Lily meowed the whole time I wrote this. Annoy.

Having a kitten isn't as much fun as they tell you it's gonna be. I'd like to speak to the manager (swings horseshoe hair).


Anyway. Why would you even WANT to attack the paper towel roll? At least it wasn't one of my highfalutin Alyssa Milano paper towels, from the Alyssa Milano Collection. I want you to know nothing kills me more than Alyssa Milano having a "collection" of anything, and I wish to collect anything she collects.

But I can't. Cause broke.

This is why I gathered you all here today. My last-minute trip to Michigan for my grandmother's birthday (+ pet-sitting); my next trip for my mother's [insert major number here] birthday (+ pet-sitting); my beach trip (+ pet-sitting), which I'd planned for ages; my sudden purchase of a car; plus the part where I no longer write for Purple Clover mean I am not as wealthy as I'd been. Wealthy. Pfft.

I maxed out my credit cards when Tallulah got sick. They'd been at zero, all three of them at zero, as of the first of this year, and it was January 1 that I came home and saw for the first time that Lu had peed on the floor. "Well, I wonder what THAT'S all about?" I remember thinking. I knew Edsel hadn't peed, cause he'd have turned into a guilty letter C. He did today when I walked in on the claw-ridden paper towel extravaganza.

So. Yeah. Broke. Sucks.

I wanted to ask you about your money sitch, not how much you make or anything like that, but how do you feel about it? Do you feel secure? This week when I got home from my trip, I called around all afternoon and canceled all my extras, which I had done months earlier with Kaye, but there were some things that I'd set up when I moved here last November that I was stuck with till the year was up, and now it's November again, so. So no cable at all, slower internet than I already had (I'd knocked it down a peg when Kaye did my budget), I'm polish-less, with no future manicures or pedicures in sight, and I'm thinking of looking in the want ads to see what Edsel can do. Maybe he could do dog modeling. You think?

O. AbfoLOOTlee.

Oh, and also, my blog dues are up. Every year, I have to pay Typepad $180, and I have to do so around November 15. I can ill afford this right now, but will try, but I know some of you hit the tip jar from time to time, and if you can afford it, please consider throwing money in there. You know I don't enjoy asking, but right now, $180 is a ton for me. If you can't afford it, for heaven's sake, do not donate.

But let's discuss. Do you feel like, yeah, I'm okay with money, or are you still shaky after the whole 2008 debacle? I was already kind of hurting in 2008, as we'd just moved here from Los Angeles and I was just starting a new job and we bought a house. But things really got ugly once Marvin left. I had no job, a mortgage and a COBRA. I can't help it–no matter what I have to have my snake.

When I moved in with Ned, I was golden. Oh my god, I remember buying clothes at the real store, not Target, because we each paid $600 a month in rent, and my car was paid off, and Ned made more than me by a lot, so he paid for dinners out and so on. Those were m'salad days, and that was how I got all my cards paid off.

Then we broke up. And I moved back here. And Tallulah got sick.

So what about you? What's your story with cash money? Are you as vulnerable to what's happening outside your world as I am, or do you have a solid plan in place even if the dog gets sick or the move is inevitable or what have you? And if so, why are you such a goddamn grownup?

In summation, I leave you with this photo of Iris in disguise. Apparently it fooled Steely Dan. ware eyeriss be? wish to bop her face relentless-lee.

I'll talk at you tomorrow. Oh! And I voted yesterday, and there wasn't even a bad line, and why they had cocaine at the voting place was beyond me.