My 404 Not Found Error

IMG_E0891.JPGI stood in my backyard just now and watched several leaves fall from the branches of my tree and sway all the way to the ground. It was so pretty that I got the phone so I could show you, but of course once I got the damn phone, the leaves stayed tight.

weee not leaf-ing. heeeee!

Leaves are dicks. Nevertheless, I made a video, hoping to capture a leaf falling, like you’ve never seen that before, but instead my video is more let’s say meditative. Till Edsel. You’ll see.

I hate holding the phone vertically to take a video, but the first time when I went up then down to look at the dog, it got sideways.

I’ve been trying to be meditative lately. As you might know, I had jarring news last week, and you only know this because I wrote about it on the Facebooks, on a page called (Face)Book of June, and what was warm, what was really lovely of you, were the four people who joined the page, read my tale of sadness, then promptly quit it again.

So, no. No, I’m not adding anyone else to the page at this time. It was supposed to be for friends of this page. Friends. Of this page. So. I’m a tad wary right now.

But anyway, if you “Don’t have Facebook” (say, Madame 1800s, how are the 1800s going? Is there penicillin yet?) or whatever, suffice it to say that what happened was that I was on the mend, I was headed toward moving on from my last “relationship,” if you even want to call it that. I think I may just refer to that time as, “Those five years and 10 months that I was gravely mistaken,” but that takes too long.

Those years when I had Stockholm Syndrome?

My Not Found 404 Error?

Anyway. I thought I was moving on from it, whatever it was. It officially ended in 2015, but then it kept …hovering there, and I started it back up again last year at this time, then it ended again, badly, in December and I thought, Okay, this is really it.

But then it hovered again. And it’s hard to convince yourself a relationship is over when someone is constantly coming back, telling you he loves you.

Until you find out he doesn’t.

I found out some stuff, some you-were-not-loved information. And I wasn’t told because there was guilt or so much respect that anyone needed to come clean with me.

I found out because the other woman contacted me.

So.

I’ve been in a limbo for two years. A purgatory. And one thing I like about myself is my ability to not be dramatic about everything. But really, this half-broken-up shit is wearisome. So it’s kind of like I’m in a new breakup.

Again.

But since I’ve already spent much time grieving and mourning and feeling incredulous about everything, it’s moving along faster than you’d think, this time.

The point is, I’ve been trying to be meditative. When I walk Edsel at night, I’m paying attention to what I smell, what I see, what I hear. And it helps. Because otherwise I could be walking around with my brain spinning, as it has spun each day since I stupidly convinced myself I was in love, way back in March of 2012.

When your overwhelming feeling is more of anxiety that you adore this person and you worry they won’t adore you back? That’s really not so much love as a neurotic coupling. Must remember this.

You must remember this, a diss is still a diss. A lie is just a lie. The fundamental things apply, avoidant guy.

But I’m doing okay. I’m no longer in denial. Well. I’m 99% not in denial. I think I so dearly wanted some way that this would work out that I never quite accepted it was over.

Till now. I accept that it’s over. My plan is to never say one word to my 404 error ever again.

Oh! But while we’re on the topic of that (Face)Book of June page, I noticed yesterday a few people on there with the Facebook silhouette

Man_Silhouette.

And one person in particular with that image, and no friends, and the only info on her Facebook page was where she went to school. I say “she” but it’s a clearly fake, neutral name.

It worries me.

Look, I’m over there being me. My real name, my real details. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I’d rather tell that stuff to real people.

Anyway, this particular person has been on my readers-of-my-blog page for six years, so I didn’t just delete her right away. I messaged her. Said the stuff I just said to you, about real and so on, and how it worried me that she/he had no identity. “Is there anything you can tell me to put my mind at ease?” I asked.

No response.

So I removed him or her, and also someone who had no info on her page except a picture of the Verizon chick from the commercials. Then I announced on the page at large that if you had a fake profile, or no profile pic, I was going to have to remove you, because it makes me uncomfortable.

Here’s what happened.

“I have a picture of a flower, June! Don’t kick me off.”

