In which June insinuates that she had a night of passion with her dog.

I have an exciting fact for you.

The Dragonfly Inn from The Gilmore Girls…

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…is the Waltons’ house.

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Taaa DAAAAA! June’s blog. Come for the cooking and geometry tips. Stay for the TV trivia.

Website. Shit. Not blog. Son of a…

You know, it wouldn’t have killed Olivia Walton to put in a flower box or two. Spruce the place up. Not to mention grass. Did I ever tell you that when my Uncle Leo first started dating my Aunt Kathy, he thought our family was rich because we had grass?

He aimed high.

I remember my friend Saundra thought someone was rich because she shopped at Pier One.

I once amused my father and aunt by saying only rich people had Kleenex. The rest of us used toilet paper. The common folk. This has resulted in my aunt sending me cases of Kleenex through the years. So I can live large. I really never do buy Kleenex for myself, unless I have one of those colds where you need Kleenex 45 times a day.

My mother thought only rich people had clear measuring cups. My mother has had the same Tupperware, opaque measuring cup that’s half melted near her iron since I was a toddler. She finally went to town and got a clear measuring cup not long ago, for kitchen usage.

It annoys me when people use “usage” when “use” will do just fine. Also “utilize.” When I’m copyediting something at work written by one of the businessy people and not one of the, you know, writers, I note the business folk are big fans of “utilize.”

Anyway, what sorts of stupid things do you think are rich-people things? And I don’t even mean rich. I mean people in the next bracket from you.

Is there anyone here who considers him or herself rich? I do on those rare occasions I find money in a pocket. I never even HAVE real money anymore. So if I find a folded five in a pocket, WOOOOO! I’m rich!

Did you ever take this test to see if you’re in the middle class? I did. I’m in the middle. Now that I made Ned tell me how much he makes, I checked and he’s in the upper. This is probably why he never told me a real number till I pressed. Because I’d almost immediately mention it on my blog.

I gotta go. I went to my headache study class last night and they stressed the importance of enough sleep, so I went to bed early and then when the alarm went off I slept through the first three snoozes. So now I’ve screwed myself up with my phony eight hours of sleep, which ended up being eight and a half because hello, snooze.

I hate my alarm. I mean, I like how it looks–it’s a round metal retro one, because I read once that digital alarms next to your head eventually kill you.

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But the snooze is FIVE FREAKING MINUTES, which is annoying. And go ahead. Just try to find one that looks cute like this with a decent snooze feature. GO AHEAD I DARE YOU.

Pay no attention to Steely Dan’s ridiculous feets.

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Speaking of SD, given that Edsel was in the bedroom with me all night with the door shut,

Do you have any idea how long I just tried to download After the Lovin’ by Englebert Humperdink? Finally I just made it a link. I gotta ask my contact at WordPress what’s up.

ANYWAY, given that I was in there with Edsel and you’ve now called Animal Control or whatever, Ima go out on a limb and guess that Steely Dan wanted to see something outside, here.

All right, now I could not be later for work. Is a shower 100% necessary?

In his grip,

June

86 thoughts on “In which June insinuates that she had a night of passion with her dog.

  1. When my friends and I met some South Philly boys at a telethon in Center City (downtown) we invited them to my house in the Norfeast (I kid you not, that is how one of them said it!) , when my parents were down the shore. They thought we were rich because we had carpet on the stairs.

    Rich people have staff to do all of their dirty work for them.

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  2. I always thought anyone with a brick house was rich. Wood houses were for us poor folks. I came from a town of 2000 people where logging was one of the main occupations.

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  3. Rich people did not have cows or have to spend many of their summer vacation days baling hay. Rich people also don’t have to buy generic brands of anything.

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  4. Growing up I thought our next door neighbors were rich because they had those mirrored tiles all over one wall in their living room and their wallpaper was metallic. Also they had a rake for their wall to wall shag carpet. Come to think of it, he was the undertaker. They probably were rich.

    Imma go take the test now and find out how rich I am today. If I don’t come back it’s because I’m better than all y’all.

    How many times can I laugh at “In His Grip”? So far – all of them.

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  5. When I was 18 I moved from Montana to Washington DC to be a nanny. The thing that stood out the most to me was that the rich folks have a lot of staff, and they monogram everything. Are they afraid that their staff will steal their pillowcases, tote bags, stationery and towels? I also learned that there is a very strict chain of command among the staff. The nanny is in charge of the house when the employers are away, so I was in charge of a gardener and a housekeeper who were both at least 30 years older than me. It was all weird.

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  6. Also, rich people always buy the name brand stuff, like real Campbell’s Soup and Coke, and not the store brand soup and RC Cola or Fanta or Shasta.

