She lost her youth and she lost her Tony. Home perm.

There's a weird smell in my house, and I took out the trash hoping that was it, but I just noticed it again as I came in here, and I can't help but think, What did a cat murder and bring in here? Like, somewhere the circle of life has circled, and I've yet to … Continue reading She lost her youth and she lost her Tony. Home perm.

June Doles Out the Special Banana Post

Were you worried I'd slip and forget the banana story? Did you think I'd peel out of work Friday and forget you? That I'd split and forget about the banana? What a fruity idea. June's readers. Finding June unapPEELing since 2018. As you know, from your Enormous Banana of June Events, my ridik coworker Camilo--whom … Continue reading June Doles Out the Special Banana Post

It’s Pi day! This blog no longer has “pie” in its title! So now I’m just berserk!

"Beep!" "Beep!" 12:50 a.m. it was, and some DAMN beep from some DAMN alarm was going off last night. It'd almost be better to die of the carbon monoxide or the intruder than keep getting awakened with these damn beeps. They always have to be "damn" beeps. I threw the covers off and got up … Continue reading It’s Pi day! This blog no longer has “pie” in its title! So now I’m just berserk!

Press One for I Hate Automated Operators

You know how when you call a place now, you never, ever get a person? I'm in the rare and elusive crowd who finds that annoying. I know most people adore it. What I hope is that when I'm having my...exchange with these automated systems that they are not, in fact, recording my responses, because … Continue reading Press One for I Hate Automated Operators

What it’s like to clean your house when you have ADD

I've got the ADD. I'm just glad my doctor officially diagnosed me last year. One has to have a written prescription for ADD meds. They're addictive, or something. A few weeks after my initial appointment with my new doctor, in which we discussed everything, he called. "I called in your migraine and GERD prescriptions, but … Continue reading What it’s like to clean your house when you have ADD