Coffee. Brakes.

I have to be brief today, as opposed to boxers, as I need to take my car in to get the brakes looked at and COME ON, GOD.

I’ve been freelancing for awhile now, and every time I get any money together lately, I’ve had a big expense. The freelancing was supposed to cover credit card debt, but so far it’s been used for dishwasher repair, dryer repair, car repair and okay, yes, I did get Botox. My deal with my own self was if I’m gonna work now 60 hours a week, I get to have fun with 10% of it.

Anyway, Ned, of the bad-exes-good-friend Neds, is meeting me down there, as the fix-it place is in between our houses. The place I get my oil changed also has a mechanic on duty, and last time I was there I struck up a conversation with his young self because Mrs. Robinson, and anyway he’s (a) from Michigan and (4) drives a Mini Cooper his own self, so he knows them backwards and forwards.

They’re not charging me to look at it today, but god only knows what they’ll find once they look.

I mentioned this on Facebook yesterday and here’s how it went:

Me: Need to get my brakes fixed. Brake light went on this weekend.

Everyone else: Shouldn’t it still be under warranty?

Me: The car isn’t new. And I’ve had it 8 months.

Next person, who clearly refuses to read previous comments: That car is still under warranty.

Me: The car isn’t new. And I’ve had it 8 months.

NP,WCRtRPP: Shouldn’t it still be under warranty?

Me: The car isn’t new. And I’ve had it 8 months.

Next unread-y person: Shouldn’t it still be under warranty?

OH MY GOD.

Anyway, I gotta go. It’s 10 after and I’m not dressed yet and although Ned doesn’t show impatience (see: Southern), if I show up late there and he’s already going to be late for work, I know inside he’ll be put out.

Oh, and one of you wrote me last night, and I did not read all of your email yet, but I glimpsed at it between the headache study and driving to the headache study and driving from the headache study and dropping freelance work off at Tank’s house and walking Edsel, somewhere in there I saw you emailed me, and you wanted to discuss Botox.

So if anyone else here has experience with it, please discuss in the comments. I have gone only to board certified doctors, a thing you can tell cause they have this little circle-y onion ring logo that reads “Board Certified.” And right then, I know.

Also, I get Dysport, technically. Cheaper. Seems to have the same effect, which is rendering me motionless, and yay.

Okay, I’ll talk to you later, after my car repairs and so on.

Sisyphusly,

June

P.S. Two things: They’ve already called and it’s just a problem with one of my sensors, which I should get fixed but which they say I can wait to do. (Guess what I’m opting for.) Also, when Ned pulled up to take me to work, he was on a fancy work call and I kept making faces till he laughed during said call, which I consider a large personal victory.

Also, while we’re talking about money, I looked at my credit report, which, when I get my credit score each month always reads, “Too many delinquent accounts.” This made me mad, because I’m NOT EVER delinquent, so I ordered a report.

Are you ready for this? For years–years!!–everything  has been paid on time. Once, in January of 2015, I forgot to pay my Capital One card one month, and as soon as they REMINDED me, naturally on day 31, assholes, I paid it right then. THIS is the only thing I did wrong in years, and THIS is what they keep talking about when they refer to “too many delinquent” accounts. Oh, fuck them. That is bullshit.

38 thoughts on “Coffee. Brakes.

  1. Cars are a necessary evil. They are like eating, if we didn’t have to eat, we could have so much more time and money, same way with a car. I hate you are having car problems. The dysport might be the genetic of Botox. Huge difference in the cost.

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  2. My brake warning light comes on when a thimbleful of brake fluid is needed. As soon as the fluid is topped up, no more warning light. Hope yours is that simple. (I snorted at Whitni’s warranty comment).

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  3. Your FB friends are clearly the same bunch that irked Deb on Houzz yesterday. Why don’t people READ? OHMYGOD. Not that I haven’t skimmed in the past and done the same thing but at least, AT LEAST, I then have the grace to further comment, “Oh,” which, as you know, is the universal comment for Admittance of Idiocy with Plea for Forgiveness.

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  4. I am so intrigued by botox or the cheaper version, I need to get my brows lifted I think. Just too broke right now.
    I think your plan of taking some of the extra money to treat yourself is great.

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  5. I like the sound of cheaper, yet board certified botox. I need it badly between the eyes. My husband and daughters tell me I don’t but I just look pissed off ALL the time. I’m not that angry of a person, I wish I didn’t look it.
    Glad the warranty covers the turning off of the brake warning light.

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  6. I’ve done the botox for years and recently began doing the lip lift, which is an off label use. Has anyone had a mini facelift and would you recommend this procedure.

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  7. Brake lights. Check engine light. Oil change light. ABS light. Low tire pressure light. ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may or may not work in the automobile industry and I may or may not want to smack those callers who are freaking out because MY LOW TIRE PRESSURE LIGHT IS ON!! WHY IS IT ON?? DO I NEED TO PULL OVER???? IS IT SAFE TO DRIVE?????? Or this one: MY CHECK ENGINE LIGHT IS ON!!! WHY IS IT ON????? DO I NEED TO PULL OVER????? IS IT SAFE TO DRIVE???? Or my all time favorite: MY CHANGE OIL LIGHT IS ON AND YOU SAID YOU CHANGED THE OIL, DOES THIS MEAN I NEED TO DO IT AGAIN OR DID YOU NOT CHANGE THE OIL???? I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND, WHY WOULD IT COME ON IF YOU JUST CHANGED THE OIL???? IS IT SAFE TO DRIVE????

