The Weeknd (God, is June hip)

[Flumps coat and purse in first, slides into booth after.] Have you been here long?

Sometimes, on Mondays, when I haven’t written all weekend, I sit down here at my desk and think, What the fuck did I just do for the last 72 hours? Today is one of those days. Then what I’ll do (tell us more, June. This is riveting.) is plug in my phone to see what pictures I took, and apparently Friday just didn’t exist. I took zero photos.

Remember when the camera (and your flashbulbs) would be on top of the fridge or in a closet or something, and you only got it out at Easter? “Everyone stand in front of this wall, because that wall will be fascinating in years to come.”

Anyway, maybe I had a migraine. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

IMG_5603.jpgAt least I know what I did Saturday. I did Nancy. Call PETA.

IMG_5598.jpgIMG_5590.jpgI had to get my eyelashes redone Saturday, because I’m a deep person who does a lot for the world in her spare time. And who understands first- and third-person rules. Anyway, since I was out, I called Ned. “Can I come visit Nancy?”

She’d had FOUR DAYS IN A ROW of pooping in the box. When I was there, it was the start of day five. “Let’s move her up to the computer room now,” I implored, because it was up to me. Nevertheless, that’s what we did, and I hobbled up those steps with cat bowls and so on, and Ned got her all set up.

“Let’s let her wander around while you’re home,” I implored, because any of this was my business.

She was so glad to have the house to wander again. Cooped up in that stupid half bath. Actually, that was always my favorite room when I lived there. Had wainscoting. And a teensy chandelier. And it was my color.

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[teensy chandelier not pictured.] [also, this is when I lived here. Ned does not have a fruity pink flamingo or an Eiffel Tower ring-holder.]

Anyway, it was all going great with Nancy till at some point she pooped behind the shower curtain, so she’s in that computer room till further notice.

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hooo go der?

To find that photo of my bathroom, fmr., I had to scroll back to photos from 2014. This photo was taken on the same day, as I traversed the basement stairs. Back when m’toes functioned.

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Anyway, I got my lashes done, and I like how one has already fallen off, here. Also too I look fairly dead here.

When I wasn’t hanging out with my animals or other people’s animals Saturday,

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Yes, I do know it’s probably nice enough out that I can clean all this furniture again. I’M BROKEN.

I finally got my broken-toe shoes that the doctor said I had to get. I’d been to all sorts of no-nonsense-shoes stores I never go into.

Dowdy ShoeWarehouse.

You Look Like Thom McCann.

Too Many Clarks Bars.

Wayless (attractive) Shoes.

REI‘m Butch.

Why do athletic, down-to-earth gals always hate me?

But I finally found luck (“luck”) at the Birkenstock store, where a young salesboy had to hear approximately 47,000 inappropriate Birkenstocks jokes from me.

“I’m not really a Birkenstock person,” I explained to him, first thing, as soon as I hobbled in, like I’m Zsa Zsa Gabor or something, with all this glamor. You know what that whippersnapper at the store would not know? Is who Zsa Zsa Gabor is.

IMG_5642 2.jpgThe point is, I got these, for a mere $138. I have $68 till payday now. Who knew granola women paid so much for shoes?

I’ve worn them all weekend, except for late Saturday night, when I was going to bed and stubbed my broken toe on the cat scratcher.

God

DAMMIT.

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Hot Saturday night at the Gardens house. The Gardens/Silverman/Frost house. No one here has the same last name. Well, Iris and Lilly both share “Frost” as a last name. What is wrong with me?

IMG_5655.jpgOn Sunday, I groomed.

Did some cleaning.

IMG_5658.jpgIMG_5659.jpgOf course he’s that cat. The play-with-sheets cat. Do you enjoy my Tums? Hot. Tums and enzyme cleaner for cat pee. Hotter.

The shelter wrote me this weekend to see if I wanted to take another mom and her four kittens. I said no. I am so not ready after that last fiasco. See? Sometimes I have impulse control.

