I got 99 lives, and also more lives because math

Yesterday I heard from the animal shelter. I was wondering what was taking them so long, because I know kitten season is upon us.

“We have, well, we have 7 kittens and their mom,” they said apologetically, like they were sorry for even asking.

“I’ll be there right after work,” I said. Maybe I’m the only person who thinks she struck gold when she hears, “Seven kittens and a mom cat need to stay with you for a few weeks,” but MOTHER OF GOD.

Or kittens.

So I schlepped through the driving rain, like Dwayne in Annie Hall, which is probably funny to like four of you. It was funny to fewer of you than there are kittens. Anyway, I drove, on the stupidest street we have in Greensboro, at 5 o’clock at night, and Dear Shelter: Why you gotta be somewhere annoying?

Anyway I got there 20 minutes before close and they were packed. There were two guys picking up a cute-headed pit, and they had 494939530204042 questions. “Well, let’s say we’re in Appalachia, and the humidity was 24. What would we do if…?” I mean, with the QUESTIONS already.

So since I had time to, oh, do whatever, what do you think I did?

IMG_7191.jpgIMG_7192.jpgIMG_7190.jpgDid I take that moment to fall in love with a gray grownupeldy minty-eyed kitty named Max? Perhaps I did. I’d have scooped him up if I didn’t currently have

TWELVE

animals in my house at the moment.

Twelve. I have apostles.

Eventually, they were able to hand me over the cat carrier, and I glanced inside, because they’d told me nothing about what COLOR kittens I was getting, so it was like when you pick one door on Let’s Make a Deal or some other similar current reference.

img_7196.jpgOrange!

IMG_7200.jpgEveryone’s orange!

IMG_7229.jpgOkay, well, some of us are tortoiseshell-ish. Which is also orange, just all mixed up like butterscotch. Which makes no sense.

And I want to assure you that floor is not filthy. It’s that damn concrete floor I used to blog in, before my Year Abroad, and while I’ve scraped and painted and carried on with that floor, it peels all the time, rendering it terrible-looking. But I swept in there and put a quilt down, and what you’re seeing is the paint effing peeling, and you know what I need to do? I need to get Alf to put down some tile.

What I want is retro-looking linoleum. Who’s going to be annoyed with me, do you think, when I ask him to lay retro-looking linoleum and not floating clicky easy tiles?

Anyway back to our kittens. Who cares how Alf my ridik handyman feels?

What is not easy is photographing teensy kittens. I think they’re probably three or four weeks old.

Out of 497 photos, here are the only halfway decent ones I got.

IMG_7209.jpg

IMG_7223.jpg
I worry about this runty one, whom I’ve named Elizabeth. I’ve named them all after the Waltons, as there were seven of them. She’s so TEENSY.

IMG_7227.jpg

IMG_7243.jpg
This is Erin
img_7260.jpg
Mom (Cora Godsey) with John Boy and JimBob

Anyway, as they get older, it’ll be easier to take photos of them.

Meanwhile, the regularly scheduled dog and cat bowls have been moved from the kitchen, and the litterboxes are back here with me. None of my cats care that there are kittens back there. They hear them, but they’re all, eh. Dis agan.

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U not gooeng to eet kiddens, do you, Steelee?

I read my tarot cards every month, and one of the categories is “You in the Environment of the Future.”

Here’s me, in the environment of the present, with KITTENS.

IMG_7253.jpgAnd hurr. It’s been raining.

IMG_7441.jpgWhile we’re on the topic of cats, you know, just a bit, yesterday was the last day of SD’s confinement, as he is now done with his antibiotics. And today? It’s raining cats and cats. I held the door open for him, and as SO BORED OH SO BORED as he is, he wouldn’t go out in it.

IMG_7442.jpgInstead, he is opting to wreak havoc throughout the land. I also caught him coming from the laundry area, so I shudder to think of what he ate.

Clothes-chewing ass.

IMG_7269.jpgSo that’s all my news. There are 108 lives in this house currently.

IMG_7226.jpg

You don’t even wanna know how long it took me to figure out the maths of that.

Orange you glad I blogged today?

June. Who you callin’ crazy cat lady?

54 thoughts on “I got 99 lives, and also more lives because math

  1. Oh my god they are so little! Like they don’t have their true kitten faces yet, just their round heads, little ears and blue eyes kitten faces, right? You are a saint, June! I do hope Steely Dan did not eat anything he wasn’t supposed to.

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  2. Wait…I am one of seven sibling! But did you use OUR names? NOOOOO… *flounces off in a huff*

    JK, love the Waltons theme. Though there may only be four of us who get that. *sigh*

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  3. LOOK AT THOSE FACES!!!!! If I lived close I would be at your door right now, just like Sheldon knocking, knocking knocking. If I had those kittens and mom ALL my productivity would be a thing of the past. They are beautiful. And that green-eyed gray kitty Max! Why has he not been adopted?

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  4. Kittenses!! I love how mom cats always look so beleaguered and slightly pissed off; it makes me feel better about my attitude as a mother.

    My Fergus kitty has those minty eyes and his shelter name was also Max, so I could easily convince myself that Mr. Max of Greensboro is destined to live with me. Sigh. Too many kitties, not enough house.

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  5. Hello darling babies! I love every single one of you! I will be thinking harmonious thoughts for you and your household as you live with the apostles for the next few weeks.

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  6. Christopher Walken was Dwayne. I refer to that scene whenever I end up in a sketchy situation on the road but most memorably when a hotel doorman in Italy put us in a unmarked sedan. It was 5am, dark, raining and an hour-long drive to the airport. My husband was in the front. I was in the back with the kids At one point, my husband asked how I was doing. (We had been warned over and over against taking an unlicensed cab.) I felt a need to speak in code. “Remember Annie Hall?”

