Dark

I just realized my coffee is a metaphor. I like everything intense, smoky and dark.

What the hell is wrong with me?

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

127 thoughts on “Dark”

  1. Nothing is “wrong ” with you. You are probably going through a not fun patch of life. It’s sucky for sure. I have lots of tips and tricks for getting through my depression. I don’t think that is what you’re looking for. I want to say I see you

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  2. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? Probably not. The men called Christina the very complicated female character a dark malt whiskey. Maybe you are too? I am Asti Spumonte, far too sweet and bubbly for some. I have a pretty intense dark side too. It’s too early to be philosophical. Hope I spelled that right.

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      1. I bought that Starbucks Dark roast at Costco. Had to return it. Horrible stuff. Do not recommend. Zero stars.

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      2. I go for the Veranda – “Blonde” roast. More caffeine, less acid. Has nothing to do with moods or preferences in the mens and everything to do with being a caffeine addict [thanks Mom!] and less reflux.

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  3. I have no wisdom this morning (or most any morning for that matter) that will help you to feel better. I’m feeling kind of dark myself. Let’s hope it doesn’t last too long for either one of us. I’ll hang in there if you will!

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  4. You need to call Hulk. He’ll help you out of your funk, or at least give you more blogging material. Be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with friends. You’ll get thru this.

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  5. I really didn’t mean I was depresssed, although I always kind of am. I just mean I like things that are dark and intense. I prefer an in different cat to an affectionate dog. I like a brooding man sitting over in the corner of the coffee shop rather than a happy one jogging in the park. That’s what I meant.

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    1. If you like murder mysteries, especially British, try Hinterland. Richard Harrington, who is Welsh, will provide all the dark broodiness you could want in a man. Plus – those eyes!

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  6. Maybe you like the dark intense stuff because you also like the bright and sparkly stuff. Glitter and sequins need a dark background so they can shine!

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  7. I recently read an article about why people are attracted to the brooding type (aka narcissists) that I remember I found really fascinating. Can’t remember a damn thing that it said!!

    Brooding men (aka narcissists) aside, think of the dark wonderful things in life – men of color, dark sense of humor, dark chocolate, brown sugar, black labs, smoky cats, etc.! Who doesn’t like the intensity of these things?!

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  8. I like dark comedy. I like dark coffee and i like dark brooding days. I am not depressed. And here again we go from talking about Joob having a dark side and we end up talking coffee. This whole group has ADD
    Nice post Coot

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  9. That’s how I like my Scotch. Dark, smoky, full of peat and history and unapologetic .
    But that’s just for special occasions. On a daily basis, it’s green tea.
    I know, I have become boring.

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  10. Nothing whatsoever is wrong with you, I say. I personally am suspicious of people who drink the lighter varieties of coffee. And who meander through life not expecting anything wow or interesting… (says the person who doesn’t even DRINK coffee and probably leads the most boring life ever)

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    1. @suburbancorrespondent I found another adult who doesn’t drink coffee – it’s like seeing a spotted talking unicorn!

      Beyond the awful taste, I cannot even stand the smell of coffee. I love Starbucks Chai & teas though but I can’t go inside to order or I’ll toss my cookies. Sometimes I even have to throw away what I order in the drive thru because the cup smells like coffee!

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      1. Yes!!!!! I have to hold my breath and squint my eyes closed when coworkers walk by me with their coffee fumes. The smell….even ground coffee or beans…it chokes and burns my eyes, nose, and soul. Cilantro (fresh or in food, or cooking stage) does the same thing.

        (October is the month I become dramatic on Book of June comments)

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  11. Usually no coffee for me, but if I do have coffee I want lots of cream (lot of fat like me), lots of sugar (me, not so much) and a little light roasted coffee, maybe with a little favoring (vanilla, plain like me). Hope today is a good one for you.

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    1. Just put a scoop of ice cream in a mug, pour some coffee over it and call it breakfast. That’s what I do, anyway. Come to think of it, I came up with this recipe when I dated my own dark, broody 404 Error. That probably means something…

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  12. Shucks, it’s probably just the time of year. I go dark every October and come to the light around March/April.

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  13. Speaking of dark, brooding men, when I was in college there was this beautiful, beautiful guy in one of my classes. I couldn’t stand him personally, but I wanted to take him into a dark alley and have my way with him. I couldn’t understand why I was so attracted to a guy that was totally not my type, and he was a jerk to boot. I chalked it up to pheromones and was happy when the class was over. I like my coffee dark, chocolatey, and cold.