Anyway, as I was taking recycling out or something, I looked over at Peg’s and noted…

IMG_5664.jpg…her tulip tree’s bloomed. She always bemoaned that tree, because it either didn’t bloom at all or it would too early and then there’d be a freeze and all the buds would die. I sent her this picture, through her daughter. I hope she likes seeing it. I know seeing her house gray will piss her off. She liked the yellow.

I also saw The Post yesterday afternoon, and I think that means I’ve seen all the Oscar-nominated films, including the shorts, so I am all set for Oscar night.

IMG_5661 2.jpgI even have the shoes.

150 thoughts on “The Weeknd (God, is June hip)

  1. I have never seen all the Oscar movies before the Oscars. I’m envious. So far I’ve seen 1: Ladybird.

    I am keeping up the good thoughts for Ned and Nancy. They make such a cute couple.

    Lovely post, pretty June.

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  2. And your photography skills have been on fire! I used to read your blog back years ago when you had a few blurry photos, but look at you now! Just lovely.

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  3. Not sure you’ll appreciate my comment.

    First thought on seeing your mask was it looked like my grandson’s something-or-other-kind of geckos (they’re not small and green) who shed their skins regularly. It makes them look grayish and then you can spot the loose skin. Of course, they also eat the shed skin once done. (The things you do because you love your grandchildren… like video the shedding process because he’s at his dad’s house when it’s happening. Ugh! I never in my life planned to share my home with reptilian creatures.)

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  4. I like the new shoes! I couldn’t tell if you were being serious about the shoes you had ordered from Amazon when you wrote about them before. I think the new pair is much more practical!

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  5. I used to wear Birkies all the time but have switched to the even uglier Keens. They are great for summer travel. I have no tolerance for painful shoes.

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  6. Good grief. I posted a long comment and WordPress ate it.
    Trying again: cool shoes. Report back on comfort please. Thanks for mask info. Was wondering about those as I’m makeup and skincare challenged. Glad Nancy is still w Ned. Love the tulip (or not tulip) tree.

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  7. Oscar night! I did that only once…watched all the nominated movies. Then on Oscar night I dressed up, opened a bottle of champagne, and enjoyed the awards show so much more.
    I’m trying to repeat that this year but have only seen 4 of the movies so far.
    Lovely post, lovely June.

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  8. Weekend at Junie’s! But without the dead guy. Unless that mask thingy counts. And did the cute shoes help? FYI, whilst in college in , a neighbor had a cat named, I kid you not, Herbal Birkenstock Granola Sprout, Herb for short. That cat did not wear “those” shoes, but his owner did.

    Lovely post, coot. And great photos.

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  9. Love the shoes. I’m a granola type anyway, though. I wear Danskos, and in the summer I wear Birks. I also have a bottle of Tums next to my bed. Hate the fucking GERD.

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  10. I understand why you aren’t ready to foster another gang of feral kittens. It’s a big responsibility and a lot of tootsie rolls.
    Nice post, Coot!

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  11. Lovely post, June!
    Love the photos. LUUUUUU! Love the way Ned is looking at Nancy. I really hope it works out for them. Love your lashes. LOVE those shoes. I’m sure they’d look terrible on my enormous size 10s, but they look super cute on your smaller feet.

    Have you seen the nominated documentaries? I watched one on Netflix over the weekend. “Strong Island.” Heartbreaking. Anyway, are we gathering here, or on The Face, to live-chat the Oscars?

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  12. Good lord, 100 freaking comments and I made sure to read every single one before commenting.

    Nancy is beautiful, that’s actually a very cool picture of Ned and Nancy.

    Cute shoes, the word magenta comes to mind.

    I can’t tell if sprawly tummy kitty cat is Lily or Iris. So cute!

    Okay, since you have seen all the movies, I’m interested to know your Oscar predictions. I predict the show will be long and boring. Doesn’t stop me from watching it though.

