Kahlo of the wild. Or Fridatlanta. What do you want from me. I’m hung over.

Back when I first became a blogging person, in eighteen aught six, someone told me about another funny blogger named Miss Doxie.

What I just did, there, was call myself “funny” again, and that’s twice in a row, now. But I’ve only called myself funny twice since eighteen aught six, so that’s saying something.

The point is, I took to reading the Miss Doxie, and I was what you’d call a big fan. Oh, she was hilarious, and like me, was also incredibly successful and ridiculously pretty.

The day June lost eighteeen aught six readers.

Eventually, Miss Doxie and her long-term boyfriend, who never deserved her, broke up, and she met a new boy, who did. Deserve her, I mean. Whereas the first guy was not as…pretty as she was and also was a commitmentphobe, the new guy was cute cute cute, and proposed in less than two years, I think it was.

Oh, it was exciting when he proposed. So there I was, all caught up in someone else’s life story, and her wedding day was almost as exciting as my own.

cemeterywedding_lytlefoto043She got married in a cemetery, and Dear Miss Doxie: I stole this off the internet please do not arrest me.

The point is, she was someone whose blog I read and occasionally commented on, and then one day in 2011 I was at my lawyer’s office, commencing to get a divorce and I get an email from her.

From her! From Miss Doxie!

I can’t recall what it said, exactly, but I know she told me she read MY stupid blog, and boom, there it was. We became friends. I visited her in Atlanta later that year, and we stayed in touch, and she’d say, You have to come back and visit, and I’d say yeah.

This weekend, she had her annual oh-my-god-this-woman-loves-Halloween Halloween party, and she invited me, and I said, You know what? Hell yes Ima go. So I slapped on some antlers and drove six hours.

img_1467.pngI went as Frida Kahlo. I mean, for Halloween. Not as a houseguest. Yes, I’ll come visit, but you must call me Frida all weekend.

If you’re not familiar with Frida, and really?, you may wonder why I had the antlers going. Sometimes she painted herself with antlers, but I did not have time to search for Frida photos for very long, because it turns out I took 168 pictures this weekend, which took 800 years to upload, it took eighteen aught six hours to upload and oh my god now I’m in a hurry.

IMG_1275.jpgMiss Doxie had moved since I last visited, but as I pulled onto her street, I pretty much knew I’d found her house.

IMG_E1276.JPGNo scary stone was left unturned, man. Miss Doxie is in the details.

IMG_E1334.JPGIMG_E1289.JPGIMG_1291.jpgThe best part was, you never knew which thing was just gonna START ANIMATING when you walked up to it. A bear rug would start roaring and glowing red-eyed at you. A fucking creepy-ass doll would follow you and whisper.

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Or, for that matter…

I got to stay in the guest house, which was pretty cool, man. Miss Doxie is an excellent hostess, on top of all the other, you know, positive qualities and so forth. I eventually retired there to get ready for the shindig, because I’m from eighteen aught six. The jamboree. The gala.

IMG_1310.jpgI remember somebody once telling me that getting ready for the prom was the most fun part of prom. I kind of feel that way about getting ready for a party. This part is just so anticipatory.

IMG_1312.jpgOne hour of makeup, three hours of shopping at basic-girl stores for jewelry, half an hour of Amazon shopping for antlers and flowers, and zero time spent at the waxer this month, and fin. I am Frida. Where is my Diego?

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IMG_1329.jpgIMG_1339.jpgIMG_1318.jpgI was pretty pleased with other people’s costumes, and it should be noted that Doxie’s bartender came, which slayed me, and he was downstairs at her bar and said, “Let me make you an old-fashioned.” Who was I to argue? I’ll tell you who I was to argue. How about an adult who should know her limits? Maybe that’s who I coulda been. Later, a friend of Doxie’s said, Let me make you a spiced rum-and-cider drink. Who was I to argue?IMG_1451.jpgOh, June. That’s not actually a person, June.

I was having a high time, till somewhere around midnight, that six-hour drive and oh, possibly the eight gallons of alcohol hit me, and I was bone tired. Tired. In m’bones. I tried to go tell Doxie I was wandering back to my Fonzie guest house, but she was saying goodbye to people at the door.

I got in my pajamas and as I told her the next day, left a Shroud of Turin on her washcloth, washing off that Frida makeup.

I was just drifting off when my phone buzzed. “We’re just girls left, and we’re having girl wine!” Doxie texted me. “I’m already in my pa” I wrote back, then fell into a dead sleep till morning.

Turns out, she stayed up till 4. FOUR! Who is a pussy? Is it me?

IMG_1463.jpgEven little girls drank harder than me. Had I had any more alcohol, I’d have been less Oz and more paging Dr. Oz. So.

IMG_1284.jpgIMG_1283.jpgThe point is, I survived, and got to kibitz with her dogs, and her spouse, and her people, and it was so worth driving 12 hours in one weekend.

And the possible alcohol poisoning.

Now tomorrow I gotta, you know, put that outfit on again, as it is actually Halloween.

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But I can do it. I’m not a Frida-cat.

Self-portraitly,

Traveling June

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Miss Doxie, the very reason I have a “June doesn’t know any ugly people” category.
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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

43 thoughts on “Kahlo of the wild. Or Fridatlanta. What do you want from me. I’m hung over.”

  1. So fun to read about you getting up with Miss Doxie. I also loved her blog, back in the day. I think it’s actually how I found your blog. I follow her on her social media now, and she still makes me laugh. I’m jealous that you got to meet Mooose and Gimme!

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    1. What’s her social media? I too loved her and miss reading her! And found Joon via missdoxie too. Basically her and you, Joon brings so much joy to my life.

