Mum-y blogger

This will surely make the more nervous of you, you know, nervouser, but I can only write you for a few minutes, as I have the jury duty and need to be downtown by 8:15, which, WHAT THE HELL, judicial system? Annoy.

There is, in fact, a sort of major trial starting today in my town, and I wonder if I will be a part of that. Please note that I did not end that sentence with a question mark, as it was not a question.

This is my latest Thing That Bugs.

“I thought you were going to Tijuana?” See, that’s a statement. You do not need that goddamn question mark. ARE you going to Tiajuana is a question. Didn’t you go to Tiajuana is also a question. But a sentence that starts with “I thought” is a statement.

“Help?” Oh my god THAT BUGS. Not a question.

Anyway, this weekend I painted the trim in the hallway, which was exciting and I got to see my cute paint store guy again. Indifferent. He was indifferent. Why is a 23-year-old black kid indifferent to an old white lady?

IMG_0651.JPGI’ve also been reading this book that one of you told me about. It’s written from the perspective of Caroline Ingalls of Little House fame, and the writer did all sorts of research to figure out what Ma was like on the INSIDE. Answer: Nicer than me.

The book store guy was all, “Oh, I loved that show.” Perhaps you will be on the jury where you don’t convict me of murder seeing as I had to snap his neck.

IMG_0670.JPGWhen I wasn’t painting or sitting around in pajamas reading…

IMG_0683 2.JPGI was at the farmers market. “Farmers,” in this case, does not get an apostrophe. I know it FEELS like it should. But they do not own the market.

IMG_0693 2.JPGI perused and eventually purchased mums, for m’front window area, and once I hung it I realized it was way too big and it looks like I’m hanging the be-fro’d head of Helen Willis from The Jeffersons out front of m’house.

Screen Shot 2017-10-02 at 7.51.49 AM.pngWhich believe it or not was not the autumnal feel I was going for.

You’d think with all their money that the Jeffersons would have sprung for a better oil painting.

Anyway, at the farmers no apostrophe market, I also played with the depth feature on my phone.

IMG_0677.JPGIMG_0681.JPGIMG_0689.JPGIMG_0674.JPGI ran into a fun person I worked with at a job two jobs ago, and the last time I ran into her was the time I went to the grocery store in a pajama top, thinking, Oh, no one will see me, and then I saw seriously 9 people during that trip. The day I have on my prom dress and a professional blowout? No one. Bupkis.

I’d better go get ready to be a part of our judicial system.

Tough but fairly,

Judicial June

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

49 thoughts on “Mum-y blogger”

  1. Lovely post June! The photos are particularly beautiful! I’m glad you had a nice weekend!
    I spent 6 hours on my husband’s mid-life crisis motorcycle. It actually was lovely since he bought me a wide seat for my not at all wide ass. The day was fabulous! I love fall in Virginia!

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  2. I disagree on “Help?” It is a truncated version of “Will you help me?” It’s more plaintive (or whiny, if you prefer) than the order “Help!”, but they both have the same implied subject and object. The punctuation changes the meaning slightly.
    You’re right about the others. I mean, obviously.

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  3. Good job, Coots!

    I love that new portrait feature. You put it to good use at the Market of Farmers. You know what bugs me? When you go to a “farmers market” and it’s all Lulularohoo and Mary Kay and Tupperware and cell phone people trying to get you to switch. I ask them all – “are you an actual farmer?” Our local “market” has a seafood guy who shows up – we live in the damn Midwest. THERE ARE NO SEAS. Don’t come and try to sell me SHRIMPS at the “farmers” market unless you grew those locally. When our market starts in April they’ll already be selling “locally grown” sweet corn and watermelons. Yeah. Oh – it bugs.

    Oh, I hope you get on that jury! The stories you won’t be able to tell us! Oh, wait…

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  4. Your “things that bug” always entertain me as do your comparisons. I forgot about that character on The Jeffersons. I do think the housekeeper made the best facial expressions on TV at that time; and my 12-year old son who is as white as Wonder Bread walks like George Jefferson and we know not why.

