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Tryin’-a chill

Yesterday, after I wrote you about what happened with Edsel, I gave myself a big headache, and most of my big-list plans went undone. I DID get all my laundry washed and dried, even the hand-washables, which was no small feat.

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EMPTY!!! Like my soul.

There’s Fang and Blu, making a cameo.

I’ve also, these days off, read two books. You know how I am with the reading and all. Or maybe you don’t. Just recently, someone asked me if I read, and I said, “Oh my god, every day.” I read so much that I don’t even mention it, I think.

Also, I can never remember what I’ve just read, and I CERTAINLY in a million years could not tell you the author. I can never understand people who will be all, “After I read Stabbing a Blue Jay by Horace Mendenbottom, I…”

Jesus, really? How do you know the author? I also never ever know the director of any movie. Who cares?

Anyway, since Sunday, I’ve read a book called (oh, god. See? Blank.) um. Called… OH! Mystic Summer. By…someone. Probably a chick. The main character, our protagonist, as it were, is supposed to be in her 20s and it is so obvious the writer was not in her 20s. Our beloved 27-year-old spoke like an age-45 scrapbooker through the whole thing. “I just hope those children have food in their tummies.” Yeah, hey, millennial.

Anyway, even though I predicted the entire plot by page 20, I read the whole thing because I was interested, and that’s usually enough for me.

Then I picked up The Hypnotist’s Love Story by Mygoulash Hexaglass and I.Was.Riveted. I did NOT guess the whole plot. Just some of it.

Now I have a third book waiting for me but it’s still in the bag, with the cat.

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My yesterday. Just me, my robe, a book and old Norman Bates, there.

I also worked on my freelance stuff and oh! I called the vet. And animal control. On myself.

Sadly, it’s gotten to the point where I know the people at animal control. It’s two women of color who will be pleasant or horrible to you, depending on what you throw at them. Then the world’s nicest guy, the same guy who came over to get that bird years ago.

I told them what happened Monday night, and I asked what would happen to my dog if the people whose dog got attacked called them. They said really, nothing. “It was an accident. Your dog didn’t jump your fence and run down the street attacking or anything.” Which, oh god. Do I need a taller fence? Also, wouldn’t a dog jumping the fence also be an accident?

I also called my vet, because as much as I enjoyed the unsolicited “I had a dog once, He was perfect. Here’s what I would do” advice, I thought, oh, maybe an expert would be good to talk to.

I like my vet. We decided to put Edsel on yet another antidepressant, and he recommended a good trainer not even remotely near me who nevertheless comes to Greensboro a few days a week.

I spoke to her, the trainer, at length. She said Edsel feels like he has to be in control now that Lu is gone, which we all knew, and the secret is to let him know that in fact I am the one in control. Which, hah.

She also said to get a Martingale collar and a Gentle Leader. He already has a Gentle Leader. So.

She’ll be here September 1. She’ll be here for TWO HOURS on September 1. Oy.

Today I’m really, truly going to Chapel Hill to return the coolers they gave me from the headache study I was in last year. They’re huge, and they’ve been taking up a large portion of my side room all this time. I can totally see myself heading off to Chapel Hill without the coolers. That would be so something I would do.

IMG_9673.JPGLook how calm and happy I look here. This was pre-attack. Is why.

Okay, I’m off. At 4:00 today, I have to have yet another suspicious mole removed. It’s been hiding behind a newspaper and no one has ever seen it around here before.

Further reports as developments warrant.

Malignantly,

June

50 thoughts on “Mygoulash Hexaglass

  1. trish says:

    Did anyone else notice the “face” on the tree in that first picture?

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    1. June says:

      Honey, I talked about the tree face this very week. Love, Jooon

      >

      Like

      1. trish says:

        Whoops! Sorry – I’ve been out of the loop for a few days and must a couple of posts.

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        1. June says:

          It happens, man. This whirlwind life of mine, you get off the train for a couple days, you miss the world.

          >

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  2. cheech1000 says:

    Sadly, I don’t read now as much as I did when I was younger. I feel like I need to get into a series. Now that there are kids in my house, they seem to suck up any extra time that I have.

