June ages, like a fine wine. Or a bottle of ripple you leave out too long.

In a stunning display of self-centeredness, and in preparation for my move to another computer, I looked through the webcam photos I have here and came to the conclusion that my six years with (“with”) Ned have aged me.

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January 14, 2012

Above, I had talked to Ned online, but not dated him yet.

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St. Patrick’s Day, 2012. 

On my way to a date with another dude, above, as Ned had said he “wasn’t ready” for exclusivity.

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Christmas of 2012

I think at first, as I got all in love and shit, I started to look better.

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Our one-year anniversary, where I remember hoping he’d not bring up any ex-girlfriends all night. He did.

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St. Patrick’s Day 2013. 

Even though I’m all Cell Block H here, I was really happy then.

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Spring of 2013

See?

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January 2014

Right around our two-year anniversary. Is this obsessive, what I’m doing?

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October 2014

We’d moved in together, and trouble was already brewing. We had a terrible blowout on day three. I don’t mean we both got our hair straightened at the hairdresser’s, which woulda been more fun.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR! In jail.

I spent Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve in my room, as we fought both those holidays. I’ve no idea why I took a photo of this miserable moment, but I did. I watched Google count down the year from my computer.

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July 2015

My 50th birthday. Half the time I was deliriously in love and the other half I was in fekking agony.

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December 2015

Oh, look, I’m home. Home to Tara. Months from my beloved dog dying. Maybe that’s what aged me.

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July 2016

See? Lookin’ sorta old. Maybe it’s just cause I AM old and has nothing to do with emotional strain. Maybe I’m making all this up.

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Cell Block St. Patrick’s Day 2017

What’s with me and all the morose photos on St. Patrick’s Day? And why do I stampede to my webcam on that holiday? Luck o’the Apple to ya.

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December 2017

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just m’insides that got old and I don’t look as dreadful as I thought.

2012–2017.

Anyway. Have you seen enough photos of me today? Or do you hope for more?

We had our team Christmas party after work yesterday; the creative team, I mean.

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Oh thank baby and advanced-age, curvier Jesus. A photo of someone else.

That up there is m’coworker Essence, and I did not just use the random name generator or anything. I like her, and I like her earrings maybe more than is healthy.

Am I going to hell for saying, “Advanced-age, curvier Jesus”? Jesus is really embracing his curves.

IMG_2964.jpgAdvanced-age, curvier June’s plate. I’d like you to admire the plates, as I brought them, along with the matching napkins. Yep. June. Brings so much to a party.

IMG_2959.jpgIt was nice to see everyone; some even came from our other offices and so on.

But I had to skedaddle out of there fairly early, as I had promised The Other Copy Editor I’d head back to her B&B last night for Wine Wednesday, because last week she was too busy to really talk to me. She and I got there at about the same time, and said one word to each other before…

IMG_2972.JPG…we noticed 14 of the Alexes were also there. So we went to one of the rooms, we got a room, as it were, and chatted and giggled and did not at all gossip or discuss sex ad nauseam, as girls do.

TinaDoris, there, second from the right, is who I’ve been going to Pure Barrrrrre with, and yes, I got up with her at 6:00 today and pured our bars already. So once again, we have a Thursday where I’ve packed a lotta living into one day.

IMG_2970.jpgOh, and I almost forgot. At lunch yesterday, I schlepped Jodie Foster back to the shelter, in what is a rapid, convenient drive down the not-at-all-most-congested street in town. She had to get her shots, and I wanted that cold checked out.

She’s fine, but they did give her antibiotics just to be safe. And today I heard big old robust Steely Dan coughing, and I just felt terrible about it. I love that cat so bad.

Speaking of which, Ned called to say he got NedKitty’s remains yesterday. He walked into the vet’s, hoping to see, “Bee or Doris,” he said, like I’d know who they are.

“They’ve seen me come in for years with Murphy,” he said, and yes, that was her real name, “and I was hoping we could talk about her or something.”

Instead, a person he didn’t know handed over DeadKitty, and “no one gave me a hug or anything,” Ned said. It would appear he’s not doing well with the death of that cat.

Meanwhile, he’s still aging me, so.

I gotta get dressed. I got some StitchFix stuff I wanted to show you, but that damn Iris has been sleeping, unmoving, on my wrist this whole time and she is IRKING ME and I have a cramp.