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      1. She’s on Facebook and Instagram, I think as Leigh Tyson. She’s probably on Twitter too, but I don’t have enough time in my day to play with Twitter.

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  2. I had the vapours, so excited was I about your visit with Miss D and her Halloween party. I’d drive to earth’s end to attend that shindig.
    My two favourite non bloggers together again. Can just imagine the fun y’all had.
    Your costume was perfect, Coot.
    Miss D and her handsome man have got to be the best hosts ever.
    Mooose!

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  3. Nice post Frida Coot. What a fun party. I love cool parties but as an introvert would have sat next to Mr Bones all night trying not to make eye contact.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a cool fun spooky party! MISS DOXIE COME BACK TO NON-BLOG LAND!

    Well done, Coot. Froot. Frida Coot.

    I may be a bit hungover myself. Had a jelly filled donut for breakfast and gave myself the sugars.

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  5. Did you win the prize for the best costume? Sounds like a really great weekend, well worth the drive. Are you wearing that to dance class tonight?

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  6. That house and those decorations are out of this world. Miss Doxie is hilarious (I read her a bit too). She is stunning as well. You looked incredible. I am glad you had such a great weekend!

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  7. Is there ANYTHING Miss Doxie doesn’t do perfectly? I want to hate her, but I can’t. I adore her, her husband (that last boyfriend … don’t get me started), her dogs, her family, her home…. I want to be Miss Doxie when I grow up.

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  8. Trick or Treat. Happy Halloween. How June got her groove back.
    Miss Doxie did it , so will you… Find someone who deserves you and will make you happy.
    You and Frida are almost twins in the picture….you must have eaten YOUR cupcakes off of your necklace before the photo.
    Dorothy in the fridge and the shoes as well.
    All the costumes and decorations …looks like fun.
    That is just what a girl needs …a bartender offering drinks. Oh, yes.
    Good thing you only had to walk home.

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  9. Nice post, Frida. Though I did want picture captions. What was with the dude in white? Also, too? I don’t know from Miss Doxie. Stampeding off to search… I found you through the Zadge. I miss the Zadge.

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  10. I’m excited that you came to Atlanta for Miss Doxie’s incredible Halloween party. The weather here was spooky with the rain and wind, but it, obviously, didn’t spoil your weekend. Very nice costume, Coot. Looks like a fabulous time was had by all.

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    1. You know what I forgot to mention? In her FABULOUS back yard that has ITS OWN PARK, there was a fire pit, and I had to pass it to go to my Fonzie guest house. At the end of the evening, I passed everyone out there, and noted a guy, a drunk guy, with an ax, trying to chop a huge log. In my, you know, state, I was all, hunh.

      It was only the next morning, when Doxie and I were out there, that I said, Oh, you know what? There was a very drunk large man with an ax out here last night, trying to split wood. That should have alarmed me more than it did. And she was all, We don’t even HAVE wood. Like, did he chop down a TREE? We don’t know.

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  11. I saw Miss Doxie and that awful ex-boyfriend in public once but was too much of a wuss to introduce myself. She’s way too purdy. I’m glad you had a great time!

    Very nice, Coot.

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  12. What a great post! Miss Dixie’s decorations were fabulous and scary. Glad Frida had such a wonderfully exciting weekend.

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  13. Such cool pictures! I love the contrast of ghostly Doxie and colorful Frune. Also, her house is gorgeous and that bar, wow!

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  14. OOOH so jealous of you am I! I just loved Miss Doxie, and I’m pretty sure I found you through her, for that I am grateful. I’m so glad you got to get together!

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  15. Even pale and ghostly she is still gorgeous. Looks like it was a fabulous party. Everyone always says, Halloween is for the kids. Really, it’s for the adults.

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  16. Sounds like a fabulous weekend, June. I love Miss Doxie. What a beautiful home! Your Frida Freaking Kahlo costume is fantastic. Love the eyebrows.

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  17. What a cool party; it looks like it was well worth the drive. You rocked the costume, June. Miss Doxie marrying in a cemetery has me intrigued. Version 2.0 proposed to me in the cemetery, but we were married elsewhere.

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  18. “You can’t get rid of me. I’ll be with you for Ever.” Although clowns and bisque-head dolls never bothered me as a child, I am a Halloween/scary movie wimp, but what a great post about a fantastic party–so glad you got to go, Frida!

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  19. June, your costume is so fabulous! How nice to have a weekend get-away. I need one of those. It’s good for the soul.
    Miss Doxie’s house is incredibly decorated! Where does she store all that stuff in the off season?

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  20. That party is like something out of a movie. I can’t imagine throwing a party at that level but I think it’s fabulous that you went! I had never heard of Frida, but you look like the many photos I saw “on the google” as you do.

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  21. Thanks for sharing your adventure. I have today off from work, but I could have been sneaking a peak at your blog (on my phone) in the Ladies Room. I try to have “Media” on silence…but…this time when I clicked on that witch video .. Well can you imagine that SHRIEK coming out of a stall?
    P.S. I rescued a kitten that was hiding under a horse water trough. Some ass abandoned her. She sounded like a bird screaming for help. “Lucy” is doing fine; I think she’s about three months old.

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  22. My brain never being in exactly the place I last left it, I found myself cheering your ability to return trip home to anywhere other than hell with a hangover, and zooming in on your makeup products. Plus, googling antlers on Amazon.

    When I re-read your post after chasing shiny objects, I realized how really good it was. And talk about costume ideas!

    Plus, Laura Geller.

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  23. Blood is still oozing out my ears from having my headphones turned ALL THE WAY UP when I clicked on that first video. You looked fantastic as Frida. I don’t know from Miss Doxie, but she has an amazing house and an amazing face and amazing decorations.

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