I gave up having cable TV about a year ago, because basically I was paying $110 a month to watch Bravo. And while I DO miss the old movie channel (a LOT), I kind of like having Amazon Prime and also, way down the rung, Netflix.
They appeal to my addictive personality. I can enjoy a show and tend right to my “I liked that. I WANT MORE OF IT” self.
Netflix pisses me off because it buffers. Around four times during any Netflix show, it stops and tells me it’s loading. I’ve Googled what to do, and Netflix ITSELF has a whole rundown of “Here’s how to stop the buffering,” and of course it’s all stuff YOU have to do (all of which I’ve done, to no avail), and as I was going on their site and adjusting this and tweaking that, I couldn’t help but think, “If it’s my fault, why do Amazon shows come to me flawlessly and never buffer even once?”
Anyway, the whole point of me telling you this is to say that this is indeed a golden age in television. There are some really, really good shows out there. But I’d like to say, to every Louis CK and every person who produces Transparent or Orange is the New Black:
Fuck you.
Fuck you for making six shows then disappearing for 18 months. Fuck you for that. I watched all the seasons of The Mary Tyler Moore show, which I hate to tell you was 40 years ago AND STILL HOLDS UP. It’s still a good show.
You know how many episodes per season they had? 25. You know how often it came out? Fall through spring. Then next fall it’d be back.
So fuck you, pretentious, oh-we-couldn’t-possibly-give-you-plenty-of-episodes-on-a-schedule lily-livered nincompoops. Fuck you totally. For sure.
The good news about yesterday is I proofread every word of that gigantic project I had to do, and as a final touch, I also looked at the old, lovely, completed version they gave me to compare it.
I picked up the old, lovely, completed version, and?
The copyright date on it was 2017.
My blood ran cold. This whole year, this company has given me Word docs to proof, Word docs that will later be pretty PDFs or whatever, and I am proofing the first round. And now here was at least a second, if not final, draft along with my regular Word doc.
I read the initial emails to me, way back when I started the project. The emails said, “Here’s the Word doc and the PDF.”
I texted, even though it was after work hours, and guess what. Guess.
I looked at the wrong goddamn thing.
THE WRONG GODDAMN THING.
I worked till 10:00 last night trying to catch up. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
At one point last night, I took a walk, with myself, and felt bad for Edsel.
I felt so bad. But he can’t walk with me till his tighter collar gets here, and till the trainer makes me not horrified to walk him. Sure hope I get lots of opinions and advice re this! Sure hope I also get, “This is not advice, but” followed by advice! Let me pull up a chair and smile warmly at you.
It was good to walk, as I was nervous even walking with myself after what happened. I stopped to photograph the pretty sky…
It wasn’t nearly as dark out as this photo makes it seem. Anyway, I took that photo, and then when I got home I saw I had taken approximately 467 accidental shots of me walking.
I can’t find my real glasses, so I had on my backup 2009 glasses. And no makeup. Break me off a piece.
Anyway, it was good to get halfway back on that horse. Oh! And also…
Ava sighting! I wouldn’t have even RECognized her, she’s so big, but I know her pitty big brother anywhere. “Hi, Ava!” I screeched, and she wagged her tail and pulled at her leash. Am certain her owner was delighted. That’s the brother. In that house is the mom who is super cool, her husband whom I’ve not met, their daughter and son, and the daughter’s two cool kids, one of whom has June hair.
Ava has many people to love her.
I gotta go. I got to get to work and then come home and WORK ON MY FREELANCE, which I thought would be done. Ding dang it.
I leave you with a link to Amazon, should you wish to shop there today. This bangle is called the Ava Sparkle.
But you don’t have to buy that. You can buy whatever your little heart desires. Just click the bracelet and have fun on Amazon.
Richly,
Juan
OH, do NOT get me started with these damned TV producers and their 18-month wait for a new episode. What the ACTUAL eff? Get over yourselves and your inflated, over-paid egos. This is the time of year when my most favorite TV Guide used come out, the fat one with the fall previews. How I used to look forward to that! Now there’s so many channels, the TV Guide is practically all scheduling grids and any article they might deign to include is so brief, it’s almost a Tweet. And, AND, since there’s new shows all over the place, all sorts of “seasons” (pfffffft), “Fall Preview” is a huge let-down. And while I’m at it, you kids get off my lawn.
