June the snowflake

It snowed.

If you’ve read me for awhile, you’ll know that (a), that means work was called off, although we are expected to “work from home,” and I remember a really bad storm two years ago where I proofread a giant deck–giant–and just as I was finishing it, Iris stepped on my laptop and erased all the changes I had made.

And that is why Iris is mounted on my wall today.

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shut upz

(Also, a deck is a presentation. It is important to never call anything by its name.)

This, by the way, is how Ms. Iris has spent her snow day, aka all days. Her big-game-hunting seems to have dwindled, although to her credit, now when I see something dead on my doorstep–mice, a bird, a hobo–I just assume Steely Dan killed it. I also assume he, and not video, killed the radio star.

I don’t give poor Iris any credit anymore. However, see above. How can she kill things if she’s nodded out on the horse or whatever is going on with her and all cats who can’t seem to stay awake more than 20 minutes at a stretch.

Anyway, they warned us snow was coming, and when did weather get to be such an exact science? Remember in the old days and all the jokes about the weatherman being wrong? Now it’s all, “Snow will begin in your zip code at 4:49 a.m.”

But anyway, yes, they warned us it was coming, so I left work on time-ish and dashed on over to daycare to get my child.

IMG_3678.jpgCareful readers will note the ears in the window, and how did he KNOW it was me? It was 5:30 on a Tuesday; every motherfucker on god’s green was coming to get his or her dog, but old Ears up there…maybe that’s why. Maybe the ears tipped him off. He could hear my thoughts or whatever from Spain.

IMG_3674.jpgAnyway, my giant nose and I got him home and at some point I turned into a Rembrandt with that collar. I guess it’s a scarf. Still.

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Let’s gather thou things and get thou home, Edsel

I made an enormous pot of pumpkin chili on Monday, because you know what a chef I am, and yes, I just linked to a recipe. Who even am I?

Anyway, I knew I was okay with food in case I had a long winter like Laura Ingalls Wilder. And also like Laura, in her hit book Little Movie at the Shopping Center, I had the dilemma: Should I go to the movies with The Poet as we’d planned, and risk opening the theater doors afterward to see that we lived in a snowglobe?

I sound like a movie trailer. In a world

IMG_3679.jpgBut because she is from Iowa and I am from Michigan, we decided to not be a couple of pussies, and we applied the same logic to the size of our popcorn. You’ll be stunned to hear we had some left over.

“Well, I didn’t know you’d eat five pieces and be done,” said The Poet, who apparently really is one of those “where does she put it all” kinds of people, because she gave that bucket the college try and she weighs about 72. Lithe, is what she is. And also currently full of popcorn.

Anyway we saw Lady Bird, and I will not bore you with the fact that we liked it, as everyone likes it, and I wish I could be rebellious and say, “Not enough titties” or whatever, but I cannot. As it was a sweet movie.

IMG_3683.jpgThen I got up today, as per usual, and kind of forgot it was supposed to have snown–yes, snown–and went about my normal business, such as navigating the Cat Calcutta that is my hallway first thing.

IMG_3689.jpgBut I opened the blinds, and I was all, Oh, yay! I forgot that it was supposed to have snowded. Then I checked m’phone and Oh, yay! Work is canceled. Then I checked it further, and Oh, boo. We are expected to work anyway.

So I’m constantly checking my phone to see if work is streaming in, which really cockblocks my original plans of Bailey’s and hot chocolate all day.

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not so much wif dis bullchit

So, as I was saying 47 paragraphs ago, if you’ve read me awhile, you’ll know snow means I don’t have to go to work and also winter frolic pictures will occur.

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offend delicate sense biliteeez
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one dignity shot

IMG_3714.jpgIMG_3712.jpgIMG_3716.jpgIMG_3711.jpgMeanwhile, back inside my ranch, and that joke never gets old, Steely Dan was torn between wanting to venture outside and being highly offended that something outside kept making his paws cold.

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da fuk?

IMG_3724.jpgI was in the kitchen, doing dishes because hey, dishwasher that works, and Steely Dan kept opening the damn back door, going out, trying to walk on everything that wasn’t snowy, then coming back in getting bored and doing it all over again. I’d have snapped his neck had it not been sort of cute.

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get steeeellle fone. he going to menshun dis on next door. dis abominaa shun.

IMG_3740.jpgHe also begged to go out the front, as if maybe it hadn’t snowed in the front yard.

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goddammitz
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Coming home in defeat.

I wonder how many people are waiting for (b). See first paragraph. Then remember whose not-blog you are reading.

There you go.

Your Ice Princess,

June Cassadine

42 thoughts on “June the snowflake

  1. I think I missed the big dishwasher decision reveal – did you get it repaired, buy a new one or by “working dishwasher” were you referring to yourself?!

    Hope you have a lovely snow day even though you have to work but I bet you’ll bet more done at home with the bonus of being in PJ’s & surrounded by pets.

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  2. My husband does the verbal outline. “So we can’t do blah de blah because A. bloo de bloop bloop. And hoop de hoody. Blah blah blah.” And the whole time I’m just waiting for point B. The man has started more lists in my head that never get past the first bullet point.

    Your pet pics are spot on per usual. Animals are always surprised by snow – even ones who live where winter is a regularly scheduled event. I guess they don’t have the benefit of the weather channel, but shouldn’t they just know? Like some kind of animal sense?

    Lovely post June! Enjoy your day “off”.

