In real life, vowels are free

Even though I have allegedly set it up so that when I plug my phone into my computer–and there’s something anyone said, ever, in 1947–my photos should pop right up, they never do. They USED to. I’ve no idea what’s gone wrong.

This means that, every day, as opposed to everyday, I plug in my phone, wait expectantly because I’m incredibly sane, then get annoyed that the photos don’t pop up. So then I have to click on the icon for photos, and you want to know what annoys me?

That bounce, bounce, bounce, thing that happens at the bottom of your Mac when an icon is starting or wanting to tell you something. You’re in the MIDDLE of writing your NOT BLOG, and bounce, bounce, bounce. 

You’re Skyping your therapist. bounce, bounce, bounce.

Doing freelance work that’s due. bounce, bounce, bounce.

And every time it happens, I’m all, WHAT? What do you want? I don’t do well with interruptions.

The point is, as usual today, I plugged my phone in and no photos. Then I got the bounce, bounce, bounce, and there was great annoy, Lu annoy, in the land. And then after all that? After I plugged and kvetched and bounced and scowled and waited?

I didn’t take any pictures yesterday. After all that, there was no harvest. Yesterday was a busildy day, with me filling in for another department, and then this place I used to work for circa 1999-2002 wrote me to ask if I could look at four, yes four, things they’re printing like it’s 1999, and I said sure, so at lunch I killed myself to do that, and I worked late to help out yet another department, and then I came home and worked on that freelance project I have until 9:30.

Then I looked at my phone, and this other woman I freelance for said, “I know you’re doing that big project, but do you have time to do one for me, as well?”

And that is why I did not take any photos yesterday, I guess.

So because we’re all visual–why else are you here? No one wants to READ anymore. Read. Pfft. Soon people will forget how. Heaven knows they’ve already forgotten how to spell and punctuate. Lately I’ve been seeing this a lot: ,,,

Well,,,the thing is,,,if Tamara wasunt sutch a bitch,,,she would be a nicer persun.

Maybe I need to not be a member of those Real Housewives clubs on Facebook. But I see it on dating sites, too. Commas. They require a space after them, and no space before them, and you only need one. Should I get this as a lovely tattoo?

ANYWAY, since we’re visual and I have no current pictures, and by “current” I mean from the last 24 hours and when did we all get this way? Since I have no currrent pictures,,,I will just randomly scroll through my photos and plop some in here. Let’s go way back so they’re interesting.

100_2302.JPGHey, selfie-taker. Good selfie. This was Christmas 2012, when Ned and I schlepped all the way to that small town where Violet the puppy lived, to see her in the Christmas parade, riding her fire truck. Do you all know that she died? Violet was a black and white puppy someone placed in my car in October of 2012, while I was in PetSmart. I had no idea they had car service. Anyway, I found her a home at a fire station nearby, and this spring she got really sick and died.

Boy, June, this is fun.

IMG_0717.jpgNed’s old apartment. Boy, self, this is fun.

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Heeeeee. I have an actual Aunt Mary. I hope she understands that the moment she dies, I am STAMPEDING to the store to get this.

6a00e54f9367fb88340120a62241a8970b-800wi.jpg

Ohhhhhhhh. In case you just got here, and really, why do I say that? “Oh, hey, maybe I’ll see if there’re any blogs I should check out! Cause it’s 2009! I wonder if her pictures pop up when she plugs in her flip phone?” Anyway, in case you just got here, this was my kitten, Henry, whom I lost in the divorce and who is still the cutest little orange buttercup. This is also my dog, Tallulah, who died. Tallulah loved Henry at first sight.

Boy, June, this is fun.

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Hey, selfie-taker. Nice insane selfie. I’m behind you in the bathroom mirror! This was in Ned’s parking lot at his old apartment. I don’t know how I can tell, but I can.

IMG_1593.jpgFaithful Reader Laurie at my yard sale.

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I had either just woken up, just worked out, or just been raped by Cossacks.

IMG_2688.jpgAw. Neither of these Alexes work with me anymore.

IMG_2708.JPG

heeeeeee.

IMG_2763.JPGI remember texting this dress to Ned, asking if I should buy it, and he said no, and I think he was wrong. I look like Blondie Bumstead in this dress. Why the heck didn’t I buy it?

I’d be too fat for it now, anyway. Am currently enormous. I read Carrie Fisher autopsy report yesterday, while feeling sad for her that her autopsy report was available for me to read. As sad as the whole thing was, I noted her weight and said, Well, at least Carrie Fisher outweighed me.

