“June, you forgot to add kitten pictures.”

Relationships are stupid.

I know I sound like my coworker Griff, who thinks everything is stupid–but who is, in fact, in a relationship. But really, they are. Stupid.

IMG_5222.jpgThis weekend, Ned was helping me walk Edsel, and you’re all, What the–WHY WAS NED THERE, and calm down. I will get to it. The point is, I was reminded of a time we’d walked down that street before.

“Remember back when we liked each other, and we walked down this way to the hotel to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July, and we got there and there were no fireworks?” I asked him.

“But we didn’t care, because we liked each other,” he said. “Now I’d be all, ‘What, you didn’t RESEARCH if there were fireworks visible from there?'”

“Yep,” I agreed, which was pretty much just the most redundant sentence on earth.

There was another time that Ned wanted to cook with me, and make homemade salsa as a side dish, and see, nowadays I’d know that Ned and a big, involved plan that includes homemade salsa would be an all-day undertaking, and that I’d end up eating at 2 a.m. for the first time all day. But back then I liked him and went along with it.

If he asked me now to grill out with him and add homemade anything to the mix, I’d bludgeon him with a tiki torch.

And that’s what I mean. Relationships go from fun and frolic and feeling goopy about the person to wanting to stab him with your butter knife. At least that’s how they go with me.

Anyway, here’s why Ned was even over. On Friday, he got Nancy, the mom cat to the kittens I’m fostering.

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And do you know what I am weary of? Is how I have too many channels. I’ll tell you one thing about Nancy and her kittens here, and then on Facebook someone will ask me something I already said about them over here.

Or over on the (Face)Book of June page. Or I said it on Instagram. Or I thought it in my head. The point is, you have to be practically stalking me to get all my guff, and it’s my fault for spreading my love all over social media.

Anyway, the wrap-up is–and when you see someone asking any of these things elsewhere, will you answer for me? Be snippy. Thank you.

The wrap-up is, I have Nancy’s four kittens till next Saturday now, because they have to weigh two pounds each to be adoptable. They all weigh somewhere around a pound and a half, with the exception of the black kitty, who appears to be the runt.

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hey!

Allegedly they will weigh enough by Saturday.

(And can I add something? I noticed this on a much larger scale with Patrick Stewart, when he was fostering a very sweet pit bull. Fostering animals so they’re ready for adoption is a noble task. You don’t undertake such a thing lightly. It costs a fucking fortune,

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shopping cart of a cat lady

your house is chaos, and you know these are fosters, not pets.

IMG_5104.jpgSo if you’re someone enjoying watching the foster, whether in real life or on social media, I think the most supportive thing you can do is NOT pressure the person fostering to adopt. Or say, “If it were ME, I’d keep them ALL.” That sort of thing. It’s not easy, fostering. Pressure to keep them adds to the not-easy part.)

But anyway, Ned, who I never said a WORD to, decided to take Nancy, the mom cat, and they first had to fix her, make her all barren, which turned out to be more grueling than they’d thought.

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was not browken

They had trouble locating her ovaries, and her incision was large, and they wanted to keep her and give her antibiotics and so on. (So that’s why I’m not taking the kittens to see her, as it would hurt her if they tried to suckle.)

But on Friday, she was finally ready to go home. Ned has to keep giving her Clavamox till it’s gone–sometime this week.

But she seems to be reacting to her medication, or something, because she has pooped NOT in the box every time. So he came over to trade litter with me, to see if she likes that better. He also went out and bought like three different kinds of litter boxes. Because he’s Ned. He’s probably fashioning a homemade one. With salsa.

Also, she’s hiding a lot, but she’s slept with him every night. She finally used her box this morning, but Ned said she ran under the bed right after. Poor traumatized Nancy.

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In the meanwhile, here are photos of her children, in case you wanted to see kitten pictures or anything.

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I don’t know why they like this.