“See, no,” I’d explain, “I’m saying if you have NO photo at all, and NO friends, and NO posts on your wall that I can see. That’s when I’m removing folks. Because how is it fair that you set up a fake account so you can lurk my life? No. This page is an exchange,” is what I said.

Then three comments later, I’d get, “I hate how I look, June, so I have a photo of a soccer ball. Please don’t take me off this page.”

“Yeah, see…” I’d say, and explain it all again.

Ten comments later, guess what.

So that was my day yesterday, until finally last night I was face-down on my living room floor, just typing “please scroll up” every 14 minutes or so.

Cats. You’re all cats. I herd cats in my real life, I herd cats in my online life. But I do heart you all, those of you who are real with me, I mean. I know I haven’t met most of you, but dear god, are you part of my every day.

I’ve watched you lose tons of weight, or a husband, or your jobs. I’ve seen your family members get sick or well. I’ve seen you have rotten days and great ones. And even though it’s weird, and impersonal, our relationship, it’s also sort of very personal.

Thank you to those of you who’ve been real, and have seen me through this stupid 404 error, for screaming at your computer DON’T HAVE DINNER WITH HIM, JOOOOB! all these years, thank you. I’ve tried to be as real as I can, and I appreciate how real you are all being, as well.

I guess that’s all I have to say today. My freelance work came early, goddammit, so I ended up having zero free days after all.

IMG_0894.JPG
no fotoz, pleez. bitz.

Edsel just let himself and all the cats in, which was convenient for me. Last night, late, there was another NextDoor about a “sweet cat” and I didn’t even have to open it. Of course I did.

“This sweet cat followed us home. Is he yours?”

Ima just brand that asshole with my address and a DON’T FEED. Also, “sweet cat.” Could it be possible that he has multiple personalities? Or maybe he just turns on the charm when a potential new food source rears its head.

I can’t solve every mystery today. I gotta just keep moving on.

Moving the hell on.

Mendingly,

June.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

114 thoughts on “My 404 Not Found Error”

  1. Don’t know what to say without inserting my 7.5 WW in my mouth so I will just say I am here reading and enjoying your awesome writing and wishing you happiness. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

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  2. Thanks for letting those of us who still live in the 1800s without the facebook get the gist of what is going on. Hopefully now that things feel final you can move on.

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  3. I love this post. I have read for years, hardly ever post here or on (face)book. I love that you called the 5 years my “404 error”. Proud of you for moving on.

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  4. Imma watch that veedeeo all the ding dang day. I need some meditative in my life. I just know to rewind when Edsel shows up.

    I used to love Facebook more before it became all about marketing and news and whatnot. I just want to see cute pictures of pets and kids – well, my kids mainly – and read the funny things that my funny friends post. Now I feel like it’s a lot of people acting badly and I see things I would in real life never need to see. Yesterday the “friend” of a friend (and I use the term loosely in Facebook land) posted a sad update about his son who had been killed in a car crash. And it was a dad just bleeding grief all over his page. A really personal, private moment that should have never passed by my eyes. I don’t know him and I only barely know the friend who commented and made it possible for me to see his update. He said something like “do not contact me in any way – I want to be left alone. Feel free to post your thoughts and prayers”. I don’t know why, but that just made me so sad. That’s what we’ve come to – don’t be real with me. Just post shit on my page.

    Well, THAT was cheerful. You’re a bright spot in my day June. I don’t know you from Adam or his lovely wife Eve, but I just love your voice and your open heart and your… persistence. Is that weird? I don’t care. You just remind me that it’s worth getting up every day, even when some of those days just plain old suck balls.

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  5. Real feels. I understand that “finally getting over it” – well, mending, feeling. It seems like they linger until some concrete action. I met ex’s new wife. Pitiful. Gave me a new understanding of just how pitiful he really is, always was, and I couldn’t see it for 25+ years. So, finally really mending, 8 yrs after separation, 5 divorced. Whew, finally stopped carrying that extra 175# around with me.
    That was one of the best jokes I ever heard from another divorced friend- Me: “You look great!” Friend: “Thanks! I lost about 220#…with a flick of my wrist when I signed my divorce papers.”