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  7. Rich people went on vacation. I was an Army brat, our vacations consisted of moving. Also? I bet Olivia Walton didn’t have Kleenex so you know she couldn’t afford flower boxes. Plus, she could barely get out of the kitchen long enough to hang clothes on the line, so no time for anything as frivolous as a flower box.

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  8. 100% agree that rich people don’t have to buy generics. I will take the income quiz later and report back. Also how am I supposed to ignore SD’s ridiculous feets when they are so cute?

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  9. I agree with Raspberry Koala – rich people have staff. Especially people who cook for them. Hey! Maybe I’m semi-rich, because I have kind of “staff”. I pay people to mow my lawn and do the landscaping. No, on second thought, the men at my house are lazy buggers who let our yard turn into a wheat field before they’ll mow and I’m just not mowing my own lawn. Also,I’m now poor because of paying the staff.

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    1. Also in the middle income tier. Did anyone else keep saying “Pew! Pew! Pew!” to themselves the whole time they were doing the survey? It’s like a survey from Star Wars.

      No? Just me? OK then.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Rich people had more than one bathroom in their house and they could shop at places on Saturday afternoon called KMart.

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  11. Where I live, Rich People have too much time on their hands to worry about stupid things, like ants on their Patios or bees buzzing around their Mimosas while they are outside trying to have Brunch!

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  12. The rich women I know pay at least $100 but more likely $200 for jeans. In fact, all their clothes cost more and they shop without waiting for sales. I’ve always wondered what that would be like – and also if $200 jeans actually feel and fit better.

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  13. Rich people had potato chips. We never had potato chips. Soft drinks, either.

    But then years later someone described me and my sister as rich. I was incredulous. Why? I did ask and it was because of our cars. I had a 1969 Karmann Ghia convertible and my sister had a 1972 Super Beetle. Both were gifts, both were complete junk when we got them, and we both paid a summer’s worth of wages to get new paint, new seats because the old ones were crumbling, new top because the one I had was cut so that someone could steal the radio, and new dashboards. Plus the heaters barely worked and forget about the defrosters. But to some we were rich.

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    1. We never had potato chips or soft drinks but not because we weren’t rich. It was because my mom didn’t allow junk food. We had fruit and sun tea. If we wanted junk food, we had to go to Gramma’s house. Not only did she have the good snacks and soda, she also had bowls of fun-size candy bars on her side tables. We LOVED going to Gramma’s house!

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        1. And fun cereal, sububancorrespondent. You have to have Lucky Charms and the like. My nephew’s kids LOVE living at my house because I buy them the good cereal.

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  14. When I was a kid and had a pen pal that I got from writing in to Big Blue Marble, I thought her family was rich because they sent out photo Christmas cards and dressed in matching outfits and had white wall-to-wall carpet. Yeah, pretty sure they were rich. I think someone is in a higher “bracket” than me if they come across a good sale on something useful (like, the one model of New Balance that don’t make your feet hurt) and buy two pair instead of just one, in case they stop making them or they get hard to find.

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  15. I do not buy Kleenex either, only when I’m sick. I wash and reuse my Ziploc bags as well. I’ll go take the quiz now. Maybe I can retire early due to my frugal ways.

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  16. Crap, thought I was being all clever there. I Was going for “stuck in the middle with you” (hello old brain, always check Google first) but now I’ve worked way too hard for that joke. F for me!

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  17. Rich people lived in the Country Club style (we lived in the Cape Cod). Rich people went skiing (we went sledding). Rich people went to sleepaway camp (we went to alcoholic dad’s shitty house).

    Also, SD’s feets are adorable!

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  18. Rich people buy clothes at the mall, not big box stores.

    An acquaintance on Facebook got a piercing on the swirly part of the inside of her ear. It is supposed to help with migraines. Looked like it hurt like heck, but she said she’s been a month migraine free. It made me think of you, and even if it didn’t cure, you’d have somewhere new to hang pink, sparkly things.

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  19. My mom was sick with cancer from the time I was 3 until she died when I was 5. We had a ton of medical bills and my dad had 3 kids to support. So he would get the paper once a week that had coupons to buy frozen pot pies for a penny so he could feed us dinner for less than a nickel. Finally we moved up to being able to afford tuna noodle casserole and mac & cheese with hot dogs cut up in it after he got remarried and our new mom had a second income coming in. So I though anyone who didn’t eat those three dishes was rich. If I went to a friend’s house for dinner and they served me a piece of chicken I thought I had hit the big time! I can barely eat pot pies to this day. Ha!

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  20. When I was a kid, the following criteria meant you were rich: two story house, in-ground swimming pool, a piano.