Oh, hell, I gotta take a lipstick picture, don’t I? Okay, I have NO OTHER MAKEUP ON, so be kind. This is Roomiest Rose. What’s with all the big names lately?

IMG_2976.JPGThanks, June. Helpful photo.

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Ah, okay.

I added panicked mascara. And got some in my damn hair. Why do I bother?

Talk to you later. Maybe later we can get together and look at photos of me.

XO,

June

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

48 thoughts on “June ages, like a fine wine. Or a bottle of ripple you leave out too long.”

  1. I am not sure which lipstick I am loving the most, yet – how many are left, and which one do YOU like best? (which one(s) are you getting compliments on, from those lucky folks who get to see and know you IRL?)

    Happy Thursday!

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  2. Dear June,
    it IS 5 years later …we have all aged.
    As will happen , if we don’t bite the dust.
    You are still beautiful. You look like you feel better generally. You know, just what you shared with us of the relationship …it was hard, is what I am saying.
    Fostering a kitty will help. So, keep the kitties lined up to stroll on through the Gardens garden.

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  3. I do be same thing, look through old photos of myself and my points of reference are relationship things. I can now tell how unhappy I looked without realizing how unhappy I actually was at that time. The denial runs strong with me. Once I got out of that miserable marriage I can tell I started to look happier.
    The picture of you during the horrible fight New Year’s Eve breaks my heart.
    I think you are one of the women that look better as you age, just look at your hair alone, I think it keeps looking better and better! The rest of you does too! No reason to be so hard on yourself.

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    1. Don’t forget to go through June’s Amazon link to do all your shopping to help thank her for being there .
      Thanks June!

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  4. I think I am going to like the first half of the lipstick shades the best. I feel like today’s color is turning the corner to more harsh colors. I like the picture of you on St. Patrick’s Day 2017 better than the first picture in the series. So, you have aged in a good way on the outside. But, more importantly, you have aged in a good way on the inside. What’s that saying? With age comes wisdom or something like that.

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  5. I VEHEMENTLY disagree about your aging hypothesis. You look hottest (in my opinion) July 2017 and St. Patrick’s Day 2017. I think NOT being with Ned has served you well!!

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  6. Yeah, I’m not seeing the aging thing. Joob is so pretty. You do look like a different person with your hair all blown out. That’s a cool look. I imagine a lot of work though.

    Will SD have to get antibiotics? I mean, it’s just like a cat cold, right? Poor sick kitties. Did you tell them JF escaped and joined the masses or is that our little secret?

    I should ask more questions, is what I should do.

    Very nice, Coot.

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  7. I think you look better now! As for Steely Dan, I think I’ve said this before but you’ve got a children’s book series practically writing itself here. Steely Dan’s Neighborhood. Steely Dan, Magic Cat. Steely Dan, Foster Dad. There, I got it started for you. All you have to do is finish it up and rake in the money!

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  8. i like today’s lip color.

    honestly? i love love the st patty’s day, black and white, joob. to me it looks like that was the moment that your body showed up in alignment with your emotional disconnect with ned. it shouts “look at me fuckers!”

    but that’s just me,

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  9. Did you and all the Alexes talk to get that color & polka-dot coordinated look? Very nicely done.

    Also, l like yesterday’s lips and today’s as well. I guess I’m not so into the nude colors, as I have normal to thin lips like you, and more color is more of statement. My favorite Clinique color of all time was Raspberry Glace. My blonde friend wore it as well, l’m a brunette, and it looked good on both of us, which doesn’t seem to happen a lot with the lipstick.

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  10. I think you look just as pretty now as you did when you first started up with Ned.

    Your hair is gorgeous, too. I’m a curly girl as well, and your pictures make me jealous.

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  11. I prefer the lip color in the first more washed out lips pursed picture. You look great with pursed lips, BTW. You are hot and keep yourself up so well. Lines happen. I get lines on my forehead now that I never had until recently and I despise them. I remind myself of the grinch now. I get the botox thing now. Say now again. My oily, big pored, blotchy skin wrinkled later than some. I feel like I have way more wrinkles above the eye that had that cataract surgery. I wonder if that is a real thing? And what is up with me the color ho only wanting muted lip colors? My 70 year old favorite aunt still wears the bright colors and pulls them off. They are on a cruise in the Western Carribean on that cruise line and I am worried about the bus crash. They would be all over seeing those Myan ruins.

    I prefer your hair curly. Curly hair is mega sexy in my book. I would never straighten it if I were blessed with it.