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  7. Such cuties! I love both orange and tortie cats. And Max with the pretty eyes. My daughter’s neighbor moved and left her his cat, since he was always at her house anyway. He’s an orange polydactyl His name’s — wait for it — Poly.

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  8. Torties and oranges and minty eyes, oh my. I feel the universe rained down a huge kitten/cat bonus on you for the lovliness you put out there yesterday with your beautiful post. And we get to share in it, vicariously. We are very lucky to have you to follow. I adored The Waltons. Cute names!

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  9. I love the pic of the two orange cats in line. Does the shelter help with food costs or anything or shall we all hit the tip jar? As I recall, they do not. BBOJ page 20098. In any case, I will- because you are truly doing a wonderful thing, thanks Joon!! Look forward to more pictures, thanks for sharing them with us.

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  10. PS. I loved the Waltons, my mom used to watch it and when she was PMS-y she would get all teary and that’s when I knew. I was too young for hormones, but I did like that show.

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  11. Some of my best childhood memories…sitting with wet hair as my Mom brushed out the tangles on Sunday night watching the Wonderful World of Disney followed by the Waltons. As an only child it was fascinating to me …except I was deathly afraid of the Grandma.

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  12. Count me among the four who watched The Waltons. What a clever naming theme. You are a saint for taking in the baby-makes-eight family. Mama cat is most likely thinking Eight is Enough!

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  13. Have had two cats who were the runty ones of the litter. Best cats ever. I would have to keep her if I was you. Which is why I can’t foster kittens.

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  14. The only Walton’s I remember was the one where they had a poltergeist. I’m still scared of ghosts now at 46. Those little babies though! Yum. I could eat them up. But I won’t.

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  15. Elizabeth didn’t seem so little until I saw her next to JimBob… she is so itty bitty and sweet!
    You are so lucky you get kittens again.

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  16. I also was a Walton’s watcher. My family still thinks it hilarious when we are all together and going to sleep to shout “Good night, JohnBoy” into the darkness.
    And Max? THAT is a gorgeous cat.

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  17. I believe you need a little xylophone and a harmonica to accompany all the “goodnights.”

    All those pink noses.

    Apostles! You can save those names for the next litter of 12.

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  18. Thank you for sharing your talent with us via yesterday’s offering (and of course today’s).

    Enjoy the deluxe pooper scooper which will arrive in the next day or so from your Amazon wish list. All those cute little noses and sweet tiny meows have a flip side. I admire you and know this is a LABOR of love.

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  19. Re concrete floor, isn’t “distressed” still a fashionable thing? But if you insist on retro linoleum, I’m partial to cream and pale green pebble shapes with little gold squares of glitter between some of them. From my distant youth.

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  20. Thanks for the Dwayne reference. Actually, you could make a reference to any Chris Walken character in any movie, and I’d be happy.

    I don’t get the whole “kittens are cute” thing. Kittens look scraggly and distorted to me. There’s a fun house mirror aspect to their faces that I find unsettling. Puppies, on the other hand….

    P.S., Regarding prior post and Joni Mitchell song: Pleasantly surprised you’d like a song from Blue (her masterpiece). I would have figured you more as a Court and Spark kind of gal.

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  21. I’m new here, but oh my lawd with the adorable felines! Are you fostering them or keeping them? Either way, they’re lucky to have you.
    I read your last post about running…I’ve gotta say, you really tugged at my heart with your writing.
    XO

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    1. Welcome, Suz. Like the rest of us, you were lucky to find June. She’s fostering so get ready to adopt your favorite although you may have to fight LaUral for the torties.

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  22. I adore orange cats!

    Have you thought about click Marmoleum (the original linoleum before it was full of chemicals)? https://www.greenbuildingsupply.com/Forbo-Marmoleum-Click?faux=52493

    Also too, I have an FYI for anyone deliberately supporting June thru Amazon… if you’re like me and put stuff in your cart and come back to buy it later, I read somewhere that the commission only goes to the person if purchased within 24 hours. So, what I do is to load up my cart and then when I’m ready to buy, copy the name of the item in my cart, delete the item from my cart, paste the the name into the search bar and then re-add it. (<— laborious directions included for free!)

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  23. Lordy, that’s a LOTTA CATS!!!
    My childhood tv time was spent between Little House, Happy Days/Laverne and Shirley, The Waltons, Wonderful World of Disney and the Brady Bunch. I am now ready to admit that I watched Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers far longer than my friends did. I used to say it was because I had a little sister and SHE wanted to watch, but that’s not the case.

    Your post yesterday was so fantastic. Really superb.

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    1. That is one of the advantages of younger siblings. Our brother made it possible for us to enjoy Sesame Street and The Electric Company when they came along. And we are five to eight years older than he is.

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  24. Those female tortoiseshells are full of piss ‘n’ vinegar. Our semi-wild (i.e., won’t let us touch her) barncat tortoiseshell mama had three kittens in the brooderhouse last fall, and we had to move them to the barn in hopes they’d survive the cold (long story) and the other four barn cats, which they have. BUT right from the get-go there was one female tortoiseshell in that litter, smaller than her two orange siblings, and she was the least shy of the three. She’d come and check me out when the other two were afraid, and now they’re still afraid but not her, hell no! She’s a firecracker. She wants petting and playing and lots of it. Also, in my experience: never mess with a female tortoiseshell. They’re something else. (Are there even male tortoiseshells?) – Kate

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    1. I heard that somewhere about torties and calicos only being female but not sure if it is true or not. Need to check Google!

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  25. Just got home from a long day at work and thank you! This has greatly improved my day.
    P.S. Never saw The Waltons.

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