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  5. Oh joy – jury duty! I hope they play that “ding, ding” from Law & Order whenever anything interesting happens. That ought to liven up the day.

    My husband and I have been saying “Nice job, Coot” all weekend and then laughing like hyenas. No one thinks we’re a bit funny.

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    1. I love that law and order ding! Did you happen to see ths Law and Order bit on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on HBO this week. It struck me so funny I laughed for a long time. I even went back and rewatched to a few times. I was glad my bladder was empty. Curb Your Enthusiasm had me howling too. My husband was asleep. I was afraid I’d make him.

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  6. Love the pictures today! They put me in the fall mood.
    Have an adventurous day judging folks . Jury duty is always a very interesting event. You might be shaking your curly head all day!

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  7. Very nice, Coot.
    In case you are answering questions during voir dire, I want to know about the Flaming June print you had in LA. Was it yours or Marvin’s originally? What did you like about it?

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  8. OK, yes I add a question mark when I want the reader to hear me upspeak at the end of whatever it is I said –even if it isn’t a question. What do you think? Does that come across well?

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  9. I get a jury duty summons about once every 3 years. Sometimes, all I have to do is just check in online and my Civic Duty box is checked. Other times, I actually have to appear, because I’ve been summoned. And then I spend the whole day twiddling my thumbs, reading a book or doing laps around the courthouse in an effort to stay awake. The last time I had to appear, I got in Big Trouble because I was taking pictures of a construction site from the balcony of the jury room and apparently, cameras are not allowed and someone ratted me out. And I didn’t get picked for a jury, either.

    Good job, Coots!

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  10. Very nice, Coot.

    The last time I had jury duty I ended up serving on a murder trial. It was exciting, but I’m not itching to do it again.

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  11. You would love me. I often end my sentences with ?! along with :). My favorite cube neighbor was our proof writer at Hallmark. I’m sure he loved me yelling over the cube wall every time I wrote an email.
    You can start a photography not blog now. Have fun at jury duty, it’s a great time to read.

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  12. I always get rejected from jury duty because I am an opinionated old hag lawyer and they NEVER seat us. It pisses me off because I think it would be fascinating to be on the other side of the box. Plus, I always wanted to pull a “Twelve Angry Men” thing in real life. So, I hope you are one of the chosen ones, June!

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      1. I got booted off by the prosecutor the one time I went. My husband’s oldest brother is a former assistant prosecutor. I really wanted to serve back then.

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  13. Oooh! I hope you get picked for that jury but be sure not to tell us if you do. Wouldn’t want the verdict being jeopardized because you wrote about it in your not blog. I’m sure you already know this from watching Law & Order.

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  14. I have to agree with kiwords that “Help?” is a truncated version of “Can you help?”

    Random story: For some reason in college my friends and I were all into truncated conversations. As in:

    Me: “Kroger. Come with?”
    Friend: “Yes. Five.”

    Which translates to “I’m going to Kroger, would you like to come with me?” and “Yes please, just give me five minutes to get ready.”

    We thought we were the bomb back then. Now I’d probably want to smack myself, because aren’t most late teens / early twenties just the most annoying people ever? Case in point: Go watch old episodes of The Real World.

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  15. Good luck, June! I hope you get chosen as a juror. I’ve gone a couple of times for jury duty but haven’t been chosen. A prosecutor friend of mine told me I wouldn’t be chosen because I’m an elementary school teacher. She said,” You believe people can change.” I guess she was right. I enjoyed the day of uninterrupted quiet reading while I waited, though.

    Thank you, Coot.

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  16. I am sure I have said this before but when I had the jury duty they were picking for 3 different juries and I wanted to be picked so bad….they must have smelled my desperation because I actually got called up to the box for all 3 and not one of them picked me! Not sure if it was my desperation that excluded me or because I checked the box yes when it asked if I had been a victim of a crime. My house got broken into years before but I am 99% sure it was an ex so I probably shouldn’t have checked that box. Either way it was a fabulous 2 days of reading and people watching and not being at work so that was a win in my book.

