There's a woman at work, one of the Alexes who's actually named Alex and not some hapless coworker I've roped into the name because I'm hilarious. This Alex is making a gift basket for someone she knows who's had some rotten stuff to face in this life, even rotten-er luck than having Lottie for a … Continue reading Women friends. There’s a topic.
If you have your Big Book of June Events out, you'll know that Ned my ex (NedEx) and I turned 50 right around a year ago. (Didn't we come up with NedEx thinking we were brilliant, and then we never used it again? Do you like how when I screw up, I rope all the … Continue reading A Bum Deal
"Oooo! I know!" I said to my friend. "Let's drive out to the country to that ice cream place, where you can pet cows and eat ice cream they made right there on the spot!" For me, there's a whole afternoon. There's a black-and-white cat who lives there, and I think it's so cute they … Continue reading June’s milkshake brings all the calves to the yard
I went out last night. Slept in m'pearls. I also took Lottie with me, because I'm living like a HERMIT not going places because I feel bad about putting her in a crate too much. And unlike my mother, who has a dog-sitter come all the time when she goes out, I can't do that … Continue reading The kind side of June. HAHAHAHAHA.
Coming out of the shower this morning, I realized that right now, my house smells like a perfect combination of freshly brewed coffee and puppy. What more can you ask for? Somehow that made me think of: drivin' home this evenin', coulda sworn we had it all worked out. Mostly what that woman did … Continue reading [Intentionally left blank]
Last night, I got my formidable roots done, and also, we've hired a very cute woman at work who's adorable, with purple roots and then long-ish lavender hair. Everyone at work wants to be her all of a sudden. "Remember I've been saying I wanted to get a color like that?" the Alex who sits … Continue reading June’s Rose Gold
Oh, I was sleeping so NICELY this morning. Lottie did her usual waking at 6:00 thing, which we have down to a science. She whines once, I get up, still asleep, walk her outside, she pees, and without saying a single word to each other we go right back into the bedroom and fall asleep. … Continue reading Luncheon with June
I got a lot accomplished this weekend, and by "accomplished," I mean I watched 10 hours of the new season of Orange is the New Black. I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I didn't get all 13 episodes in, but you know, you do what you can to accomplish your goals and if you … Continue reading A loafing June, a jug of La Croix, and thou
We somehow got into this discussion at work, and it was a good one. Were you the kid who tore out the door at dawn and didn't come back till the streetlights came on? (Ned.) Were you the kid who took everything apart to see how it worked? (Marvin.) I was weird. I should have … Continue reading What kind of kid were you?
Who is the DELIGHTFUL individual who sent me these? They're Jo Malone fragrances, and they come in really excellent scents. Last night I sprayed on Nectarine Blossom and Honey, then later because I'm obsessed I sprayed on Blackberry and Bay. I used to live on Bay and Cooper. It didn't smell nearly as good. Now … Continue reading June saves all of her coworkers from a burning building. You’re welcome, coworkers.
Yesterday on Facebook, I asked everyone how many of their Facebook friends had been...friends, IfYouKnowWhatI'mSayin'. How many have you KNOWN. In THAT way. Hashtag nudge. Every once in awhile, I'm reminded of something Ned said to me when we were first dating, and out drinking on a Tuesday night. "This is as mature as we … Continue reading See the tiniest detail
There are three things I wanted to tell you about: the turtle, my conversation and the intuitive. Which do you want to hear first? ...Okay. Remember last week, when a bunch of you donated to my coworker Alex so she could adopt that dog and set him up in the life to which he is … Continue reading June speaks
This is why you can't let puppies out your sight for even one minute. This is why my days are spent never deep sitting anymore, but rather bounding up constantly whenever that dog toddles out of the room. And have I lost weight? No. Also, experts advise that when your puppy is in duress, it's … Continue reading The weekend. As told by Joon Gardens.
Lottie had the trow-ups last night, but she's okay today. Did any of you ever read that blog, Blue Skies and Yellow Dogs? She doesn't blog anymore, but she had this hilarious housekeeper who'd leave her long notes, often about the fact that Colleen hadn't scored a man yet. But what sticks in my mind … Continue reading Blew chunks and yellow dogs
I haven't been here in ages and now I have 296 things to tell you. On Tuesday, TypePad was down and I could not post and I was SO MAD, because I wanted to tell you something SO COOL and I couldn't. The Alex who sits next to me is a grownup. Compared to me. … Continue reading The one where June has the BEST READERS, even if they do give advice
I never did tell you why I got mad at the vet's office, and stormed out, and it's official. Get the papers in order. I have become my grandmother. Since 2008--way back in aught eight, when I moved here, I've been going to that vet. I forget how I found them, but they've seen me … Continue reading Stampeding toward Evelyn
I've realized that I left my iron and ironing board at Ned's. I am thinking about it, and I think getting new versions of both would be less awful than having to contact Ned and get them back. So. Yay. Glad I ironed that out. See what I did, there? Hope Kaye isn't steamed when … Continue reading The one where Joon does nothing
This is why I should not be left to my own devices. Also, Lottie. Cockblocks m'talent. "Talent."
Were you worried I'd forget it was Ode to Billie Joe day? The official holiday of Bye Bye, Pie ever since we all became obsessed with that song? Did you listen to all the things they eat for lunch? Hello, carbs. Hi hi, another piece of pie. I have to kind of hurry today, … Continue reading It was the 3rd of June another sleepy dusty Delta day