A quarter of you are still Team Ned. Really.

Yesterday, I discovered this site lets you create surveys right here, without having to traipse over to Survey Monkey or whatever. So I tried to embed one in my blog, couldn’t figure it out, but DID figure out how to share my survey on Facebook, which means really I coulda just gone to Survey Monkey.

Ooooo, and before I go on with that riveting story, I wanted to tell you I got an email from someone who said she’s been a long-time reader who never comments, and that she’s delighted I swung on over to WordPress, to the Pressing Words, because she WORKS there and her job is to HELP people figure shit out here and did I have any questions?

So oh my god, yes, I have questions, as does the beleaguered person who’s setting up my blog, and Dear Person Who Wrote Me: We have more. I just never got around to writing you. I will. CONGRATULATIONS.

I should mention that people who read me here write me a lot, whether it’s email or IM or that Facebook messaging or whatever, and I apologize if I don’t answer everything. Often I see it while I’m doing other things and I think, “Oh, I’ll get back to that” and then I never have time. I’m sorry.

Anyway, I discovered I can do surveys, which is exciting, so yesterday I decided to put a survey on Facebook asking if I should get back together with Ned.

heeeee!

Oh my god, it took four seconds for eight hundred and nine million people to go, “NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! NOOOOOOO!” I could hear the crowd outside my window moaning, Nooooooo.

There’s even a comment section. “Are you KIDDING?” was the usual aghast answer.

Then, inexplicably, 25% of you said, “Sure, go ahead.”

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“I put a survey on Facebook asking if we should get back together,” I told Ned.

“Oh, that’s funny. Did anyone say yes?”

“Twenty-five percent!”

Really.”

Ned has this way of saying, “Really” that lets you know he’s appalled and trying to be polite. “I just spent $250 on a day of psychic readings and Botox!”

Really.”

“Ima go look for puppies!”

Really.”

It is the same reaction I am assuming he’ll have when I FINALLY GET MARRIED AGAIN and I will call him with the pseudo-polite, “I’m just telling you this so you don’t hear it elsewhere” that I absolutely cannot wait to do.

Really,” he’ll say, as if the idea of a person in her 50s marrying is so ridiculous. Why tie yourself down? You have the rest of your life! Like, you’ve got 15 more minutes you don’t have to be chained to another soul!

The point is, folks, no with the Ned reuniting. Oh, sure, if he became A WHOLE NEW HUMAN. But otherwise, no.

But I knew it’d be a fun survey. Stay tuned for more, where I will actually consider your answers and not just fuck with you! Now no one’s gonna play with any of my surveys. I have a survery, ya’ll! “Really,” you’ll all say.

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In other news, they had this brand-new dog bed at work that they gave me, and while I did want to keep it on the four inches of workspace they give me in that delightful open floor plan, I took it home for The Eds, who sniffed it for a million minutes and I wonder if they actually put a dog on it for whatever at work. Anyway, he needed a new bed. He had two, but one has a hole in the middle that Lottie dug, where she’d hide all her toys.

I miss Lottie. Steely Dan is just a cat version of Lottie, really.

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Speaking of which, it was a pretty day yesterday, and really spring here is my favorite, so all the cats and the one dog (sad. ONE dog. That’s just wrong) and I went into the yard to enjoy the before-bugs weather that is so rare and delightful here.

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This month is my house-aversary, and go ahead and hate me for saying that. I do. I hate me. But nine years ago we looked at this house right at this time of year, and I remember this plant being bloomed when we got here. Also, Alf my handyman is in the midst of fixing that whole archway thing. We’re waiting for the gate to weather like my skin and then we’re going to paint the whole shebang. And by “we” I mean Alf.

He’s also going to paint my front porch for me, the color of which we have been hotly debating on Pie on the Face on Facebook, a name that no longer makes any sense.

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Little Miss Shavey Parts was content to stay near me while I Yoko’d her.

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The ONE dog was, oddly, playing with Blu for a change.

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And, oh my god, here is a SLIDESHOW (who knew??) of Steely Dan being a dick, attacking poor Lily, and taking her place. He has THE WHOLE yard not to mention THE WHOLE ROOF but it was more fun to usurp Lily.

Asshole. Why do I love him?

Anyway, I’d better go. I’m still debating what colors to paint my front porchal area.IMG_6596.jpg

You know how I am. I want it girly, so when you all say, “How about RED?” I die a million deaths. Red is not girly. My mother said glossy black will be classic, and maybe I can do that and girl it up with a girly doorbell, knocker and mailbox. Black steps and gray porch?

Or she said butter yellow, and I KNOW I’d settled on a light purple door but will that be too busy? My mother said it’s so small–that’s what SHE said–that it’d be too busy.

