I don’t want to know about your stupid A-game. What game, anyway? Maybe this is my problem; I don’t know what the game is and why I should be playing it.

My love for everything rages on.

I’m writing you now with a dead gigantic cockroach near the entryway to this room, and I’ve no idea where it came from, although I hope he acted alone. I know he’s dead, but I’m still afraid to get up and get coffee in case he pulls a Jesus right when I decide to walk past.

Okay, this is insane. Ima get up and get coffee. Do you know what else I don’t want to hear about? Anyone sending me anything involving “ju-ju.” It sounds disgusting and I’d much prefer to be kept in the dark re your personal ju and also ju.

Okay, I’m going. AAAACCCKKK!

…Oh my god, I did it. Am spectacularly brave. I’m a regular Joan of Arc. Or Joanie Cunningham. One of the two. I realize the best part of life is the thinner slice, which is not true, and also that eventually I will have to clean the corpse of this horrendous insect, and WHY HAVE ALL THESE PETS if no one here is going to do that for me?

I know. Vacuum. Hose. I know. I learned that from all of you. I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, DAD. OKAY?

Anyway.

If you’ll recall from your Big Book of June Events, I just finished a freelance project, and I think it was that day or maybe the next morning that I got another one, which,

shutupimrich_zps71a53425.gif.

Anyway, I’ve been doing m’project, and also trying to not think about food, cause dieting, and doing Tracy Anderson, which MAKES ME HUNGRY, and that pretty much sums up my life as of late, which I know is riveting, and I’m SORRY that I am not riveting at the moment. These are the highs and lows you must deal with if you’re gonna follow me around like this.

I DO have plans tonight to see Young Frankenstein with The Old Poet. Yesterday when we made the plans, we were emailing the lines from that movie back and forth, and she had the nerve to write back, “If we know the movie by heart, we’re going…why?”

Whatever with her. She needs to bring her A-game.

Is that the game? Do I get it now?

However, it has been noted that I haven’t shown you any real pictures in a few days, so let’s look at what I’ve got, shall we? Also, I have no idea if I’ve lost weight yet, seeing as I’ve been on this DAMN diet three weeks and the two times I DID weigh myself I either weighed the same or more, so I’m stopping weighing myself for awhile. Fuck it. I’m not getting on there till I know it reads 98 at the most.

Anyway, here are photos as of late, and you’re welcome.

img_8975.pngJokes about Cracker Barrel and Brad’s Wife never fail to tickle me.

IMG_8978.jpgEds.

IMG_8965.JPGMy new phone has a portrait feature that’s really nice. I highly suggest being two payments from paying your phone and running into a well-known technical glitch that iPhone won’t cover fully, and then going ahead and getting the next iPhone. Tune in for more Tech Talk With Joon.

IMG_8941.JPGAm I right, though? It’s great.

IMG_8926.jpgGotta find out coworker’s diet plan. You don’t even WANNA know the shit that happens at work.

IMG_8924.jpgI put on lipstick after lunch, and when I walked back in, a hot millennial was staring at me, and I was all, Fuk yeah, cause I talk like The Poet’s dogs, and I was thinking I still had it, when in fact a gigantic slash of red ended up on my throat and I looked like a member of the Borden family.

We only ever hear about Lizzie. I wonder what her parents’ names were.

IMG_8906 2.jpgAttitudinal even when he feels snuggly.

IMG_8865 2.jpgI was at the bookstore the other day and saw my friend Tank, the Miracle Angel Baby. I imagine that woman with the straw would be quite pleased with me for including here. Flattering.

I didn’t just stalk him from afar. Eventually we talked, but I didn’t take a photo. “Why did you live in the MOMENT, Joon?”

Okay, I really gotta go. I have eight tons of work waiting for me at work, and here I am talking to you like we got nothin’ but time.

Fondly (pfft),

June

55 thoughts on “June’s love for everything continues unabashed

  1. mamaduck27 says:

    I can top June’s bug anecdote. Last night I was reading my iPad in my darkened room. I reached over and grabbed my Yeti cup and as I brought it toward my lips, one of those bugs FELL DOWN THE FRONT OF MY SHIRT. It had apparently perched on the lid. Y’all. Grabbed that sucker out of m’cleavage, flung it across the room, hunted it down and flushed it. Kept feeling that creepy crawly feeling every time I tried to go to sleep. Ugh.