    I swear to the Almighty God the above is completely, utterly true and I am not exaggerating at all. If you are guilty of screeching any of these over the phone without putting your thinking cap on first, stop doing that. Your service facility thanks you.

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      1. Lights aren’t meaningless, but generally, if the vehicle is NOT running hot and the oil is FULL and the vehicle is running JUST FINE except for that pesky dash light, your vehicle will make it to the service facility where the technician can put a scanner on it and diagnose. The people who pull over on the road the very first second the light comes on without asking themselves, hmmmmm, is my car running fine other than that pesky light on my dash that just came on and then proceed to call the service facility screeching and asking dumb questions like IS MY CAR SAFE (especially with oil change lights, ABS lights, tire pressure lights)…those are the people who get the Anderson Cooper eye roll. Also often times the check engine light comes on because of gas cap. Gas cap. Yes, people freak out over the check engine light and then act so confused when it’s just a gas cap code.

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        1. I think the only time you’re supposed to freak out is when the low oil light comes on. Maybe they’re confused about which oil light it is to panic over.

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        2. When my brake pedal went to the floor and no brakes, there was not one stupid light flashing. And the stupid gas cap causing the light to go off always pisses me off.

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      2. I’m no expert like Amish Annie, but I just had the mechanic teach my newly licensed teenager what’s cause for alarm on the dashboard. He said if the warning light is yellow, you are safe to drive, but you need to service the car as soon as you are able. If the light is red, then you need to pull over as soon as it is reasonably safe, like the nearest gas station.

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  8. Please forgive my minor stray.
    Has anyone decided to stop coloring their hair and cut it? If so, were you liberated or mortified?

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    1. My originally brunette sister gradually had her hair colored blonde as it turned gray. She finally stopped coloring her hair, had it cut into a short bob and is rocking the gray. She looks terrific.

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    2. I stopped coloring my hair a year and half ago. I am salt and peppery now, the salt is starting to take over towards the front. Then in the last couple of months I have cut it into a “pixie”. I used quotes because my hair is super thick and can’t lay flat if it’s too short so it isn’t MY idea of a pixie but that is what everyone calls it. That being said… I LOVE It. I don’t always like how it looks in pictures but I think that is just a matter of getting used to it being so much shorter than I have ever had it. This past weekend my daughters added some pink color and it muted the brightness of the white and looks like light purple. But it’s a semi permanent so in 6 more washes it will be gone and I can try another fun color.

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    3. I have a customer that comes in my store and she has the most beautiful grey bob as well. I am super envious of it.

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    4. I stopped coloring my hair several years ago and I love the silver highlights that are coming through. My hair is still about shoulder length. I don’t have the perfect, cute face to wear it really short or I would. My hot flashes and blow dryer don’t play nice together.

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  9. June, I’m sorry for all the expenses hitting at once. We seem to be in the same boat. Why do they all have to hit at the same time?

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  10. Ha! I just got some Dysport THIS MORNING. I used to do Botox (which I totally loved but my bank account did not) but my new doc said Dysport “is the same thing”. I liked the price and will let you know if it’s as good as Botox in 10 days.

    What I REALLY want to do is IPL Photorejuvenation but hashtag expensive. Anybody have experience with that?

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  11. Car woes are the worst.
    Yesterday I forgot to say how much I enjoyed your gal-about-town post, so I’m saying it today.
    How nice to have the permanent freelance gig with Tank! You go, girrrrl!

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  12. I need something desperately under my eyes. I would get injections every day if they found something that got rid of my deep wrinkles there. Maybe I need an eye lift, but I know I would probably end up like Kenny Rogers or Kanye’s dead mom. If any of you love your eye product, please share.

    I think about not coloring my hair, but by week 5 after I get color, my gray makes me look really old. So, no natural for me, at least until I am a grandmother or my husband is dead.

    And Amish, I ALWAYS panic first when car lights come on. That’s my move.

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    1. I was just looking at this stuff called Tight Eye this morning. Have you heard of it? There is also a Tight Neck which is what I could really use.
      Also, my grays pop out a lot faster than 5 weeks. More like 3.

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      1. My gray pops out at 2-3 weeks as well, but gets really skunky at 5 – and that’s when I force myself to spend the money.
        I have never heard of Tight Eye, but I will check it out. I hope it isn’t Preparation H with a re-label.
        I bemoan my neck on an hourly basis. I’m just waiting for the liver spots to appear on my hands. But as long as we have our health, right? RIGHT??

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  13. I fail at being girly. I panic when I walk into Sephora, I don’t understand getting Bow-tucks and I don’t get Stich-fix or Fix-Sitch. It’s not that I’m manish, I do not have a nut sack hanging from my lifted 4 X 4 truck nor do I grab my crotch every .45789 second. I just don’t get the whole I need to shoot botulism into my forehead to get rid of the huge craters which are there from me frowning at stupid people for the last 60 years of my life. I also do not get someone else picking out my clothes and sending them to me in a box. I am a huge estrogen failure.

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  14. Have to chime in on the grey hair comments. I stopped coloring in October and have never been happier with my hair. No more skunk stripe! If you need some inspiration, check out Grombre on Instagram.

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