Everyone is sick of my porch. Even Ellen is sick of Portia, because sick-of-porchness is sweeping the nation.

Okay, goodbye. Waving at you from my…porch.

75 thoughts on “A quarter of you are still Team Ned. Really.

  1. Obviously we need a new name for Pie on the Face. June on the Face?

    Great action shots of SD. You sure you don’t want to go into professional photography?

    I like your idea of light purple for the door, I don’t think it will be too busy. I like the idea some people had on Facebook of light purple door with dark grey steps.

    We’re painting our front door red. I’m not a girly girl.

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  2. Facebook of June.

    I don’t think the light purple will be busy, exactly, but now I’m in love with the idea of glossy black. Seems very French to me.

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  3. I hate to disagree with mother but I think a colored door would look great on your house as long as it’s not over the top, like neon orange. A colored door on a white body would give it some umph. You could go black or charcoal on your shutters. I’ve played with your house in the past and a lot of colors look cute. and it’s just a door so if you hate it you can paint it again. It takes less than a pint of paint. Or, paint a poster board and hang it up there to get an idea. Samples are cheap.

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  4. I’ve seen quite a few light turquoise doors around my neighborhood (northern VA) recently., so not sure if it’s too faddish for you, but it sure is pretty… and then! and then! you can paint the porch ceiling that delightful “haint” light blue the South does so well! (is that more of a MS thing, than an NC thing? Perhaps.) I am not sure the haint goes with light purple, though? What about navy for the porch and steps?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Waving to Pam – hi, neighbor! She’s right – lots of houses up here have bright-color doors and even shutters. It looks great.

      Apologies if this posts more than once – WordPress made me sign in approximately 6 billion times during this process.

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    2. I’ve been nagging my husband to paint the ceiling of our front porch Haint Blue for the longest time. He’s on board with the color, he’s just not in a big hurry to actually DO it.

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      1. Laura Lee – just saw this reply from last week. No offense taken whatsoever! I still stand by the fact that June at least was considering dating him again. I was one of the “pro-Ned” respondents, but reiterated that I would suggest she only do so on her own terms and nothing else. I realize that imposing your own terms is almost impossible for any relationship, but there you go.

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      2. Plus also too – I appreciate y’all’s assumptions that I know more about June’s relationship with Ned than others might, but I am a firm believer that nobody can ever really know what’s going on in another person’s relationship – so nobody is qualified to pass educated judgment on anyone’s relationship. God knows my own is a freaking mess.

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      1. Just meaning she may have an insight others don’t have about June thinking about dating Ned again. You didn’t offend me. ha Didn’t mean to offend you either. Lordy, it is tough to comment on here isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I guess since you still hang out with Ned and I don’t have the Facebook info nor do I have the whole story (that must make the difference) I don’t see the NO WAY NO NED. So, it is up to you with all your info to make that decision.

    If you want a pink front door , go for it woman. I had the thought of painting your closet doors that you want to cottage up pink. I like the green on the front door. Painting the porch pink with the green door might work.Or painted pink rugs down the green worn stairs.

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  6. I lovelovelove the slide show! SD has his reasons, I’m sure.

    Your house is so cute! I wouldn’t do black (get out the gutter y’all) only because I don’t think it would make you happy. Not cheery enough. I love the idea of purple and I just saw that several shades of purple are on the “hot” list for the coming year – amethyst was one and the other name escapes me but was kind of a grayish purple. Cloud berry or something like that. Yellow sounds pretty, but I think it might get dirty fast.

    Here’s how I choose paint colors – I go to one of those fancy paper selling stores and find three or four maybe colors. Then I go home and stick said paper on the wall/door/whatever I plan to paint. Then I step back and squint my eyes and see what my brain tells me. This is my patented method, but feel free to use it. Free of charge.

    Happy House-aversary!

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  7. SD is a jerk! Lily looks so happy and then the look on her poor face as she walks away. I love the photography, thanks for sharing. I miss having pets so always enjoy your pics.

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  8. No pink? Hello Kitty must make a door knocker! Black is classic but also draws heat if your house has sun exposure.
    SD is a dick but great slide show.

    Lovely post, pretty June/Jan/Juan

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    1. I have an issue with pink and green. Always have. Pink and green makes me want to kill myself. Mom, Aunt Kathy, do you recall my childhood obsession with pink and green?

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  9. I wanted a black door with every fiber of my being. I needed to have a black door. I begged for a black door. Husband would just not agree. So we have a wooden-colored door. (I don’t know, oak? Lightish but not too light? Wood-colored. Crayola called. Wants to hire me to name crayon colors.) And I’m less than delighted with it. And then new people moved in down the street and they got a black door and I became obsessed with it. I point it out every time and comment on how much I like it, to the point of even annoying my own self.

