Reasons people broke up with someone

I didn’t write today because I became obsessed with this list of ridiculous reasons people broke up. I’ve sat here all morning laughing like an idiot.

I, too, would break up with someone who thought it was “cold slaw.” So.

30 thoughts on “Reasons people broke up with someone

  1. I’ve only read the first page and OMG. Break up with these people? That’s too good for them. They should be shot at dawn.


  2. We went to dinner at a very fine restaurant. The ambiance was great. The food was great. He blew his nose in his cloth napkin. The end.


  3. I’ve been reading it as well. There is no end!

    I just went to look at those two houses and the first one has been deleted. Either Ned got it or someone else did.
    And if he tells gaylords that he will maintain the current house with repairs or whatever, he might as well buy it. He’s throwing out the whole benefit of renting.


    1. He wouldn’t be PAYING for the repairs, just arranging for them.

      Anyway, my other favorite is the woman who’d make a noise after everything she did and then giggle at herself. She’d sit down and say, “Plop! hee hee!” Fluff pillows: “Fluff! hee heee!” Oh my god I’d have bludgeoned her.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m considering doing this just to see how long it takes for someone in my family to tell me to STFU. I’m guessing by the third time, max. We’re not a patient/forgiving bunch.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. i recently stumbled upon this list. the woman who would put mustard on her french fries WITH HER HANDS. and then lick them clean. who the hell are these people?


  5. “I broke up with this guy after going out twice because he ended up having NO sense of humor & I love to laugh. After I broke up with him I started getting multiple phone calls on a daily basis from car dealerships – they would always start the conversation off with “Im sorry but I know Im going to pronounce your name wrong”…followed by names such as: Ms. Cuntarella, Ms. Bitschface & Ms. Fatasse. IM NOT KIDDING YALL. Sad thing is, I laughed SO HARD because damn, thats original!”

    I hope your Hater doesn’t get any ideas.


    1. Did you see one of the related posts listed is the Man Hands post, Hulk? Dying. I loved that day. Maybe too much. You gotta hand it to me. BAHAHAHAHA.


  6. I was dating a guy for four months and one day out of the blue while driving to a beach he brought up strip clubs. He said he liked going to them and that he would own one if he could. I was absorbing this information during the hour long drive to the beach. Then we got to the beach and it turned out that it was a topless beach. I was pretty annoyed that he brought me there and then didn’t tell me. And of course I was stuck there an hour from home. I was so done! There were other little things that led up to my decision to end things, but wanting to own a strip club was the icing on the cake.


    1. This reminds me of the guest post by someone (Sleeping Beauty, maybe?) talking about online dating, where she was seeing that guy who mentioned he was really into anal sex and was giving her books about it and urging her to read them. Loved that post!


  7. What the hell? Who messes with someone while they’re PEEING?

    “She used to sneak up on me while I’m peeing, grab hold of my junk and start aiming for me.”


  8. I broke up with someone who wore a plaid shirt with houndstooth pants. It gave me a headache to look at him. He was in the military, I think because he needed someone to tell him what to wear.


    1. My husband was like that when I first met him – hellacious taste in clothing. He is a cop. So yeah, uniform. But he lets me buy all of his clothing and never once complains about what I buy him. He wears it. I make sure there are no patterns on the bottom half so nothing is problem (they really should make Garanimals for men).


  9. The reason I broke up with my last long-term boyfriend prior to meeting my husband was because of his refusal to accept responsibility for all the fuck ups he created in his life. Nothing was ever his fault. It wasn’t his fault he spent his rent money on Grateful Dead concert tickets so why should he be evicted? Someone should have reminded him rent was due. It wasn’t his fault that he destroyed a borrowed ATV; someone should have reminded him it wasn’t his. The final straw was him sneaking some drug use while I was visiting for the weekend, despite me telling him that if he did drugs while I was there, I’d leave permanently. His explanation was that his roommate offered up the drugs and he thought it was okay to do them since I wasn’t in the room at the time.


  10. Let me sum it up – control your personal hygiene, have reasonable eating habits/table manners, and don’t be a loon and you can have a long lasting relationship! I score high on two out of three! Go me!

    That list though – so long!


  11. I was dumped because my eyebrows weren’t dark enough. I hope that wasn’t the real reason, but that was the dumbass one he gave me.


  12. I stopped dating a guy after he mansplained to me that it’s “Statue of Limitations”, not “Statute of Limitations”, and kept insisting that statute isn’t a word. He also thought the meanings of scalded and scolded were reversed and would argue with me about the definition of words endlessly. And he was wrong. And he had a Ph.D.


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