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There goes a new lipstick. Or new shoes. Or new anything.
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BUT LOOK AT WHO’S WORTH IT.
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kittee in China? why so many chins?
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to save kittee not fun NOT FUN

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Jesus.

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dat coolest ting Matt eber see. to be cool like gray cat?

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Tomorrow I will tell you about goat yoga, which I also attended this weekend, when I wasn’t attending Kitten Fest 2018. When I got home, Steely Dan slept on me, a unicorn of an occurrence that I always get charmed by.

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And while I didn’t dare move while it was happening, at one point, Lily got on the couch and groomed Steely Dan, and he closed his eyes and purred. I didn’t even know those two were on speaking terms. The things that happen when you’re Mia Farrow and you have too many kids.

Also, Faithful Reader Kris, I can’t tell you how much I love that freaking afghan.

That sums me up. I guess if I were a man, I could have just written, Cats, and been done with this whole post.

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some catz matter more. gray cats mattur.

Feline-ly,

Joon

 

52 thoughts on ““June, you forgot to add kitten pictures.”

  1. I’m glad you finally said something asking people to stop with the, “you’re going to keep that one aren’t you? Edsel needs one,” etc., etc. I wanted to snap that on your behalf several times but did not as I was afraid I get kicked out of the Face. But really, people should stop. Maybe I understand that because I have several friends who foster animals.

    Poor Nancy – too young to have kitties, too young to be spayed, just too young. I hope she finds her peace with Ned.

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    1. When Ned went to the local pet supply place to get Nancy new litter boxes, he consulted with someone there who said if Nancy has been malnourished, she’d look younger than she is. I say that because the shelter claims she’s 4, and all this time Iv’ve been all, That cat is not 4. But maybe she is. Still. She’s been through a lot.

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      1. Another reason to be a cat, besides being able to sleep all the time, in between being an utter asshole: If you have stress and crap in your life, it makes you look YOUNGER. Not like a wrinkled old hag. Cats have it made.

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    2. Helen, I did that to one of the photos, but it wasn’t my fault. The kitten was kissing Edsel and that picture was just asking for trouble. ASKING FOR IT, I TELL YOU. So really, the only person to blame here is June.

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  2. I’m so glad you love my afghan!! It tickles me every time I see it in your pictures because it means you are using it!

    I think you need a break from fostering to replenish your bank account!

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  3. If memory serves, I was not allowed to leave the hospital after being fixed until I had pooped. I KNOW. Like I hadn’t already suffered enough indignities. Maybe the vet didn’t ask Nancy if she had pooped before they released her and that’s why she was litter-box-phobic. (I seem to recall the same poop inquiry after having my kids. With my first kid, I told the truth. Second kid? I lied so I could go home and poop in the comfort of my own home. Oh. Maybe Nancy lied so she could go home and poop. And WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL WITH NURSES AND POOP QUESTIONS?)

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    1. It’s funny you say that, Paula, because Ned was all, “I have a chart for her, where it lists every day whether she’s pooped, and if she’s bright and alert.” And I was all, “I wrote that. I wrote two weeks of that.” Didn’t he recognize my HANDWRITING? Geez.

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  4. Chins! Haha
    I love how your regularly scheduled cats seem indifferent to the itty bitty kitty crew, while Edsel loves the heck out of them.
    It’s awesome that you foster these little felines and help them get ready for their new homes. Thank you for taking us along on your feline adventures!

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    1. Really, my cats are very good. I mean, they really do just go, eh. Although Steely Dan was playing with his mouse this weekend and accidentally ran into one of the kittens, and NO ONE was happy about that. But he just stalked away, with his ears back.

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  5. I agree with Helen up there. If I have ever hinted that you should keep any of these kittens, I AM SO SORRY. You are awesome for fostering. I don’t think I could do it, because I would be an old cat lady for sure. AND my husband would be an old cat man. You are preparing these little kitties to be great pets for their next home. I just shared all these great photos with my husband, he asked if those were Edsel’s kittens. That made me laugh out loud. I have a serious question, could the kitten food be a tax deduction as a contribution to a charitable organization? Check it out, Vern. That photo of Nancy on the newspaper! Loved that sweet face. She will adjust and will be a great pet, because she had a great foster mom. I got a video from my sister-in-law last night, they just adopted another kitty, she is long, thin and solid black with a very long tail. Beautiful. Their other kitten is less than thrilled.