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I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS, but it shows up in my FB feed: Warner Instant Archive. “Enjoy unlimited access to classic movie and TV shows.” Then something about trying it free for seven days, so clearly there’s a fee ($10/month maybe?). Anyway, Falcon Crest, Dr. Kildare, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, and a bunch of old movies.
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I am so looking that up! I keep remembering old movies I saw at my grandma’s when I was a kid. Then I have to buy a dvd on Ebay to watch them? That is no fun and too expensive.
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I took a few photos at an event this summer. When I got home and started uploading the pictures my phone informed me that I had taken 573 photos. I had taken maybe 15 at the most. I had taken over 500 photos (most on burst) of my little, pedicured feet walking around.
The bright side of this was that I have always, always, always hated my feet. I realized I have pretty cute feet and they look much skinnier than I’ve ever thought.
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I have a fifteen-minute video of the inside of my purse. Stupid phone.
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Back in the days of vhs camcorders, I was videotaping Christmas morning present opening and put the camcorder down on the table, thinking I had turned it off. So the next 10 minutes of the video are mostly of my back and my big butt every time I bent over to pick up wrapping paper.
Love the Ava sighting. I hope Edsel’s collar get there quickly so you can work with him on civilized walking.
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Beautiful dress and that sky picture is great!
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I completely agree with you on the episode count – it feels like tv as a whole shifted massively after the multi month writer’s strike years ago. We cut the cable cord and went to a box device that allows individual channel subscriptions which made much more sense for our household. Our “cable” expenses top out at $17/mo now including Netflix and we bought our own modem for internet access so Comcast doesn’t even get their lease fee anymore. Wish we’d have done that years ago too since even at $4/mo we could have bought the modem several times over.
No advice here, (no, really) I just feel bad for both you and Edsel because you’ve both had enough trauma in the past couple of years.
Lovely post, pretty Juan.
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I despise this 13 episode business. We binge in a weekend and then have to wait a year. I tried to do Transparent but I hated his kids too much. I couldn’t get past it. Hi Ava!
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I love that photo of Cujo. He’s giving you the cold shoulder.
Also, you have a nice neck. Nothing to feel bad about.
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Cujo…poor Eds
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Nora Ephron would be jealous of June’s neck!
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I got rid of my satellite tv because like you, i was paying a lot of money just to watch bravo. Turns out my addiction is strong so I signed up for sling tv. It is 70$ less per month, but still!
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Let me pull up a chair and smile warmly at you.
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I love your neighborhood. Sacramento is known as The City of Trees, but we don’t have a glorious forest to live in like you do. The Ava bracelet! Love Edsel’s photo. Guess he showed you!
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holy cow regarding side hustle. hey! hurricane headed my way.
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Stay safe! This message is for everyone in the hurricane’s path.
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Ding and dang, that’s a lot of rain coming to Texas! Hope you all stay safe.
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I want to throw in there the network shows. I love some network shows very very much – Grey’s Anatomy, The Blacklist, This Is Us. I remember when fall brought the new season about the time school started and went into spring. Summer was when there were reruns. Now they start in October, have four weeks of break in the winter, come back for three or four shows then DONE. Really? That’s your season?
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Some day I will find a blue like your living room blue. It is utterly perfect with no hint of purple (I’m glaring right now at my ten effing test cans of “blue” paint). Mother of Juan please let me find that blue. (Also Mother of Juan please look after anyone in the path of a hurricane.)
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You might get a test can of “Crystal” made by C2 paints. It’s divine and very similar to her living room blue. I used it in my old house and LOVED it. Very soothing.
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Thank you Pal from MA! Can’t wait try that blue!
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You are exactly right. What gives with only coming up with a few measly episodes? Game of Thrones. Only what? 8 episodes this season?
By the time they come back again I will be senile and have forgotten everything.
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I love Game of Thrones. This season has been THE best! I’m a nerd. I also like Daredevil, The Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and the new one–The Defenders.
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I know you don’t like advice June so I’ll just say this isn’t advice but… no it’s straight up advice. Someone gave me this advice years ago and it’s changed my life so I know it will change yours too so I can’t help but give it:
Never cook bacon naked.