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    1. I used to make a similar joke when I worked as a Weight Watchers Leader. If a member would share that they got divorced or went through a breakup. I’d ask how much the ex- weighed and tell them they could add it to the their weight loss total. Never got old.

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      1. Speaking of Weight Watchers, a vending-machine packet of Oreos is 14 fucking points. Not that I know this. Now I’m going around singing like the Wizard of Oz monkeys. Or-e-o, OOOooooo, o.

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  6. I am amazed at your patience with all us, June. You’re like the classroom teacher, trying to filter through the good kids who don’t deserve consequences for the bad kids’ behavior. I taught school for almost 20 years, and it was just easier to impose consequences on the whole group rather than figure out who was misbehaving. So kudos to you for trying fairly to make sure the real fans/friends can stay connected and the not-so-real ones are disconnected. (I wrote “eliminated” there at first, but it seemed a bit dark.)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Glad you are moving on from this. It is clear that it is not going to end up the way you want it to be. But on another note, I hope we meet one day! We live too close, especially when I move to Durham next summer!

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  8. My Dickensian Life sees me having some coping issues, and Edz cheered me up. But I don’t have to live with his crazy antics! Whatever works.
    Know that I am too lazy to fake a Facebook account to lurk. Though a lurker would say that. But I am really that lazy.
    I get that everything that happens in life is a lesson, but your 404 was a whole term in a Jane Eyre style workhouse. At least you got to keep your hair.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. That was lovely. I teared up a bit, and I seldom do that anymore at all.
    I have always appreciated how much of you is shared on the page. You are real and don’t settle for less than you are.

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  10. Writing to you from the 1800s here as I don’t have Facebook. And don’t worry, I wasn’t one of the ones who signed up just to join your page/group and then leave (I mean, really!?). I guess I can put 2 and 2 together from all the reading between the lines here….that sucks. He sucks. She sucks.

    But you don’t. I really hope you can move on from here.

    At the very least, you have all those wonderful pets to make you laugh (they make ME laugh anyway). And you always have us, including those of us “who never comment.”

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  11. I love the peacefulness of your yard, however brief it may last.

    I try to meditate, but my mind just won’t shut up! So when I walk my dog I just talk to God.

    Very nice, Coot.

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  12. Ugh, I’m so sorry June. Those 404 Errors are a bitch. This post was amazingly beautiful and meditative with humor woven throughout. Your talents are amazing.

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  13. I hope you know that at least half of us explained how our fb photo wasn’t really us because we knew we didn’t really have to explain that. At least we didn’t all use emojis as well! (dying to put a winky face here)

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  14. Thank you for sharing your life with us! It really is the highlight of my morning. I loved hearing your voice on the video. I’m not sure why I was shocked that you do not have a southern accent.

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  15. 404 not found error! You are speaking my language as I am a beleaguered computer programmer. Well, my title is a lot longer than that but programmer/miracle worker is what I do.

    Thank you for the meditative peak into your back yard. Our leaves have not started falling yet or turning colors. It has been in the upper 80s still this week and I am more than ready for autumn to commence

    Thanks for the funny and contemplative this morning June. Your film is like one of those ‘can you find all the cats in this picture?’. Sneaky little SDS boy; out finding all kinds of food and affection.

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  16. Your veedeo was indeed peaceful, but Edsel made it fun, too. I am able to enjoy the sounds (now that I have hearing aids) and beauty around me and love the nature-y things. I think it’s because I’m, a Taurus, an earth person. Also too, please don’t delete me from the Face of Joon because I doin’t have a profile picture. The main reason I don’t have one is because I’m technology challenged and don’t know how to add one. There are a few photos of me on my page, though. Also also too, I’ve been commenting here for many moons.

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  17. “When your overwhelming feeling is more of anxiety that you adore this person and you worry they won’t adore you back? That’s really not so much love as a neurotic coupling. Must remember this.”

    This is powerful insight. I know the pain you’ve gone through to get to this realization. Thanks for mining the depths of that experience to grow in your understanding. We can all learn from it.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. After I left my ex I suppose I looked more relaxed. People who didn’t know the story would tell me I looked less stressed and how did I do that. I just said I got rid of the stress.
    I hope my gramma and punctuation isn’t (aren’t?) stressing you.
    You’re very pretty, June.
    Nice slogan, Coot.

