Yesterday I got my 10,000 steps in, did 35 minutes of Tracy Chapman, and then sat down to watch Real Housewives with a bag of Fritos. And this is why I hate myself.

Oh, also I walked Edsel yesterday, and the people on the corner have an 8-week-old BABY GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPPY. As opposed to an adult puppy.

They did the thing. They were all out in the yard, letting it run free, so I made Edsel stop. "He's okay," they said, meaning their bitty puppy. Sigh.

"He's NOT," I said, meaning my dog-eat-dog-world of a dog. Jesus Christ. Ima start a national campaign. STOP LETTING YOUR DOGS BE LOOSE. NO MATTER WHAT.

My dog is following the rules. He's on a leash. If your free-to-be-you-and-me dog runs up to us, your dog is done for. AND THAT WON'T BE MY FAULT.

If Edsel had eaten that bitty German shepherd puppy snickerdoodle I'd have died of sad.

In other news, this is my last day of work this week. Tomorrow I go on my vacation to the beach. It's supposed to be in the 70s and sunny all week, so yay. I really didn't take vacation this year, except to kill my dog and take Ned to his colonoscopy. So.

Oh, and I meant to ask you. What should I do for my 10-year anniversary of blogging? It's December 15, and I thought I should do something more than what I did for the two-year cotton anniversary in 2008.

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Nice. Also, while I was Google Imaging "ByeByePie" + "Cotton," I found this…

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Did I once give away cupcake floss? Because mmmmmm!

Also, "give away." Did I once promise and never send someone cupcake floss?

Anyway, my 10-year anniversary. Should I have you all over? Should we all go to Hawaii together or something? Do tell me your ideas. A lot has happened in these damn 10 years.

Also too also, I am sick of my hair. I been doing the same damn thing to it for ages.

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My hurr, in 2014

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My hurr with DW's mom, in 2011

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My hurr, 2013. How bad do you want me to stop saying "hurr"?

My friend Jo called last night, ironically, to ask me what she should do with her hair, and one place to go for all your hair advice is my house. June's House O' Hurr. Anyway what she told me is "not a damn thing. Don't change your hair."

Basically Jo doesn't want me to go changin', to try and please her. I've never let her down before.

Oooooo.

What say you? I mean, if I cut it short I'll look like George Washington. If I blow it straight I'll look basic. I can't win.

I gotta go. This whole time I've been trying to write you, a teensy annoying gray paw has been striking me from behind the computer. Is there a 24-hour drive-through put-your-kitten-to-sleep place near here?

I probably won't blog from the beach because I used to be able to email this blog and post that way, but now Typepad claims you can do that but it never actually posts what you emailed. So. I also can no longer reply to comments unless I get on here and comment directly, a thing that always looks good at my desk in the open floor plan.

Talk to you later, when I'll be sure to say hilarious things including "Life's a Beach." Maybe I'll even get one of those "Life's Good" stickers that don't make me want to kill everyone around me or anything. Here's what happens every time I see one of those stickers:

Sticker: Life's Good! : )

June: Fuck you. You fuck sticker.

XO,

Jooooon

56 thoughts on “House O’ Hurr

  1. Lisa. Not THAT Lisa says:

    This is like when your best friend in the neighborhood went on vacation and you just kept riding your bike past her house hoping to see that she was home!

    Like

  2. Beth of the German Shepherds says:

    Comparing sleeping to a wind storm…..love it. Easy care hair. I am gonna have to try out that shampoo too , sounds great.

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  3. Beth of the German Shepherds says:

    So, all in all, you are living in ‘June world”.
    You wouldn’t dance with me in a wheelchair, I bet we could! So good to hear from you.

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  4. DW's Mom - still older than dirt says:

    Well Beth, “Old Folks Homes” have a lot of what you listed. Here, you can have pets, although I know of only one woman who does. She has two cats and they never leave her room. She told me they get onto her window sill and try to catch the birds and chip monks that play outside. There are two hair salons, wine can be served with meals if your doctor permits, disco ball dancing wouldn’t be appreciated, most of us are in wheel chairs, We do have 2 “living rooms” & a lobby with tables & chairs for games, 50 inch TVs, and deeply uphosteed chairs for comfy reading. Your room is your “alone” room, but the closets are NOT enormous. It is not a bad life.

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  5. DW's Mom - still older than dirt says:

    No, I found a hair dresser HERE in the “old folks home” who cuts my hair to fit IT’S temperament and I keep it short, I wash it in the shower with Johnson’s Lavendar Baby Shampoo. I shake & flip the water out, rub the drips out with a towel and comb it straight back. Once it is almost dry, I comb it to a more flattering look and let it go. It is shiny white, always fals back into shape when I wake up from sleep and when I’m in a wind storm.

