Does my new computer make me look fat?
I like how there’s a Kleenex on one of my computers. You know I hate to mention it, but I have a cold.
Anyway, you can’t tell if my new Mac makes me look fat yet because you will be stunned to hear I’m having trouble migrating my old computer’s information onto my new computer. Several hours with AppleCare have occurred. Several swears have similarly occurred.
In fact, I put off opening my new computer because I knew it was going to put me in a foul mood, and here I am, in a foul mood.
So here I sit, on the last day of the year, in my drafty computer room looking out at the bare trees, talking into my phone like a crazy person.
I guess people have talked into their phones for years and it’s not so crazy, but I am, in fact, talking to no one. That is the crazy part. The part where I’m speaking into a void.
I really wanted to make an updated end-of-the-year video for you, because even though I said in early December, “What could really happen to me this last month?” I did, in fact, have some interesting things happen. My visit to TinyTown. My foster kitten.
But now my computers are migrating, and picking up work while they can, picking grapes and so on, and I can’t make you a new end-of-the-year video. So I will sit here and speak into your void.
Yesterday, I put Jodie Foster in her little cat carrier, and took her away from the home she has known for two weeks–with cats she adores and a dog she loved to pick on–and back to the shelter.
She was healthy enough and big enough to be adopted. It was really difficult to do, seeing how well she got on with everyone here, and the thought of her shivering in the shelter, scared and confused, was like to kill me.
But that was the deal I made, and I know I did her some good letting her stay with me.
Yesterday at 5 PM, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I called the shelter.
“Yes,” (because you know I always have to start those phone calls with “yes”), “I fostered a little kitten named Lilly Lu?” (That was her name at the shelter. Lilly Lu. Are you dying?) “And I dropped her back off this morning for adoption. Did anyone happen to adopt her today?”
The worker looked through her papers. She asked me some questions. “The little orange one?” More papers. Oh my god, lady. My heart was racing.
“…Oh, yes, ma’am, she sure did get adopted today.”
I knew it was looking good for her yesterday. While I was waiting for the foster lady to come out, I walked around the shelter and looked at the other cats, and there were barely any left. When I took the kitten to get her booster shot a couple days before Christmas, it was like Calcutta in that shelter. There were people everywhere.
And of course, now I feel sorry for the couple of loser adult cats who didn’t get adopted by anyone for Christmas. But I’m trying to put them out of my mind.
You have no idea how relieved I feel. Jody Foster did not have to even spend one more night in the shelter. She got swooped up.Of coarse she do
After taking that kitten to the shelter, I may or may not have stopped off for a pork chop biscuit that I couldn’t even taste, so basically all of the calories, none of the flavor, and then I bought a new pair of glasses.
I bought my last pair in 2015, and my prescription has changed twice since then. Plus, I don’t know, I was just in the mood. I’ll show them to you when they get in, but the point is, as soon as I got home I found these online and wanted to kill myself.
Yes, those are little diamonds. Well, not real diamonds, but you know what I mean.
doooeng mom impresh
After all that, I felt pretty punky. Is punky even a word? I didn’t feel well. So I came back home and sat with my Kleenex and convalesced.
It has dawned on me this week while I have been sick, and I know I’ve hardly mentioned my sickness, that when I feel like this all I really want is my grandmother. The nice one. Not the one I’m turning into.
I want to be in her very warm, old lady house with the cuckoo clock ticking and the theme song for Days of our Lives in the background.
I want her to bring me orange juice and for her to call me “grandma’s baby.”
That’s all I really want. If I could ever find someone who would dote on me and act so tragic about me having a common cold, then I’ll know I’ve met the person for me.
I thought about that yesterday, and I thought about my kitten. When I was a little kid and had a cold and went to grandma’s and she doted on me, I’m sure at the time all I thought about was that I had a damn cold and felt miserable.
And two weeks ago, when I went to the shelter to foster a kitten, my idea was that she would be this little thing in the back rooms, and that I would go in there and spend time with her. I had no idea she would become such an integral part of all the lives of all the creatures who live here. Including the ear mites.
My point is, when we’re making memories we’re never aware of it. I will go my whole life wanting my grandmother to be back, putting her hand on my forehead and exclaiming how I’m burning up.
And every once in awhile I’ll say, “Remember that time I fostered a kitten for two weeks? And she was so wonderful?”
But we never know what things will turn out to be wonderful memories. We plan a fabulous vacation, and then we get there and it rains every day and we never really remember that vacation. But we go out the door one day just to run errands, and something magical happens that we remember that day forever.
I guess what I’m saying is, I hope 2018 brings you a lot of memories that you don’t even know you’re going to have while you’re sitting here today, with the cold wind and the bare branches around you.
I hope that next year at this time, you look back on the year that was and say, “Wow. There are a lot of good memories from 2018.”
Because even a sick day with bare branches can turn out to be memorable.
See you next year. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Today’s lipstick. It’s something-Punch. I know I look marvelous. What illness?