I don’t want to know about your stupid A-game. What game, anyway? Maybe this is my problem; I don’t know what the game is and why I should be playing it.
My love for everything rages on.
I’m writing you now with a dead gigantic cockroach near the entryway to this room, and I’ve no idea where it came from, although I hope he acted alone. I know he’s dead, but I’m still afraid to get up and get coffee in case he pulls a Jesus right when I decide to walk past.
Okay, this is insane. Ima get up and get coffee. Do you know what else I don’t want to hear about? Anyone sending me anything involving “ju-ju.” It sounds disgusting and I’d much prefer to be kept in the dark re your personal ju and also ju.
Okay, I’m going. AAAACCCKKK!
…Oh my god, I did it. Am spectacularly brave. I’m a regular Joan of Arc. Or Joanie Cunningham. One of the two. I realize the best part of life is the thinner slice, which is not true, and also that eventually I will have to clean the corpse of this horrendous insect, and WHY HAVE ALL THESE PETS if no one here is going to do that for me?
I know. Vacuum. Hose. I know. I learned that from all of you. I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, DAD. OKAY?
If you’ll recall from your Big Book of June Events, I just finished a freelance project, and I think it was that day or maybe the next morning that I got another one, which,
Anyway, I’ve been doing m’project, and also trying to not think about food, cause dieting, and doing Tracy Anderson, which MAKES ME HUNGRY, and that pretty much sums up my life as of late, which I know is riveting, and I’m SORRY that I am not riveting at the moment. These are the highs and lows you must deal with if you’re gonna follow me around like this.
I DO have plans tonight to see Young Frankenstein with The Old Poet. Yesterday when we made the plans, we were emailing the lines from that movie back and forth, and she had the nerve to write back, “If we know the movie by heart, we’re going…why?”
Whatever with her. She needs to bring her A-game.
Is that the game? Do I get it now?
However, it has been noted that I haven’t shown you any real pictures in a few days, so let’s look at what I’ve got, shall we? Also, I have no idea if I’ve lost weight yet, seeing as I’ve been on this DAMN diet three weeks and the two times I DID weigh myself I either weighed the same or more, so I’m stopping weighing myself for awhile. Fuck it. I’m not getting on there till I know it reads 98 at the most.
Anyway, here are photos as of late, and you’re welcome.
Jokes about Cracker Barrel and Brad’s Wife never fail to tickle me.
My new phone has a portrait feature that’s really nice. I highly suggest being two payments from paying your phone and running into a well-known technical glitch that iPhone won’t cover fully, and then going ahead and getting the next iPhone. Tune in for more Tech Talk With Joon.
Am I right, though? It’s great.
Gotta find out coworker’s diet plan. You don’t even WANNA know the shit that happens at work.
I put on lipstick after lunch, and when I walked back in, a hot millennial was staring at me, and I was all, Fuk yeah, cause I talk like The Poet’s dogs, and I was thinking I still had it, when in fact a gigantic slash of red ended up on my throat and I looked like a member of the Borden family.
We only ever hear about Lizzie. I wonder what her parents’ names were.
Attitudinal even when he feels snuggly.
I was at the bookstore the other day and saw my friend Tank, the Miracle Angel Baby. I imagine that woman with the straw would be quite pleased with me for including here. Flattering.
I didn’t just stalk him from afar. Eventually we talked, but I didn’t take a photo. “Why did you live in the MOMENT, Joon?”
Okay, I really gotta go. I have eight tons of work waiting for me at work, and here I am talking to you like we got nothin’ but time.