Sleeping on top of the peacock

I’ve been up since 4:53 a.m. I didn’t even have to slop any hogs or anything; I just woke up. I’d been sleeping with Steely Dan, because he came in last night at a weird time (as in, at all. He usually leaves at sundown and never returns till dawn), and I wasn’t thinking, and when I went in to bed, there he was splayed across my new peacock chenille bedspread that my coworker Poochie gave me. Hang on, I’ll show it to you.

IMG_6708.jpgOkay, the bed’s not, like, display-floor made. I didn’t know I was gonna bring you all in here this morning.

Anyway, there he was. Splayed. And of course my first thought was, Oh, no. Because you know he eats m’clothes. But it appears he only slept on the peacock, as he was tired after his many roof adventures.
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it exhaust to be steelee

The point is, he was so cute and sleepy, so I let him stay all night.

Here’s the thing. There are two kinds of cats in this world: head-butters and nonhead-butters. Sadly for me, 66% of my cats butt heads.

That’s two-thirds, right? 66%? Don’t ask me to do maths like this.

Solid, huge Steely Dan enjoys cramming his solid, huge head into my face, over and over, with his stupid always-wet nose, and this may be why I awoke at 4:53. Then, when I tried to go back to sleep, birds started chirping because STUPID SPRING and SD draped his tail across my face and then whipped it, because birds because STUPID SPRING.

Whip. Whip. Whip. Big huge solid tail.

The other head-butter, in case you were curious, is giant fat Lily.

The only cat who’s feather-light, who when you pick her up it’s like air and fur, is Iris, who never head butts, probably because she can’t see my head.

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eyeriss SEE thing. she just choowse not to sometime.

But speaking of Iris, I took her to the vet this weekend for her shots, as it was a year ago at this time that she was mauled by old Pitty and Chewie, over here, the neighbor dogs who got out. The vet said she looks really great, and then he said, “Wow, her teeth are wonderful. Have you had them cleaned?”

Pfft. Have I had them cleaned. I used to do that to poor Mr. Horkheimer, till I walked in one day when they were in the middle of cleaning him and it looked like torture. So no.

The vet said that in his experience, when cats have really good teeth, they seem to have good genes in general and live a long time. Yay. Don’t tell anyone, but I like this info because Iris is my f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a lovely, you know, whatever holiday you celebrate.

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This was how I Eastered. I did not PASS OVER the chance to eat these.

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This was also how I Eastered. THEY HAVE GLITTER DYE NOW WHY DOES GOD ADORE ME SO.

I’m tryina think of anything else I did.

IMG_6543.jpgMy mother sent me a dress that really goes for the JUGular.

Also, I went to the antique store near me, looking for lamps in all the wrong places. I say this because I didn’t FIND one. Also I can’t afford one, because do you remember when we had the $99 membership for another year of WordPress? They sent me ANOTHER bill for the upgrade I apparently also did last year.

Sigh.

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If this hadn’t been beige, my least-most-favorite color, I’d have like it.
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Sequence. Oh, kill me now.
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I’m really hoping this fox died in his sleep of natural causes.
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“I didn’t, hooman bitz.”
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“Hey, you’re sitting in our seats.” “I don’t see your NAME on…oh.”

I also once again left my house that had cats and coffee in it to go to a cafe with cats and coffee in it.

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wat.
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dis ideea not my bag
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And I saw this sign and it made me sad.

And finally, after several months, I got a pedicure. I was scared to death it would pain my broken toe, but it mostly didn’t. Because powering through a pedicure with a broken toe is how I tomboy.

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For those of you who actually groom rather than proudly announcing you don’t, have you ever noticed that after you get a pedicure you are obsessed with your feet for a few days?

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Oh, look. M’feet.

I guess the same as there are head-butting cats and…not, there are women who love to groom and women who think it’s frivolous. I find wind surfing frivolous, but you never hear me saying that. Well. Except just now.

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Yu done tawking now?
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Seeryuslee, mom. Yuu done?

I guess I’d better shower and go to work. I have not one but two huge things due today, and they will both take all day, and yet somehow I must do both today. I do not know how I will pull this off, but no matter how I do it, I will do it complainingly.

Butting your head with my words,
Juun

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

40 thoughts on “Sleeping on top of the peacock”

  1. Yes, I stare at my lovely toes every chance I get for a few days after a pedicure. I got one last week (Yay!), but since then I have had TWO nightmares where I look down and all the polish is gone and I am sad, because I cannot afford to get a pedicure every 3 days. I have weird dreams and, apparently, a pedicure fetish.

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  2. OK – it took me a minute but I was finally able to scroll past the Cleavage that is June. Wowza!

    I am not a grooming type generally, but I do love a good pedicure and am likewise obsessed with my feet for days after. Right now I am obsessed with how badly I need a pedicure!

    Lovely post June!

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  3. Love your new bedspread and the glitter eggs. If SD dares to chew the bedspread, I expect we will see him boiled and glittered the following day.

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  4. I LOVE that peacock bedspread! Hi, Poochie! June, did you show JP the beige lamp? Also and furthermore, it appears my doctor has bailed on me. Did you have anything to do with this, Joon? Well, did you??

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  5. That bedspread is everything! Thank the heavens SD was not in a fabric snacking mood! I agree on the biege, it’s a shame, that would have been fabulous in a real color.
    I’ve never had a pedicure. I would like to now but diabetics are not allowed to, fear of infection.

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      1. I didn’t know that, and I am a diabetic also. I don’t get pedicures because I am way too ticklish. I tried it one time, and it was like torture for me. On occasion, I will just get my toenails polished, but I usually don’t bother.

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    1. Koala, you can still get pedicures, but nail clipping and rough callus removal is not recommended for people living with diabetes. Ask them to file your nails instead. Also watch the water temperature.