    I just have asshole cats so no dog advice. No cat advice either. They’re assholes, so I’m thinking that what I’m doing is not good. I hope the trainer works out for you and Edz, so you’re not afraid to take him out among other pups.

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  3. Bette says:

    LOL I am usually too embarrassed to admit… that I can never remember the author… and also when someone asks… who is your favorite author… I look at them blankly and say… well, nothing. And then I feel like they are all looking at me thinking… she is either a ditz or has early onset dementia… and I start to worry and do more brain games… then oh shit… June makes it feel ok! Yay. Thanks darlin!

    Like

  4. Texas Kari says:

    Oohhh everyone should consider reading The Girl You Left Behind by Jojo Moyes. In a nutshell, it is about the provenance of a painting from WWI to the present time, but of course it’s more complicated than that. It’s so good. It’s one of the only books we’ve read in my book club that everyone liked!

    Like

  5. Texas Kari says:

    Yay for books. I’ve already written down some titles from everyone’s suggestions. Thanks!
    I recently read If I Forget You by Thomas Greene and really liked it. Plus, it’s not very long – perfect for busy people! Am now about to read Where Did You Go, Bernadette for book club. I’ve heard mixed reviews.
    Spending a weekday morning on the sofa reading in the sunlight is about the best thing ever. I’m glad you got to do it, June.

    Like

    1. LaUral, who is mentally laying a cool cloth on your fevered brow, says:

      I read Bernadette and liked it overall. Just finished The Girl Before and read the whole thing in one sitting. Kept thinking I would go to bed after the next chapter and never did. Oops.

      Like

  6. Joan in NV says:

    Went back to the bird story. Am now dead on the floor. Also, too? How on earth do you take such great selfies? I always end up looking haggish, wrinkly, and/or like Mussolini with the whole looking up the nose thing. You, on the other hand, ALWAYS look lovely. Except maybe not after your Big Headed What’s Her Name veedeo workouts. And then there’s books. Love ’em. Paper, digital, doesn’t matter. I currently have three going.

    Like

    1. Linda in CO says:

      How in the world can you have three going at once? I am such a sequential reader. One at a time, and they have to be read in order if it is a series.
      Lovely post, pretty June. Love that you’re back to you natural blonde.

      Like

      1. Just Paula H&B says:

        Wait. There are people who don’t read a series in order? I feel faint.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I get the smelling salts after you. That thought gives me the heebie jeebies.

          Like

  7. Kristi says:

    The Hypnotist’s Love Story was so good! I have loved all books by that author. I bet we like similar kinds of books so I will recommend The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton. Are you on Goodreads? You know, in your spare time?

    Like

    1. Texas Kari says:

      I read The Secret Keeper in my book club and liked it. It prompted lots of discussion!

      Like

  8. Debra says:

    Have you ever listened to “What Should I Read Next? Podcast? Very professionally done and she gives recommendations of books based on the reading likes and dislikes of the person she is interviewing. I’ve gotten loads of good book recommendations from her. Also you can apply to be her guest on her show!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mel says:

    Today is my birthday and I just love scrolling through all the comments and seeing August 23rd over and over again. But what I really came here to say is that the story about the bird and the guy was absolutely the funniest thing I’ve ever read on your blog/not-blog.

    Like

    1. Sadie says:

      Happy birthday, Mel. Now you can see another comment dated August 23, 2017.

      Like

    2. Jeanie says:

      Happy birthday, Mel. Hope it’s a good one!

      Like

    3. cheech1000 says:

      Happy Birthday Mel I hope that you have a wonderful day.

      Like

  10. Sadie says:

    Did anyone else look at the picture of the doors under the title and try to figure out what a Mygoulash Hexaglass was? Maybe it was just me.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. PSS aka Soul Sister says:

    Love that photo of you, June. You look very relaxed.
    Good luck with Eds and the trainer.

    Koala Rasberry (?) mentioned library and just reminded me that I have books 3 weeks overdue. Egads, the fees.

    I’m hosting my book club’s next meeting. Which means I picked our current book. Which means I must finish it and find questions for discussion. But, all I’m doing lately is sitting around watching my daughter prepare to move out for college and waiting for her to come into the room I am in and grace me with her presence. I am quite literally unable to do much else. Work. Housework. Paperwork. Nothing is getting done.