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  3. Love the pictures of Eds in the snow. In one of them I can’t quite tell if he’s laughing or crying. I’m glad you enjoyed the movie featuring my hometown. Ashamed to say I haven’t seen it.

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  4. I realized that I can’t keep up with your hilarious self. By the end of the post there have been so many good jokes (puns?) and funny photos that it all crammed into my full in box of a brain and then fell out the other side. Remember back when we actually had desks that had in and out box and other paper files? So there’s that.

    My cat is by the front door when I get home. She can’t see my car so I think she knows it’s particular sound. Could be the jangling of my excessive key ring, tho.

    Oh. Pussies! As you stated – after living in a state that has a season of snow — I have no issues going out into it. It’s just the others I have to worry about.

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  5. This is one for your book since you asked the other day. I laughed at all the pictures and captions. Love the pictures of Edsel laughing and playing in the snow. It also snowed here, but we did not get as much as you. Enjoy your stay-in-your-pajamas day.

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  6. I loved all the photos, especially those of the Edz. The expression on his face just cracked me up. We have snow and my cat knew a few days ago with her built-in weather channel. She was flipping and flopping around like a crazy person. She is outside right now. I guess her Russian Blue long-hair coat is serving her well.

    A day working from home beats a day in an open-floor plan office any day.

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    1. You know how at the bottom of my blog posts they list other blog posts that are related? There’s another one where it had snowed years back, and I made the same stupid joke about the snow offending Edsel’s delicate sensibilities.

      June’s not-blog. Come for the Animal pictures. Stay for the same goddamn animal pictures eight years later.

      >

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  7. Edsel makes me smile.
    Love your latest header picture (or whatever you call it). I want to be that kind of old lady. I need to get started soon because I’m getting close to that old.
    You got way more snow than we did here.
    Thanks for sharing your snow day!

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  8. Oh, those pictures of Edsel! They are adorable! “Come play with meeeeee!” SD IS offended. How dare it snow? I, myself, am more like Iris…a nap and a snuggle are perfect on a snow day.

    I hope they didn’t send you too much work today.

    Lovely post, lovely Ice Princess!

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  9. Your hallway littered with cats looks so darned pretty! The blue walls with the white trim…quite fetching! Poor SD got snowed in. Loved Edsel’s photos in the snow…and his ears in the window. He missed you.

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  10. Great pics of the kids. The dignity shot of Edz is especially handsome. Also the one of him smiling is a hoot. And sweet, Iris. Old girl. And with SD on the prowl your day off must have been very entertaining!

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  11. June Cassadine. I am now picturing you wearing a white fur coat, hands dripping in large diamonds.

    It snowed almost 7 inches here Sunday and Monday. It’c cold enough to freeze a witch’s tit and yet we still have work and school. Living in the Midwest blows.

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    1. Living in New England is that way too. We have had extra cold and snow this year and my southern friends are constantly surprised that things aren’t closed.

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  12. June, your Shakespearean collar up there made me wonder if you’ve downloaded the Google Arts & Culture app yet? If so, have you done the selfie thing where you find out what works of art around the world look just like you?

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  13. Am I the only one who noticed the wardrobe (scarf) change from Rembrandt to Leopard? Edsel is like a kid having a snow day, hamming it up for the camera.

    Enjoy your work from home in your fuzzy slippers kind of day.

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  14. I love that Edsel. He is a real lover of life! He acts like a puppy when he isn’t busy eating them.

    I meant to mention yesterday that last year I bought a virtually identical dress as the lady up there, showing her bootay. It even came with a petticoat built in. Just wanted to put my 5 cents on you.

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  15. P.S.
    I stared and stared at the daycare picture wondering what the hell I was supposed to be seeing. I finally gave up and continued reading, and right then I knew…

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  16. I love that laughing picture of Eds. Yeah in Utah they never cancel anything with snowy blizzards. Especially the schools– they need their attendance money I guess, but it sure seems unfair.

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  17. We had a blizzard here recently, 18 inches, those damn Nor’Easters kick our coastal New Jersey ass. We had a touch of snow yesterday but had to go up to Philadelphia for treatment for him. The areas near there had more but the roads were well salted so it was fine. The snow on the ground and the trees in the many woody areas in the more rural towns was really pretty.
    He did great, we even stopped off for dinner at a bar we can use our barter credit at. Guess who had two fancy Martinis in the giant glasses? Yes, me, the non driver last night. I was bombed and it felt good. I passed out early after feeding the pups and they woke me up at midnight to go out. That is Scrappy, the good dog. Sophie was attached to my body because OMG, the mama left her for hours! He had very little appetite, m’spouse, but he has a whole dinner I only need to reheat tonight.
    I love your Eds in the snow pictures as usual. Eds is the most charming goofball dog ever.

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  18. Re: Steely Dan and the front door. We got a shit ton (for here) of snow on Tuesday and our cat keeps going out the cat door, coming in ALL offended, and then meowing to go out the back door (which is 4 feet from the cat door). I’m pretty sure he also thinks the outdoors is different if he goes that way. Bless his fat heart.

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  19. My favorite photo and caption is of SD and “da fuk?” That is EXACTLY what the look on his face is saying those eyes are so dreamy. He would totally be the boyfriend that could do anything he wants and all he has to do is look at you with those dreamy peepers and all would be forgotten. I love love love snown in days. We don’t get them too often here so when we do they are celebrated! It’s been unusually warm in WA state. This past weekend it got up to 60 degrees. In JANUARY! Crazy.

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