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  13. I hope the weather holds so that tree can bloom. I bet it’s gorgeous in full flower.

    Also, I LOVE the color of your shoes. A nurse friend wears Dansko for her 12 hour shifts — says they’re ultra comfortable.

    You’re so pretty!

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  14. Your lashes look lovely! I think they are too much of a pain in the ass for me though. I love my oil facial cleanser and I think oils are a big no-no for extensions. No? Or would that be yes?

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  15. I wonder if poor sweet Nancy is marking her territory. When we bought our home we had that issue, which I’d completely forgotten about, with our two cats. The prior owners had cats and our two cats pooped and peed everywhere trying to mark the house as theirs. It was awful.
    I love the red shoes. I’d wear them even if my toe wasn’t broken. But, I also wear Birkenstock sandals so ther is that.
    Lovely post, beautiful June.

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  16. Because of you I had my eyelashes done on Saturday. They look amazing! That was a great tip. I love when you do things and I just can copy them. Thank you.

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    • Seeing June’s beauty adventures makes me consider some too. Not sure I could rock the eyelashes. Her posts about procedures make me a little less afraid of getting Botox someday. I’ve wondered about chemical peels too, but I always think of that Sex and the City episode where Samantha gets a peel and her face looks super raw.

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  17. I think Nancy is just so cute! She should just look like an average tabby cat but something about her little face is so special.

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  18. I love the shoes very much. The eyelash thing seems like a real time suck with minimal success. I love how you are willing to try new things.
    I’m really hoping that Nancy can get her shit together. She is so pretty!

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  19. Oh my goodness, how did I not notice before that Nancy’s white-tipped paws look like fingerless gloves? Stop pooping where you shouldn’t, Nancy! Also, your Eiffel Tower ring holder makes me super nervous. I’d be dropping rings down the sink way too easily, but clearly that system works for you. Well done on your coordination, then.

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  20. Ned looks like A) he just rolled out of bed and 2) such a proud papa. Look at him gaze with love upon Nancy. If only a guy looked at me the way he looks at his cats. And I’m married.

    And I love that picture of Eye-riss. She has such a dignified air about her.

    Lovely post, Coot.

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  21. Those shoes look great. That is just a personal statement because I am not a fashion expert. In fact, I learn most of what I know about new trends from this here not-blog. Personally I go for easy to wear and comfortable. Those shoes fit the bill, but I still couldn’t wear them. M’ankles are too water retentioned for them to work. Alack and alas. Also too, love the photo of Nancy owning Ned.

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  22. Great post. Great shoes. Are used to get my eyelashes done every other week. Left luck, hated the cost! You look very pretty.

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    • Sorry, talk to text sometimes sucks! Loved the look, hated the cost. And it was supposed to read I used to get my eyelashes done. Sigh.

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  23. Jackson Galaxy is truly a cat whisperer. His Cat From Hell Show will make you and Ned think that Nancy is a saint. Love the shoes. If they protect you from further damage and pain, whatever they look like would be a win for me. You are so pretty, June.

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  24. I love the shoes. And the Eiffel Tower ring holder. And the floofy belly. And Nancy’s sweet face and white toes. Well, the entire post, actually.

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  25. I love the shoes and may be looking for a new pair myself as I appear to be developing a tailor’s bunion (the last part of that sentence should be read in a whisper full of shame). The indignities of aging never cease.

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  26. Saucer Magnolia is my guess. They flower first, then get their leaves. There was one outside my bedroom window when I was a kid. I may or may not have climbed out of the window and shimmied down that tree a time or two.

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  27. All my cats, fmr. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it when I would change the bed with the sheets being fluffed. They always wanted to stay under the sheets. I don’t understand why Trudy Trotter goes nuts when we try to cover her. I guess I need to consult that cat behavior person. Cats always love clean sheets.

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  28. The shoes!! Red is a great neutral color for shoes. Goes with everything.