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  12. This may irritate you. Most people are going to say you look pretty (which you do). I think you have always been pretty. Even though, 5 years have passed, and you do look a little different, you look better. Somehow, you look softer, more relaxed, and much better. Maybe, being away from Ned has helped.

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  13. You’re looking great as usual! I don’t see the aging thing at all. If you knew me IRL you’d know that I’m not considered to be a kind person. I’m not cruel, but I’m straightforward, so you can make the assumption that I’m not saying that to be kind.
    Love this post and love seeing that kitty.

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  14. Seriously, my friend, everyone looks different in different photos. You are comparing your image in two photos that were taken in completely different light and at different angles. I do not think you have “aged” in the past five years. Well, maybe a little, but we’re supposed to age. You take really good care of yourself and have definitely minimized the aging process. I see tension in you in the photos from the awful Ned days, and much more relaxation in the newer photos. The ultimate relaxation photos, however, are those with Jodi Foster. It reminds me of a time when I was seeing a therapist and had to bring my nephew with me. He was less than a year old (my nephew, not the therapist) and we had just come from the park. My therapist said he had never seen me more relaxed during therapy. Of course, I was relaxed…I had a beautiful baby in my arms. Also, as an aside, I haven’t disliked any of the lipsticks so far. Clearly you are the one person in the world who can wear any color and look fabulous! Don’t let the holidays get you down…come to Delaware and visit me, if you want. We will drink copious amounts of wine.

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  15. I haven’t said RIP Nedkitty. RIP nedkitty. I kinda loved her. And you just don’t look any older to me either, so I think you just FEEL older, but agree with the others that you look happier.

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  16. When I pucker my lips like that my daughter says my mouth looks like a cat butt.

    You look sad in the Ned years pictures not old. I hope 2018 is a kick ass year for you!!

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  17. You look exactly the same so shut up about looking old! You do not!

    I finally caught up on reading. Hey, it’s the busiest time of the year! That’s why your numbers might be low. There is something about the way the posts are now that makes for a lot of scrolling back and forth. I think it’s because the link to the comments is at the top and not after you read the post. I don’t know, might be me. I’m a little edgy. My holiday online shopping has been full of glitches and it’s stressing me out. Merry frickin’ Christmas!

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  18. Today’s lipstick chubby was a good one. I still think yesterday’s was the best so far. But none of these are slouches. Maybe I should go get me a pack of chubby sticks?

    Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!!

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  19. I think you’ve aged appropriately for the amount of time that has passed. If you can even call it aging. I mean, I would need to enlarge those photos and use a magnifying glass to really see anything. But I completely get what you mean. There’s this one picture of my mother taken just before my father finally left for good and was running around with yet another one of his skank ho-ho-hos. To this day, I can see the pain on her face and the hell he had literally put her through.

    Also, on a personal note, I feel like I’ve aged the fastest in my 50’s. It’s like suddenly my entire face and body decided to be tired and lie down.

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  20. You look great! I’m a little jealous, because I always look incredibly haggard in photos. I have to assume I don’t look that way in real life, or people would be screaming in fright whenever I would venture outside my house.

    But what’s with all the polka dots in the group picture? Are they coming back in fashion? I haven’t worn them since I was 12, and my mother bought matching mother/daughter dresses for us to wear to a bridal shower. 1975, people – it was weird back then.

    And where does the phrase polka dots come from, anyway?

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  21. That is a really good color for you. Yesterday and today’s colors have been the best for you.

    That Happy New Year In Jail almost made me cry. You can just see the pain in your face.

    Gurl, you are still hot! You look just as hot as all those young chicks in that line up at the party. Tina Doris is a petite lady, unless you are extra tall.

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  22. I like this lipstick best. It’s cheerful. I feel like I hit the wall when I got to my 50’s. As a fair haired person, all that sun in 80’s is taking its toll.

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  23. OK, finally something I know a little about. As a hetero man I’ve been watching how women age for over twenty years. It’s fascinating.

    Here are some of my observations:

    (1) There is huge variability. Some women are finished in the looks department by the time that they are in their early-40s. Other women (although a very small minority) thrive as late as their early fifties (this requires good genes and great effort).

    (2) It is unusual for a woman to retain much beauty beyond her mid-fifties. Menopause takes its toll.

    (3) Although women naturally age more poorly than men — you can blame it on thinner facial skin — American women also work harder at retaining a youthful appearance than American men, so they actually do marginally better than men in retaining attractiveness into their fifties.