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  6. Sadie says:

    June, hope you are having a lovely time at the beach.

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  7. Sadie says:

    We could donate anytime on Dec 15th or even a few days before if anyone thinks they would forget on the 15th.
    I don’t know that an organizer is needed. Just a reminder in December.

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  8. MissPam says:

    The 10.00 idea is brilliant! We need an organizer. Sadie or Amish? I would volunteer ,but I’m hopeless and will add 20.00 not to. If we’re going to do it we need to have a specific time zone.
    I like your hair now. You think Washington is bad. My hair looks like Einstein on the regular.

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  9. Jeanie says:

    They have their hairs cut very short, dyed blue, and always, always have a tight perm. No?

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  10. PJ says:

    This makes me think…what do old ladies with hurr do? I’ve spent a lot of years/decades visiting in The Home and I don’t recall any June hair.

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  11. PJ says:

    Hanging in there, too, DW’s Mom. This, too, will pass reminds me that I’ve come to think of life as sitting on the conveyer belt enjoying (or cursing) the scenery as it goes by. That’s sort of what life is. New granddaughter now sits on far end, the beginning, of the conveyer belt as we ride along closer to the end. No, not a downer, at least for me, but a rather fun image. Enjoy the ride! And I’m so sorry about Lu.

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  12. Sadie says:

    How wonderful to hear from you.

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  13. Sadie says:

    This breaks my heart for you and your family.

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  14. Beth of the German Shepherds says:

    Hey DW’s mom…..you are a hoot! Keep on keepin’ on. We all need to think ahead about a home for June peeps…..think of it the doggies and kitties petting room . A hair salon, make up room,wine bar, disco ball dance floor (Barry Gibb), reading/writing room,an alone room, giant closet for all the clothes/shoes.

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  15. Beth of the German Shepherds says:

    I agree with Deb on your hair.Best I have seen it…well, in pictures anyway,since I haven’t personally seen it.
    Surely there is an app that let’s you “try” new hairstyles/colors on a picture of you.

    Like

  16. Thank you for your kind words.
    This happened over a year ago, and we still struggle with it – the images and sounds of my girl screaming and fighting for her life just never leave.
    Added bonus? It happened in front of my elderly parents, who shared custody of the dog with me…my mother’s screams and anguish haunt.
    Just no happy ending.
    But thank you—I appreciate your kindness.

    Like

  17. Alizabeth says:

    I’m pretty positive you hate the a-line cut but I think you would look so amazing with it!

    Like

  18. Alizabeth says:

    What monster brings their dog over after saying no? My heart breaks for you!

    Like

  19. dancer says:

    well. i would def fly into your hood to celebrate the 10th. but i really think you break out in hives just thinking of us ALL showing up there. i mean, where would you put us all? where would we party?
    is there a pie peep that has the gift of pulling off something the size of a high school reunion? also, a schedule of 5 mins talking to june. cuz, yeah, that many people.
    you would get gifts! could you even imagine? it would like be having the best birthday gift EVER!
    besides that, my first thought was — get a nose job. NOT that i think you need one — just that i know you’ve always wanted one.
    unfortunately i think you are stuck with the same basic style – ranging from shorter to longer. it really does look good, tho.

    Like

  20. Deb who is back to being Deb says:

    Your hair now is the best I have ever seen it looking.

    Like

  21. terric says:

    My sweet lab is always on a leash and we get attacked quite often by unleashed dogs, hate their owners!

    Like

  22. DW's Mom - still older than dirt says:

    Hi PJ, I’m hanging in here. Moved to the “Old Folks Home” in January and was doing pretty good until Lu got sick. That kinda wrecked my sanity. Now, I just sit in my lift chair, sucking my thumb and sighing Lu, Lu, oh no, not Tallulah. This too will pass.
    How are YOU ??

    Like

  23. Someone suggested trying on wigs at a wig shop for seeing how other cuts and colors will look on your face. I haven’t had the nerve to go in the wig store due to being freaked out about trying on wigs that might have been on other people’s lice-infested heads. But it’s a good idea. In theory. Anyway.

    Like

  24. Amish Annie says:

    I love your hurr! And I love Queen Marcy’s $10 idea. I love sandra’s idea of regional Pie meetups too. There could be these meetups all over the country on the same day at the same time, like New Year’s Eve only it’s June Eve. June’s Rockin’ Eve. That might be kind of hard the middle of December though, beings that it’s smacked between two major holidays, high airfares and possible terrible road travel weather. None of that prevents $10 donation gifts though!
    Your hair’s so pretty, Joob!

    Like

  25. b says:

    I don’t know what to say except that, from the very bottom of my heart, I am so, so, so sorry that happened. It’s shattering just to read about and imagine… being there must have been an utter nightmare. How unspeakably awful in every way. I am just so sorry.