    And have I ever mentioned, that you have great taste? I never say it, but your house is adorable. I like the colors and the furniture and even when you say it’s got issues, that, to me, just makes me love you more.

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  29. The shoes are cute. We need a side view. I have the same rug your cats are lounging on. I just got it on Friday and I really like it!

    Lovely post, coot!

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    • If there are eyeballs, it’s Lily. Oh, you mean the one on the floor? That’s Lily. She always sleeps that way, like an otter. Or someone with very little pride.

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  30. Once upon a time I read that yellow houses sell quickly. My family is selling a house for a flipper in Texas. If you like that kind of thing, let me know. It isn’t yellow.

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    • Oh great. I never wear shoes. I hate them all. I take my shoes off under my desk most of the day.
      Also I had no idea hard soles shoes would help broken toes. I have broken my little toe lots of times. (Guess that’s why your husband thinks I shouldn’t go barefoot!)

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  31. I love Danskos. I used to have a yellow suede pair of clogs until a gay co-worker told me that I looked like I was heading to Lilith Fair after work. (plus they really didn’t go with my clothes, I just liked the way they felt when I walked in them).

    so these look cute, and if you don’t love them, they can be the dog walking shoes.

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  32. Poor Nancy. Solitary confinement. Also, too? I like the shoes. I wish (well maybe not really) that I had a broken toe and therefore and excuse to wear such.

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  33. Awww, sweet Nancy. Ned looks so happy with her. Not advice, just info and feel free to ignore… Ned may be able to get some Nancy pointers by watching Jackson Galaxy’s show “My Cat From Hell” or looking him up online. He is a cat behavior expert and I recall him stating that cats can have an issue with territory when they pee or poop all over. Perhaps Nancy smells NedKitty and has issue with it. Perhaps not. But, if she eventually reverts back to pooping all over once he lets her out of confinement, he might consider it. Jackson has actual solutions…although I know Ned has tried everything. Anyway, don’t slap me. Just sharing because I haven’t seen anyone mention it yet and I really want Ned and Nancy to work out.

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    • Yes, NedKitty scent! That complicates things! Especially because there’s no other evidence of her…where is the cat that left all this scent? When is she going to pop out and attack me? Plus the possible “ferals like to poop under cover” issue. Poor Nancy.

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  34. Lovely post, June.
    Lovely shoes, June.
    And now that you made me think of it, all of my pets have first, middle, last names and even nicknames. My current dog is named Ernest T. Bass. We call him Bassy most times. It was pointed out to me that when he’s an ass we should call him a Basshole.

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  35. Love the picture of the kitty underneath the sheet. Mine come out of the woodwork if I even have the thought of changing the sheets, no chance of fur free bedding in my bedroom. Lovely post, June!

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  36. I wear ugly granola girl shoes too because of horrible plantar fasciitis….Alegria brand. I need to look at Danskos because those are really cute!

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    • I can assure you that is not a magnolia tree. They have large, slick, dark green leaves that stay on the tree year round. They do drop their leaves all through the year, but never to the point the branches are leave-less, like that branch in the photo. And the leaves NEVER decompose, never and snakes love the fallen leaves. That is just one of the reasons we had the huge magnolia in our yard removed.

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        • In Australia, the tree we call Magnolia loses all its leaves over winter, and then buds and flowers while leafless. Just like Pegs tree. I would call it a magnolia. But I have never heard of tulip trees. Thats why botanists always use the latin because common names can shift so much. Which is also why I avoid botanists.

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        • Yes, southern magnolia. I live in the middle of what used to be a nursery and we have the southern magnolias and those tulip trees, along with a lot of other trees and bushes. I just looked at my “Georgia Gardener’s Guide” and there are saucer and star magnolias in Georgia. I can’t tell from the photo in the book if the tree next door (to me) is a tulip tree or a saucer magnolia. We always called them tulip trees, but my book doesn’t list the tulip tree. Thank you for educating me. Come to June’s blo…website for an education. Snakes do love hiding under those fallen southern magnolia leaves.