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    1. we had all of those growing up but I know when I wanted to go to the diner up the street with my friends we never had the money. We were very house poor for a long time. People thought we were rich though because apparently when my dad was young his family had some money for a bit. Every bit was gone by the time I rolled around.

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    2. Two-story house? That made me laugh! We had a two-story house, and so did everyone else in my town. We had a piano though, and an above-ground swimming pool. I guess we were upper middle-class.

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  21. I always thought my aunt was rich because she had a big car. I asked my husband this question, he said an electric skillet and a window air conditioner.

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  22. Rich people had fireplaces and went on a week’s vacation every year, staying in a MOTEL. And go out to eat at a restaurant such as Outback all the time with their whole brood. Had big yards and a boat for the lake.

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    1. My childhood home had a fireplace. Our family vacations involved tent camping for up to 2 weeks in the Sequoia National Forest. How the hell my Mom put up with that is beyond me as she is NOT the “roughing it” type. We never went out to restaurants, though. Once in a blue moon, my dad splurge on McDonalds (I know!) and that was almost better than Christmas.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I never ate in a Diner until I was fourteen. I went to a nicer resturant at 17 with friends when I could pay for it myself. My parents had five kids so eating out was not something we did. We had a house down the shore but not the cool one most peiole went to. Said house had an outhouse, cement floors and walls and one big room upstairs. It was a cape cod. It had a woodstove for cooking and a water pump. We washed up most days, showered at my dad and uncle’s marina where they kept the boat when we became teens. (You were supposed to live on your boat to do that). The house and boat were owned in partnership by our family and my uncle’s.

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  24. I thought if you had a brick mailbox you were rich…had MADE it. I don’t consider us wealthy but some folks do because we have 2 incomes and no children to spend it on. What they don’t realize is we help support half of my husband’s family. Anyway, when we did our remodel I mentioned the mailbox and my husband laughed and said he would let me have one…it was the cheapest part of the remodel.

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  25. I always thought people who went out to eat at Lavender’s Cafeteria or who shopped at Sanger Harris back in the 60’s and 70’s were really rich. We never went out to eat and shopped at Myer’s Department Store on layaway.

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  26. As a child I thought my own family was rich. Later, when my mom died, I realized we weren’t and then in high school I thought everyone who lived in Golf Side was rich. And they were. Now I am old and know that in reality, family is what makes you rich.

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  27. growing up, rich people’s kids wore the coolest, latest clothes. they had the current hair cut (not like my horrible dorthy hamill) and on their 16th birthdays they all got new cars. like, mustangs. almost like i grew up with/in “The Outsiders”. i took the test and it says i am middle class. someone recently posted a meme on FB that said something about having the bills of a rich person. that’s me. middle class but a ton of debt. woo.

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  28. Rich people shopped and ate at restaurants downtown in the fancy section. Poor people shopped at Meijer and K-mart and ate at McDonalds.
    I was reduced school lunches and hand me downs poor as a kid. Middle class as an adult.

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  29. I grew up in a fairly affluent area in CA. People thought my family was rich because my dad was a doctor. But we lived in the “poor” part of town compared to some of my friends who live in honest to god mansions, with elevators and full exercise rooms with saunas, and huge swimming pools WITH hot tubs.
    Rich to me now, means you can travel on a whim and not have to worry about paying more for not booking 2 months in advance. Oh and rich means being able to have fresh flowers delivered to your home every week.

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  30. Dammit…Walton house/Dragonfly Inn. Different camera angle, yellow paint, bigger trees, and grass. I didn’t watch the Gilmore seasons thing. Now I’m afraid that Loralai dumped Luke for geriatric Jim Bob.

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  31. When I was a kid we lived in a neighborhood that really was above our income and all of my friends had Barbie houses and Barbie cars and real Barbie clothes bought at the store that they kept in a Barbie suitcase that had these little hangers and drawers to keep all your store bought Barbie shoes. They were rich. They were Richie Rich. My Barbie which was a hand-me-down had toilet paper dresses and I made shoes out of acorns. Seriously I did. When I was in high school my Richie Rich friends went skiing over the holidays and went away in the summer to sleep away camp. I went to my cousins and shoveled horse shit. When I was a young adult my Richie Rich friends bought brand name foods and hair products I bought what was cheap. Now that I’m an old person. I still do that.

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  32. I didn’t do the rich/poor thing when I was a kid. I did the Jew/Gentile thing. We Jews had Hellman’s – the goys had Miracle Whip. We had “normal” lunchmeat – the goys had liverwurst. We had Manischewitz – the goys had the Julio Gallo stuff.