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      1. And hopefully will offset the freelancing $. Tee is the best with her $ knowledge. I want to be TEE when I grow up!

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  6. Of course Steely Dan snuggled with you. You smelled like goat! I’m sorry, it had to be said because we all know what a MAGNIFICENT ass he is. Also, too? I absolutely adore your kitten photoz. Skillz!

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  7. Loved this post, Coot. Thanks for the update on Nancy and all the pictures. Hope Nancy gets comfortable in her new home. Bless her little traumatized heart.

    I laughed at chins and Mia Farrow. Lily grooming a contented Steely Dan was so sweet as was SD sleeping on you. Maybe he liked the goat aroma. I saw goat yoga featured on Sunday Morning and who even knew it is the new thing? Can’t wait to read about your experience.

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  8. Maybe it hurts Nancy to poop after the surgery and all the digging they had to do to find ovaries, her insides are probably ouchy to the touch and that would mean all the insides where the poop travels are hurting her other insides. She probably thinks she has termites or something.

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      1. After my C-Section, I know I did – the toilet, not the litter box. When you have surgery they jumble your insides around and they don’t get put back exactly right. It takes a while to get things back in order.

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      2. I have also heard that. I think that’s why they go outside of the box when they have a UTI, because they think the litterbox is the problem? I bet she’ll start to heal and will go in the box again.

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  9. I agree that it might hurt Nancy to poop. I had a hysterectomy and it is amazing how much it hurts after they have moved all your internal organs around. And our pets have no idea, when they go to sleep at the vet’s office, what is going to be done. Imagine her extreme surprise to wake up in pain (I had a morphine pump and I could push the plunger whenever I was in pain!) and not understand it. I think she is definitely traumatized after all the changes she has gone through in the past few months. But the quietude of Ned’s home will help her recover quickly. And though I am loving all the kitten photos, I also understand your need to take a break. Having the kittens has put a dent in your budget and your social life! We only see you snuggling with the kittens on the afghan, and NOT cleaning out the litter box, wiping up messes around the food bowls, trying to keep the newbies apart from the existing residents, running them to the vet, etc. As far as Steely Dan is concerned, I wonder if his sleeping on your lap was his way of taking back his rightful place in your life and bumping those kittens down a peg or two. He wants to be sure “Rikki don’t lose that number.” (Did you see what I did there? My one clever thought for the day…now I’m done.)

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  10. “was not browken” made me snort. Poor Nancy. I am sure she will flourish under Ned’s super attentive care.
    Amazing post and comments! Kittens, Goats, all of the regular cats, hysterical poop stories, Paula H& B. This was one for the book! I could not go home until I peed after carpal tunel/ulna nerve reduction surgery (nasty elbow/bone surgery). I was knocked out on morphine all day. They finally said I could leave but had to come back if I didn’t pee by midnight. I put my hand in the water from the faucet like a toddler and finally did it. Who the hell wants to come back at midnight, dragging your poor spouse out of bed because yourstill have major drugs in your system? I’ve heard peeing burns the episiotomy after giving birth.

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  11. Yer doin a kickass job. I can see that their little bellies are all round and floofy. I’ve also taken in extras and it’s hard as hell. Just one more is work and disrupts the normal but a kitten crew is more like a wrecking crew what with toys, feeding, and all the running around they do. A jewel in your crown there will be (I somehow became Yoda for a second).

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  12. Thank you for the pictures of the little kitties with their spready claws. I love those. I am so happy for Need and Nancy. I hope she feels 100% soon though.

