Does my new computer make me look fat? I like how there's a Kleenex on one of my computers. You know I hate to mention it, but I have a cold. Anyway, you can't tell if my new Mac makes me look fat yet because you will be stunned to hear I'm having trouble migrating … Continue reading Should auld acquaintance be annoying
What are we on? Like, day 193 of this cold? That's my estimate. Yesterday at work, I minced over to one of the seven people who are actually working this week, and announced, "I have a cold." I may've even brought m'Kleenex box over, for dramatic effect. Which should be the title of my book: … Continue reading For Dramatic Effect
I hate to burst in and destroy your 2018, like Godzilla stomping through your city, but I have a cold. My throat hurts, I'm all achy, my ears have that thing where they itch way on the inside and you can't scratch them cause it's really your brain that itches or whatever. You'd think my … Continue reading Sufferin’ Juneotash
I just logged onto Facebook for literally one minute, saw I had SEVENTEEN PERSONAL MESSAGES ON MESSENGER and deactivated again. I keep saying this, and I'll say it again. PLEASE don't message me there. A crazy person left me some messages there in October and November, and they really bothered me. Please don't give me … Continue reading Just a reminder
Welp. Christmas. We got through it, and now my throat hurts, so the one holiday I can kind of get behind, New Year's, will be rooooooooned. Do you know people who pronounce ruined like that? "Rooooooned." I think Marvin did. The memory is starting to escape me, like Kate Winslet and Jim Carey on the … Continue reading Oh, did sleigh bells ring? I had my ringer off.
Hey, June, why so destined for hell? So Christmastime is here, as the Peanuts would say high-pitchedly, and here's what I've done thus far... Yesterday, I got this urge to clean the house. I don't know why. Maybe I'm pregnant and nesting or something miraculous like that. Maybe I'm about to give birth in a … Continue reading Because Prosecco
People at work don't like me. I know I always joke about it, but people at work really don't like me. Things have changed. The teams and how we work, it's all different, and the once-tight-knit group I was a part of either no longer work there or sit far away, and things have...changed. Which … Continue reading Have yourself a merry little…
I woke up at 2:53 a.m. today, with a migraine. I attribute this to having gotten up at 5:30 yesterday, to go to damn Purrrrre Barrrrre, and one wonders why I think I need to work out when I already look Like This. Anyway, my sleep pattern was messed up, which is a migraine trigger, … Continue reading Astro surf and turfing
In a stunning display of self-centeredness, and in preparation for my move to another computer, I looked through the webcam photos I have here and came to the conclusion that my six years with ("with") Ned have aged me. Above, I had talked to Ned online, but not dated him yet. On my way to … Continue reading June ages, like a fine wine. Or a bottle of ripple you leave out too long.
Remember the guy at work who gave me the eagle calendar last year? I'm tryina find a picture of him but OH MY GOD with this slow computer, which is my other news. Here he is. He's had several funny lines on this here not-blog through the years, and anyway my point is, he brings … Continue reading Going Ham
I feel like no one reads me anymore. I mean, "no one" is a stretch, but there are definitely fewer people around here, at least comment-wise. I know back in this not-blog's heyday, like 2011-2012-ish, I'd get hundreds of comments, and around 2,000 readers a day. But then sitemeter died, and we in the not-blogging … Continue reading IRL
What's more interesting: Today's riveting lip color in Curviest Caramel or my foster kitten? She gotses a cold! And if you'd been around me all weekend, you too could have heard JUNE'S ASSHOLE KITTEN VOICE! Shelter kittens get upper respiratory infections a lot lot lot, so I'm not surprised she has one, and I left … Continue reading Hey, ya like cats? Cause we got a post about cats for ya.
Aw, hell. I let only Edsel in. SD is out buying artillery.
When I was a kid, there were two girls down the street who'd been adopted. Their names were Didi and Barbie, and I don't know if they were acquired from the Michigan Orphanage o'Future Strippers or what with those names. The point is, I desperately wanted to be adopted as a result. It sounded so … Continue reading June Gardens, foster mother
I wish more things could hurt on my body today. Stupid Pure Barre. Also? It turns out? When you get up at 5:20 and you're used to around, oh, 7:00-ish, you feel really tired all day. Just a little news flash for ye. "Ye." Because suddenly I'm in biblical times. Anyway, Bathsheba, before I forget … Continue reading When Grape-Up Becomes a Thing
A good part about how they've put me on multiple accounts at work is that I've gotten to know more coworkers who aren't Griff. Also, I've gotten to know people I've worked with all these years, but rarely talked to because we weren't on the same account. It can get (ready?) siloed at work. One … Continue reading Drivin’ all the old men crazy.
It will be 11 years Friday that I've done this dang...website. Other than June's Live Sex Tape, I've pretty much done it all on this thing. [Considers June's Live Sex Tape.] [Step one: Get sex life.] When we left each other yesterday, dabbing at our eyes the annoying way the Real Housewives do: dab, dab … Continue reading June does her makeup and talks to you. Yes, again.
If I spent as much time trying to cure world hunger as I did looking for tweezers, we'd all be trying to lose a few. The whole world. A worldwide, literal Whole 30. Jesus. And reading glasses. I'll go into a room, and all that will be lying around will be real glasses. I don't … Continue reading Gettin’ above my richer raisin
It's Monday at lunch, and I tried to write you all this morning, but stuff kept happening and I never got around to it. But here I am! The one that you love! Asking for another dayyyyy. In case you were gone this weekend, or trying heroin or the FedEx delivery man, I wrote about … Continue reading Noon June