    I love that lipstick color on you, June.

    Like

    1. cheech1000 says:

      Ewwww! And stink bugs are like little dinosaurish-like things, with their hard skeletal bodies. Yikes!

      Like

  2. amarabray says:

    I am full on anti-apple, but those pictures of Edsel might have won me over! Seriously. I think it is about time for me to see young Frank again.

    Like

  3. Lisa. Not THAT Lisa says:

    “He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.” Classic. Now I know what I’m watching tonight!

    Your Facebook post killed me, June. Tallulah was your one dog. You know when you have one, and she was yours.

    Like

  4. “You men are all alike, 7 or 8 quickies and you’re off to tell the boys.”

    SEDA-GIVE????

    Like

  5. yetanotherkelly says:

    He. Vas. My. BOYFRIEND!!!!

    Like

  6. Linda in CO says:

    That’s Frank-en-shteeen. Hump, what hump? And that final scene when the monster is singing “Puttin on the Ritz”. Love that movie.

    Like

  7. Florence says:

    There! I touched it. Happy?

    Like

  8. Sadie says:

    Abby someone? Abby who?
    Abby Normal.

    Like

  9. Anita says:

    Also, that photo of you is adorable. Like a mini MTM. Did you throw your hat in the air?

    Like

  10. Just Paula H&B says:

    I’m hesitant to admit this, but…..I have never seen Young Frankenstein.

    Like

    1. June says:

      GODDAMMIT PAULA

      Like

    2. Anita says:

      What is wrong with you? What about The Princess Bride? They’ll be showing that at our old theater in august.

      Like

      1. June says:

        Paula is banned till she watches Young Frankenstein.

        Like

      2. cheech1000 says:

        Princess Bride is my all-time most favorite movie. Blazing Saddles is 2nd, and YF is 3rd, for sure.

        Like

  11. Anita says:

    I want portrait mode! I almost dropped my phone in the toilet last night. I forgot it was in my back pocket and when I pulled down my shorts, PLUNK! Luckily it landed on the floor.

    Like

  12. Anita says:

    Ovaltine?

    Like

  13. Mary Ellen from Napa says:

    Put….the….candle….BACK.

    Like

    1. June says:

      Walk this way.

      Like

      1. Fay says:

        I thought you wanted to.

        Like

  14. dancer says:

    Good night, Frau Blücher. [horses whinny] brings back great memories! go one with your bad self with all the worky mcwork. the photos look great.

    Like

    1. June says:

      The horses whinnying NEVER GETS OLD. It’s the Brad’s wife of movie jokes.

      Like

  15. Koala Raspberry says:

    Love the portrait feature! Beautiful photos!

    Like

  16. Kim, who used to live in California but now lives in Arizona says:

    Your life is infinitely more interesting than mine. While I get to spend my days with 4 cats and 4 dogs, while perfect, it’s not what you’d call riveting. We take naps, we play with toys, repeat. Your life, even when it’s in a slow phase, is still fascinating.

    Like

  17. Lori says:

    “What Knockers!”
    Sometimes my chihuahua catches flies for me. Other than that, none of our animals give a lick about crawly creatures, except for our cat, who brings in dead lizards. In pieces.

    Like

    1. June says:

      WHAT KNOCKERS! heeeeeee!!!

      Like

  18. Amy the Auburn fan says:

    Oh, how I love pictures of Edz!

    Like

  19. Andrea in TN says:

    Andrew and Abby Borden were Lizzie’s dad and stepmother.

    Like

  20. Crystal says:

    I don’t think I can handle non-blurry photos from you. It’s pretty disorienting – I keep having to scroll up and make sure I’m still actually on your site.

    Like

  21. Yes, put up one of your clever links to Amazon shopping. I buy crap from there damn near every day.
    I would love to know the follow-up to the whole Brad’s Wife v Cracker Barrel.

    Like

  22. John says:

    “8/16 tons, & what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt.”
    So that’s why I never became a coal miner. Plus I’m lazy.
    Love that Portrait Setting, well done.

    Like

  23. Fay says:

    THERE wolf. There, castle.

    Like

  24. Beverly says:

    Can I send you good mojo instead of ju ju? Because I send it to people often.