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  6. I love that color on your toes! My Buster was a head-butter, usually around 4:00 AM. I prefer that to the cat we have now. He jumps up on the bed bites my arm and jumps back down, all in one fell swoop. Unless he misses my arm and gets my face instead. Remind me again why we have cats.

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  7. Dang, Boobs McGee over here.

    After I get a pedicure I tend to constantly rub my feet together and feel how lovely and soft the bottoms of my feet are. Like two little babies’ behinds. On my feet.

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  8. I desperately need need some toe time. I need for Pam to ask me if I worked today and if I have a boyfriend and then the other Pam to come over and tell me I need gel and she will upgrade to a gel for only five dollars more. Then Pam and Pam will argue in their native tongue until other Pam snorts and walks away guilting me into paying five dollars more for the gel which I hate because to take it off they have to peel off the top layer of your nail. NO? Your nail salon isn’t like that?

    I love that bedspread. I have been looking for a pretty bedspread for my guest bedroom that is mid-century cottage-y. So far I have found nothing.

    Nice post Coot

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  9. “…no matter how I do it, I will do it complainingly.” Alex needs to embroider this on something!

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  10. I am in love with that bedspread!

    Not only do I look at me feet more often when I get a pedicure, I show them off to my husband, and my kids, and everyone is all “we see, Mom, thanks. Yes, go away.”

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  11. “What knockers!”

    Love love love that peacock bedspread. LOVE. IT.

    We used to have season seats at a sporting venue and our names were on our seats, which always gave me a “I am SOMEBODY!” thrill. Arrived at the venue one time and someone was sitting in our seats. I kindly informed the people they were in the wrong seats. They insisted *I* was wrong and even used the “I don’t see your name on the seat” at which point I told them to look on the seat and they would actually SEE my name. I win, Scooter.

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  12. Sequence. I shared that with my son and he told me about a coworker, fmr., who once wrote that she had sent an alfa david to a customer. Made my day.

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  13. Hoots! My cat sits on me and will lick and nudge until she’s over me and then nips. I try to get going before this happens. I’m trained very well. I’m weird about feet. (How does one get traumatized as a child over feet??) I like mine. And, yes, I love a good polish. And I’m going to say it – as I know I might get liver’d … What happened on your favorite holiday?

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  14. Your new/old chenille bedspread is so divine! I love vintage chenilles! Most of them are made for twin or double beds, and we don’t have those sizes in our house, BUT they make excellent shower curtains. I got the pinch clip style of curtain rings and ta daaaa – self-proclaimed winner of the Cute Shower Curtain Contest!

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  15. Thank you, Anonymous. I need to look in to that. I was told none in diabetic education classes. I had a full body massage once and the feet were the best part for me! My friend agrees and her husband won’t let anyone touch his feet, he is so ticklish. I’d had foot massages at the end of PT after foot surgery and those were great too.

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  16. I must be obsessed with your hoots, coot. Because in the one photo, boobs for days, but in the other ones, the neckline is higher. Perhaps 2 different dresses. In any event, if you wear that first one on a date, he will never see how pretty your eyes are.

    I am in need of my spring mani-pedi, but I’ve been working in my garden and have ruined my nails. So, I will have to wait for that treat another week or two.

    Do you think Ed and Karen liked each other? I hope so, since they are bonded for life.

    And that dog walking placard. How sweet is that? 4 times a day – that’s quite the committed walker. I love people who love dogs.

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  17. Loved this post. My husband saw the closeup photo of Iris and asked about her. I had to explain she was blind, but murdered the critters. Then I showed him SD on the roof. His comment, “how do they get up there?” We have a long-haired SD, she gets on the roof of his workshop and we can’t figure out how. My aunt had a fox like that one. My brother and I always thought it was cool.

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  18. I also Eastered. We did eggs sans glitter–so you win on that front. The Easter Bunny left all sorts of chocolate and we had a huge brunch and a huge dinner. We were well fed, is what I am saying. I wish I would have known about Jesus Christ Superstar live before today, I would have loved to have seen it. Did you watch? Oh, right. Musical. Sorry.

    Your bedspread is awesome, and I know nothing of head-butting cats. I do know about kicking in their sleep/snoring dogs, however.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  19. I kind of Eastered, too. I boiled a bunch of eggs, and used five for potato salad. I didn’t have any dye so I wrote in ink on the other boiled eggs what color they were supposed to be. We had blue, purple, pink, green, etc., etc. Guess nobody’s noticed yet. Either that or they’re so used to me they didn’t bat an eye.

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  20. According to my Official Calendar of Joob© yesterday was a national holiday for them that live in the Joob Nation. And yet, I heard of no raucous celebrations, pranks, and/or the like. WTF? Also, “hot damn, Beatrice’s got her knockers up”. Rusty Warren. Google effing it.

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  21. That bedspread and your hoots are amazing.

    And yes, after a pedicure I love my feet and pretty much think I could be a foot model.

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  22. I love all types of pampering—massages, pedicures, manicures, waxing, etc.
    I’m very confused by people who say they don’t like other people to touch them. If I could, I would just go from one treatment room to the other in a continuous loop.

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  23. I LOVE that peacock quilt!! I grew up in a town in CA and there was one area that someone had brought some peacocks to and over the years the few became many and you can drive through the neighborhood and see peacocks on people’s front lawns with tail feathers on full display or peahens up on the roofs or peacocks strutting down the street with their beautiful long tails trailing behind. They ARE my childhood. when they call out to each other you can hear them for miles and sometimes it sounds like babies crying.
    I obsess over my feet for WEEKS after getting them done. I went to get then done yesterday but the shop was closed. grrrr. I would have gone somewhere else but I have a gift card.

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