June's stupid life

June Gardens, foster mother

When I was a kid, there were two girls down the street who’d been adopted. Their names were Didi and Barbie, and I don’t know if they were acquired from the Michigan Orphanage o’Future Strippers or what with those names.

The point is, I desperately wanted to be adopted as a result. It sounded so dramatic. Also, they had been foster children, and I thought that sounded pretty cool, too.

“Can I be a foster child?” “I want to be adopted.” I would say harangue my parents endlessly.

This prompted my father, who never should have been given a child to fuck with, the idea of telling me that he kept a foster child in his tripod case. “I take her on my trips with me,” he would tell me.

My father was a photographer, and was forever going on these business trips to exciting places like Cleveland, and he always took with him a tripod case that was about the same height I was.

I kind of knew he was fucking with me, and that he had zero coveted foster children anywhere, but I also slightly believed him. When he wasn’t looking, I used to kick that tripod case, just in case that foster bitch was in there.

The point of my story is that I have my own little tripod case now. Last week, on one of my days off, I went to the animal shelter because I am an idiot who does things like go to the animal shelter for fun.

They needed volunteers to foster their puppies and kittens, and we all know how well it goes when I bring home a puppy, but I figured I could bring home a kitten or 12.

This is Jodie Foster. She is my first foster child. It occurs to me now I should have named her Didi or Barbie.

She is a little boop.

I got her at the animal shelter first thing this morning, before they even officially opened, and I was so excited to get her home that I failed to ask many questions. I know she was a stray, but I don’t know what her backstory is.

She’s too young to really be adopted, and she needed a nice home to stay in rather than the stressful shelter.

Here is what I know about her so far. She has pretty much not sit still since I put her in this room. I have to keep her separate from my regularly scheduled cats, so she will be in my main bedroom with the huge walk-in closet. There are tons of places to climb, and warm place to sleep, and these are the two warmest rooms in the house for some reason.

None of my other animals have even noticed there’s a new pet here.

Jodie Foster caught her reflection in the mirror in here and got all puffy. That was hilarious. And while she still isn’t sitting still, she is spending a lot of time cuddling with me.

Here are the things I know you were going to say: June, you are not going to be able to return this cat. You are going to adopt her.

But I know I’m not. I have enough animals. I really can’t afford another one. And I really don’t want to be the person with four fucking cats. This is just something I wanted to do because it’s a nice thing, and I love getting some kitten strange.

I have a lot of freelance work to do today, and some Christmas shopping to get done, which I guess I’m going to be doing online in this room.

This is actually a great excuse to isolate. Go, me!

In a whole circle of life thing, NedKitty did meet her maker last night. I went over to Ned’s house, and was there while it happened. She died on Ned’s lap.

Here’s another thing I know you’re going to say: Ned will take this kitten. He won’t. In a million years, he won’t. He so isn’t ready.

But I say, one’s always ready for some kitten strange.

59 thoughts on “June Gardens, foster mother

  1. First of all: JODY FOSTER! That face! That NAME! Oh, my!

    Second of all…I want to cuddle her.

    Third of all: And smooch her.

    Finally: You are both adorable, coot.

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  2. Jody Foster is just the cutest little bug!
    Good for you June, taking that sweet little muffin in to prepare her for a world of lovin’.

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  3. Oh, Joon! You are so kind and brave. I help tend the little kittenses at the cat shelter and it takes all of my strength not to bring somebody home with me. Especially when he or she climbs up my shirt, purring, mewing and just wanting to cuddle. Thank you for helping little Jodie Foster there get ready for her new people. “Regularly scheduled cats.” Bah!

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  4. Adorable. And you are in a whole lotta trouble lady. Kitty already has you wrapped around her little paw. Great snuggle photos. Anne

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  5. Oh emmmm geeeeee. Jodie Foster!! She’s a doll baby.
    Oh, how I jumped and gasped and kind of pulled on the edge of my hair when I read the news about NedKitty. I’m so sorry for you and Ned. She lived a good, long life.

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  6. Go, beautiful June! That’s one adorable kitty! I think a kitten (quality cat time) is always in fashion…sort of like leopard never goes out of style.

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  7. Jodie Foster, what a lovely and unexpected Saturday surprise. She is a lucky little kitty to be fostered by you and your crew.

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  8. We’ve fostered about a dozen kittens. Except for the fact that young kittens are disgusting with their lack of litter box use, fostering is the best. Cute kittens to cuddle with no long commitment? Awesome! Giving them back was much easier than I️ thought it would be.

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  9. It is good for the soul to have a kitten.
    This way you get to enjoy the kitty stage and tame her down for her new family.
    My niece always came out to “tame down” our kitties. She thought all the snuggling done by her with them had to be done by someone and she loved the job! As I am sure you will.