    HOWF*CKINGEVER, when my parents lived in this house, the house was mauve and the door and shutters darker mauve. We changed it to beige/taupe (shut UP) siding with that colonial blue or federal blue or whatever blue shutters. THEN I wanted a red door until I realized it would look like Apollo Creed lived with us.

    MORE THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MY DOOR. Apologies. I guess I’ve had enough coffee now.

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      1. I love a red door with a grey or greyish-green house. My house is a yellow/cream, and it kills me because I would love to have a red door. Do you think I would be justified in replacing all the siding on the house, just to have a red door?

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      1. Our front door is Chinese Red (that’s the actual color name) in high gloss. We get so many compliments on it. Our house is a grayish-green (or greenish-gray) and the red is a good contrast.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. If it helps your envy, a black door is undesirable for several months if you live anywhere sun-like. Unlock door, push open with forearm while carrying groceries? Scalding pain. Last year in our 102 heat, I *knew* the door would be hot and still ended up with a burn welt.

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  10. My niece has a purple door with her house number in white centered smack-dab in the middle. It looks very cool. So happy to see Edsel’s big smile. I’m kind of obsessed with the pink cat hanging off whatever in the picture of the dog bed. Do you know where it came from? Must get one for my daughter.

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  11. Darkish purple, maybe eggplant, with a medium gray porch. Dark colors show all the dust and pollen, Paula.

    I love SD just being a kitten.

    Thanks for the suggestion of the colored paper, I’m going to .try that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG, dust and pollen. Of course. My car is black and covered with pollen. THANK GOD my door isn’t black!! Tee, you just saved my marriage.

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  12. The inside of my house is very open with high ceilings, an open floor plan, and lots of light. It’s painted a rich butter yellow and an odd gray/periwinkle/purple color that changes with the light. I’d have never put those two colors together but I love it in my house. (To be fair, I didn’t put them together. I bought it that way.)

    I have used WordPress for years and always thought I was behind the times. That’ll learn me, I guess. I’m no guru. I write and then try to figure it all out later. I think those in the know can tell.

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  13. who’s a dick? you’re a dick! said in my best sing song-y voice!

    i always enjoy spring around your place. lovely photos and memories of sitting on the porch (my old porch! not yours) watching the lightening bugs come out.

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      1. June, in case you were dying to know my survey response, count me with the 75% who may have unknowingly quoted Nancy Reagan with her, “Just say NO!” slogan.

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  14. My summer kitchen has two old wood doors and screens that SLAM behind you. The old wood doors finally bit the big one. Do you know new wood doors with windows in them are super expensive, holy heck! So I went to the salvage preservation place and bought two cool old doors with windows in them and they were half price that day along with a $25 delivery fee so for $117 I now have functioning doors (well they will be once they are installed). ANYWAY, I’m painting these suckers gloss black. My current broken doors are an orange red. Have always gone funky hippy dippy with my summer kitchen and am going classic now and will bring in the funk with other whimsys.

    Having said all that, my cute little yellow wood garden shed was hit by one too many tornadoes, golf ball size hail and a nice straight line wind event a couple weeks ago. It sadly has to finally come down tomorrow. Am not replacing it with anything. My outbuildings need so much work, it seriously looks like my place has been abandoned.

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      1. So I paint an exterior door to a 50s brick charmer house three groovy 70s colors: orange, chartreuse and turquoise. I see NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! It’s groovy. I dig it. It’s a happy happy Brady Bunch door. On a 50s brick house. SHUT UP!

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    1. Nancy, that is my dream relationship. I would have stayed married to my ex, if we just moved to separate houses, did stuff together when we felt like it, and then retired to our own homes.

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  15. I like the eggplant shade for the door, but what will the cement color be? Light gray?
    Also, you could put a nice “hello” in simple cursive near the door handle. I can fix you up with that. But does that go against your word statement as décor aversion?

    Steely Dan is incredibly handsome.

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  16. What about pink and silver? You could even get a can of spray glitter and make the pink sparkle! Its your door to do whatever you want.

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  17. I think the black/grey would be nice but the door should be that beautiful Tiffany’s blue. Can’t get any girlier than that 🙂

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  18. I don’t think purple – either light or eggplant – would be too busy, although I would then paint the porch and steps something neutral, like grey. I think it would be busy with the steps painted purple too. I’m not a big fan of painted steps anyway. Some who owns a house on my drive to work painted their steps pink, and I HATE those steps. They burn my eyes, every time I see them.

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  19. Pink!! I saw a picture of a pink front door the other day and loved it:

    Maybe a blush pink with some sparkle in it for the “ceiling” of your porch and the stairs and porch a complementary grey with a tiny bit of sparkle.

    Liked by 1 person

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