    (4) I believe that there are three factors that influence how well a woman’s face ages in her fifties and beyond: First, the relative presence/absence of wrinkles; second, the thickness of her hair; and, third, the thickness of the fat layer under the skin on her face. The rare woman who hits the trifecta — few wrinkles, thick hair, and retention of a decent fat layer in her facial skin — will age exceedingly well. A woman who has none of these qualities will age dismally, even if she was highly attractive in her twenties. Even if a woman has just one of these qualities, she has some “protection” against premature “hagdom.” A woman with two of these qualities will normally do fairly well.

    (5) The most important of these three traits is thick hair. A woman with thick hair can look younger than most of her peers even if she has quite a few wrinkles and a depleted layer of fat under her skin. Thin hair is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a woman as she ages.

    (6) Women who were quite “average looking” in their youth can age very well if they have all three (or even two) of these traits. I’ve seen this over and over again. That average looking girl with a roundish face and slightly chubbier cheeks (more fat under the skin) and out-of-control/wavy/thick hair in high school can look fantastic in her early-50s, while the thin-faced, sun-worshipping, straight-haired pretty cheerleader whose dad went bald early looks depleted by her mid-forties.

    (7) How does June stack up? Pretty well. To begin with, her thick and wavy hair is going to serve her exceedingly well the rest of her life by framing her face with something we all associate with “youthfulness” (i.e., lots of hair). Given its current thickness and her current age, it’s doubtful that even menopause will thin it out to the point that it will cease to be a buffer against premature hagdom. Her wrinkle situation is better than average. I suspect the facial fat layer is probably a little less than average. So she’s got two of the three factors working for her, including the most important one.

    (8) Moral to the story: Stop complaining about you hair, June.

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  24. I loved looking at the June Retrospective! You’re dahhhling!
    I join with others in saying I don’t think you look like you have aged. However, I totally get how you might think you have. Same thing happens to me. Lots of people tell me I don’t look my age, but every now and then I’ll catch a side glance in a mirror or see a photo of myself and think Good GOD, who’s the old lady?? I used to be cute! sigh.

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  25. The New Year’s Eve picture is haunting. Other than that, you look hot in all the pics and no I do not think the relationship aged you at all cause you are still so ding dang pretty!

    Essence is pretty too and I would totally wear those earrings in a New York minute.

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  26. All the lip colors are flattering. I also too wondered if you and your friends had a conversation about pokey-dot attire. And my sympathy to Ned. When one of my dogs made his final trip to the vet, everyone avoided looking at me. This is a place where I’ve gone for over 60 years and was friendly with several of the staff. I chalk it up to not knowing what to say, but still. You still look great. I think you have many years before age sneaks up on you. I felt I did pretty well until I turned 70.

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  27. Ah, June, you look fab and not at all “old”! I do think the curly hair keeps you young.

    “DeadKitty” — killed me.

    Also, Roomiest Rose? Every.single.time I hear the word “roomy” I can’t help but think about that line in “Silence of the Lambs.” “Was she a large girl? Big through the hips? Roooomy?” I feel like it’s just me with this weirdness.

    Lovely post!

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  28. @ Muffin Top, I too am obsessed with The Silence Of The Lambs. I am a psychological horror loving Death Hag, so there’s that. Thanks to the internet I know I am unusual but not unique.
    Speaking of death hag my neighbor who I had a sometimes contensus relationship with passed away last Tuesday and no obituary has been posted. I find this quite disturbing. She was cremated and I guess they are waiting to have her memorial service because it is so close to Christmas. I still find it disturbing. I see her empty house every day, it is catty corner to my back yard, in the cul-de-sac behind our house. We may be aging but we are still here.
    Joon, I looked at your photos again. Your neck looks great. You have zero turkey neck! I am jelly!

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  29. The many faces of June. It is amazing how a relationship affects our appearance and our health. You look marvelous and not old at all. Also and too, those glasses. OMG those cat lady cat eye glasses. I love them.

    Ned and Ned Kitty. Sorry, but he expected you to come hug him? OH Ned. Bless his heart.

    Lovely post Coot.

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  30. Just giving my two cents worth…darker lip colors are very attractive on you AND on me! I use a chocolate lip liner (highly recommend- to build up the upper lip) and a pinkish or plum lipstick-and do the movement with the lips which mixes the colors and it’s quite nice.

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