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  19. On a VERY light note….the rug looks fabulously clean in that pic. I too share the issue of “nothing shows up until I take a picture then somehow it looks like I haven’t vacuumed in 2 years FILTER HELP ME NOW” ….
    but at that point in time, your rug is SPOTLESS. It is clearly a sign of your brighter future

    xoxox

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    1. That happens to me, too, and then I know all 10 of you will see it. But Ward told me he was a bit OCD, so I cleaned like a mother before he came over this weekend.

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  20. Oy with the nonstop freelancing already. Maybe you could make more money as an Avon lady. Maybe it would leave you more time to be meditative, and then (are you sick of hearing this yet?) put a manuscript together, because you are too good a writer NOT to have a book.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love SD in the middle of the two rugs. He is contemplating which one he wants to put his hair on first. I don’t even get the vacuum put away before my cat is depositing his hair on my clean furniture!

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  21. Great post! I get so nervous when things like picture explanation situations happen, I worry that you’ll want to quit blogging again! Especially with those asshat people that join and un join just to snoop.
    I’ve said it before but I really appreciate you being so open and letting us into your life. It brings me so much joy as well as making me think and take a look at my own issues.

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  22. I detest facebook, but I have used it almost since its beginning. I still don’t trust that what I write there can not be viewed by everyone in my friends list. A list that includes friends, frienemies, in-laws, out-laws and family so mostly everything I post or comment is generic. I feel much more at home and less likely to be judged here at the “Book of June”. I heart you and your pets and all your exciting daily activities, and here’s hoping your next encounter will be a great “Welcome” page and not a 404 error.

    “We are not leaf-ing.” This! This is why I love you.

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  23. We’re happy to be part of your every day, June. The good and the bad. And it does feel personal, rallying around you and each other at times when it’s most needed.
    We’re one big wacky family. We may not always agree but we’re here for each other, all because of you.
    Sometimes I’m the yappy cousin who won’t shut the hell up. Other times I’m the one sitting on the couch with nothing to offer comment wise but still concerned and caring.
    Someone cross stitchy talented needs to make a You Must Remember Diss pillow for you. That was hilariously accurate.
    I loved the meditation veedeeo with the kids. Eds is definitely the loveable goofball of the family.

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  24. June, beautifully said. I love the little corner of the world that is the (Face)Book of June. It is a beacon of real in a world of fake and Lord knows we need something to be real right now. Thank you for protecting it.

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  25. As a longtime lurker, thank you for sharing your life. I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been reading your not-blog at least eight years. I haven’t friended you on Facebook, but know there are real people on the other side of the screen who appreciate you and your writing.

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  26. The 404 error has been gut wrenching for you and I am sorry. You should get some satisfaction that he is still trying to win you back and you are having no part of it! Good for you!

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  27. I’m not on Facebook although we used to be friends. I think I left for your reasons plus a gob of my own. I’ve always enjoyed reading you and its always a thrill when you or any person here comments back to me or acknowledges what I say in any way. I love this dynamic and admire your cojones from afar – you are brave as well as funny and charming. Plus if there is any recollection of my words, you’ll remember that I am insanely jealous of your hair.

    I really only had meandering thoughts to get down here. I just felt like I wanted to say them today and tell you, “chin up, kid.” May you become indifferent to your 404 error very soon. It’s the best way – no love, no hate, only indifference.

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  28. You are a treasure. I have only ever hoped you would find the one for you.
    Life will be less stressful . Unburdening yourself of someone who is not good for you (including family in my case), is so tension relieving.
    I wish for you the calm of meditative life. Do what YOU want for YOU.
    I have learned to take care of me from my experience.
    You deserve someone who truly cares for you.
    Don’t ever change, you seem wonderful to me
    Your 404 error fooled me too, I truly hoped he loved you and was just in denial.
    Onward and upward as they say.
    Leaning in the doorway , waving with love.