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        • Anita, they are terrible, constantly dropping leaves and those pods that fall after they bloom. We had a huge one removed from our front yard because we were always having to clean up the leaves…and pods. Our tree was well over 50 years old, but such a mess, but it was a southern magnolia.

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    • I was going to say it looks a LOT like my Jane Magnolia, which looks nothing like the greater-known magnolias of the Southern states. Which is appropriate for this post with your Mary Janes!

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  37. Pooped behind the shower curtain. OMG, I adore this cat. And rest assured, should I ever be invited Chez Ned, I plan to poop behind the shower curtain as well.

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  38. The red shoes are gorgeous and I agree the perfect shade of red. That is like the perfect not neurtal neutral if that makes any sense? It does to me.

    I never knew there were tulip trees! Maybe they aren’t good in our Northern zone? I want one!

    @Tee, Dexter shoes were saving my feet in retail too. I could stand eight hours without pain. Sadly they sold out, are manufactured overseas and are crappy now. I miss the well made ones. My podiatrist recommended them, he wore them himself.

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    • Raspberry, I was sick when Dexter sold out to, probably China. You are right, they are crappy now. I wore those shoes slap out. I’m now in Brooks running shoes, they are expensive, but I’m on my 5th pair. I finally figured out the right size for me and they are wonderful. I went up one complete size and went to the wides.

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  39. We have horrible snow covered everything weather here right now so you get a pass from me on the porch furniture cleaning. Why why why are the cute comfortable shoes so expensive? I need comfy ( because old) but I am so cheap. My shoe wardrobe does not reflect my great fashion sense as a result.

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  40. Those are cute shoes. Are they comfortable? Love the color. Before I retired I had a couple pair of Dexters that were made like that and those shoes saved by poor feet. I couldn’t walk on the concrete floors on which I was working.

    I hope Nancy can get her pooping issues worked out. Poor baby. Is she healing well from the surgery?

    It is way too soon to clean patio furniture. We have to get through March. I think we are going to pay for this premature warm weather. Some of my flowers have started to bud and when it turns cold again I’m going to have to cover them.

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  41. Cute shoes, June. Once upon a time, I had a pair of Dansko’s. They were too heavy for me and made my legs ache so I gave them to my sister. If only I’d known that one day you would need them. Is that an eyelash sitting on your cheekbone in your first picture? I love seeing Nancy and Ned together.

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  42. The shoe store names were hilarious!

    It’s still too early to clean your deck furniture, rest assured.

    Also, I see those masky looking things on people who either post photos with them or I’ve seen people on TV shows with them… what do they do?
    I’m not big into makeup doo-dads but if my pores cold reduce from their current manhole-cover size to something more human, I’m in.

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  43. I was thinking what LNTL said , they will last forever and are something I would wear every day as well.
    Nose, what nose, with those lashes. (I am in the “your nose is fine” camp, no matter.)
    Nancy , one room at a time. She looks at home with that happier homeless man , she must be good for him.
    She doesn’t seem feral one bit.

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  44. OMG, your shoe store names had me laughing out loud!! And I drive a subaru and I wear Burt Bees chap stick. I think the the fact that I love those shoes you got might be the final nail in my coffin. My husband and kids will be so sad to hear…

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  45. I love how Ned looks so happy with Nancy. I’m assuming that was before the pooping incident. She really is a beautiful cat.

    Those shoes are very cute. I actually like them better than the doc martins to be honest. That shade of red is perfect.

    Lovely post pretty Joon.

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  46. I love your Birks! I would wear those every dang day they are so cute. And also too while you may not be able to buy groceries this week (or month) those shoes are gonna last you a loooooong time. I am still wearing Birkenstock sandals that I bought in 1992. And since they’re never IN style they never go OUT of style!

    Lovely post June! So many pets! So little time!

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