Perhaps felines are mentioned briefly

Awhile back, I went to the animal shelter for fun, because I’m the only person in America who goes to the animal shelter for fun. Others play softball. At least that’s what I imagine the normal folk do.

They had a banner up: Fosters for Puppies and Kittens Needed.

It was like the best sentence of my life, along with Free Lipstick, No Purchase Necessary. Which isn’t really a sentence. Neither was “fosters for puppies and kittens needed.”

The best sort-of sentence of my life, along with “I’m Morris Chestnut and I need a woman to climb up on me.” Which actually was a sentence.

Also, hi, mom.

The point is, I volunteered. Not for puppies ALTHOUGH I WOULD. But it seemed like bringing back a puppy carcass, just sort of leaning it on their doorframe, isn’t what they had in mind at the animal shelter.

Last month, I fostered an orange and white kitten named Jodie Foster.

IMG_2954.jpgShe was MEANT to stay in the back bedroom, but that did not happen.

IMG_2938.jpgFortunately, she was a big hit with everyone here. And when she was ready to be adopted, she found a home that same day.

The point of fostering is you take home kittens who aren’t ready yet–they’re too young, they have an upper respiratory thing, that sort of snafu.

IMG_4169.jpgMy current crop, that I got yesterday, is too young. They’re jailbait. That is a disgusting term.

Anyway, I have a mom cat, Nancy,

IMG_4039.jpgIMG_4112

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#%&&#*
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She gots ear tuftses
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#@@%&!!

and her four babies. The shelter already named them, so all my brilliant Nancy-related names were for naught.

IMG_4042.jpgThe black one is a girl, named Trixie. Because apparently she’s a waitress at a truck stop in the ’50s. Despite this dramatic photo, she is the most laid back one.

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trixeee really do be

IMG_4157.jpgIMG_4166.jpgLexi is gray with some butterscotch, and if anyone is going to wander off on her own, it’s she. She doesn’t need anyone. Well. For like 15 seconds at a time. Then she does.

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lexeee leeving soon

Below is Vicki, a tortoiseshell.

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wat that meen?

IMG_4021.jpgI got the kittens at lunch–screamed down to the shelter, got them all in a carrier, screamed home and set them up in their room, then screamed back to work, where while I was gone I had gotten two will-take-hours jobs that both needed to be done before 4:00. Relaxing. The point is, when I got home–and oh my god I could not wait to get home–Vicki, the little tortoiseshell, was having titty dinner with her mom. On this chair that is fur-free. Good lord.

That’s what my gramma called it. Titty dinner.

When I was a kid, I was friends with a girl named Vicki, and this is all so odd. Because when I was up there describing how I could not wait to get home, this memory flashed, of playing in the backyard at Vicki’s. Her dad owned a business in the back of their house–I think they still do. They had this little building in the way-back part of their yard.

They hired an assistant, this young girl who happened to live next door in a big pretty house they’d turned into apartments. I know she lived there with her boyfriend, and I don’t recall how I knew that. Did he work at that place in the backyard, too? And did they get the jobs first and happen to find a place next door, or did they live next door and happen upon these jobs? These Qs burn in my brain.

The point is, Vicki and I were playing in her yard when that woman got out of work, and she TORE across the backyard to her boyfriend. She didn’t even notice us; she was all aglow, looking over at their house, and you could tell she just couldn’t WAIT to get home. She ran right past us and The Sunshine Family.

That was what I thought of yesterday at work when I was toiling, knowing there were kittens at home. How I just wanted to stare at my house as I ran home. And then I looked up this kitten’s name on the papers I have, and it’s Vicki.

Clearly I am psychic. Or something.

img_4162.jpgimg_4059.jpgAnyway, this is Matt. He’s the only boy in this scenario. He seems pretty fearless, and after you’ve lived with all girls, you’d be fearless too. Actually, is that second picture Lexi? Oh my god, who knows. KITTENS.

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god, foster mom
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GOD, FOSTER MOM

Anyway, pretty much all I want to do is look at kittens.

Today, when I went in there to feed the mom cat, all four kittens came tearing out the door at once. I was literally herding cats.

Steely Dan, who had some suspicions already, happened to be looming largely in the hall when it happened.

He was not amused.

Oh, he’ll come around. I’m not worried. But right now, he’s huffed outside with his ears back.

Meanwhile, all boopy kittens are safely back in their room, with a pillow in that space under the door, the way I jerry-rigged it when Jodie Foster was here, so they don’t escape.

I will talk at you soon, but meanwhile, won’t you enjoy some vicious cat fights?

Insane cat lady-ly,

Jooon

47 thoughts on “Perhaps felines are mentioned briefly

  1. OMG, they are simply adorable and I want them ALL. (I miss my kitty SO BAD. She died three days before Christmas. I am bereft.)

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  2. I know everyone worries about how you can return them to the shelter. Does it make it easier knowing that you are going to get new ones soon?(Plus the great feeling you get knowing you are doing a good deed and all that jazz.)