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  10. Itty bitty witty kitty I wuv you soooooooooooo!!!!!!! Jooooooon, itty bitty witty kittys are pooooooison, I tell you, they’re poooooooooison. Therefore you must give her up. To me. I wuuuuuuuuv her so!!!!

    You can scrape yourself off the ceiling now from my grammar. I’m done.

    No I’m not!!! I give her itty bitty earsies kisses all over her schmooshy wooshy love kitten ears!!!

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  11. Welcome, Jodie Foster! You have lucked out with the Gardens’ household.

    She is adorable. What a face!

    RIP Ned Kitty.

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  12. Good for you!! It’s a nice feeling to know that you’re helping an animal in need. I’m really happy for you.

    My husband and I started fostering a couple of years ago. We take the seniors and the hospice pups. Not everyone can do that but we can. It’s super sad when we lose one but I wouldn’t trade my time with them for anything. I’ve loved them all so deeply. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I hope you feel the same way. You’re a good egg, June Gardens.

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  13. How long before SD lets her out and you find the two of them snuggled up like best friends? And you know he wouldn’t let you return her if that happened!

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  14. OH MY GOODNESS! She is sooo cute! You said Ned would never adopt her, but has he seen her? How can you resist that sweet face?

    I thought about you, Ned and NedKitty yesterday. RIP.

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  15. What an adorable kitty! I fostered a Siamese male last year, for 5 months; someone abandoned him in my driveway around Halloween. He was about 13 months old when I found his permanent home. It was with a couple whose 16 year old male Siamese has passed away recently. I missed him, but in a good way. But my Maine Coon did not like him and I had to keep them separated.

    A few days before Halloween this year, another kitten was abandoned on my driveway. He is about four months old. My cat alternately loves/tolerates/is annoyed by the kitten. And even plays with him…I am shocked

    I’m keeping this one.

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  16. This is an excellent thing!

    You’ll give her an amazing start, and her forever family (I refuse to say fur-ever) will appreciate that Jodie is down with dogs and cats in a home!

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  17. Gooooo kitten strange! lol

    Good for you on being a foster kitty parent. It’s good for the soul stuff, and a real test of one’s willpower. Both!

    Love the story, and love Jodie!

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  18. On a totally unrelated note I love the cut given to you by your last stylist. It makes sense to me that all hairdressers can’t do the whole procedure. We need specialist for the cutting and coloring . I understand that it can be expensive but spread it out a specialist can give you the right cutting and coloring and actually save you money because you aren’t running back every four weeks to correct something from the last time. Hang in there, you’re worth it. At a certain age our hair is about all we have working for us..

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  19. A Christmas kitty act of kindness. I don’t know how furry foster parents do it so that is why I volunteer at the Humane Society. I am an adoption assistant where I have adopters finish up their paperwork and hand over their new little friend. It’s the greatest feeling. Best of luck to you with your new little boop.

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  20. Oh please, like SD hasn’t already had deep hour long discussions with Jodie behind your back. He totally knows she’s there.

    My father used to tell me they found me at the doorstep with a note from the Indians. He also used to tell me they dropped me and that’s why I had a crack on my bottom. I believed all of this. I now believe my father should not have had a 3rd kid.

    That kitty is adorable. And so not gray!

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  21. I had a cat named Tori who eerily resembled Jodie Foster. He followed the kids home from school to my babysitter’s house. She kept him in the mud room as he was infested with fleas. The kids found him Torrington Ave., this his name was Tori.
    Also, too. I live in Cleveland, but never met a foster kid who lived in a tripod case.
    One more long, drawn out thing. I became a grandmother at 49 years old. I really didn’t dig the thought of being called, grandma, so we came up with Mimi. My SO is, DiDi.

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  22. Oh my, Jodi Foster kind of looks like Henry, my favoritest of all your cats. (don’t tell the others) What a wonderful thing to do. I would love to foster but I don’t think I could let them go. I get attached too easily. That’s probably why I’ve been married four times.

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  23. Oh thank GOD. For a second there I thought you had gotten yourself a HUMAN child.

    Jodie Foster is perfect! Love love love her tiny little face!

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  24. Congrats on your temporary holiday guest. It sounds like you’re prepared and a good way to give back over the holidays; too often the animals can be lost in the shuffle over breaks. I know most people like to give fun toys to the cute kids but we go for paper towels and dog food for the shelter or the homeless vet with an adorable (devoted) dog.

    Loaner Kitten has a little bit of SD in the eyes…will she find the trap door in the room or figure out how to take the window frame off?

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  25. Yay for you, and yay for Jodie! You will be able to make a difference in a lot of kitties lives!

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  26. Jody Foster!

    Aww, baby kitty baby! Edsel will plotz with joy when he finally catches on. He does love him the pussy…cat.

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