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  14. Personally, I love dark chocolate, but prefer my coffee and men to be medium, maybe because I take them both black *winky eye emoji*

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  15. “What’s the hell is wrong with me?” you ask. Rhetorically, I assume. Because that’s how it works around here. Because we must support June.

    Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with wanting a man to be “intense, dark, and smoky.”

    “Intense” men fall into three groups: The narcissistic, the neurotic, and the insecure. If you want that kind of action, then help yourself to it. It’s easy to find and there’s plenty of it.

    If by “dark,” you mean someone brooding and nihilistic, well I think that sort of speaks for itself. If, on the other hand, you mean a “man of color,” I can point you toward reams of research that consistently shows that WF/BM coupling is the worst of any. For example, in marriage it is more likely to fail than any other. (Interestingly, though, WM/BF marriages have a high success rate.) Women in WF/BM couples are also far likelier to be victims of domestic violence than if coupled with a white or Asian guy. Also — and this will be a shocker — men of west African ancestry (e.g., 95 percent of US black males) — have, on average, smaller penises than white males, although the difference in size is fairly insignificant.

    Finally, “smoky”. I have no idea what the hell you mean by that. Are you looking for an emphysemic? Someone in employed in the fire protection business?

    So, now I’ve done something for you that none of your interwebs pals in this comments section have done: Provided you with data that you can actually use. Because the more you know.

    Now doesn’t that feel better than emotional support? Of course it does. (Cue “Mennonite Annie,” or whatever her name is, to launch into vitriol and invective.)

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    1. Huh, interesting. Especially since I’m a WF in a relationship with a BM that has (so far) lasted over 30 years, including 25 years married.

      Also, now I’m kind of getting that you’re really a very insecure white man, based on all these facts – and the fact that you even mention penis size. Because pretty much every white man I know and who has had the balls to ask me assumes I married my husband due to his penis size.

      Why don’t you get a life and move on from the fact that she rejected you and it has nothing to do with anything other than you’re just an idiot.

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        1. Actually, you didn’t forget to say it. If you had you would have had to say it in your first comment, before June’s reply. Just wanted to point out that your data was flawed.

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      1. @Helen, you know what the data I’ve collected tells me? Men who just offer up information about penises always have the smallest among them.

        My data set has included a diversity of races, ethnicities, ages, build, etc…

        (also fun fact from my data which has been a lot of fun collecting: short stout guys = yes!)

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        1. I wasn’t going to say the same thing!! You can always tell that a guy is tiny because they are the only ones who ever bring it up.

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    2. WTAF?
      I almost have no words. But the few I have are not polite nor are they in agreement with your assessment.

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    3. I read June’s blog to because I care about her and I find her genuine and entertaining to boot. Please take your smarmy, pandering ass with your fake Trump’ish statistics somewhere else please. We don’t need your Data per say. We get enough of that in our real lives. Don’t make it sound like we are all a bunch of Stepford wives when it comes to June cause we are not…..but we are loyal friends and have been around for a long time. So please leave. Now.

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    4. Oh, Velcro. After your completely dumbass, stupid fuck, racist, idiotic vitriol, all I have to say to respond to you is shut the fuck up, nobody wants you here. Go back to your hole, cover up with a warm blanky and be sad once again that nobody wants to play with you. Story of your life.

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    5. Vela, I’m hoping you can stop yourself. This racist “info” is not wanted.

      What is missing in your life that you are trolling here? No more Vela. Get control of yourself.

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    6. Dear @Vela of the “men need data, women need emotions” Vela, the data that I’ve gathered from my research of your comments points to 1) your conclusion is wrong OR 2) you are a woman OR 3) both. You are a Vela Scorned. June didn’t like you and here you are bleeding your emotions all over the place because you are sad about that. My data shows that while the reasons she didn’t like you are surely long but near the top would be that you are a fucking asshole.

      TL;DR: Vela is an asshole.

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  16. I had a deep philosophical comment ready, but I was thrown by the brilliance of the “Vella Korr” comment and I plumb forgot what I was about to say. I hate when that happens.
    Have a good day, June.

    Love,
    Leeuna

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  17. Omg my college years were a sad mess of doomed attraction. Give me your brooding bass players, your erudite English majors, your lost boys with their cool coolness and most excellent kisses. Thank god I woke the eff up…eventually…

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  18. Since we’re using statistics today, did you know that white men are 10x more obsessed with the size of their dick than men of color. Vela, you seem to be a man with lots of smarts, why are white men obsessed with dicks and sizes?