    Like

  25. Karen says:

    A bookstore wirh wine???? Wish we had that here!

    Edz is lovely in the picture.

    Like

  26. PJ says:

    Pfft your own rich self.

    Like

  27. MissusB says:

    Young Frankenstein is the best movie ever.
    Your photos of Edsel are just wonderful. I long to hug his big furry neck. And I also laughed out loud at the Jesus like cockroach.

    Like

  28. Shannon says:

    Edsel is so photogenic! Lovely post and photos, pretty June! Hoping my Amazon contribution paid off yesterday towards the phone. Lousy hurricane preparedness for us, pocket change for you?

    Like

    1. June says:

      I keep forgetting to mention Amazon. I do not being my A-game. Also, I keep forgetting to see how much money I’m making on Amazon. It’s like on election night when George McGovern slept on the plane.

      Like

      1. yetanotherkelly says:

        There have been numerous occasions where I’ve gone to buy something on Amazon but right before I click the Place Order button, I remember to exit out and scream over to your blebsite and use Juneazon instead.

        Liked by 1 person

  29. Tee says:

    Pull a Jesus! TANK! So glad he is well. And you look LOVELY in that photo.

    Like

  30. Jeanie says:

    Oh, those pictures of Edsel are works of art. Truly, they’re spectacular!

    Like

  31. Sadie says:

    These pictures are incredible! Like I asked on a previous post, who are you and what have you done with June?

    Whatever SadieDog was dreaming last night, it made her bark in her sleep. A lot of barking. Wonder if she was dreaming of a giant cockroach?

    Like

  32. Beth says:

    When you run out of pets that will let you blind them with your new phone…how about a front porch/ door pic or pics and new furniture, new paint?
    Didn’t you and Mother get your decorating groove on while she was there?
    Also, how is it that everywhere you go you see someone you know?
    Edsel luffs you. Bug disposal just isn’t in his job description

    Like

    1. June says:

      The one where Beth doesn’t register June’s busy state. BUSY STATE, BETH!

      Like

      1. Beth says:

        In case one day you don’t know what to write about…put it on your list of topics to discuss some day.
        So, there really are 51 states.. adding June’s state of BUSY.

        Like

        1. June says:

          Didn’t I used to give you guys a list of things for me to remember? I should go back to that.

          Like

          1. Beth says:

            I think you kept a list on your phone.

            Like

  33. Cheech says:

    In case he pulls a Jesus! Dead. Just like Jesus was.

    I love that snuggle picture with Edz. He might be an ass at times, but he has such a sweet face. And those earses! And SD. Yes, gray (that just looks wrong to me – I want to put grey. DAMMIT!) cats do have a 24/7/365 attitudinal and annoyed face. That’s because they’re bad (but dearly loved)

    Also, I know you didn’t really want to know, but Lizzie Borden’s parents were Andrew Jackson and Abby (who was actually her stepmother. Her bio mother died – did she kill her too?). You’re welcome. I only know that because I just recently watched a show on the murders.

    Like

    1. Gray and grey are both correct, so go ahead and put grey! Gray tends to be the spelling in the US and grey tends to be the spelling in the UK(I don’t know about other countries). However, I’m American and I thought it was only supposed to be grey until a few years ago, which happens to be about the time people started really noticing my grey/gray hair.

      Like

      1. cheech1000 says:

        Thanks! Although June and JP lectured me on using gray, so I live in fear of using the wrong spelling now.

        Like

  34. LaUral says:

    Oooooooo! I DO love that portrait feature – the photos of Edz are amazing!

    I also frequently wonder what the hell with my animals if they aren’t willing to remove the dead (or living) bugs before I see them. My cats, fmr., were fantastic at that. The ones now, not so much.

    Cats today, man…

    Like

  35. Gretchen says:

    Now I want a new phone with a better camera. I also want to post a photo of the tape outline of a dead body/crime scene I put in my boss’s office (boss’? office of my boss?) when she was gone for a week back when I was in student conduct but I can’t.

    Like

  36. Stacey says:

    Tortie, ffs autocorrect

    Like

  37. Stacey says:

    Lovely post June. My Torrie cat loves to roll in the sun, which usually results in me singing “roll, roll, roll in the hay” to her. Neighborhood thinks I’m nuts.

    Like

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