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  29. I was in a similar 404 situation a few years back, and although it hurt like hell, yet again, to realize it wasn’t going to ever work, it was kind of a relief because I could finally move on. The door was closed, ALL THE WAY. Locked, and key thrown on the trash. I decided that I gave him and the relationship enough chances, and that I deserved better than his proclamations of love. I deserved the actions and behavior that prove it. Keep on with the meditative thoughts. You’re strong, and smart and loved.

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  30. Very nice, Coot.

    Seriously. This was a great post. I hope you find much peace and happiness now that you’re moving on.

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  31. How funny would it be if the next cat you see on nextdoor is Steely Dan, all snuggled up on someone? I think that would answer the question of what he does everyday.

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  32. 404NFE is a good name for an era. People will assume the F stands for a very interesting word, which lends an air of sophistication.

    But in regard to the Steely Dan Mystery, have you considered the possibility that he’s just Mr. Withers from the amusement park wearing a mask? Just a thought.

    -Summer (because WP makes me use my login)

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  33. I’m relieved that you are healing from your 404 Error and are no longer expending your energy trying to make it into what you had dreamed it could be. Even from the beginning, you had mentioned a leopard’s spots. No wonder Camilla comes to mind.

    Thank you for sharing as much of your life as you want on your not-blog. You are such a gifted writer as evidenced by your, “You must remember this” verse, it’s a pleasure to read your words. Very nice, Coot.

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  34. I am also a lurker who has decided to speak up because this post inspired me to say THANK YOU for sharing your life with us. I keep trying to write something witty and endearing here, but keep getting interrupted by my ridiculous dogs, so I think you can see what first drew me to your blog. I mean your not blog. Whatever. But I just want to say I’ve been following you for years and appreciate the way you keep it real! That’s probably why yours is the only not blog I have continued to read. Oh, now I have to go put dog #1 in the house and let dogs #2 and #3 outside, because they do not all play nicely together. Pets, gotta love them. Have a wonderful day, June!

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  35. Lovely post. Truly lovely. And veedeeoh is wonderful. I love Edz popping out from the shrubbery. Pee bush? Leaves not quite falling here, but the pine needles have crashed down and the sagebrush is in full bloom, the rat bastard.

    Yeah, we are a bunch of cats and we will not be tamed. SD is our king, obvs.

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  36. “You must remember this, a diss is still a diss. A lie is just a lie. The fundamental things apply, avoidant guy.” <—– This might be my favorite thing you've ever written. Top Ten anyway.

    I've been reading you since, I don't know, 2009ish and I will most likely not stop reading until you stop writing. You are my blog feed dessert – I save the best for last because I want to end on a high note. Keep on keepin' on!

    I had a 404 Error once. Sucks. But I learned a lot of good life lessons from that relationship, so at least something good came out of it. Here's to your life lessons, sister. *clink*

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  37. I keep hoping that the space your 404 error leaves will be occupied by the book you write. Good lord you’re a good writer.

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  38. My aunt’s 404 error moment came after forty years of marriage when a cop showed up at her door asking for my uncle and said, “Ma’am, your husband is having an affair with my wife. He told her you have cancer and that’s why he has to go outside of his marriage for sex.” (She didn’t have cancer.) My question is what kind of person thinks, “Oh, yes, a man that cheats on his wife who has cancer…that’s the guy for me!” That is a double-dick-move couple. My aunt is divorced now and the ex-uncle married that chick. She thinks he doesn’t cheat on her. Hilarious.

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  39. The only reason I stay on Facebook at all is to see pictures of my grandkids. And for the conversations and pictures over on (Face)Book of June. The rest is someone trying to sell me something, whether it’s a product or a political opinion. I’m not buying, either way. Thank you for being real, as always.

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  40. It is hard for me to share super personal stuff with people. I can’t imagine posting here and on the Face and then getting backlash or negative comments. I don’t understand why people can’t just move along without making sure they hurt someone along the way. I’m not really sure I’m expressing myself clearly here so I’ll just say: thank you for sharing your life and your pets with us. I love the way you tell a story. Great job, Coot!

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  41. So sorry there was yet more pain to be had from this situation – wishing you peace, somehow, and happiness as you move on.