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  19. Vella, I believe we need references. I hope you are preparing your bibliography because I lot of what you say sounds like utter garbage. Sources, please.

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  20. You don’t like the data, so you want to kill the messenger by calling me a “racist”? If something is objectively or statistically true, can it still be “racist”? Apparently, most of you think so. I see this sort of thing everywhere: The victory of sensitivity over truth. It’s killing our society and culture and politics.

    Someone (I think Heather) actually asked for cites supporting my data, so I quickly found a few.

    The higher level of violence in in BM/WF intimate relationships is well established in the social sciences, and is uncontroversial. Here is a link to one of the more recent studies: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3611980/. According to the data summaries published in association with this study,interracial couples, but especially BM/WF couples, “reported higher IPV [intimate partner violence] than monoracial white couples.”

    As far as the higher divorce rate for WF/BM couples (a whopping 200 percent higher than WM/WF) and the much lower one for WM/BF couples (40 percent lower), here’s a chart accompanied by a mostly sympathetic discussion: https://www.quora.com/Why-do-interracial-couples-with-a-white-husband-and-black-wife-have-the-lowest-divorce-rates.

    I won’t go near the penis data since it seems to cause so much hysteria, but I will add that there is an important distinction to be made between men of east African and west African descent. It’s the west Africans who are comparatively (but only marginally) lacking. The east Africans (not much of a presence in the US), on the other hand, are at the top of the chart.

    But then most of you aren’t interested in data, are you? It’s how you FEEL that matters, and not what actually IS. Simply put, I will always take the truth over altruistic impulse because I want to lead an authentic and reality-based existence. I don’t need lies and platitudes and affirmations and safe spaces.

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    1. @Vela, yes penis size can cause hysteria in females, it’s called an orgasm. Have you ever read about those?

      We are very interested in data. We take in data to make rational conclusions. The majority of us have looked at the data you have provided about yourself and we can see what it actually IS. Simply put, and since you want an authentic and reality based experience, you have an egregious personality and we reject you.

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    2. Did you really just say you want to lead an authentic and reality-based existence while hiding behind a fake name? Your autonomy IS your safe space, bro.

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  21. I’ve decided to IGNORE Mr. Korr. There is no way that it should be allowed to overcome June’s blog like an unsightly weed. I will skip past any of it’s future comments.

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    1. I don’t think it’s necessarily the fact that you came on here and started spouting off data and statistics that got us ticked off. It’s the fact that under your fake name you felt safe coming on here to tell June you don’t like her. Why was that even necessary? Just keep it to yourself. I agree with Amish that you seem to be less of a jerk under your Robert name (no clue if that’s who you really are or not). But I just don’t understand why you felt like you needed to come on here and tell June you don’t like her and basically call us all a bunch of emotional suck ups because we actually do like her and we’ve developed a community of sorts here. Maybe I shouldn’t speak for everyone else, but that’s why I told you to fuck off.

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    2. Well. That was supposed be anonymity not autonomy. My entire sassy comment is ruined by autocorrect. I’m a failure.

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  22. It’s disappointing to see these reactions. Mr. Korr seems like an odd and unhappy man, but his interracial divorce and domestic violence statistics are well established. You can Google them – they’re widely available. I can’t vouch for the penis info, but then that’s not my field or particular interest. My field is social psychology, and I can assure you that he’s correct about his info re divorce and violence. If I recall correctly, a white woman and black male pairing is two or three times more likely to experience a divorce than a white female and white male pairing – an astounding difference. White men, however, do very well with black females. They are actually less likely to divorce than a white couple.

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    1. Sigh, indeed. It would be easy for the administrator or moderator of this blog (June) to establish that I am not Vela Korr. I had a WordPress blog years ago, and the moderator is able to see internet location of anyone who posts. So if your accusation is true, June will be able to confirm it easily. Sorry to disappoint.

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  23. But what about strap ons, Celia? Surely there’s a study about strap on sizes and colors and what all. Do tell.

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  24. Puzzling. The small portion of VK’s post that could be called data, accurate or inaccurate, is not “data that [June] can actually use,” unless perhaps she’s writing a paper for her sociology class. National averages do not usefully apply to individual cases.

    Behold another comment that’s essentially supportive of June. How banal and predictable friendship is.

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    1. This is Vela Korr. June has apparently blocked my replies to the comments on this thread, which, of course, is her prerogative. I did, however, want to make clear that I am not the guy whose blog was linked to the Vela Korr name (see “Joan in NV” post above). I put this link in my comments because I thought it might be of interest to June, and did NOT realize that it was going to be linked to my username publicly. So, please don’t send hate email to the poor fellow. He’s not me. I can take the heat, but this guy, an innocent bystander, shouldn’t have to.

