I am speaking this post into my phone. I cannot imagine the horrificness that is going to ensue. Iris is on my lap, and she is purring and starfish-ing her paws, and I do not have the heart to get up and put her aside to type on my real computer. Since I can't write much … Continue reading Iris is on my lap, so…
An old boyfriend of mine--from way back in the '90s when we wore clunky black shoes like it was sexy--went on a trip out west recently, and as a result has been showing photos on Facebook. "It's like a new version of making someone watch your vacation slides," he said. The point is, he showed … Continue reading June starts out normal, then gets pretty kvetchy at the end
I have a new thing that bugs me. "WHAT? How can that be POSSIBLE, easygoing June!" [Leans into computer, rapt.] When someone refers to any emotion being "at a cellular level." Oh, shut up. Yes, my cells know I got kicked out of Brownies when I was six, and they're still celling over it. Jesus … Continue reading Linear. That’s what I am. Yep.
This morning I got out of bed and I was all, my leg feels funny. It feels cold on the back. Oh my god, am I BLEEDING or something? Do I have leg cancer? Did I wake up on the wrong side of leg cancer? A hole. GUESS WHO chewed a HOLE in my pajamas? … Continue reading Iris. With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
I have to get up at a ludicrous hour to get Iris from the emergency vet Monday a.m., as they are an emergency vet clinic and close at, like, 7:30 a.m., so I'm writing this Sunday night. Iris's still not eating, so they wanted to keep her another night in the hopes that she will … Continue reading Pardon me boy, is this the cat that got-a chew chewed?
Today, two dogs attacked Iris. Ima try to tell you all I can remember, although it's already turning into a blur, thankfully. Since before my Year Abroad, I haven't been sleeping with the cats. Ned wouldn't allow it, although he and I did have a tradition with Iris. Often I'd go to bed before Ned … Continue reading Saturday at the Maul
I took the day off yesterday to work on my freelance work, and then I never worked on my freelance work. Welcome to me. Welcome to the splendor of me. The first thing I did was get together for coffee with Lilly of Chris and Lilly, and I like how she has to be half … Continue reading June Gardens’ Day Off
I worked till 10:00 last night, on freelance stuff, and my real work was busy yesterday, too, but at one point one of you wrote me. "I left you a tip." "Oh, you did? Wow, thanks!" Eventually, I got over there, to m'tip jar, and you'd left me enough tips that I don't have to … Continue reading June must think of title. June not feeling it right now. June hits Publish anyway.
I'm $54 overdrawn in my account, I get paid in TEN DAYS, and I just called Ned to borrow $100. I KNOW. You guys. I cannot keep living like this. If you wanna call that living. Seriously, though, here's how it happened: I got paid last Wednesday. I paid the mortgage because it was due … Continue reading Living like a college student w/out the cute body I had in college
Hloy CATS. "Hloy," Goddammit. I haven't even HAD any wine yet. HOLY cats. Jesus. In case anyone's thinking of checking me into Promises Malibu or whatever, it's 9:53 at night as I write this. I realize you're likely all in your morning-y routine and all that, all showered and parfumed and sportin' your three-piece woman … Continue reading June drinks red wine and drones
For the next week, I will be proofreading a textbook when I'm not at my regularly scheduled job. I will not be here a lot, and also if you know me in real life, I will not be phoning with you a lot. I'll be back when I can! I took photos of my toilette … Continue reading Freelance work is here
I be Hutch. Wear be Starskee? hahahahahaha Anyway. I hadn't had my eyebrows waxed since Wilford Brimley was a child, so I went to Elegant Nail & Tan, which I realize suggests all kinds of featured services that do not seem to include waxing, but you must trust me on this. While I was waiting, … Continue reading Joe Lies
Yesterday I asked you for stuff to blog about at lunchtime, but then lunchtime neared and someone I freelance for said, "Can you do this really fast?" and I said, "$ure," and who's sick of my dollar signs for Ses? S's? Sszez? So that ruined that lunch hour, and now I can't remember what all … Continue reading The many photography talents o’June
I overslept. I went to bed last night, as I told a friend of mine, somewhere between old lady and clinically depressed o'clock. The whole migraine weekend screwed me up. So, do the thing. What do you want me to blog about at noon? ...And let's remember that what we read about on Facebook's Pie the … Continue reading Help June blog
I woke up Thursday with a migraine, which is annoying. When you wake up with one, there's really nothing you can do. It's often too late to take medicine. But took some I did, and fortunately it worked, so I only had to work with a migraine for, you know, three hours or something comfy … Continue reading The one where June’s family assumes she’s missing, has fit
Now that Edsel's dog brain has snapped and I have to literally go outside with him (as opposed to figuratively going outside with him, the way I used to. "I'm outside with you in spirit, Eds!"), I realize it's really one of my favorite parts of my day. It's so pretty back there, with the … Continue reading I foresee terrible trouble. And I stay here just the same.
Yesterday's family stories were hilarious. I knew I'd like them. All day I wanted to tell you my friend Dave's family story, one of 3949493944 of them that he has, but I was doing that pesky work thing, and then right after work I had my hair, so hello, home at 8:30. I mean, I … Continue reading Somebody better put your bag into your place
Last night, I got home from work at about 6:00, fed everyone, then flumped onto the couch, only to jolt awake at 8:30 after having slept like a toddler all evening. Then I went to bed last night and slept like a toddler again till, like, now. Hey, doxycycline, how about you invade my whole … Continue reading These darn shoes
I'd just like to thank Dr. Antibiotic, inventor of the antibiotic, in 1512, and you can fact check that. For I flumped into the doctor on Friday feeling truly horrific. I wanted to sleep and not go to the appointment, that's how awful I felt, and whatever happened to home visits or whatever they're called? … Continue reading The one where June gets sick as she types.
I am still sick. I know, man. This it it. Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you, honey. I'm going to the doctor at 4:00. IF I MAKE IT THAT LONG. In the meantime, a Realtor, and yes that really is a proper noun, is coming at noon to see what my house is worth. I'm … Continue reading 3/3/17