    Thank you for sharing yourself and your writing with us – so many have said it better than I, but I appreciate you and the little corner of the world you’ve created.

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  42. I worry about Steely Dan wandering around and going to other peoples homes. I see him being scooped up by a red headed, mouth breathing, fat kid. I see the kid crying, “oh mommy, can’t we keep him, please, mommy , please!!!!!?????!!!”
    But then when I realize we don’t have to worry about him because he’ll just find a way to sneak out of their house too.

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  43. I’ve been a nosy fucker for years now. Thanks for allowing me to share in your antics, good and bad. I have learned life lessons from both you and your readers. Your blog and the comments almost always make me laugh or chuckle at least once a day. Also, I have pet crushes on all of your animals, present and fmr.

    Cheers to you!

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  44. Your “scroll up” posts on Facebook last night were killing me. I could not stop laughing.

    I don’t comment often…mostly never…but you and the life you share with us, and all of those who are a part of it here and on Facebook, bring me much laughter. Sometimes tears too, but mostly laughter. And I need that in my life. So thank you.

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  45. “You must remember this, a diss is still a diss. A lie is just a lie. The fundamental things apply, avoidant guy.”

    Very nice. I always enjoy your song references, especially if they are pre-1974.

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  46. I haven’t read through the comments, yet. But I just have to say that it will get easier, “as time goes by.” Good post, Coot.

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  47. I know how hard it is to leave a relationship that feels like ‘love’. I finally ‘broke the cycle’ when the guy asked me if there was someone else and I replied, ‘It’s more the POSSIBILITY of someone else. And that possibility won’t happen until my head and heart are free and open to receive it when it comes my way.’ So, hang in there, kiddo. I didn’t find my match till I was 58!!

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  48. OMG! Not only is this a beautiful, thoughtful, meditative, funny, etc., post, but the comments are too. I have never felt so proud to be part of a group. Coot, you and your gang of 10’s are wonderful peoples.

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  49. Sorry about your 404 error, but I honor your courage in locking the door and throwing away the key! Good job, Coot!

    I loved your meditation video. So peaceful and serene.

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  50. You must remember this, a diss is still a diss. A lie is just a lie. The fundamental things apply, avoidant guy.”

    This line is what inspired me to post today. Much like Ellie and DanaLynn, I am a lurker. I think I commented once a couple years ago. I have been reading your non-blog and the comments for a few years and it is a part of my day I look forward to. I actually just sent you a friend request yesterday, I had previously been following you on Facebook but I wanted to be able to click “like” on posts/pet pictures! I have a 3 year old black cat who is very much like Steely Dan, so I enjoy all his antics.

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  51. Love you, love your pets, love your posts – always have and will, even since Bye Bye Buy days! I’ll never forget how sweet you were when my own pets were sick or lost. But I cannot fathom the emotional energy it takes to deal with everything that comes along with and because of this non-blog. Hope it stays always mostly a happy place for you.

    And I’ve been in the same boat with the woman calling and all that.. it’s definitely a bittersweet relief. Proud of ya, hope it gets easier, and can’t wait to read about the amazing guy you’ll eventually meet that will want nothing and no one but YOU!

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  52. “Moving the hell forward” is what we all have to keep doing in this life. What makes it tolerable is having community, especially faithful community comprised of smart, witty, and compassionate people.
    While I don’t comment often, I read each of your entries and most comments. I feel as if I “know” so many of you. And a few years ago, when I thought I was going to check myself in to “the nervous hospital,” it was here that the light started to shine through the humor, and I found hope again.
    Miss “June,” my heart aches for your hurt. And I deeply admire your willingness to share and process it with us. It’s how people heal. The 404 error has been particularly virulent. Dealing with damaged people leaves a mark. Count yourself blessed for being able to find the grit to move along.
    Sending every good wish.

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  53. I realize the sounds of your back yard were peaceful, but I swear all those fallen and falling leaves would make me bonkers. Do you have someone come clean them up?

    Sometimes, your writing literally makes me hold my breath through the whole post because it’s so beautiful. Today was one of those days.

