June gets on her soapbox

Lemme tell you how Ned has ruined me. In case you wondered, "Gee. How has Ned ruined June?"

Today I was in the shower, and please try not to get too distracted by the hotness.

Dickinson-dressed-to-kill-shower

Do you know she was 48 when she did this scene? That's Angie Dickenson, for anyone reading this who's 19.

Anyway. I was in the shower today, and my soap is at that point where it's a mere sliver of itself. I always feel bad when I'm at that point, because I hate to waste any of it, but when it keeps SLIPPING OUT OF MY HAND, I get annoyed. I generally have a three-slip rule, and then I throw it away. But today, even though my soap is the size of a quarter, it hung on. I kept the sliver, but once I was out of the shower, I got a new box of it out and squooshed the new soap onto the old and put them in the shower thingie®, that metal thing that hangs over your shower head. Angie, what is it? You're in the shower, up there.

Is Angie Dickinson dead?

HOW NED HAS RUINED ME is that the box? I have to recycle the damn box now, the box the soap came in. Back during my year abroad, the shower was upstairs and the recycling was downstairs, and Ned would keep his empty box of unscented soap for sensitive skin on the windowsill for weeks, on its way to the recycle bin downstairs. I was often tempted to throw it out, but I never did cause I didn't wanna hear about it.

It just seemed so over the top, taking that small box all the way downstairs. It'd be like throwing an anniversary bash for your hamster. I don't know.

And now? I recycle the goddamn soap box. I mean, I'm all on one floor, so. If it were a monumental struggle like taking it all the way downstairs, I'm not sure I'd be so earth-friendly.

I guess that's all I have to tell you. I got paid last night, THANK GOD, and at lunch Ima go get my browns waxed, because Wilford Brimley. Ima see family I ain't seen in five years, and I don't want them to be all, Poor single June. With her pets and her Wilford Brimley eyebrowns.

"Well, we had a nice time at the party, except for June and her eyebrowns."

Who needs to get over saying "eyebrowns," do you think?

Okay, talk at you. I'll be flying tomorrow so maybe Sunday if there's time.

Travelocity-ly,

Joon

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

53 thoughts on “June gets on her soapbox”

  1. Wow. I never thought of the soap box. Now Ima feel guilty every time I just throw it in the bathroom trash can.
    I wonder how you affected Ned… that would be interesting to hear.
    P.S. Have a fun and safe trip.

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  2. We have a recycle trash bin in our bathrooms (smallish red bin for trash, smallish green bin for recycle). It makes trash night so much easier.
    Have a fantastic weekend with your family!

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  3. I can’t even with the recycling. Back when they made us wash all the cans and bottles I was like “but what about all the WATER!?!” and I was wrecked. For good.
    Have a great trip!

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  4. Aren’t we still supposed to rinse everything? And I agree. If it’s too much water wasted, to the landfill!
    I read “I got laid last night.” OH, PAID.
    I thought I was the only one who still uses bar soap.I use that bar into oblivion.
    Lovely post!

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  5. Have fun. we all know you will and will have caboodles of great stories when you return.
    My brother’s daughter used to call my husband’s sideburns (and why do they call them that anyway) sidebrows.

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  6. Did you type this out on your phone? If so, then I understand browns and eyebrowns. If not, I’m lost.

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  7. I ruined myself with the recycling and also recycle the empty box of unscented soap for sensitive skin. It about killed me when the recycling companies said they would no longer take glass bottles so into the trash they go. I still feel guilty about that.

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  8. I love Angie Dickinson, she is gorgeous. I read up on her one night and she sacrificed a great career to take care of her kid who had autism, I think it was autsim, and this was in the 70/80s. Married to that puke Burt Bacharach who just couldn’t deal with a kid with issues so he left her. Boo hoo. I feel so bad for Burt Bacharach that I want to take his cheesy albums and smack him on the head with them, with the sharp side.
    Remember that poster of Angie’s that came out about the same time as Farrah’s? This is the best I can do with a link:
    http://www.emovieposter.com/agallery/archiveitem/16285578.html

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  9. I could have swore Barbi Benton was on one of those posters but guess not. That’s a sizzlin’ hot 70s Susan Sarandon in the lower left corner though.

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  10. I always have to retrieve the soap box out of the wastebasket in the bathroom for recycling, thanks to my son and grandson. I also recycle the cardboard TP rolls. I do not use bar soap for my showers; I use Age Defying Olay in a pump bottle. Two squirts for my entire body. Try it. (Not advice).
    Have a wonderful time.

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  11. Yes! I have been known bring tissue boxes and the cardboard backing from the paper pads home to recycle. And my yogurt containers. Oh! And maybe a pizza carton. Maybe I have ruined myself.
    Have a safe and lovely trip, June!

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  12. Our recycle can is aways crammed full versus the trash can by a 4:1 ratio. (Is the word ratio redundant?) It’s become an obsession.

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  13. Our bar soap comes from Beekman 1802 on Evine now. Pretty, beautifully scented wrappers that I put in my dresser drawers. It’s pricey but so worth it. They have a website too but the prices on Evine are so much better. Giant triple milled goatmilk soap that lasts forever, lathers insanley with a natural sponge, no soap scum in the shower. I love the vanilla absolue and the heirloom violet scents. I bought a sampler box and I have honey grapefruit and rose, orange blossom etc. waiting in the wings. I do buy Dove sensative for my hooha. Don’t recycle the boxes, guess I should. Recycling tp rolls feels nasty. Poop germ contamination. I rinse bottles and cans because ants in the recycling can, yuck.

