Hot buff puppy men

Yesterday at lunch, I came home, got my kittens, and took them back to the shelter.

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Vicki, on her way back, clearly gracing us with her WTF face

They were supposed to weigh two pounds apiece in order to be adoptable, and Lexi, the cute light-gray one, did. The rest weighed a little above 1.5. But you guys.

They were pooping just everywhere.

I tried different litters and different boxes, and I piled books, oh so many books, around the bed, so they wouldn’t be able to go under there, as they had been. Clearly what I saw as a bottom of a bed, they saw as Men and Women restroom signs.

So the shelter was willing to take them back, as they have people already interested in them and they’re healthy, and I hope those people can get those kittens litter-trained, because I was in poop hell, is what I was.

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Trixie, doing her Nancy Kerrigan impresh. WHYYYYY.

Despite an entire three weeks of shiitake mushrooms up in here, of coming in number two, depsite being Mr. Spock seeing the Captain’s Log, I was so sad to drive them back. I knew they were getting big enough for new homes, and I felt prepared. But when that volunteer lady carried them back to the vet room, my heart broke.

Can I just put up my favorite pictures of each one? Will you indulge me? Did I mention to you my camera was not automatically deleting photos for some cockamamie reason, so I had to call AppleCare, and what I figured out in that fiasco was that I have taken 1,400 photos this month?

I had the kittens for three weeks. What do YOU think that ratio was?

…I just spent forever looking, and I CAN’T DECIDE which are my favorites. Here are some highlights…

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[sobs quietly into giant pillow]

But, there are new kittens where THEY came from, and yesterday I had Alf, my ridiculous handyman, rehang my door to the old computer room, the one with the bad concrete floor. When I moved out of or back in here, we’d taken the door off to move something or other, and after that the door never shut right. Alf put it back on right, for free.

He’s not that altruistic. He also built me a small fence that I DID pay for.*

The point is, Ima rearrange things, because my oh my, I sure know how to arrange things, and when new kittens come, THAT will be the kitten room, with a washable quilt on the floor (Idea: Cat Rescuer Robyn®), so that if I get another crop o’poopers I can clean it more easily than the dang wood floors.

*IMG_5370.jpgDo you enjoy my clever footnote in the middle of this post, which really takes the foot away from my note? Anyway, when you’re looking at the front of my house, stalker, there’s a cute picket fence on one side…

IMG_5371.jpgAnd I realize these photos are taken from inside my exclusive enclave, but I had on my robe and didn’t wish to go out and give the neighbors even more of a show than they already get at this Cat on a Cold Tile Roof What’s Her Hair Doing Today house. My One-Gray-Gargoyle house. My Her-Blind-Cat’s-Done-Murdered-Our-Chicadees-Again house.

Anyway, on one side is this cute white picket fence, like I’m Theodore Cleaver, and on the other, although you can’t really see it past the foliage, but still, on the other side was this bendy, falling-down, horrific wire fence that if Edsel had half a mind, he’d have escaped from years ago.

The thing about Edsel is, one time the damn lawn men left that gate open, and I didn’t know, and Edsel went in the yard and stayed there the whole time, with the gate wide open to the world. He coulda left me and trotted off to those bathhouses he so often looks up online.

So. He’s a good boy. Also, the last thing he’d find sexy is a bathhouse. Edsel does not enjoy getting clean.

IMG_5370The point is this photo, that I done already showed you but I rambled so here it is again, was put up by the Alf yesterday, and he said I have to wait till

FUCKING AUGUST

to paint it white. Also, I see he’s left some wood behind, hoooo haaaaaa, and now I hafta crankily text him about that.

Anyway, so lunch yesterday was not relaxing, as I had to scream home, get my kittens in a box, talk to Alf, scream to the shelter, then scream to work. On my way back to work I passed a Panda Express, which was A BAD IDEA, JUNE. I got me some teriyaki MSG, with a side of MSG, and got a screeching, screaming migraine and spent my Valentine’s Day evening with an ice pack and my nausea medicine.

Despite this, I had to come home from work and clean up ALL THE CAT POOP that was under the bed, despite the world-of-books fortress I’d built, so that was relaxing. I had to throw out the dog bed that was in there, as well, as they’d peed on not only that, but the cushion under it, as I’d already been washing the cushion fabric and when they saw the innards they said oh good, a new place to pee. So.

Kitten rescue. It’s relaxing.

So now I gotta get a new dog bed, not that Eds doesn’t have two others, but I like for him to have dog beds in each bedroom, because…well, I guess I don’t have a reason. Because I’ll occasionally switch rooms for whatever reason and he can flump onto a dog bed no matter which room, I guess. Dream of hot buff puppy men.

I must go, and get ready for work, even though my head is cloudy and that migraine is not fully gone. Stupid Panda Express. What was I THINKING?

Kittenlessly,
Juan

35 thoughts on “Hot buff puppy men

  1. That quilt on the floor idea sounds genius. Those pics….the ones with Edz in the chair are my faves.

    I can’t wait to see the next crop of fosters!

    And sorry about your headachy Valentine’s…

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    1. He seems fine. Although I did take their cat carrier out of the room to put it in the attic (took them back in my own carrier, long story) and he ran down the hall wagging his tail when he heard it.