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You’ve just changed my life! Heeeee.
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I’ll let you in on a secret Sadie, I cook my bacon in the oven and I say it’s because it cooks better but I really do it so I can remain naked!
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And I meant to say how impressed I am about the giving up of cable. I am no where near ready for that yet.
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I have been bemoaning about short-ass seasons for months. This year seemed even worse than others. Or it’s just that I’m aging faster. Pisses me right off.
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Texas Kari and all other coastal Texans, stay safe. We are supposed to get hit hard here in central Texas but we are pretty high and should avoid flooding. If any of you need to drive inland, you are welcome here.
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Thanks, LisaPie! You’re sweet to think of me! Remember lo those many years ago when we built a new house on our same lot? Well, we built this house 4 feet off the ground. I *think* we are going to be high and dry. My parents who flooded a couple of years ago have bugged out to Austin, and I’m glad.
Are you gonna play the “hunker down” drinking game? ha!
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I’m late today. I must keep up my count! (If you aren’t on FB you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, Sadie.) Anyway, we haven’t had cable since about 1984. We have an antenna that works great, we get 40+ stations, but we love the Create channel that is on PBS. I’m/we are so lacking in the technical skills that we just watch old shows on You Tube, but eventually the buffering takes over and I hate that. But, I think we have a station that has some of the old shows.
Poor Edz. Don’t worry Edsel, when your new collar arrives you will be able to walk again. That sounds like Edsel is crippled. Loved all the photos and all the accidentals crack me up. Are those the same red shoes that matched the red sofa at the doctor’s office? Now they match your top. Great shoes.
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My phone died so I to recharge it and just now am reading all the comments. I agree with everyone about the short seasons. And, I agree that June always has cute shoes! By the way, I was in Belk (or Belt) yesterday and saw June’s cute gold sandals on the clearance table and stampeded. Alas, they were not my size, Drat!!
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If anyone is looking to get rid of cable because of the cost but keep it for the selection & ease, I strongly recommend PlayStation Vue. You do NOT need a Playstation for it, it’s just a steaming device (Roku, FireStick, a smart TV, etc.). I’ve tried many, many services and I think that with live shows, the ability to records shows and the selection (Bravo and the RH franchises!), is the best, I pay $40/month.
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June, this morning I saw a darling dress on the Old Navy website and wondered if it was cute in person, and I think you are wearing it!! It IS darling!
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I love the photo of “pouting Edsel”. I love your dress too. You look great in those colors.
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W hat does it mean to see the photo of June and her cute shoes and think “Why is that shadow trying to stab her with a knife?”
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Now I have to go look at that picture again!
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God. Work was so work-y today. But I read you first thing same as always and I saw the next episode on Facebook and am sorry that you ended up home with your head. I hope it’s better now!
Poor old Edsel. He’s his own worst enemy. So hoping that the trainer can get to the bottom of his psyche. Or psychosis. Thoughts and prayers!
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Well, it was the first week of school for students this week, so I missed a whole lot of happening around here. I hope all you Texans stay safe and dry…I worry you know. My dog is very protective of our house and would attack anybody who is walking by if given half a chance. I am sick that Edsel got out of his collar. I hope the new collar and trainer works like magic.
Lovely post, lovely June!
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Poor Edz, all dejected and shit. Did you tell him that if he didn’t act like Zombie Houdini on your walks, he would be allowed to go along? I bet it’s wonderful to see how loved and well taken care of that Ava is. She’s such a big girl now!
I am boycotting all the premium channels now. I loved quite a few series on Showtime, but they stopped making all but one that I liked and I realized that I was paying $40 a month just to watch one show! Ridiculous. I have basic cable now, which is expensive enough.
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Luther. BBC’s Luther, which I love had the audacity to make me wait the obligatory 18 thousand years and released only two episodes the last time around. Idris Elba is so sexy I am currently in wait mode, again. I really don’t know who these network people are and why they would think we would wait! Humpf!
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I think I can understand all the angst about the long waits between TV seasons, but not because I experience it. There’s so much good TV and not enough time to watch it all, so other stuff gets some attention. But I suffer the long waits between new books in the Flavia De Luce detective series by Alan Bradley. Can’t wait for the next one. -Kate
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