    Like

    1. Texas Kari says:

      PSS this is going to be me one year from now. Hold me.

      Like

  12. Tee says:

    Great photo of you. I didn’t mention this yesterday because of the situation with Edsel, but you find the greatest glasses that look absolutely perfect on you. Where do you find them? Good decision for a trainer to show Edz who is boss.

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    1. June says:

      Those were just reading glasses, but thanks, Tee!

      >

      Like

  13. yetanotherkelly says:

    I have days when all I want to do is plop on the sofa and read a book and other days where all I want to do is stare at my phone and play the gazillion variations of Candy Crush. Some days all I’m in the mood for is re-reading Nancy Drew or the Little House series or shallow Chick-Lit, other days I’m reading Deep and Profound literature or whatever is on the “New for You!” shelf at my local Barnes and Noble or whatever Amazon suggests in their “Inspired by your browsing and/or wish list” selections.

    Poor Edsel. He just has no clue how to be a good Alpha and is going about it in the entirely wrong way. He probably would be completely happy hanging with his Pussy Posse and loving on Blu instead of thinking he has to establish the wrong kind of dominance over every dog he encounters on his walks.

    Like

  14. monkleton says:

    I was evangelical about this book

    I did not remember who it was by, as I don’t have room in my head for that many letters. A friend read it on my recommendation, and loved it so much, she bought a copy for her mum for Christmas. Her mum HATED it. This is generally why I hate saying I love a book, as I’m too sappy to have people knock books. Anything else, meh, but books. I’m ex libris. It’s like knocking one of my kids.

    It all sounds hopeful for Edz & his bipolar issues. If only you could persuade all neighbouring dogs to wear cat masks to fool him.

    Like

    1. monkleton says:

      Obviously, if you like the above book, go through June’s Amazon, not the above link!

      Like

  15. Queen Marcy says:

    I’m surprised you aren’t blind, reading so many books, your reading/proofreading job, your extra projects?!?!

    Like

  16. Koala Raspberry says:

    I was hoping another med could help Edsel. I’m glad that is possible. If I read a book a month these days I am proud of myself. It needs to be something by a favorite author to get me excited. Too much Facebook and the DVR. I would return my five or six allowed books before they were due to the library when I was young and single.

    Like

  17. Gretchen says:

    I like the way that trainer sounds because I’ve been biting my tongue to not say the same thing, more or less. I’m not a trainer. We had a male dog (Tad) once who was in love with the bossy female we had (Lily) when we got him. Lily died before Tad, and suddenly Tad had to be the dog in charge. Which he was not suited for and had no idea how to do. So when we brought in another foster dog Tad turned awful, and he was just the sweetest soul otherwise. Edsel’s just a terrible boss and it will help him to figure out he doesn’t have to be the boss. Hope the trainer is able to help you!

    Like

  18. Arli says:

    Wishing you a really pleasant, headache-free, stress-free day!

    Like

  19. Door Color Expert Andrea says:

    Several years ago a young single woman worked for me, and she was just a great human. She adopted a shelter dog, and oh that dog gave her fits. She got a trainer, and she would tell me at work about the things she would do to teach Andy Bernard (that was what she named the dog) that she was the alpha. I was so stinking proud of her for not just taking AB back to the shelter and with a “this didn’t work out easily” attitude. These days she’s married, has a baby girl and lives in another state with her dreamy wealthy husband with their terrific house and fun social life. And Andy Bernard is right in the midst of that loving family.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Sitting around and reading is my jam, yo! (Channeling my kid who likes to talk as if she is from the ‘hood instead of a tiny town with one traffic light). I know I’m not a millennial because when she says, “Dab on it,” I have no idea what that means. Last Saturday morning I woke up and lounged around reading until lunchtime because I wanted to finish my book (The Nest). Initially I had zero patience for the spoiled main characters, but most of them managed to grow up a little by the end of the book.

    Like

  21. kit says:

    We miss you here at the lake! If you are using Marcia, I used her too and she is fantastic. Best of luck with the training and I’m sorry all that happened!!!

