June’s outta touch, she’s outta time

Aw, heck. I showered, fed everyone with fur, sat down here to not blog and noticed I had a call from a 1-800 number. Remember last month when some ass stole my identity, because everyone's dying to be me? I have an automatic withdrawal from my gym, and let's all giggle for a moment about … Continue reading June’s outta touch, she’s outta time

If only June would talk about doorknobs more

I noticed we weren't guilted, yesterday, about celebrating Father's Day on Facebook, as opposed to Mother's Day. On that day, for every funny, cute or whatever mention someone had of his or her mom, there'd be a person kvetching that they HATE Mother's Day, they can't STAND to see other people celebrating it because of … Continue reading If only June would talk about doorknobs more

One day God said, “Your Christmases were too great, Only Child,” and he invented the open floor plan

Several weeks ago--in fact, lemme look at the invoice...A MONTH AGO TODAY, I gave $244.82 to a dishwasher repairman who said I had to give him that much, he'd order the part, and I could pay him the remaining $87.50 when he returned. I still don't have the part, as he has not returned. He … Continue reading One day God said, “Your Christmases were too great, Only Child,” and he invented the open floor plan

June sends loving thoughts to people who hold up the line

Last night I had a ridiculous dream. (Oh, good. Someone's gonna describe their dream.) I dreamt I met a man and didn't care for him at first, so when we first were introduced, I gave him my most sarcastic of smiles. But then, somehow, I realized I really liked him, so then I had to … Continue reading June sends loving thoughts to people who hold up the line

Let me call you Megan, I’m in love with you.

This morning, I woke up at Ned's. Look at me, trying to be all compelling. You won't BELIEVE what happens next! Actually, you will. I went home and let Edsel out. That's it. On Thursday, I took ridiculous Edsel to the vet, because he'd been chewing on himself and scratching and was driving me insane, … Continue reading Let me call you Megan, I’m in love with you.

It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

I'm only writing at you because it's our day. A few years back, when I sat next to my boss, fmr., he and I got into one of our 408-minute discussions about Things That Didn't Matter and gee, I wonder why they split us up. That day, the discussion centered on what did Billy Jo … Continue reading It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

Fifty-two is the kitten year

Several times now, like two, Ned has called me out of the blue. "Oh, hi, Ned. What're you up to?" "Just standing here panicking," he'll say. Ned's got some (wait for it) decisions coming up, and if you've read this not-blog before, you'll know decision-making is not his bailiwick. (Can you imagine? If this was … Continue reading Fifty-two is the kitten year