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      1. @Robert Zimmerman, please take your emotional outbursts somewhere else. You’ve proven through enough data exactly who you are. I haven’t read the “biting article” that June wrote about you but I can’t imagine that it was biting enough. If you are still this bitter after all this time then perhaps you need to look inward and stop spewing your sad hurt feelings, it’s quite unbecoming. That’s free advice of course so it’s always worth what you paid for it.

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        1. @June

          I attempted to post something at 2:34 PM, and was advised that “Your Comment Is Awaiting Moderation.” It still has not appeared in the Comments.

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      2. Dear Vela,

        As Robert Zimmerman, you seem likable. Perhaps joining us here in comments with the care of words that Robert conveys would be nice.

        Sincerely,
        Mennonite Angie

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      3. Hi Carl. My. My….does your government employer like that you use their computer (or your phone, during work hours) to post racist and misogynist statements to females online?

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  25. @Beverly

    Whoa, I don’t think I ever said, “I don’t like June”. I think I said, “I don’t like her all that much,” while expressing some regard for her abilities as a writer. Sort of like saying, “OK, I’ll go to that Kanye West concert with you, even though I don’t like him all that much.” Which is not the same as saying, “I don’t like him, period.” I also recall that I explicitly wrote that “I do not dislike” June. So we’re talking about a continuum of liking on which I am tilting toward not liking. But who cares? I basically don’t, and I can’t imagine June does, either. But it seems to be a matter of great urgency to the faithful readers of her blog that someone has, uhm, reservations about the author.

    Your explanation for the wrath I have received in these comments seems pretty clear-headed. The “fuck you” thing, though, is always a waste of time. No one ever scores points with it.

    I’m not going to distance myself from my comments (because I agree with everything I wrote), but it does amaze me that no one is catching a certain amount of tongue in cheek, a little irony and playfulness (like the penis data) here and there, maybe some pigtails being pulled. And also that basically y’all proved the point I was making in my original post.

    I get it. This here blog and these here comments are a safe space, and I came in here like a bull in a china shop and knocked over some dishes. Which isn’t the worst thing that could have happened.

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    1. Actually, from the data that I have analyzed, you are the worst thing that could have happened.

      June took in data and decided that she didn’t want to date you.

      Get the fuck over it and quit with your butt hurt feelings.

      You pretend to be data driven as a cover for your seriously butt hurt feelings. You are clearly feeling all over the place. If you were data driven you would have taken in that data that she didn’t like you and go spend time with someone who did. Yet, here you are what, 18 months later and wanting to make sure you say shitty things. Jesus Christ, go cry somewhere else until you understand that June didn’t want to date you. That is all. Get over it. Move on.

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      1. @Green

        Oh, my. You’re so far off the mark. If you’re really interested in what happened between me and June, you can read her (largely accurate, but incomplete) account of it on Purple Clover. I would have a slightly different account of it than hers. I would also recommend reading the Comments under the article.

        I promise if you read it you will hate me even more, which I think you will enjoy. But at least you’ll have some idea about what transpired. For one thing, June and I have never met, and it’s safe to say neither of us would want to. I read her blog because it’s entertaining. She’s a good writer. You’re seeing some kind of angle that doesn’t exist.

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        1. Vella, wow, you have the capacity to be nice. Even your comment above is kinda sorta nice. Your sense of humor seems like it maybe could be a good addition here, we can be a very bitey, filthy, diverse group. The one thing we all have in common here though, is respect, no matter what. You seem to think we all adore June. Well, we do. You are right. Her gift of words unintentionally touches on so many universal themes which is why we are so diverse here which also explains why we get into it with each other sometimes. But we do that while maintaining a baseline of respect. Oh, one other thing you should know, you seem to have all of us pegged as highly emotional. Hmmm, yeah, not for all of us or most of us. Most of us are capable of butchering up a chicken, gutting the insides, roasting that mother****** up over an open fire and feasting on that delicacy for days complimented with a nice bottle of French rose’ of course. Hopefully we will hear more from you. You seem like a decent fellow. Don’t disappoint us.

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          1. Carl, I just read the comments on that article. I’m still underwhelmed. Your intention from the start was to get someone to read those comments. I would never want to interact with you on this blog. You try over and over to upset June. You fail Carl. We can see what you are.
            p.s. Your website suxs.