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  13. I can’t scream ITTY BITTY WITTY KITTIES anymore because they aren’t itty bitty anymore. That makes me sad. I will just have to squeal BEAUTIFUL BABY KISSIE MOOSIE MUFFIN PUMPKIN HEADS from now on.

    Lovely post, Joob. I used to come here for the the funny and stay for the pet pictures but I gotta tell ya, these BEAUTIFUL BABY KISSIE MOOSIE MUFFIN PUMPKIN HEAD pictures bring me to the yard first, well at least until those boopy furry pumpkins go back to shelter, then it’ll be the funny first again.

    Also, Eds has been looking quite dapper lately.

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  14. I love Nancy’s face. Ned will be a good Dad to her, and those kittens are going to be some gorgeous cats. Also, I must say this especially since I am all up in all things royal lately, with watching Victoria, and specials about the Queen, and obsessing about the new royal baby and what Megan’s dress will be, etc…..doesn’t Ned look eerily like Edward the VIII who married Wallace Simpson? Is it just me?

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  15. Am thinking of getting a kitten because I didn’t even notice your chins, I was all “Kittens!” The perfect accessory!

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  16. The future families of those adorable kitties will certainly reap the rewards of their great start with the June and Eds Fosterz!
    Soon these days will be behind Nancy and she will live the great life. I’m sorry she’s stressed and sore. One of our big dogs had a rough spay surgery – they had a hard time finding what they needed, and she was slower to heal than her littlermate, who we also have and is somehow oblivious to pain. That one could care less after she was spayed about pain or slowing down!

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  17. Of the several rescue organizations around here, there are a few that supply everything needed to foster the animals. Maybe have a look around at the organizations? It shouldn’t put you in the poorhouse to do a good deed, if it can be helped. I love all the pictures!

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  18. I’m sorry if I ever suggested keeping any of the kittens. What you are doing is very noble. Plus, if you kept them, then we would never get to see more new kittens.

    Hopefully Nancy feels better soon and has no lasting effects from the horror of it all. Poor, sweet, pretty kitty.

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  19. I’m squarely a dog person, but godDAMMIT those kittens are cute. I think I can safely say that tiny kittenses are cuter than tiny puppies. Love all the photos! Glad mama cat has a home with Ned.

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  20. You might tell the shelter that you’d like to foster again, but can’t afford it. They may realize they found a good volunteer and be willing to pay for the food and litter in order to keep you. Of course, it’s possible they simply can’t, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Of course, this is advice, and it’s possible I’ll now be hit with your liver.

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  21. I’m always, hands down, a black kitten person, but I am taken with Matt. He is so adorable. I mean, they all are, but there’s something about that Matt!

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  22. That picture of Ned with the regularly scheduled cat in the background and the kitten on his shoulder is adorable! And the one where you are booping noses with another kitten…omg. They make my whole day…I mean YOU make my whole day! I am so impressed that you seduced Steely Dan to sleep on your lap. That is nothing to eff with.

    I agree about the relationship thing. At the beginning everything is cupcakes and rainbows…and it doesn’t matter if things in life are mixed up because: gross you’re all over each other. It contrasts with regular life for sure. The last time I was in the gross stage was when I was a teenager. I have to live vicariously now.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  23. Nancy has such an expressive face! I’m glad you’ll be able to see her personality blossom in her new home. We only added one “rental dog” to our mix and I felt like I was running a zoo so I can’t imagine what 4/5 would be like. Lovely post, pretty June!

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  24. Poor Nancy and her pooping. Not sure whether I feel worse that she’s hurting, or that someone is charting her poopage. Well, the first part of her life wasn’t so great, but the rest will be wonderful with Ned.

    I think it’s awesome that you foster cats/kittens. They are well cared for and loved and safe with you and then hopefully adopted out to loving homes.

    A homemade litter box. With salsa. Killed me. Dead.

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  25. The picture of Nancy on Ned’s desk is so cute. I’m so happy for both of them and hope that she is feeling better soon. Lovely post and pictures, Coot.

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