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  3. Titty dinner! Dying! Your grandmother was a woman after my own heart. Not that I ever got to use m’girls as a milk bar but that is a great turn of phrase!

    OMG, they are such cuties. SD could handle ONE kitten, Mom, but how is a guy to compete with a whole crew, FFS , even if he is the Frank Sinatra/McGuyver/James Bond of all cats. Lu resent.

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  4. Kittens!
    Thank you for sharing your adventures in kitty sitting. I so enjoy a little feline therapy with little felines.
    As I was reading this, my daughter looked at my phone and said,
    “If there wasn’t so much writing there could be more cat pictures!”
    So I showed her the cat fight video.
    How interesting that you were thinking about your friend with the same name.
    Great post!

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  5. Oh my goodness! This post is the most wonderful post, ever. Those sweet faces. You are a strong woman fostering those babies KNOWING you have to return them. I couldn’t do it. I would have five more cats. The smile on your face is priceless.

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  6. I LOVE THEM ALL!

    You’ve found the perfect way to have kittens around without permanently adding to your pet family. Young and pretty Mama Nancy looks like a teenage mother. Have a fun kitten-filled weekend.

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  7. “…I’m the only person in America who goes to the animal shelter for fun.” Incorrect!! When I was in college (and let’s be honest, I still do this) my a bunch of us would be sitting around when someone would say “Anyone want to go pet dogs?” And we would all stampede to the car.
    You have been a much better foster mom than I am. We ended up keeping a kitten from the first litter I fostered. The most mottled little brown tortie you’ve ever seen. She looks like a potato and her name is Hazel. Have fun with your kittenses!

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  8. I would have to quit my job or take a sabbatical because I would not want to leave my house. I would sit around and Yoko them all day long. They are itty bitty boop kitten heads!! I love them and Nancy, too!

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  9. My mom took our campfire girl troop to the shelter once. I remember I wanted to save them all and I think I cried. She also took us to a pet cemetery one time.

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  10. My daughter goes to the shelter near her work on the regular, just to cuddle and pet the puppies. She has a somewhat stressful job and when her co-workers found out what she was doing they started to tag along. Now it’s like a normal thing they do. Like that could be anything BUT normal.

    What fun you will have with your kittens! Maybe you should start a Match.com for cats. You could post their pictures and profiles and find their perfect human match! In your free time of course.

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  11. I can’t even handle the teensy kitten fights. I had forgotten they do that so young. What awesome entertainment. The mew mew mews are music to my ears.

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    1. They mew a LOT. They are the mewingest kittens I ever met. Today, mom also started meowing at me. So that’s where they get it, I guess.

      Also, when I walked in this morning, the mom was in the green chair, the hair chair, and her kittens were nowhere. “She ate them,” I thought, because my head. Anyway, all the kittens were in a big pile together at the very back of their carrier. I’d left it open for that very purpose, in case they felt safe in there.

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  12. I love those itty bitty kitties and their mews.
    Good job, Joob.
    Who else watched the veedeeo 3+ times before commenting?

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  13. I can’t stop watching the kitten video. This is going to go down as one of my most unproductive days at work.

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  14. The video is my favorite. I haven’t been around baby kitties forever. Pictures just don’t do them justice on how cute they are.

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  15. Steely Dan is going to teach at least a couple of them how to be giant assholes who will NOT be trapped inside a house all the time. They are precious and I love them all!

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  16. Oh, after you mentioned titty dinner, I thought the story about the worker girl racing home to her boyfriend was going to go a different way. What is wrong with me? I blame the Dayquil.

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  17. You are making me procrastinate. Don’t you KNOW that I have to get those personal narratives graded, scanned, and returned? I swear I could HEAR the mews coming from my computer. I just HAD to come and see them!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  18. Kidden Fight Club! I love kitten mews, as well.

    Nancy has such a cute face. I hope when they’re ready for a home that she finds one as quickly as the kittens.

    Hopefully, Uncle SD will warm up to the babies and play with them like he did with JF.

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  19. As other faithful readers have said, you are not the only one who visits shelters for fun. My daughter visits the cat shelter, the cat cafe, and the farm animal sanctuary on a regular basis. She doesn’t bring any home, though because her in house cat doesn’t play well with others. We go with her when we visit.
    I had to come back for another look at the cat fight.

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  20. You are such a natural. You have the perfect kind of voice for a pet mom, kind of higher pitched and happy sounding, but gentle. Those kitties clearly ADORE you, being all snuggly and climbing up all over you. You look pretty blissful yourself. I keep checking back to see if there are new pictures and stories!

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  21. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITTY BITTY WITTY KITTIES SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WUV THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT ALL OF THEM MOMMA INCLUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C’MERE ITTY BITTY WITTY KITTIES AUNTIE AMISH ANNIE WANT TO GIVE YOU KISSIES ALL OVER YOUR HEAD AND EARSIES AND PAWSIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Too bad there wasn’t anything exciting in this post.

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