I make the same kind of joke every time I get a new design, don't I? And actually, this one isn't done yet; we're still gonna update a few things here and there. Pretty, though, right? Remember when it was time to renew my yearly fee for stupid Typepad, and I asked if anyone could … Continue reading Does my new blog design go with these shoes?
"That Santa is out in front of The Friendly Center," announced Ned on the phone. The Friendly Center is this outdoor shopping place that's probably been around since the '50s, and they keep adding elaborate stores like Apple and Anthropologie. Every Christmas, they put the same big waving Santa statue out that Ned remembers from … Continue reading June kvetches. How many posts start with that?
"How rich was Mr. Howell, do you think?" I asked Ned. He was helping me do things, miserable things, around the house. "Really rich," said Ned. "In the opening credits, they called him The Millionaire. ...Of course, if he was that rich, why wasn't he banging Ginger instead of Mrs. Howell?" "Exactly," I said. "He … Continue reading Coffee break
How long do you allow between coats of paint? I'm painting my windowsill today, and please to enjoy my fine photo of the windowsill. It's like you're right here with me. If you had glaucoma. I just finished it at about 5 to 4:00, but I want to do a second coat. So I write … Continue reading If you do not enjoy the F word, this is not the post for you
(June blogs = you have something to read = avoid your families) Last weekend, I was helping Ned change his sheets because I ...sprinted over there. You know I like to do an early-morning long run on weekends. Actually, we live exactly two miles from each other, so, "long run." Yeah. So I ...ran over … Continue reading Cat on a cold tile roof
I have no idea how I ran so late today, but here it is. I was gonna tell you all about Ned letting me watch the Real Housewives reunion at his house last night, seeing as I heroically got rid of cable. That was probably a mistake. Still, Ima see if I can do it. … Continue reading June runs late. Paula feels tense.
One of you was nice enough to send me a few cases of canned kitten food, which when I think about it musta cost a pretty penny and thank you again. The good news is that Steely Dan just loves it, and his fur is so gleamy and soft. Jesus. I thought I'd better get … Continue reading A 51-year-old woman complains bitterly about cat food. Which is not at all sad.
On Thursday, I went to work like a normal person, and got m'roots done after. That was the last time I was living like regular folk. I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging migraine, and the worst part was I'd called the doctor and the pharmacy Thursday because all I … Continue reading On the third day she rose again
"Marvin's getting married this weekend," I told Ned, "I feel nothing." "See? That, right there. That scares the SHIT outta me. What if one day, after all this, you feel nothing for me?" I knew Ned was pointing at me dramatically, even though we were on the phone. He's in Kansas. Kansas, he says, is … Continue reading The house began to pitch. And I’m a bitch.
Yesterday at work I went back to copy editing. I asked if I could do so some months ago, and they said okay, but you have to wait till we get other editors in here, so I waited, and then without further ado or fanfare, it was all, "Can you copy edit this?" and by … Continue reading Retro June
In a fit of fiscal responsibility, I canceled my cable about a week ago, and then last night I realized I was gonna miss the intellectually stimulating Real Housewives of Orange Country reunion special. I wasn't even gonna see Ned last night, rich Ned with his cable. Ever since Ned and I decided to do … Continue reading The mother and childish reunion
SCREEEEEEEEECH! That's what woke me up this morning, a few minutes before my alarm: SCREEEEEEEEECH! "That's actually coming from outside my head," I realized, and then I wondered if someone was being murdered. Exciting! "Coooo! Cooo! Cooooo!" I heard then, and right then I knew. Either Yoko Ono was gettin' some from my neighbor, Paul, … Continue reading For six nights in a row
Do you remember a few years ago when I had everyone write in something nice about the other side? I'm talking politically. The other side of wherever you are. We're gonna do that again today. Have you ever been so mad at someone, OOOOOOooo, so mad, and then you talk, and then it's okay, and … Continue reading Break on through to the other side
What I'm not going to do? Drone on about politics when half of you feel one way, half feel the opposite. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you. What I am going to do? Make you hear about m'trip home so far. No photos yet cause it's a pain in the ass to search my … Continue reading I really thought y’all were gonna write my name in
I gots to go. I have to get in the car, drive to freaking Raleigh, get on a plane and fly to Michigan. I'm running for president and thought I'd better get on the campaign trail. That would so be how I'd run for president. Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. I'll campaign. Anyway, my … Continue reading Dewey Defeats Truman
Here's something I've told almost no one. I officially moved out of Ned's house on November 11 last year. Our deal was I'd do it while he was at work. I ended up running late. I had the last load--aka the pets--and we were puling out of the driveway just as Ned was pulling in. … Continue reading Return of the Ned. Maybe.
When I first became June’s boss, she brought up the idea of me writing a guest post for her blog—a whole “I Supervised June” thing. I said sure. Now I’m not her boss, and I have time to write the post. Those two things are not related. I think June expects me to tell you … Continue reading “I Supervised June.” A scathing guest post by my boss, fmr.
Couldn't sleep. I was up all night YELLING AT PEOPLE IN MY MIND and then I fell asleep at like 5 a.m., of course. I will write tomorrow when I'm not YELLING AT EVERYONE IN MY MIND. XO, Joon
I just spent forever waiting for my toast to pop up outta my Hello Kitty toaster, and as soon as I gave up and sat down here, it popped. Goddammit. Anyway, thanks for your comments yesterday, and to those of you who left a tip! Also, if you signed in here as commenter csmith yesterday, … Continue reading Here come ol’ flattop