    Like

  26. Helen says:

    As a pre-dawn runner I hope there is a very special place in hell for the owners of unleashed dogs. And believe me, early in the morning, especially once it’s still dark outside, people let their dogs out without leashes or a second thought. Not good.

    Like

  27. PJ says:

    DW’s mom! I have been thinking of DW’s mom for a week and there she is. How are you, darlin’? I’m old, too, so I can say that.
    Oh right. Hi, June. Lovely post. Hope you found the pet sitter you needed and I wish you a fun time.
    When I see that Life is Good face I always want to cry. Really and truly. Life’s a Slog but keep your feet moving anyway.
    Greensboro meet-up sounds like a blast but, really, you want to SEE us? And hear us? I’ll go with the $10 from each of us who can, and you show us what we got you. And a Greensboro meet-up.

    Like

  28. Sadie says:

    Love your $10 for the 10th idea.

    Like

  29. Sadie says:

    Your hair is gorgeous the way it is. The Curly Girl method made all the difference.
    Wow, your 10-year anniversary is right around the corner. That’s incredible and we are mighty grateful for you. Especially, since you have to blog with the distraction of teensy paws. What a hardship that must be.
    A beach vacation. Sigh. I hope next year is our year to go to the beach. Have a wonderful time.

    Like

  30. Queen Marcy says:

    Don’t change your hair, it’s perfect for your face and personality!
    For 10-year anniversary, maybe each of us fans could send you $10, which could accumulate into enough to buy yourself something from all of us?

    Like

  31. sandra says:

    I love your hair the way it is now. If you wanted to go shorter, I would suggest a cut like the mom on Parenthood, I can’t think of her Name, Zeek’s wife.
    10 years already! I wish we could all have a big get together! Maybe we should plan different Pie Meet Ups for different parts of the Country?

    Like

  32. Lisa. Not THAT Lisa says:

    Your hair is the source of envy for me. Among other things. Why we always want what we don’t have?
    Nothing says “dental health” quite like cotton candy.
    Have a great time at the beeeeeeeeeeach June! We will miss your pretty self!

    Like

  33. Stacey says:

    It is very hard to change curly hurr! Yes, there is the George Washington, and also, the dreaded triangle (a al Gilda Radner), and for some reason, short curly hair always reads butch, which is fine, but not me. Commiserations.
    I second the Hawaii idea for the 10 year reunion

    Like

  34. Just Paula H&B says:

    Plus Also Too, I WISH I had your hair. It is beautiful. That is all.

    Like

  35. Just Paula H&B says:

    Plus Also Too, I WISH I had your hair. It is beautiful. That is all.

    Like

  36. Just Paula H&B says:

    Plus Also Too, I WISH I had your hair. It is beautiful. That is all.

    Like

  37. Cheryl says:

    Maybe some side swept bangs with your hair partially straightened into waves. I have straight and fine hair so I don’t know if you can partially straighten it or not?!

    Like

  38. Laura says:

    I think your hairstyle makes you look youthful. I’m not sure the Meg Ryan pixie cut would be your style — probably works best with straight hair. Bangs would be a nightmare unless you manhandled them every day. You could mix it up once in a while by straightening it or using a lot of product to tame the curls. Both my daughter and I have thick curly hair (although mine is much less so on both counts now), so I can empathize.

    Like

  39. Just Paula H&B says:

    My dog is always on a leash because she’s a sighthound and would allegedly take off after a squirrel, bird, rabbit, chipmunk and pursue same until she was hopelessly lost and miles from home. When we adopted her, they put the fear of God into us re the leash. As for other dogs, she whines to go say hello and about wags her back end right off. Meanwhile, the other end of the leash, i.e., ME, is not as friendly, does not want to say hello to the other human and most assuredly does not wag her back end one bit.

    Like

  40. Just Paula H&B says:

    My dog is always on a leash because she’s a sighthound and would allegedly take off after a squirrel, bird, rabbit, chipmunk and pursue same until she was hopelessly lost and miles from home. When we adopted her, they put the fear of God into us re the leash. As for other dogs, she whines to go say hello and about wags her back end right off. Meanwhile, the other end of the leash, i.e., ME, is not as friendly, does not want to say hello to the other human and most assuredly does not wag her back end one bit.

    Like

  41. Just Paula H&B says:

    My dog is always on a leash because she’s a sighthound and would allegedly take off after a squirrel, bird, rabbit, chipmunk and pursue same until she was hopelessly lost and miles from home. When we adopted her, they put the fear of God into us re the leash. As for other dogs, she whines to go say hello and about wags her back end right off. Meanwhile, the other end of the leash, i.e., ME, is not as friendly, does not want to say hello to the other human and most assuredly does not wag her back end one bit.