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    1. My lawn guy will be here soon, and those leaves will be gone. It makes me sad when they go.

      And also, thank you. I just sat there and barfed that out this morning, everything I was thinking.

      Liked by 1 person

  54. I tried to refresh the blog twice before I realized this was your blog title, not a Web page error message. I was about to go to Book of June, Facebook to see if anyone else was getting the error message too.
    : ( Cannot believe I did that…

    Love that you too, love to hear our stories as much as we enjoy yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  55. My 404 error lasted 10 years!! I’m 2 years out the other side now and it does get better….hugs from Ireland.

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  56. I’m rather enjoying Contemplative June Day. I’m sorry all that crap happened, and I’m glad that Avoidant Guy is behind you. Onward!
    Also, look at all these fun new people commenting today! June, you are clearly well-loved.

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    1. I agree, it is so nice to see everyone old and new commenting today. And, yes, when I say “old” I am speaking for myself.

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  57. I want to live where there are seasons! To hear leaves crunching beneath my feet would be music to my ears. Unless I had to rake them. Then, nope. I’m tired of living in California where the only season we have is fire season. Every stinking October. I live in San Diego, where we’ve had our share, and I am heartsick with what’s happening in Napa. Excuse me while I go find my Xanax.

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  58. I look forward to reading you every day. Thank you for investing your time in this website (or whatever) and in us.

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  59. You are a wonderful writer & I always enjoy your non-blog! The antics of your pets always make me laugh. Thanks for all you do!

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  60. What’s the matter with these men? It’s happened to me, too. I’m still getting over it. My second and third husbands did it to me.

    Now? I just don’t trust any of them. It’ll take me a while.

    I’m just sorry you had to go through this, my dear. Very sorry.

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  61. Lord only know what Edsel was doing behind that bush. It was lovely and relaxing while it lasted.
    You have so many more fallen leaves than we do. Which is odd since we’re in the same zone.
    Lovely post, June.

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  62. The description 404 Error is so perfect – so metaphoric for “can’t be fixed” and “trying again will result in the same error.”

    I just waited and waited for Eds to show up in that video – and feel strangely blessed by a SD sighting. There really is no way to label that cat as “owned” is there? I mean, he looks wonderful – fed and healthy as he is – but a collar doesn’t work, if you brand the little guy his hair will just grow back…

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  63. I am very glad that the 404-Not-Found-Error has been resolved. Now, pass the biscuits, please.

    I also want to acknowledge how rude it is to ask to be a part of the group, get what you want and then leave. Seriously. We need to require finishing school. Just last week, a colleague was holding a voluntary training session and had a tray of chocolate-laden treats as a lure for people to come to the TRAINING. Someone walking by the room saw the tray of treats, came in, took one, and left. I draw a comparison, but the people who came for the personal information are about 10,000 times worse. Yuck.

    Edsel was my favorite part of the peaceful video.

    Very nice, Coot.

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  64. I love this post, June. And I agree with you, I have met some incredible stranger friends here on this Blogsite. Over the course of several years we’ve all shared quite a lot together. Sending my very best wishes so that you can mend your heart. I’m so disappointed in him.

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  65. You know I’ve been here a very long time, well before you left LA. Thank you for being so open and real with us, sharing your life, the good and the bad. That’s why you have captured my heart. I’m cheering you on to stay strong allowing your heart to heal so you can move forward for a better life. Such a heartfelt post.

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  66. Ugh. Just ugh. I don’t Facebook (only dial-up here in the 1900s…dial-up & hobble skirts but almost everyone can have a pony!) so color me clueless till now. Sorry for you doll.

    (PS. I had that same kind of leaf moment. For me it was yellow leaves slowly drifting down through golden sunlight right as I looked up from reading the last lines of a Japanese sad-ending fairytale. It was perfect. Fall is wonderful.)

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  67. I don’t have facebook joon but please just dont ever make this blog private. I respect there are things for facebook and there are things here to read. Love you from afar and rooting for you! Not creepily at all.

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  68. I’m so sorry. Many years ago I had my own 404 Error. I’m not sure I’ve ever commented before but I love your writing and wish you the very best.

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