Tech Talk with June

You don’t have to put in an email address to leave me a comment. I wanted to say that first thing, before I got to all the scintillating news of my day.

I set it up that way from the beginning. Just because the line reads “email” doesn’t mean you have to obey it. And if you have other leaving-a-comment trouble, let me know and I can ask our resident guru how to fix your shit.

Someone who reads my WEBSITE works at WordPress. So try the no-email thing if you want to leave a comment. Or if you can’t remember your user name, try your email address instead, as she said:

I’d suggest is signing in with their email address rather than the username (because those are equivalent in our system and [you] have the username wrong).

So that’s Tech Talk With June for today.

You know what sucks, though? Is we used to make our user names so fun. Remember that? We’d expand and contract our user names. Now I guess they have to stay static. WHAT ABOUT OUR CREATIVITY?

For those of you who’ve been around awhile, what was your favorite day in the comments? I liked the day we changed the lyrics to I Got You Babe, which in retrospect wasn’t that nice of us because it was as a result of Chaz transitioning.

I got you to wear my ring

I also got a brand new thing

Mature. That’s us.

I also liked the day I asked you if you could recall all the things that’ve annoyed me through the years and you thought of all sorts of stuff I’d forgotten, since my annoyance is my hobby. The sugar packet. When a coworker was manically shaking her sugar packet and I got annoyed because, okay, you shake it once or twice to get it down there, but IT’S ALL SUGAR. YOU’RE NOT MIXING IT.


Also, “knock, knock!” when someone approaches your non-door workspace. Oh, knock this.

IMG_9621.JPGSpeaking of commentors, Faithful Reader Kris made me this afghan! Isn’t it lovely? Isn’t it won-der-ful? And of COURSE I put it away so SD won’t eat it. I get my blankets out and put them back now, like Ned used to.

That used to irk me, as well. I’d be at his apartment back when I liked him, and we’d be watching a movie or something, and I remember the first time I was all, “Do you have a throw or something?”

It was like I asked if he had a box of butterfly-scented douche. “A WHAT?” But then he remembered that he did, in fact, have one that he got at Christmas. He went up into the hall closet, way on a shelf, and got it down for me.

Next time we were watching a movie or whatever, I asked for the throw again. There he went, back to the high reaches of his closet. His sherpa went with him. He had oxygen just in case.

The third time I asked for the throw, I finally snapped. You know how I am.

“Why not just keep it on the couch?”

He was aghast. “Cat fur!” he said.

Oh my god, ONE MEASLY CAT. Who, by the way, never sat on the couch. She’d go up there and nap with him on the rare weekend afternoon that Ned would nap. That was her one foray onto the couch, unless she lounged there all day while he was at work, ordering Chinese and watching Judge Judy.

My point is, it just seemed so inconvenient to have to clamor on up to the highest reaches of the hall closet each time I needed a throw, and let’s face it: women need throws. Men never say, Oh, I’m chilly. Guess I’ll get out a nice throw.

Why is that? When Ned took his rare afternoon naps (they only came after he’d swept the whole house, gone to the gym, ridden his bike, wrestled a salad and ripped apart a deck with his teeth) he just….slept there with no throw or anything. No way could I get to sleep all naked and exposed like that.

I’ve no idea why I started talking about stupid Ned so much today. I’ve begun to slowly transition into the “What the hell was I thinking” phase, so that’s a plus.

Fay just threw one of those astronaut parades, with all the ticker tape.

Did I have a point re that throw story?

…YES! I did! I wanted to say that now my throws are in the spare-bedroom closet, the closet that actually has a real door as opposed to my annoying swingy-door saloon lookin’ for the man who shot my pa closet door in my real bedroom. So when fall comes, Ima have to get up and take m’trail mix all the way back to the spare-bedroom closet and open that door and send a letter home saying Wait for me, darlin’ and come back in with a throw, just like Ned.

But because cat teeth, not cat fur.

steeelee hang with talu

Speaking of ridic Steely Dan, I took a break from this riveting post and got up to put gel in my hair. There’s something about Junie. As I was in the bathroom, I saw a dark figure flying through the air, and instead of worrying about dark spirits, I knew it was my dark, spirited cat.