    I will spare you the rest, but I had an honest-to-God list in my head.

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  33. So I was all, woohoo, I’m firmly in the middle class! And then, there’s the second part of the test, where you put in your education level, age, race, etc. I found out that amongst people of my age, education, and race, 58% are upper class, and only 37% are middle class. Which means my mother was right, and I’m not living up to my full potential. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that growning up…I’d be in the upper class.

    Rich people can pay someone else to clean their house. And they can travel abroad.

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  34. REALLY Rich people things: Owning a private jet, attending a Swiss boarding school, owning a private island, having a “family trust” for charitable purposes, having staff _including_ ‘security’, etc.

    Rich people things: Flying first class,attending Avenues (in NYC) or other private schools, owning a yacht, creating trust funds for your children, having staff (ie. cleaners, gardeners), etc.

    As a kid growing up solidly middle class, I never thought much about money. We had a house with a yard, went to public school, went on vacations once a year. I didn’t think of myself as ‘rich’ or ‘poor’ but I had this vague understanding that some families didn’t have as much and some families had more.

    I remember being fascinated by a book called “Striped Ice Cream” about a single mom raising several kids. Their celebration food was ‘hot dogs sliced into pork & beans’ with ‘striped ice cream’. It was fascinating because (as a kid) I thought hot dogs were always served in buns with condiments, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You know what? I think you’re right! (although I could have sworn there was a mention of hot dogs sliced into pork and beans…..) After I made that comment I checked the library and the book is SO OLD they only have an “in library use” reference copy! UGH. 🙂

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  35. When I was a child I knew rich kids could get new shoes whenever they needed them and they got NEW snow boots every fall instead of wearing too small ones from last year until your older sibling outgrew hers and passed hers down.
    In college you were rich if you went on spring break instead of back home to work the 8 to 5 job that was saved for you for every weekday you weren’t in school (including the Friday after Thanksgiving, days before and after Christmas, Spring break, and every gosh darn day all summer).
    My first house was very similar to June’s except it had a tiny attached garage (attached!) I could barely fit my small car into. Then, wait for the grandeur, then I got an automatic garage door opener. This is important in Buffalo. The first time I pulled in my little narrow driveway, pushed my automatic garage door opener, and walked into my house warm and dry I called my best friend and yelled, “I’m a rich woman!” I was a school teacher with a two bedroom house and I felt like a real rich woman.

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  36. When I was growing up with my multitude of siblings, I thought anyone who had a bedroom of their own was rich. When I was in junior college I dated a boy for a while and when we went to his house one day, we saw that he lived in a big sprawling ranch house with a two car garage, with just him and his parents, and my friend and I were making comments about him being a ‘poor little rich boy’. I doubt that he was, because he was going to a junior college, but I guess the house felt rich to me.

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  37. With six of us (and later, my baby sister) living in a small 1-bathroom house with a window a/c unit that was run only on very hot days, anyone with two bathrooms and central A/C was fortunate in my book.

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  38. According to Lauren Graham’s newest book (that my estrogen-questionable husband got me for Christmas for reasons I can’t quite figure out), you could walk through Lorelai’s closet in her house and be inside Sookie’s house. There are a million fun facts in that book, and I love how she discusses each Season’s hair styles. She had/has very difficult hair.

    Don’t get me started with rich vs not rich where I live. I just read an article that said if you and your spouse want to retire in the Bay Area, you must have between 3 and 4 million dollars in the bank. Like that’s going to happen. To me, rich was always about the shoes and purses. Rich people don’t wear the same shoes as the rest of us, and they don’t carry bags sold in Target.

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    1. The shoes and purses! You reminded me that my older sisters always commented on the specific brands of shoe and purses the rich girls had. I can still remember the brands names from fifty years ago!

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      1. Sadie, where I’m from the rich girls wore Papagallo’s and carried Coach purses or since I am from Texas, Enid Collins purses. They wore Frye boots in the winter and Bare Trap sandals in the summer. Bobbie Brooks and Johnathon Martin were big names that the rich girls went to Dallas and bought at Neiman Marcus. I remember in high school I saved up all my babysitting and bookkeeping money and bought me a robin egg blue Bobby Brook’s twin set and a Benneton skirt. I thought I had made it to the upper class. Now Bobby Brooks can be purchased at Dollar General and the rest are out of business.

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        1. I was glad that I didn’t care about any of that when I was in high school. I sewed my own clothes and had great friends who also didn’t care about brands. We had moved before I started high school so maybe it was a combination of a different atmosphere and the friends I made.

