Continue reading June Drew

Film · Food and Drink · I am high-maintenance · June's stupid life

Suns are usually hilarious

This morning, as opposed to this anything else seeing as it's 8 a.m., I went to my computer room, fmr., and who needs to get over the "fmr." thing, do you think? Anyway, I went in there to clean the cat boxes, as I am wont to do. There was litter just strewn everywhere, like… Continue reading Suns are usually hilarious

Friends · Fuck natural · June's stupid life · Money

Xeralpholopia

I'm home for lunch. I didn't blop at you this morning because I was up till freaking one in the morning. A, I wasn't tired and 2, I was doing statistics proofreading. So my point is I didn't bound out of bed this morning like a fireman, as I usually do. Go, mornings! You want… Continue reading Xeralpholopia

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life · Other people's pets

Ben Laden

Yesterday was my five-year anniversary at work. It was just exactly the same as five years ago in that it was May 2nd and it was a Monday. Also, Osama bin Laden is still dead. He'd been killed the night before my first day. One of you told me in the comments and I barely… Continue reading Ben Laden

June doesn't know any ugly people · June's stupid life · My pets · Other people's pets

No more puppies, ever

Before I tell you about Edsel attacking the puppy, you gotta promise me you won't hate Edsel. I did. For, like, an hour. I don't know if I've ever been so angry at a dog. But she's fine, and I really thought about it from his perspective, and now I love that damn dog more… Continue reading No more puppies, ever