June visits a perfect puppy. Conundrums.

Yesterday after work I schlepped out to the country, and let’s talk about how much I want to move to the country. I just love it there, even though I spend much of my time there thinking about snakes and ticks. Do you ever just go somewhere and find yourself happier? That’s me in the country. I know for others it’s fancy places such as Rome or Cakes and Turquoise or whatever that tropical place is called.

But that is not my point.

Although I’m not above schlepping to the country for no reason other than I love it, what I really went to do is look at a puppy. This very nice family, including a very pretty mom who used to work in a vet’s office but now stays home to, you know, raise her children and so on, have my life right now, in short.

But of course I won’t be short.

They have a young black Lab and a young Great Pyrenees, and the Lab is getting spade on Tuesday but NOT SOON ENOUGH, because the Lab and the Pyrenees had a night of passion that included smoking pot while listening to Yanni, and you know how that goes. We’ve all been there.

Eight weeks ago today that poor Lab (I mean, really? A Pyrenees? Okay, size queen) gave birth to seven puppies, six of whom lived, and just this week they’ve found homes for all but the last one, the runt, although with that mix, “runt” is a relative term.


So I got there, and everyone was waiting for me near the end of the driveway, because the driveway is 407 miles long. Oh, I love long gravel driveways leading to houses way out there. I just do.

Anyway, look who was waiting for me. ^^^^

Have you looked? Have you gandered? Cause I did. And before I got there, I said, “I need calm” and they said, “Oh, she’s calm. She’s a real chill puppy.” And sure enough, she galumphed about just a little and then sat down with her paws crossed. Just taking it all in.

wyy gurl has to bozzer puppee?

They call her Sweetheart (LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUUUUUU) because she has a little heart shape on her chest. The kids say she is their favorite of the litter, and they want to keep her but the parents say no, as they have four dogs already.

This is about the time I finagled my way into the rest of their property.


Goddammit, y’all. THEY HAVE MY LIFE. Even the kids were delightful, all “Yes, ma’am”ing me and being friendly but not overbearing. They were attractive, too. All children should be attractive.

So, the top picture, there’s their HORSE, who just walks around their tons of acreage; their donkey, who was a serious asshole to my puppy and they have to watch that dynamic all the damn time; the dad and the mom; a Beagle mix; and a chocolate Lab/Pit that the mom found on the street just a few months ago nearly being hit by a car. And then my puppy. The puppy. Whatever.

Hang on. Steely Dan is knocking. He literally pounds on the door now.


Anyway. The chocolate Lab is why they can’t keep my puppy. THE puppy. “Four dogs, a horse, a donkey and a cat are really enough,” said the mom, and I was all, “?”

One of those mottled cats. That’s what the cat looked like. I felt sorry for it, being alone. They should really look at getting a kitten friend for Mott the Hoople or whatever its name is.

The thing is, I know they’re going to find a home for that puppy, but godDAMMIT, she has the perfect life out there. Miles to run, a whole pack that gets along, kids to play with, someone home all day. (The woman home schools. She told me a cute story about going to the back porch at the end of her day once her husband was home, going out there to have “a beverage,” and how the puppy just came and sat with her. That is an adorable story, but I was all, I’d be having 16 beverages if I were you.)

mom and me, we hang owt. we gud frend. we shop, get pedeees, drink from lake…


going to the father/daughter dance
hullo. i be teeen mom. teeeeen mom totleee get wit grate peer.
in other shocking news, June now wants an asshole donkey


deer gods no

So, I really want to take her. I DO! I know you’re stunned. And I have the trainer guy to help us with this. She’s mellow as shit, that’s for sure, and in like a week she’ll be bigger than Edsel. But when I think of taking her from all that fun and bringing her here I feel bad for her. But she’s leaving there anyway.

I don’t really want advice. I’m just telling you my thoughts. My roiling thoughts.

Also? In summation? She’s totally a Nora.

P.S. As I finished this up, I became more aware that there was that sound on my deck from the Lottie days. Faloomp faloomp faloomp faloomp as dogs ran across the deck. But I have just the, you know, one dog.

“Wait, I just have the, you know, one dog,” I thought.

I got my glasses on and hurried to the door. Steely Dan and Edsel are chasing each other in circles across my yard. I think SD was having fun till he wasn’t. He puffed all up and


to the roof in one swoop. It was kind of something to see. Edsel has a huge smile, and I don’t know it it’s a “that was fun” smile or a “Edz almost eet Steelee” smile.

So. Yeah. SD needs a puppy. That’s my takeaway.

90 thoughts on “June visits a perfect puppy. Conundrums.

  1. Dear June,
    Please don’t stop blogging. My morning will not be complete without you. I enjoy reading what you have to say.

    We love you, beautiful June!

    Sadly, Mrs. Gumby


  2. I am very sad you are leaving but want to Thank you for the years of entertainment you have provided and how brave you have been for sharing your life so publicly.


  3. So sorry you were treated badly. I only started following you recently and have looked forward to your posts. As much as I appreciate the mommy blogs, it’s been a breath of fresh air to read your blog in comparison. I hope you’ll consider coming back and maybe having a loyal reader monitor the comments so you don’t have to deal with them.


  4. No. Nonononononoooo!!! June, please don’t go. Consider me one of your countless fans that read you faithfully but are too shy to comment. We are an army of love for you, June. I’ll so miss reading your posts — a true bright spot in my day — and feel like a good friend has left town, never to return. Thank you for letting us in all these years, for your honesty and humor. I’ll keep checking back with hope….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Here is a playlist for June and her adoring fans as we do our best to persuade her to stay!

    Please Don’t Go – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-l5FyA3pgo

    I Want You Back – https://youtu.be/zcdDqTEgDwI?t=39s

    Pressure – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I
    – the trolls try to put you under pressure but don’t let them make this your last dance

    Get Back Up Again – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD_vt-pXs5Q&vl=en
    **June, please try not to slap me too hard with your liver but I loved the depiction of the trolls, U-G-L-Y!!

    Don’t Stop Me Now – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM

    I Will Survive – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SxqJsYFL-Q

    You Better Be Good To Me – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyU7BbQSm98

    Swish Swish – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z18eMqK9BMM

    Respect – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

    How Deep Is Your Love – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpqqjU7u5Yc

    Liked by 1 person

  6. GreeninOC – Excellent!!
    51 and a half year old divorcee with 2 cats and a fondness for wine here… I’ve been reading for years, just to say I miss you June

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well crap, my computer died and I was offline for two seconds (3 weeks) and now you have left. I hope and wish good things for you.
    It sounds good to take a break, take a breath , take your time. We all love you and your sense of everything… humor, life, goodness. You make us think , you make us feel. We are better for having you to read. I really hope you are better for having us.
    I have learned recently more than ever …life is hard…but worth living…to see what tomorrow brings, to see the good we can do, to help others and to be helped by others. Give and receive.
    Healing wishes for you and yours.


  8. I just found myself checking back here with the hope that June was back . . . You are missed . . . Thanks for all the laughs over the years and please consider coming back! Your wit and perspective are needed!


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