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  2. Food tastes good without MSG, so why do they do that to us?
    So happy that you are a foster mom for kittenses now! Edsel will be filled with joy when the next batch arrives!

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  3. Oh my God, I’m going to miss the photos of those cute peein’ kitties.

    I have bought not one but TWO giant fancy expensive ass dog beds for our Lab, and he continues to vex me by laying on the floor next to them. Will be glad to send you one!

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  4. Blind cat done murdered our chickadees again! Really all of the house descriptors. Oh man. Whoo! I have a sore throat and it hurts to laugh, but those were worth it.

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  5. Sorry you’re Valentine’s Day was migrainey. So was mine. The post today made me smile, which I needed, since just before I read it, my best friend called to say that she had to put her dog down this morning. Ugh. Crying gives me a migraine, so I’m just gonna go ahead and get my meds back out.

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  6. Sad for you and Edsel, but I know the three gray cats are thrilled. I know I’ve said this before, but denatured alcohol works great to remove urine and poop odors. Just wipe it on the floor and let it dry. My male cat sprayed the clothes hamper in my husband’s closet and left a puddle on the floor. I used all sorts of cleaning agents that didn’t work to remove the smell. A friend told me about the denatured alcohol, which I poured on the floor and allowed it to soak into the floor and down in the cracks. It took all the odor out.

    Alf is very wise, if you don’t allow the wood on the fence to dry, paint will not stay on it. Ask me how I know that. The fence looks great. There is something about a picket fence that makes a house look so cozy.

    Loved all the photos. They are beautiful little kittens. Hope Nancy is doing better.

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  7. Imagining Edsel in a bathhouse, with a turban on. I hope he doesn’t miss his little buddy too much. I’m sure he won’t have to wait long for his next ward. Who’s a good boy?

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  8. Those kitten pics are the best, especially the ones with Edz. He is a kitten whisperer. Now if he could learn to use a box, he could teach those kittens where to go too. I house sat a mom cat who had a unique litter box style. She would put her front feet in the box, dilligently dug a hole, then squatted with her bottom outside the box and let go. It was a mess but she was so damn earnest. Her kittens started doing it that way too. I would follow them around, putting their entire kitten selves in the box and they got the idea.

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    1. That’s funny. Before the nice clumping litter they have now, I had a cat who was a corner pisser! She always went in the corner of the box making it extra fun to try to clean!

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  9. I love the pink typewriter! If only it was on Amazon, I could buy it and you could profit. Good fostering, foster mom. A+ to you for all your hard work and poop cleaning.

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  10. They really are a beautiful batch of kittens, I hope they all get homes that are as wonderful as their foster home. I was wondering about the pooping in regards to foster kittens. Can kittens learn to use a litter box in three weeks? I haven’t had cats since I was a teen and they all pooped outside, I don’t think we ever had a litter box in our house.
    One time we were on vacation and my neighbor three streets down was dog sitting our dog at her house. The first day my pup escaped the yard and the friend walked all over looking for her. She made it down to my house and there was my sweet Valentine sitting on our front porch waiting for someone to let her in.

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  11. I’m dying laughing about all the hundreds of people googling “Yankee Candle” and finding this here not-blog of kitten-ses. OK. The tens of people. Surely someone still buys Yankee Candles, right?

    Lovely post lovely June with a whole lotta lovely pictures!

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  12. It is sad they had to go, but what a great start they had! Love and snuggles and fun and Edsel and adult cat glares. Ready for life, is what they are.

    I’m sorry about the migraine, and the poop under the bed.

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  13. Edsel’s doggie heart must be made of gold. The pics are all wonderful.

    Hope that MSG gets out of your system soon and your migraine dissipates. The post-migraine residual med feeling is such a drag.

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  14. Yeah, when animals start to pee and poop where they’re not supposed to, it gets a little easier to say farewell. I know you still must miss them, though. By the way, you have become a truly excellent pet photographer. I am amazed by the moments you capture, especially in pictures with 2 or more.

    Oh, and another suggestion for the new room from a friend who fosters both puppies and kittens– if you can get hold of a crib mattress that someone is giving away, cover with a waterproof mattress pad and then a sheet, and it makes a great pet bed.

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  15. Thank you for all of those kitten pictures! I love them. They just make me smile.

    I hope you are headache-free now, and that your house is poop-free. I also wish for you to be free to be you and me.

    I will stop now. Long day.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  16. We’re firmly in the canine camp around here (allergies) but your photos are heart melting for even the cat averse! Lovely post, pretty Juan, hope you’re feeling better by now.

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  17. You and Eds did an excellent job of fostering the kittens. They will become wonderful cats for some lucky people. I wonder if any of their new adopters saw their pictures here.

    I had no idea the kittens weren’t using the litter box, the little scamps. It was their way of making it a little easier to say goodbye.

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  18. Robyn is the kidden expert to consult with, for sure. She is 1 of only 2 not-blogs that I read daily (guess what the other one is). She has definitely had more than her share of the poopage from kittens. I’m sure that she gave you some good advice.

    I keep coming back and looking at that sweet sweet picture of one of the kittens and Edz sleepily snuggling. It makes my heart warm. Edz is definitely a pistol, but he really IS a good boy.

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