Did you ever see the large black and white photo before, in my hallway? That’s this house, back in the ’50s, with the original kid who lived here. Cool, right?

I’d better dry my damn hair and get to work. I had ANOTHER headache last night, and this is bullshit, man. It’s interfering with my sex life.




71 thoughts on “Tech Talk with June

  1. Whyyyyyyy can’t I remember Amish porn day here????? You’d think that would be a no-brainer.

    You’re so pretty, Joob!


  2. Jeezuz Gott, who has time to read all the comments too?!! I haven’t even had a paying job since September and I can’t keep up with you guys! Obviously I must work a lot harder at it … -Kate


  3. Test comment.

    Also I laughed so hard through this post it made my eyes squeeze shut and I had to pause reading!


  4. Got two car seats off of amazon tonight, remembered just in time to go through your link!

    I love that you have a picture of your house with the original kid in front of it!


  5. I love that photo of your house, and I love that you have it framed and hanging up. So. Cool. Steely Dan needs to just stop the chewing. It is not fair to keep that beautiful afghan hidden in a closet (with a real door). What a lovely gift! I miss crocheting and knitting. Some day, I will be able to do it again.

    It’s hard choose a favorite day of comments. I love it when you all start on a pun or something, and everyone keeps it going. I also loved the “pass the biscuits please” post, on the third of June. Poor Billy Joe. And I love all of the ones since the first one as well. I love that it is our song.

    I also love this post.

    Lovely post, lovely June!


  6. I’m multi-tasking & out of the corner of my eye, all I can see is Noodle, a small cat, bobbing up & down to see if the coast is clear so that a Noodlebug can đź’Ł the bed. She’s definitely a rebel who has been determined to decimate the pigeon population of Reading, but in four years has only managed to drag an already gimpy bird half way across the garden, where she realised it was easier to come & yell at us to come look. My housemate’s ex had to finish it off with a brick, as we suddenly became subservient girls who couldn’t possibly do something as manly as pigecide. The only time the stunted psychopathic cat is soppy, is when there is a furry blanket around, so she will accept scruffles while planning our deaths. We don’t know where the dick of an ex is these days, so she may have one human death under her jangling collar already. Nice blebsite Joon.


  7. My favorite comment day was the one re: your cousin marrying an Indian man (as in Gandhi’s India) and comments digressed into total political incorrectness.


    1. Oh my god, when Hulk and I went together to that wedding, and we said the next post was going to be titled, Unwrapping the turban and the sari.


  8. I have 5 hairy cats and 1 Pitty pit pit of a dog. They all shed. The damn cats leave vomitted up furballs everywhere in addition to regular loose hair. Hair is an issue at Chez Lisa Pie.


  9. Hair, hair everywhere! I have 3 long haired cats, and I am amazed at the clumps all around the house. I know it’s time to run the sweeper when the hair tumbleweeds start rolling down the hallways upstairs. It’s a wonder they’re all not bald by now, with the amount of hair they lose.


  10. i read all these comments about hair. i am amazed how much cat hair stays in my place. i do not have a dryer and 98% of the time i let me clothes air dry. so there’s nothing taking out the lint or hair. and i have hard wood floors. no carpet to hide hair. just lots of ding dang hair.


  11. Maybe Anita means the photo of your house. Now I want to find photos of the house where I grew up and send them to the people who live there now, whoever they are. The people who bought my aunt’s home, the house my grandfather built when Dad was a little boy, loved the photos of the place back in the early 1920s. In the foyer of my great grandparents’ house (now cut up into apartments) is a photo of the house with either a horse and buggy or early automobile out front.


  12. Yes to all the blankies!
    And there have been too many great comment days to choose. I refuse to Sophie’s Choice amongst them.


    1. I agree with the difficulty of choosing a favorite comment day among the many funny ones and I couldn’t possibly choose just one. On one particularly funny day, I asked my sister who reads your not-blog if she also read the comments. When she replied in the negative and I told her what she was missing, she became an enthusiastic comment reader.

