Busy executive

I have to give a presentation today at work, so I’m distracted. But when I return to you, to your arms, where will hug in the dark of night, remind me to tell you about sitting next to The World’s Worst Person at the manicure place.



Proofreader’s gang sign I made up. It’s a carat. Google fucking it. Also, note the remaining dregs of the Dean & Deluca candy ALWAYS NEARBY. Why so chubby, gansta?

35 thoughts on “Busy executive

  1. Presentation? Do you visualize your audience in their undies? Will your hot co-worker be attending? And the pervenado continues… Good luck, Coot.


  2. Oh! I had a HORRIBLE pedicure yesterday at a pretentious place. We all had to sit on a communal bench with 21358546 pillows instead of the lovely massage chairs at my regular place (got a gift card – what can I say?). No foot or leg massage, no hot oil, no SILENCE PLEASE signs, 20 minutes and done. And top dollar prices. ANYWAY! The mother/daughter duo next to me were so obnoxious. For example:

    Mother: “Why do blacks think they need a black Santa? Do I try to make Kwaanza a white holiday??”
    Daughter: “Oh, ugh. I know! Try explaining a Santa with a gray beard!”

    I regret not punching them both square in the throat.

    Good luck June! You’ll be great!


  3. You so cool. (What’s the today word for “cool”?)

    I’d like to join your gang but I have already been initiated into the gang signed in the top shot.
    Remember that we had a BBP gang sign? Back when we were all young and carefree.

    That Worst Person in the World sure gets around. Can’t wait to hear about it.


  4. OMG, I’ve had so many interesting manicure experiences. The best one was when there was a girl who pulled out a tupperware container from her purse and started eating spicy hot chicken wings while she was getting her pedicure and then caused a scene because they didn’t have bottled water to offer her. “THESE WINGS ARE HOT!” she kept screaming at them. She then got a phone call and started telling someone that she had received a tiger cub (YES!) for Christmas and she was raising it in her apartment. She was feeding it 9 cans of cat food 3 times per day. Then another call came in so she clicked over to take it and started screaming hysterically to her boyfriend all the way across the salon that her brother had been arrested for shooting someone the night before. The few of us sitting around her just kept exchanging raised eyebrows and shocked faces wondering what might be coming next.


        1. That’s true. Beverly is an unusual-encounter MAGNET. If I get home at lunch and fucking ALF is not STILL THERE, I will write. He’s turned into Eldin from Murphy Brown at this point.


          1. I’m totally catching old “Murphy Brown” episodes on the antenna t.v. and I forgot how hilarious Eldin was! And her ninety bazillion secretaries!


    1. Beverly, the way you just described that, I totally time traveled back to my former work life. The words, the visual, the smell, oh my gosh, it’s like I’m right there in my old office 15 years ago. Dang. Not to much can do that anymore and your comment did. Makes me laugh but also…freaks me out. Ha!


  5. I feel like I’m missing out… my pedicure sessions are always relaxing and lovely. It would be fun to have it shaken up with a tiger rearing, arrested brother kind of days.
    Nice mani, Coot.


  6. My horrible manicure stories almost always include women who bring children and babies. My last haven of peace, as there are so many obnoxious kids at high end eateries, is slowly being eroded. I want child free zones.


  7. Sat next to Ramona Singer RHNY……….Loud, bossy, sloppy, on her phone the whole time, then yelled at the manicurist for not paying attention! When she finally left, the whole salon erupted in laughter and applause! #ilovewhereilive!


  8. I give up pedicures in the winter to let my nails breathe. Is that a real thing or have I fallen for yet another stupid internet health tip?


  9. Yeah, I forgot to mention up above that I do my pedicures every month, come hell or high water. I don’t want dry, crusty, nasty feet. I keep my fingernails really clean and short since I do massage, teach infant massage and am a doula, none of which are good with long nails. So I put all my cute colors and such on my toeses instead.


  10. Love your badass gangsta nail color.
    I’ve never had an awful manicure (well, I’ve had a manicure that wasn’t good, but the experience was just fine), but I had the world’s worst massage the other day! The woman started out a little chatty, which is fine by me because I am likewise chatty. But all of a sudden she just…vomited all the stress of her life all over me. Here is an incomplete list of the people who have wronged her: her ex-husband, his new wife, the wife’s son, her daughter’s ex-husband, the girlfriend of THAT guy, the 10-year-old son of the girlfriend, her own daughter (who took her keys away when she was trying to drive away from her other daughter’s wedding in a huff because of the ex-husband and new wife, can you believe the NERVE?)…and so on. I was just lying there, getting more and more rigid with tension, trying to figure out a mature and reasonable way to deal with this angry nutjob. Not easy when you are literally naked.
    It’s the first time I ever longed for the end of a massage.


    1. As a massage therapist I am here to tell you that was all sorts of wrong. I am sorry this person is in this profession. The spa you were at should offer you compensation.


  11. @ Dancer, I am glad it is not just me. Small brats do not belong in adult beauty salons. I went to one nearer my home for a while. The third time I went there was a three year old weilding a broom and messing with the jar of blue solution with the combs inside. She was also questioning me about the dye on my hair and my eyebrows. I was not amused and it showed. My stylist let me know the kid was her best friend’s granddaughter. I didn’t give a damn who she is, she didn’t belong there unattended. I would prefer a child that age be left at home. Salon time is suppossed to be relaxing for the clients


  12. My nail salon has a huge TV that is always on, even though nobody is watching it. The satellite signal is poor, so there is lots of fritzing out and static. So not relaxing. I now wear my earbuds and take my Kindle. There aren’t usually kids running around, thank the lord baby jesus.


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