    Like

    1. June says:

      Oh my god. How did you know it was Marcia?!

      >

      Like

      1. Just Paula H&B says:

        Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

        Like

  22. Just Paula H&B says:

    Back in the Dark Ages, when I read actual books, I would always know the title and author because I would see the cover every day. (The everyday cover, every day.) But now, in E-reader world, I never even see the cover of the book so I have no idea what or who I’m reading. I appreciate the anonymity of the E-reader because now no one knows if I’m reading a Scottish Highlander Rogue Pirate Rape and Chase; I could just as easily be reading Proust. I don’t read as much as I used to, but this past weekend I steamrolled through quite a good book by one of my favorite authors and, let’s just say it wasn’t Proust.

    NOT ADVICE: My dog wears a Martingale collar. We were told she needed to because of the shape of her head. She is built to be aerodynamic (she’s a greyhound) and her neck and head are about equal circumference, particularly when she (aerodynamically) tucks in those ears, so any other collar could easily slip off her neck-sized head. She has never escaped her collar, but then again, pretty much all she does is sleep. I order her collars from Etsy. Not advice. Shopping suggestion.

    Like

    1. Gretchen says:

      Also NOT ADVICE (ok it’s advice). When the dog starts pulling and trying to back out of the collar, get low to the ground below the dog’s head if you can and then choke up on the leash. That way the collar is tight against the back of the dog’s neck instead of being pulled away from the neck leaving a gap. Does that make sense? Have also had the skinny head dogs Paula is talking about!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just Paula H&B says:

        “Skinny head dog.” New nickname. I sometimes call her “skinny dog,” and my daughter’s bf calls her “racer dog,” but “skinny head dog” is hilarious!

        Like

        1. Gretchen says:

          I used to pet their heads and say “You got such a pointy head!”

          Like

      2. cheech1000 says:

        For some reason, the mental picture of June now having to lie on the ground underneath Edz just made me laugh out loud!

        Like

        1. Gretchen says:

          Well, I mean you can crouch. And bring your hand down to the ground under the dog’s chin. I have not tried lying down as a method, but who knows? It might work better!

          Like

  23. amarabray says:

    I am always reading too, but nowadays it is usually audiobooks so I can still make dinner and do laundry and stuff. With a real book I just lay on the couch all day. I get annoyed with people who only read literature and/or feel compelled to finish a book they hate. Books are for fun! They are entertainment! I only read what I want as long as I want to. It ends up being 2 or 3 books a week so I don’t remember much about them either.
    I also should have commented yesterday. It is the worst pain ever when someone you love does something you hate. I am so sorry. Best of luck with the trainer and new meds for Edsel.

    Like

  24. bamacarol says:

    Don’t you love having days off at home where you can stay in your robe all day and read? I am getting ready to start on The Cazalet Chronicles which you and the other peeps recommended.

    Like

    1. June says:

      Oh my god, you will LOVE them.

      >

      Like

    2. monkleton says:

      Ooh, I just got the final book in the post today. I’m debating rereading the others, since I’m moving back to where half my belongings live, which included them. I recommended them to my sister, who read one & said ‘Why is the author obsessed with colours?’. Which is why I’m only now getting the last part. Thanks sibling! I hope you enjoy.

      Like

    3. debwhosbacktobeingdeb says:

      I started reading them as well a few days ago. My problem is keeping all the characters apart, and I am constantly flipping to the beginning of the book where the family tree and cast of characters pages are. I am hoping to figure it out before too long because I hate interrupting myself every 3 paragraphs.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Melvie says:

    Good morning June! I finally get to comment in the morning! Have a wonderful trip to Chapel Hill. Happy to hear that Eds has training and medicating options. And the mole removal goes smoothly.

    Like

  26. Jeanie says:

    I don’t know why, but I can never remember the ending to a book I just finished the day before. I always have a book I’m reading so I don’t know if I get the endings mixed up… No, I don’t. But I invariably have to go back the day after I finish a book and read the last few pages. What is wrong with me?

    Norman Bates! I’m so glad the Eds is going to get some (more) help. I feel so bad for you both.

    Don’t forget the coolers!

    Like

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