      And count me among the FRs who would be found with a throw while watching TV in the evenings. A FR whose throw is so cozy that she may or may not fall asleep while watching that TV in the evenings

      I love the beautiful afghan Kris made for you. What a thoughtful gift.


  13. All my throws now live in the closets. My psycho-cat developed an unnatural romantic attraction to them and would hump them around the room. I even bought him a small fleece-like dog toy to distract him, but his heart belonged to my throws.
    My favorite was also when Hulk married his mother. Poor guy put up with a lot of abuse that day.


  14. We have a blanket problem here. I have a huge basket filled to overflowing with them. We have extras tucked into closets. My TV cabinet in my bedroom is packed with them. I have bags of them in the basement. Yet, every year, on each of the kids’ Christmas list is a new blanket.

    My daughter moved to college yesterday. She took 4 blankets with her, not including her comforter.


  15. well…i commented earlier from my phone and i don’t see it here. pfffffttt. anyway, i was just wanting to say (because my opinion is so important) that this is a most excellent post. you are so witty and good with the words.

    it actually took me quite awhile to start reading comments on your posts. even when you would say that the comments were the best part of your blog, i truly just liked reading what you wrote without all the peanut gallery input. then, one day, i succumbed. and there have indeed been many a great comment day.


    1. oh, and even being hot as hell here all the time, i do love me the blankets and throws.


  16. My 12-year-old daughter has a blanket addiction. Her eyes glaze over whenever she sees a fuzzy blanket at the store. I’m planning an intervention for her this winter because the amount of blankets on her bed is getting out of hand. But she comes by it naturally because the rest of us love a good blanket snuggle as well.


  17. I like having throws BECAUSE of pet hair. That way I can wash just the throw. And even in the summer I have a quilt because first thing in the morning that leather sofa is mighty chilly to rest your back on.

    I love that photo! Where did you get it?


    1. Here’s my problem. Yeah, I just have the one. I can’t tell, when these comments come to me as email, if you are responding to me or to someone else here. What photo?


  18. So, so, SOOOO many favorite days. My top three, in descending order are:
    Hulk Marries His Mom
    Amish Porn
    Chilean Miners Day (the one where Paula mentioned them finding the Natalee Holloway. I still laugh until I cry over that one).

    Tech Talk with June: I can never like or reply to any comment because it wants me to sign in with my email and user name. I have clicked the “forget user name” and it doesn’t seem to re-set. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I loved the day you and your readers rewrote I Got You Babe. I was stuck at my job at the First Hateful Bank of Assholes and couldn’t participate. Am still bitter. That was a great comment day. I also remember a fun comment day with Amish references. Maybe Amish sex references?

    And again, to shock exactly no one: I have throws in each appropriate room*, color-coordinated to both the decor and the cats (actually my cats match my decor. oh, go roll your own eyes), folded neatly. Well, folded neatly until some savage uses them, then they’re (the throws, not the savages) in a heap until I refold and drape them aesthetically.

    *Obv, no throws in the kitchen or bathroom. Or dining room.


      1. But see they call them THROWS. So you can just THROW them, artfully, draped over, say, the back of a couch, or the arm of a recliner. See?

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I FOUND him in time, thank God!! I was upset too, thinking what could have happened. What if I had left the house? I can’t think about it; it upsets me.


  20. There have been so many good ones, but the one I remember most is when you wrote about Jim and so many people sent him good wishes. I printed all those and gave them to him.


  21. Your new throw is beautiful. Is Kris taking orders? Migraines are running rampant this week. I had one yesterday and, damn if it’s not still with me today.


  22. There are only two of us in my household but currently there are four throws in one big basket by my chair, then in another small basket on the coffee table shelf there are two more throws that are cat hair free, and there is another throw in the cat’s chair. That’s only the throw count in the den. I don’t have an accurate count of the throws up stairs. We have to have a throw to nap, even in the summer, just turn down the A/C.

    I wouldn’t say my favorite day was the secrets day, but it was certainly the most revealing day here at the Pie/Big Book.


  23. My favorite day was Books We Would Never Write day. We all submitted titles of books that were the exact opposite of something we would do or enjoy. They were absolutely hysterical!!