IMG_2822.jpgTallulah eats. NedKitty glares.

IMG_2836.PNGIt never failed to amuse me when this happened.

IMG_3046.jpgMy ex-boyfriend Cardinal and me in 1988. Dear Mom: What made you say, Oh! Political buttons are a great way to brighten up the kitchen area! Probably the same voice that made me say, Hey, I know. A PERM. And some White Zinfandel!

IMG_3062.jpgIMG_3063.jpgPeople doing yoga at work. As you do.

IMG_3156.jpgHelping The Poet pick out new glasses. I still like the glasses we picked out for her. Her shirt reads Paris, and I’d like to point out to you that her parents fell in love in Paris. Yeah, me too.

IMG_3282.jpgOh, I still adore these shoes. I’d totally wear them today but am unpedicured. As part of my paying off my credit card mission, I’m not dyeing my hair except out of a box (sad), not getting manicures or pedicures (may cave on pedicures now that summer is here and the time is right for pedicuring in the street) and I’m not even Botoxing. It’s gonna be a sad, unattractive time.

And ask me how far I’ve gotten. This whole year, I’ve been freelancing and trying to pay off my debt (which is, like, $7,000. It’s not THAT bad, but still) and I’ve gotten it down to $1,000 less.

Goddammit.

IMG_3346.JPGMarty Martin and me at Scrabble. Because nerds? No.

IMG_3464.jpgHey, maybe this is what inspired me! My door muse. The paint is here, but it has stormed violently for like a week.

IMG_3510.jpgThis was Ned’s fortune cookie once. I’m not saying a word.

IMG_3567.jpgMagnificent Iris.

Okay, I’d better go. Let’s do one more. Here I go, scrolling. This is like Wheel of Fortune. Right there lets you know how fun it is. Buy a vowel! I never know why they waste their money on vowels. In real life, vowels are free.

IMG_0778.jpgGoddammit. Let’s do another.

IMG_2199.jpgSQUEEEEEEE! Baby Steely Dan!!!! Oh, I just wanna kiss him up.

Okay,,,bye,,,,

joon

31 thoughts on “In real life, vowels are free

  1. Oh no, sweet Violet! I’m gonna go ahead and tell myself that she went to a farm out in the country to play with other dogs. Yep, that’s the ticket.

    I haven’t had my coffee yet, but that picture of Faithful Reader Laurie made me think her arm was one gigantic hoot. Maybe it’s time for me to have my eyeballs examined. Speaking of hoots, Joon – that dress should’ve come home with you and kept in a place of honor.

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  2. if there are new people here it’s sad that they did not know ‘lu. in the blog sort of way.

    i’m sure someone has told you; however, it is a good thing (just typed think) that you have photos of SD as a little. because no one would ever believe you.

    ,,,

    why? why, people?

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  3. 1. Ned was totally, completely one hundred percent wrong about that red dress. I am retroactively furious with him for this missed dress opportunity.

    2. Please PLEASE tell me you tagged or somehow alerted Miss Doxie to that picture of Faithful Reader Laurie. Miss Doxie would need a cigarette after. (Not that she allows smoking in her new palace. Not a sentence. Not caring.)

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  4. i remember Violet being sick ,,, but I don’t remember her dying. I’m so stuck on that ,,, I can’t think of anything else to comment on.

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  5. “Baby SD” Yeah, right….he looks so catlike in today’s photo but yesterday where he looks almost the same size as Edsel? What’s in that kitten food after all?

    Lovely post, pretty June.

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  6. Awww, Violet and Lu. They’re both at Crystal’s farm, playing together. And little fuzzy baby SD. I love kittenses.

    I also thought FRLaurie’s arm was an impressive rack. How YOU doin’, FRLaurie?

    That red dress was bangin’! Ned probably said No only because he didn’t want other guys looking you up and down.

    Yes, for the benefit of the rest of us, please squirrel back a little bit of money to get a pedicure. Nothing worse than awesome shoes with snaggle-toes. That makes my eyes hurt.

    Don’t you think that bad spelling and punctuation are becoming more and more acceptable because of autocorrect and voice to text typing on our phones? People don’t correct mistakes anymore because it’s easier to just let it go. I totally get that, but at what point will we all not have a clue about proper punctuation and spelling because we’ve just accepted the mess that comes out of our phones?