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  14. You are not poor single June. You are so enchanting that your ex still buys you plane tickets and vases and spends time with you.

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  15. We can still recycle glass where we live. I wonder if it’s because so many things that used to be in glass are now in annoying plastic and there’s not as much of a market for the glass. Glass is the most easily recyclable of all the materials — you can keep melting it down and using it over and over. I’ll go sit in the nerd corner now.

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  16. Eyebrowns. ..side brows, thanks for adding new words to my vocabulary! I am with Helen, dying to know how you impacted Ned. Our trash company has us recycle everything, including food scraps, which they are using to generate electricity. Hard water means we use liquid soap to prevent scum.

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  17. I am really surprised that so many People still use bar soap. I always have used Body wash. Is there a reason that I don’t know? Is bar soap better or cheaper?

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  18. They collect our recycling at curbside and said that all the glass fragments get mixed in with the highly recyclable paper products. Also, apparently, there are fewer end-buyers of the recycled glass they collect.
    That’s their story and they’re sticking to it.

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  19. DeDe, that’s a great idea. I throw everything in the regular trash, but then feel guilty about it. (Not guilty enough to actually take the soap box to the recycle bin, however.)
    Eyebrowns!

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  20. I use body wash with one of those thin, stretchy, body scrubbing cloths. I don’t like the poofy things. But he likes bar soap so I buy both and have to pick the damn box out of the trash because he forgets. Or is lazy. Probably lazy.
    Enjoys your trip!

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  21. I use the liquid stuff with one of the scrubby glove things to exfoliate my skin. It makes the liquid soap bubble up and I can scrub my skin so I am superclean! The lady that does my waxing recommended that to prevent ingrown hairs. TMI, I know!
    I agree, only using the liquid stuff without the glove or a washcloth does wash off too quickly.

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  22. I use bar soap first, then use the scrubbing mitts with the liquid soap. Each soap has an assigned area of the body.
    We recycle everything here, including tissues. And we can mix the glass with the cans with the paper. I can’t imagine working at the recycling center and having to separate all the stuff. I often wonder if they actually recycle the stuff or just pretend to, and take it all to the dump.
    And to answer June’s question: Angie was born on September 30, 1931 and is alive at 85.

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  23. When my mom lived in her house, the city had a recycle can for her to use. She only had three frozen dinner cartons a week, so we started using her recycle services. It cut our own garbage down to about one fourth of what it was before recycling. My husband said just the other day he missed recycling. We have a recycle location, but you have to run all over yonder putting the paper, cardboard, clear glass, green glass, brown glass, milk jugs, aluminum in separate bins. I don’t know why they don’t use prisoners (free labor, sort of) to separate the stuff that can be recycled.
    We use unscented bar soap. I can’t stand the scent of the liquid soap.

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  24. We recycle and the same truck comes from the same company, just on a different day and picks up a different color can. I swear they take the “recycles” to wherever they take the garbage.

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  25. We recycle and the same truck comes from the same company, just on a different day and picks up a different color can. I swear they take the “recycles” to wherever they take the garbage.

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  26. We recycle and the same truck comes from the same company, just on a different day and picks up a different color can. I swear they take the “recycles” to wherever they take the garbage.

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  27. Olay foams and foams and stays put until you rinse it off. Smells good, too. Not that I’d advise you to try it or anything.

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  28. In the small apartment complex where my daughter lives, everything goes into a big dumpster. They don’t have recycling services. Am horrified.

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  29. I don’t get it on it but I just feel like it’s being touched by hands that just wiped asses. It just makes me think of stink ass.

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  30. I use body wash too. Sometimes that or soap or both. I like my puffs and a mit I have plus my natural sponge. The shower is an affordable pleasure

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  31. The soap boxes, wrappers, toilet paper cores, even used kleenex (damn near everything in your bathroom trash can) goes in the compost here. Paper towels, cupcake papers, even corn dog sticks, corn cobs, little bits of cotton fabrics from quilting, little bits of wool and cotton yarns from knitting and crocheting, all go in the compost bin.
    After that I put things in the recycle bin and anything left goes in the trash. I try really hard to NOT go through the trash and re-distribute things after the other family members have done it wrong.

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  32. I am here LisaPie!
    I use bar soap, and am guilty of throwing away the little box, but I do have guilt. I also throw the toilet paper rolls, but only from the upstairs bathroom. The main level bathroom is closer to the recycle bin. Now I feel even more guilt. I probably will have to change my terrible ways to be a better Earth Saver.
    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  33. Ned and I are kindreds, at least in this way. My family hates me, but now they can’t stop recycling either. Actually, I’ve dubbed myself repsycho. Don’t mess with me on this!

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  34. I thought you were talking to me when you first asked the question. So I took a few minutes to think about it. Mostly because I was wondering how you knew I bought a new one of those thingies. Few weeks ago and it’s still sitting in the box in my bathroom. So I figured I could wait until I finished the post and then go look at the box before I answered in my comment. Then I read the next sentence. (Is this an appropriate place to use “right then I knew”?)

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  35. I am a rabid recycler as is my dad. My sister and I were at my parents’ home this week trying to make a dent in the massive clean out required since my mom went to the nursing home. I am sure my sister is way over our recycling! My dad is lucky, he has curbside pick up as well as a pretty convenient drop off location. I have to drive to another county and try to beat the clock because they close at 4 and aren’t open weekends. My husband would prefer that we not recycle, too messy. We have a 3 story home with recycling areas on first two levels.
    It would never occur to me to recycle used tissues. I think I might have to draw the line at that one.
    Interested to hear that natural, homemade soap does not cause scum. I will have to check into that!

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