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        2. p.p.s. Carl (a.k.a. “Vela”),
          Classic Catfish behavior “You’re seeing some kind of angle that doesn’t exist…” Gaslighting your potential victim (s).

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        3. I haven’t read the article because I frankly don’t care. What transpired, as deduced from all the data you have so generously provided here, is that your feelings were hurt and you’re still nursing that hurt 1.5+/- years later. I’m seeing what exactly exists. You like being an asshole. You think it brings you some sort of power. That’s fine, you keep thinking whatever you want in your pretty little head. Maybe try masturbating to visions of your own superiority. That’ll keep you occupied for a bit of time at least.

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    2. Why, when you have the option, do you choose to read here? I’m genuinely curious. This is not the same as attending a concert of an artist you don’t completely adore. In that case you could attend because you like the opening act, or because you just want to spend time with the person who invited you.

      But reading here is a solo act done on free time. It’s not required reading for work, and it’s not mandatory for any reason. If you watch television alone, you can change the channel if you don’t like the show. The same is true for reading anything on the internet.

      So why do you choose to do it when there are many other options for how to spend your free time. Why is your chosen hobby to insult someone and a community? Wouldn’t it be more rewarding to find a group that you do like and agree with and spend your time conversing with them?

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  26. I… I, ummm. I don’t exactly know what to say, because I make it a practice to comment on June’s writing most of the time. However, since the comment section has gone rogue, it would be weird to show up here and say “Well done, Coot.” So. Hmmm.

    Here is what I think. I think when people post things here, like the things that have been posted for the past few days, it really isn’t about June at all. It is about the person who is posting. And, even though I completely understand the mama bear reaction, I think that reaction is expected, and to some extent relished by the person who posted. So. I am not going to respond to that person. I am going to comment on the post. (But, know that the reaction that happens, is totally sticking up for a friend, which I find admirable and how lucky June is to have such wonderful friends. I bet whoever this person is would have been welcomed if they were kind. Kindness counts.)

    ANYWAY….

    I love that cups these days can say just the right thing. I was creating a powerpoint the other day for my class, and came across one…because I was drinking from it…that said just the right thing for my class! It is unfortunate that I don’t know how to post a picture here. Shucks.

    Lovely post, lovely June.

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    1. @Mennonite Annie

      Gosh, coming from the person who was formerly my most ferocious attacker, you’re being pretty darn gracious. But I think I’ll probably maintain a low profile in these Comments in the future. I’ll continue to read the blog, of course. It’s part of my afternoon routine. But I am cognizant that there’s a person who puts a lot effort into this blog, and I don’t want to make things unduly difficult or disruptive. Not that I won’t pop my head in occasionally to do some much-needed mansplaining or maybe to puncture the all-around feel-good vibe of the joint. After all, I’m here to help. Until the proprietor of the joint tells me to skedadle, I’ll still be around, getting amused and annoyed by what I’m reading. When it gets too annoying, I’ll be sure to leave a comment and we’ll probably watch all hell break loose again.

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      1. Sounds like a deal we can all live with! Don’t be a stranger but don’t be a dick either. Smiley face. Seriously, don’t be a dick, though. See ya ’round these parts in the future.

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  27. Can we just block “Velcro” from commenting forevermore? He’s just ruining it for the rest of us.

    June, I just came from seeing The Mountain Between Us, and I have a feeling you’re going to love the movie like I did! A couple of hours of escapism can do all of us good. Glad you have plans to go see it with a friend.

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  28. Why is it when a group of women do not agree with what a man is saying, the whole group of women are immediately and vehemently wrong? We have to be told hold to feel, what to think and how to react.

    Gosh I am so glad Vader came here today so I would know just exactly what I am supposed to feel and think.

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    1. Ah but Bee, I think for the most part, we respectfully follow June’s lead on this and the fact that she hasn’t blocked him yet tells us there is hope he is a decent person, just…needs to understand the rules of engagement here, so to speak. Nobody puts Baby in a corner here, most especially our gal Junie. The only reason I have commented so much today is because today was a slow day with work and my [clearing throat] attention issues may be in overdrive. Also…Vader. Giggling like a schoolgirl.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I am sure there is a reason she didn’t block him. I just don’t like condescending men. Valtrex will need to do a lot of penance to make me look at him different

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  29. Vela has a Silence of the Lambs/Don Knotts combo vibe. I’ll trust the rest of you and follow June’s lead. p.s. I’m not too frightened of him though because he seems like he secretly likes the movie Prince of Tides and every time I see his name I think of Valerie Bertinelli. Cheer up, Vela Lugosi!!!

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