    Like

  42. Jeanie says:

    Give me a new car for your birthday! And her, and her, and her…
    Please behave, Edsel. What in the world’s come over you? (I can’t remember the next line.)
    Also too too, I love your hair in the 2014 photo.

    Like

  43. DB in MD says:

    You posted a photo of yourself a while back and you had your hair pulled back in a ponytail. Maybe you had been out jogging? You looked great in that photo. Not that you don’t always look great, but it showed off your pretty eyes, great skin, and bone structure. How about wearing a messy bun once in a while to shake things up?
    I hope you’re not beating yourself up over Lu’s passing. You did not kill her. You eased her suffering and gave her peace. You also gave her a wonderful life.

    Like

  44. Well. Fuck unleashed dogs AND their owners. An unleashed beast came over and killed my dog. Granted, my dog (6lb Yorkie) was not on a leash, as she was out for a 2min potty break and company arrived. We live on 10 acres in the Middle of Nowhere – our driveway alone is 1/3 mile long…I’m just saying. These people were invited over, specifically told to not bring their dog, and did so anyways. Letting it loose while I was gathering up my girl to put her inside where she’d be safe. The horror that ensued in those 30 seconds is unimaginable. Moral?? LEASHES!!! (And honor a request to leave your dog home)
    So there’s that.
    And I love yer huuurrrr-do.
    Am also envious of your wrinkle-free forehead.

    Like

  45. Tee, who hates TypePad says:

    Your hurr looks great. Don’t change it.
    In celebration of your 10th anniversary of blogging treat yourself to something you have been wanting, but just haven’t had the time.
    Enjoy your vacation at the beach.
    Dog owners! I feel so sorry for the poor dogs that are owned by idiots. My neighbor’s sweet, sweet dog was killed on the road because he was too lazy to fix the section of the fence she would crawl under, it broke my heart.

    Like

  46. Jennifer says:

    Don’t change your hair! It maybe feels like it’s always the same, but do you really look at that 2011 picture and see the same Hurr as now? Worried that this is somehow going to sound offensive, but… The color is so much more flattering now. It youthens and warms your face and the way you’ve been accentuating your curls just gives you a fun, carefree, lively, and spirited look (so even if you’re not feeling it, at least you’re projecting it!)

    Like

  47. Kim, who used to live in California but now lives in Arizona says:

    I love your hair but I understand boredom and frustration. I say speak to your hair care professional to see what she has to say about the situation. Also, my Life is Good sweatshirt is my favorite piece of clothing. So warm and cozy. Too bad I hardly ever get to wear it here. Have fun at the beach, June!

    Like

  48. Renee says:

    I hear that the 10-year anniversary is the Hawaii year. I think Maui would be an excellent choice for your big bash. We can recreate the lunch lady theme.
    Don’t go changing the hair (I don’t wanna hear you complaining).
    Love and shit,
    Renee

    Like

  49. Old as dirt says:

    Your hair is beautiful just the way it is. We all get frustrated once in a while. Have you thought of wearing it up for a change or would there be too many uncontrolled tendrils sticking out?
    Have a wonderful vacation. After spending a few days in the humidity at the beach I imagine you’ll be wanting to tear you hair out – don’t.

    Like

  50. June Gardens says:

    Oh, that breaks my heart for that poor loose Lab. It was his owners’ fault.

    Like

  51. Ms.Melissa says:

    I try to change my hair and always end up back to what I started with.
    Unleashed dogs!!!! No!!! Had one come running right up to my LEASHED dog and my thug dog immediately bit him on his hind quarters. The hurt and confused look in that poor lab’s face still haunts me. He didn’t realize that my cute 27 lb dog was probably a professional fighter before I brought her home from doggie jail. It also happened about a week ago while walking in the woods. Two little dust mop dogs came running up. The owners weren’t even in shouting distance. I had to lay on my dog to protect the unleashed ones.

    Like

  52. Heather near Atlanta says:

    I darn sure would attend a 10-year Pie convention in Greensboro. Can you rent out a restaurant or something?

    Like

  53. Jimmie says:

    I want to say leave your hair alone, too, but I understand being limited in what you can do with it. Honestly, I love it, but I don’t have to deal with it every day. What would your options be for changing it? A new color, maybe?
    I like to change mine up. When you have fine, blonde hair you always think you can change it up and spray the dickens out of it with hair shellac but in an hour it looks the same. Very Bridget Jones.
    So, this was helpful. You are welcome. Enjoy the beach!

    Like

  54. Kristin in Texas says:

    Leave your “Hurr” alone. It always looks fantastic here on the blog.

    Like

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