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  7. Your walk down Memory Lane (am I supposed to cap that as though an actual street name?) inspires many comments, but I’ll just say sweet Lu, sweet Violet, baby Henry, baby Steely Dan, faithful reader Laurie’s creative pose and the fortune cookie that needs no words.

    Lovely post, lovely June.

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  8. I love all the random pictures from the past!
    I started doing my own pedicure because I’m broke and I am so ticklish that I really don’t enjoy the experience. So now my feet look like a toddler painted my nails. Not really a good solution either.

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    1. My suggestion is to pedicure your feet (a good pumice stone is a fantastic thing) & go in for a polish change – which is typically less than $10.

      I very rarely go in for a pedicure, since I am completely anal about how they are done. I have had a polish change in another state because of a wedding though.

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  9. I can’t believe Carrie was still doing ectasy and coke at her age. I mean no one ever asks me if I want a dime bag or whatever. Bitter till the end is what.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I wear sandals without a pedicure/nail polish all the time. Those sandals of yours are super cute. I’d wear ’em all day every day without polish. I’d stick my unpedicured toes right out there. Natural is perfectly fine. Unless you have a toenail disease.

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  11. I was looking again at the photos. Ned kitty / lamp. I have a cat lamp that looks like that except the kitty is blue and the shade is an old fiberglass spun one.

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  12. ,,, see what you started. This just grates on my last nerve, like fingernails down a blackboard. Are any of you young enough to remember blackboards? I can’t stand all the misspelling and non punctuation and the lack of cursive writing. I saw something on the internet the other day that one day cursive was going to be code writing for senior adults. I think it already is.

    I LOVED all the flashback photos. I remember when the fire house lost Violet, it was horrible. Sweet Lu, NedKitty looking like she could kill Lu, sweet little SD, Henry, the Alexes and The Poet. You should have bought that red dress, it looked great on you. So many memories with the photos.

    How much does it cost for a pedicure? Obviously, I’ve never had once, since I’m a bit scared of the germs and getting some kind of cooties on my hip replacement and having to replace it again.

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    1. This is an awesome comment…but don’t they still teach cursive in school in the USA? I know that my oldest will be learning cursive in grade three next year, just as I did when I was young (we’re in Canada).

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      1. I don’t think cursive has been taught in years. Seems like I heard they are considering teaching it again. I have several friends that home school their kids and they are being taught cursive.

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  13. I miss Henry, in a “we never get to see him today” kind of way. And Marvin. Bless Lu, she was the dog of your life.
    If I tried to do that pose at work they’d buy me a special jacket that latches in the back.

    The red dress was amazing.

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  14. Y. Many elementary school classes don’t teach cursive writing anymore because there isn’t enough time in the school day to fit it in. Students have to take so damn many standardized tests. Every moment is spent teaching the crap needed to pass the flippin’ tests. (Huh. Guess this shows why I’m a retired teacher.)

    3. Ned was wrong. You look scorching hot in the red dress!

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  15. I loved the photos of the past. I also love that vowels are FREE. Come on people, use the language! I may be one of the few who can’t seem to text in code. I still spell everything out, and many times I punctuate. If I am in a hurry I can get a little sloppy, but for the most part, I just can’t.

    I didn’t realize that Violet died. Sad to hear that.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  16. I laughed a little too hard at the “I’m the person standing behind you in the bathroom mirror” comment. I may have snorted (my phone just autorcorrected that to “aborted” which would have been laughing WAY too hard). Also, love that door- very pretty!

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  17. Gosh… that started out really sad. I am livid when I see,,,,, What does that even MEAN? And almost as much I hate……. too many dots people! An ellipsis has three and NO MORE. Gah!

    That dress is YOU. Ned was wrong.

    Also I wear naked nails lots of times. Doesn’t bother me. But I make sure my naked nails look good – buffed and filed and clean and all that. Nasty nails should stay inside all year round.

    Just remembered – I gotta go follow Steely Dan on Instagram!

    Lovely post June!

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  18. Looks like your mom had the same linoleum kitchen floor that was in my house when we first moved in here, 10 years ago. I think it dated from 1970 or thereabouts. Varying shades of hideous green, varying sizes of rectangles. It was also in the basement bathroom. Just got rid of that last remnant 5 months ago. And of course I don’t have a picture of how ugly it was. It would be helpful to look at every time I wonder why we had to spend $10K to remodel that bathroom.
    Completely worth it.

    Like

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