I still have a cold. Oh my GOD, I feel miserable. I'm all cloudy and achy, and I absolutely have to go to work today; there's a big meeting with big bigwigs from bigwig-ness at work, of which I am the subject. Well, not me. But my newsletter. I'm sure you know I am the … Continue reading June. Silently bearing her cold since…oh, shut up.
I haven't wanted to ruin what I'm certain has been a stellar weekend for you, but I've been under the weather. I know. See? I knew your mood would plummet. Turning to your Big Binder of June Events (at this point it pretty much has to be a binder), you'll recall that my throat hurt … Continue reading Take a survey; control June’s life
Ned has to move. Did I tell you that? Our gaylord--well, HIS gaylord, is selling the place, a thing we distinctly asked him about in 2014 when we moved in, and he said he had no intention of selling. Of course, I'm one to talk, having kicked out my poor tenant, fmr., after just one … Continue reading Taquit-oh, June
In case you've been on pins and also the needles re my sore throat, I seem to have rallied. Because I'm tough. But I'm fair. Also, yesterday I started a new headache study, which I can tell you very little about, so you can ask all the goddamn questions you want, but I'm not gonna … Continue reading Beelzebub has a devil cat put aside for me
You know how I hate for anyone to make a fuss, but my throat hurts. All I ask is that you stampede to your local Catholic church and light a candle. Or put one of those vague posts on social media about how you "need prayers" for some undisclosed or unknown-to-us person. Dear God: For … Continue reading Be cool, Edsel
Do you think of yourself as normal? I have never once, for as long as I can remember, considered myself to be normal. And I'm glad of it, although I haven't always been. I doubt anyone else finds me normal, either. There was one woman who was married to my friend, a woman who made … Continue reading Rare. In the bloody way, not the special way.
Yesterday evening, after a very busy day that I'm sorry to inform you Ima tell you about, I headed to the grocery store to get cat food, because the cupboard was literally bare in the cat food department. I really have to look into that deliver-pet-food-regularly thing you guys keep telling me is out there … Continue reading How many of them hormones you been takin’, honey?
I've been working. You know how I told you money is tight? Like, hello boa constrictor tight? Like, night before payday I can't have dinner tight? One of the millennials at work told me you can take surveys online for cash, so I've been doing that like a banshee. You know how banshees take the … Continue reading Thank heaven for Angie’s List
Yeah, well, so. I saw Ned again. I KNOW. Everything you're gonna tell me, I already know. I KNOW, okay? Goddammit. On Friday, I went to a goodbye party for one of the Alexes, one who's actually named Alex, and it bugs her when, say, I call our coworker Tiffany "Alex." "I'm the real Alex," … Continue reading The Big Game
I saw Ned. Fifty-five days I've been alternately avoiding running into him or, on difficult days, hoping I do. Fifty-five days I've been obsessing, and being angry, and then missing him, then feeling determined and OH HELL THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I was driving to work yesterday, and there's one point, right near work, where you … Continue reading Ned sighting
I know that since you got the news yesterday about my dust mite allergy that you've been hoping and praying and writing your congressmen and so on, but I'm still here. I want my bravery to inspire others. I particularly liked it when you told me in the comments that it's okay to let go. … Continue reading She’s mite-y mite-y, just lettin’ it all hang out
Yesterday was a queer day. Did you ever see The Color Purple, when Celie says that about the weather? "It was a queer day." I always liked that line. When I was a kid, the word "queer" was all over the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and so one afternoon I told my babysitter she … Continue reading Save June