Give June a doll box from 1972, and you’ve given her the world

I just heard myself tell the dog, "I just washed that floor," as he skidded in with muddy paws, and now I have officially become my mother. Then I realized that no, I actually did not wash this floor this weekend, making me officially my grandmother when the dementia set in. I did wash a … Continue reading Give June a doll box from 1972, and you’ve given her the world

Perhaps felines are mentioned briefly

Awhile back, I went to the animal shelter for fun, because I'm the only person in America who goes to the animal shelter for fun. Others play softball. At least that's what I imagine the normal folk do. They had a banner up: Fosters for Puppies and Kittens Needed. It was like the best sentence … Continue reading Perhaps felines are mentioned briefly

Whole lotta leopard

What I admire about Edsel is his unencumbered ability to release 20 seconds of stepped-on-a-duck-sounding gas with nary a flinch. I have today off, and yet I am still here, in my leopard footie pajamas, talking to you. I'm supposed to be sitting around thinking about Martin Luther King. Who was something of a philanderer … Continue reading Whole lotta leopard

World’s Worst Person Gets Her Nails Done

People at work have been talking about a new manicure procedure called SOS or S&M or whatever, and apparently it's powder they dip your nails in to color them. Somehow this creates a manicure that keeps going for two weeks like a 17-year-old boy but allegedly isn't as terrible for you as a gel manicure. … Continue reading World’s Worst Person Gets Her Nails Done

Does my new computer make my arse look big? Are you sick of that joke yet?

This is my inaugural post on my new computer. Please note I received said new computer back in December, way back then, but it's been Sisyphean hell trying to migrate all my old info into the current day. I worked harder on getting to the present day than that guy in Back to the Future. … Continue reading Does my new computer make my arse look big? Are you sick of that joke yet?