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  17. My daughter received her very first jury summons last year. Within 15 minutes of reporting in, she was picked for a case involving construction. She thought for sure that her connection to the construction industry (her parents) would be a conflict but nope, both sides accepted her. The trial lasted 2 weeks and despite her young age (21), the other jurors deferred to her. She said she really enjoyed the experience.

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  18. I haven’t seen squash like that in a long time. My mama always called it crook neck (not crooked neck). All the yellow squash now is just straight!

    Cool photos!

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  19. I wonder if you got a lot of email about the Farmers Market and its missing apostrophe. (No question mark needed at the end of that sentence.) (Note there is no apostrophe on its, either, because I didn’t want to say it is.) Anyway, you made me laugh. I have lots of Things that Bug … slow drivers being at the top of my list today. Have fun with jury duty.

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  20. Ahh, jury duty. Last time I got called it was for a baby who was a victim of such abuse that it caused her death. Cheerful, no? I prayed all day that I wouldn’t get picked. No way could I spend the next two weeks looking at giant photos of that sweet baby around the courtroom without crying all the live long day. Thankfully I was not chosen. Our downtown jury plaza (HUGE place for juries to queue) was underground and flooded in the hurricane, so no juries for a while.

    Good price on crook neck squash. Hope you bought some!
    Lovely post, Judicial June!

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  21. Egg-face, aka my mother, is the only one in my family to have been chosen for Jury Service. It was a milkman who was stealing milk from his milk-float, which his boss wasn’t a fan of him doing. Not every case can be thrilling….

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  22. How have I not heard of that book?! Off to Amazon I am.

    I was reading about the case this morning (if it’s the case I’m thinking it is) and wondered why, when the crime occurred in 2014, it is only now getting to trial.

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  23. Lovely post,Coot.
    Thanks to you I am questioning my punctuation. To quote or not to quote.
    To question mark or not, that is the question.

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  24. I started reading your not-blog way back when because of your mentioning all the grammar things that bug. They always bug me too. Especially misplaced and superfluous apostrophes or quotation marks. I saw a sign this weekend that read, “Employee’s Only.” Grrrr… I always have to point these things out and probably drive my poor husband nuts. I am his thing that bugs. Lovely post, Coot!

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  25. The one and only time I was summoned for jury duty, I got picked. For a child sex abuse case, no photos (thank goodness) as it was years later that the young man brought charges. The accused was dressed in a nice suit but had a really smarmy expression on his face. I was right in the front row of the jury box and it was all I could do to keep from jumping out and smacking the smarm right offa his damn face. He was convicted, no brainer. As we the jury were walking out to parking lot together, a car whizzed by us with someone screaming at us “HE DIDN”t DO IT”. Scared the bejeesus out of us. Made me wish they would have had an escort for the jury after the trial. Nice post, Coot.

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  26. All that fresh fruit and tomatoes makes me want to head to our local farmer-no-apostrophe-s market and buy a bunch of fresh stuff that will go bad before I actually use or eat it. I do that all the time, for some annoying reason.

    Oooh, SD, ruining your street rep with that snuggling on the mama’s lap! Never let them see you snuggle.

    Oh, and nice job, Coot!

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  27. Last weekend I received a professional world email with multiple uses of “sells” instead of “sales”. You would have stabbed your eyes out before the end!

    Lovely photos and post, pretty Coot.

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  28. The last time I was picked to be questioned for jury duty, one of the lawyers asked, “Not to point you out but you were the only person in the room to not take your oath on the Bible. Will that impair your judgement to make fair assessments?” And I wanted to say, “Bitch, you did point me out and no, it means I’m more likely to make impartial assessments.” But I didn’t. Instead my silent rage at her and the other attorney (who kept chirping about real court not being like a TV show) made me stop blinking & I’m pretty sure that I scared the crap out of both of them.

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  29. Thank you for the punctuation lesson. I’ve been guilty and now I know what not to do although I still don’t know what not to wear.

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