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  39. Not to sound holier-than-thou, but I never really thought about rich/not rich. At least not until well into my 30s. When I was a kid, the people up the street had a POOL. Rich? Well, they had it because the middle daughter had scoliosis and it was her therapy. Poor girl had to wear a brace and everything. And got to swim in that pool. That same family also bought cars for each of the daughters for their 16th birthdays. Now, we were rich in friends in that we got to swim in that pool and get rides to school in those cars.

    I also thought anyone who flew some place for a vacation was rich. Or different. We only ever drove places for vacation. But again, we were rich in that we knew more about our own part of the world that a lot of people didn’t know about. But I kind of wished I had learned about OTHER parts of the world.

    Gawd! I sound like such an ass!

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  40. When I was little I thought people with a two-story house AND and swimming pool were rich. Just one or the other didn’t qualify as rich. Rich people had “oriental rugs” on wood floors and not carpet. I thought you were poor, or in danger of being poor, if your mother worked. IMAGINE! It was the 70s, I didn’t know better. I specifically remember which of my friends I thought were rich and in NO WAY did I consider myself in that batch, but by some people’s standards, we were. We went to private/church school, we had a housekeeper once a week, we went on a few trips, I went to summer camp for two weeks each summer, my father owned his own company, etc. Writing it all out makes it seem much more high-falutin’ than it really was. I promise.

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  41. The same aunt that had the big car also had a swimming pool and they traveled, so they were rich. I thought we were rich when Daddy bought a window fan at Sears-Roebuck. No one had air conditioning, not even the schools.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We had a window fan that ran every day during the summer and it was only later that my dad installed a window a/c in another room that was only occasionally used. When I was in grade school, one of my friends invited me to spend the day with an aunt in a neighboring town. Imagine how my eyes must have bugged when I saw she had not only a swimming pool, but an ELEVATOR in her large house! Talk about rich!

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    2. Tee, I grew up in south Mississippi and never had air conditioning in my schools until I got in college – and then it was only a very few classrooms that had it. You cannot imagine how miserable it can be in September in south Mississippi dissecting a frog in 90% humidity and it was still 95 outside. I do not miss those days at all.

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  42. Y’all until we started building houses in Beverly Hills I had no idea what true wealth was. I am just gobsmacked at what these people throw out and what they pay for things. One of the houses we just finished has 5 – $40,000 toilets. I’m not sure what makes it worth 40K but evidently it does everything including wipes your ass and bleaches your butt hole. The door handles inside the house are worth more than my whole house. Her shoe closet is the size of my master bedroom. It is amazing and they think nothing of it. We have been on the project for 2 years and in that time they have traveled more days than have been home. So far just this year they have been to Cuba twice, Israel, Paris, Monaco, Cannes, St Barts, New Zealand and they just left for some private island in the South Pacific. Yeah that is rich or highly over leveraged.

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  43. So, I’m late to the party. I’m from Kentucky, the hillbilly part. Rich was wearing Etienne Aigner shoes, carrying Aigner purses and richest of rich wearing an Aigner leather coat. The thing was, we all called it Ag-Nurs. Ag-Nurs. Not that I personally owned an Ag-nurs. I was at least 30 before someone told me the correct pronunciation. Which I can’t type correctly. But it’s something like On-yeah. Kills me fluff fluff dead that rich hillbillies are pure class.

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    1. Bee, back when I was single, living at home, had a pretty decent job and -0- bills, I was so proud to be able to buy myself a pair of Ag-nurs. They were even a lower heel. Dark green croc. leather. They were beautiful…..and the most God-awful PAINFUL shoes I have ever worn! Pinched the hell out of my toes and gave me blisters on my heels. Only wore them once or twice, and I have never bought another pair again. So you didn’t miss anything.

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  44. It’s funny – after reading everyone’s thoughts on who they thought were rich, I realize that I had a much better life as a kid than I ever thought. Now, I was very grateful for everything my Dad’s salary provided for us, and I knew we were very lucky as kids, but never thought twice about having a pool or a 2-story house or a piano. We had a piano because my sister and I took lessons and played, and a pool because my Dad liked to swim. But obviously, we had a much better life growing up than a lot of people, and for that, I’m thankful. We didn’t have designer clothes. My Mom made a lot of my clothes because I was crazy tall as a kid and back then, no one carried tall clothing for girls. So she sewed in order for me not to have flood pants and short sleeves my whole teenaged years. She was a beautiful sewer though – made me work suits and beautiful dresses and pants that fit perfectly. She made all three prom dresses and she and my Gma made my wedding gown as well. So I would guess those tailor-made clothes were better than designer!

    I still have a baby-grand piano, a 2-story house and no pool but a hottub. So I guess I’m still doing alright!

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