    1. OH MY GOD THAT DAY WAS STELLAR. I need to stop screaming. I’m like my closeted high school best friend right now. WHITNEY HOUSTON OH MY GOD! I LIKE GIRLS! OF COURSE I DO!


      1. I tired to find that post to link here, but couldn’t. Any vague idea of when you wrote that one?


          1. There’s a Tech Question for your WordPress hook up – is there a search feature on this here blo-site?


  24. I always have a throw on me when I am sitting around at home. Who can nap without one? Crazy.

    My favorite comment day was when people signed in anonymously and told their secrets. My favorite one was a mom who would send her kids off to school and then listed to hard-core rap all day. I also wonder about the woman who admitted that she has been having an extra-marital affair for years and she’s not sorry.


    1. Oh my god, SECRET DAY. And remember the day we all talked about how often we had sex (June’s 2017 answer–NEVER) and poor BettyDH told us every day and we all pounced on her like jackals? Poor BettyDH. Who has had sex 496 times more than me this year.


  25. PJ who daily misses those fabulous intros (I still wonder daily what kind of dancer, dancer is that day) and occasionally still adds a tag but nobody else does, sigh, and we can remedy that you know, folks. says:

    I miss the funny names. Why did y’all stop? Why?

    Liked by 2 people

  26. My throws in the family room are kind of cat magnets. I have a fluffy, cottony one that someone gave me for Christmas, and as soon as I put it over the back of the loveseat, some furry body is on it, sleeping. Oh well, they don’t chew it (SD!) and I just throw the throw (hence the name) in the washer every other week or so to get the hair off it. I have less of a problem with cat hair than the teenage funk that gets in it when the shower-challenged teenage boy naps with it wrapped around him. If your smell is so funky that it transfers to a blanket and stays there, maybe you might want to shower more often than, say, once a month? You pig!


  27. My favorite column and comments, call and response, was the one about your most horrible Valentine’s Day. I was laughing so hard I was crying and then another even more horrible one would come through and I would laugh harder. Then people started saying this was the most depressing thing they had ever read. And then commenters started saying they were not going to read any more because they were too sad. And finally there I sat in the dark alone limp with laughter. Right then I knew.


  28. “the closet that actually has a real door as opposed to my annoying swingy-door saloon lookin’ for the man who shot my Pa”… Sentences like this are what will eventually get me fired from my job. I’ve been here so long that I can quote insurance benefits while reading your journal. But, sentences like the above make me spit out my Diet Coke with laughter and then I have to put the member on hold while I collect myself. I also cannot get through you slamming down your shot glass without laughing so perhaps I should wait until I am home to enjoy reading about your life!!


  29. You know, sometimes, for me, having sex will relieve a headache.

    Maybe tell Ned that it’d be good for your health.


  30. I cannot imagine watching TV or taking a nap without a blanket! My heated throw is the best thing ever. You could try putting your throws in one of those extra large zip lock bags so you don’t have to go all the way to the top of Mt Everest to get them. (They have them at the Dollar Tree here) We have an ottoman with storage in our living room for all our blankets.


  31. The great thing about having multiple pets is that we can blame any strange noises on them, not spooks. There has been a rsre time or two when all three were with me and then my old pal denial kicked right in.


  32. This tech talk moment just changed my life. Thank you for that June.

    We are a blanket family. If there are five of us watching a movie, I better have five throws to throw over our collective selves. No one shares. And everyone has their favorite. I have a large basket in the living room to store all those throws – when they actually get folded, which is rare.

    And nap without a blanket? The heathen!


    1. I have a basket of blankets also. We each have our special blanket, my husband’s is the big blue velvety velour/fleece/whatever it is blanket and mine is the small baby blanket afghan that my MIL crocheted when Thing 2 was born. So technically, it’s Thing 2’s baby blanket but I absconded with it. My offspring and any guests get whatever is left in the basket.


    2. We have a giant blanket holder that used to be a tin tub and is now painted yellow and holds all the blankets. And each year at Christmas we’re getting each other new blankets for television and couch sitting and such. I can’t relate to non blanket people. One friend said the only blanket he has was on his bed and I was all “whaaaat????”


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