I don't like to travel. I realize everyone else does, and that my not liking to travel is part of the list of things I hate that everyone else treasures: Christmas, brunch, live music, romantic evenings, granite countertops. If you want me to have sex with you--and I realize I'm 52 and no one wants … Continue reading June flies to Chicago, gets manicure, flies home.
My boss, fmr., did my annual review yesterday, which I guess kind of makes her my boss, current. Or sort of my boss. Or something. Anyway, they still like me at work and that is a relief. But speaking of my boss, fmr.-ish, she received her box o'StitchFix yesterday, and I was muy busy, and … Continue reading StitchFix time!
On Friday at work, they let us leave at 3:00, a delightful habit they've gotten into before any holiday weekends. I suppose it's for normal people with families who want to get on the road to the beach, or whatever normal people do. What do the normal folk do? ...I think craft. Seems like they … Continue reading On the third day, she “Rose” again
I have the best possible news. My smoothies came. I forgot to look in the bathroom mirror this morning and rub my (new) lips like the girl in the commercial, but I did grab a smoothie out of the freezer the way she did. I ordered a bunch of flavors, but here are the ingredients … Continue reading June’s word is pink gold
"Leaves no oily residue," my eye-makeup remover reads. I just read that this morning while I was washing off the oily residue from my eye-makeup remover. Just tell the truth. Jesus. "Removes your makeup pretty cheaply because it's the drug store brand." You know what I really like is that Clinique eye-makeup remover, but it's … Continue reading Weathered Vain
Some nights, Edsel is just too much. With the flumping dramatically off the bed whenever I move a corpuscle. Then floomping back on a minute later. With the pressing his head on my neck as hard as he can, for pets. At 4 a.m. So some nights I kick him out. Last night was one … Continue reading Oh, you know. Just cats, The Simpsons, and blender-licking.
Why does everyone bug you when you're busy? Have you ever noticed that? If you're bored stiff, your social world is a desert. But if you've got shit to do, people are crawling out from every damn crack in the wall. Waving their antennae. I had a busy week at work last week, but when … Continue reading Why Sussex
I just now got up and fed the regularly scheduled animals, and man, that was easy. PLOOP. Throw Edsel's food in a dish. I've moved his bowls and food tin back to the kitchen. I'd had them in this room, my computer room, at the back of the house, so his crunching wouldn't scare the … Continue reading The foreign-bean section
I just sat down to blog at you, and sometimes when I have no pressing news, I look at my recent photos to jar my memory of what's been going on. Not in a Marvin Gaye way. We have two new guys at work who hail from Vegas. I mean, they don't bring icy pellets … Continue reading Days I can’t complain about
Despite another busy day at work, I called the animal shelter Wednesday. "Yes," I said, because it's my signature move to begin all my business-y calls with "yes." "Yes, I'm fostering seven kittens and their mom, because am self-loathing nincompoop, and I have two people possibly interested in adopting one kitten each. How should they … Continue reading Shelter pics of my kittens. Aka Riveting June.
Google Photos likes to show me what I've been up to in other years. Three years ago today, mom came to visit me in my Year Abroad house. Tallulah was happy to see her gramma. Oh, Talu. Someone mentioned in the comments the other day that they wondered if my more curls/less Voltaire hair was … Continue reading Andy Voltaire
You know those annoying posts where I put on my makeup and talk to you, because I'm tryina do everything at once? Yeah. So, if you read yesterday's post about my humiliation, you know I have TV now. Turns out, TV SUCKS, man. I haven't watched TV in, what, two years? Is that how long … Continue reading The June Channel
Ned--and right there's my problem: Ned. Ned has been out of town a lot lately, with work and family things. "I thought of asking if Nancy could stay with you, but I realize you're at cat capacity," he said, and why he thinks 11 cats counts as "capacity" is beyond me. Vagabond Ned was going … Continue reading Special Sunday Humiliation Edition
Tell me if this is universal or it's just me. You're extra full of things to do for a few days, and you think okay. I can deal with this. I'm all right. In fact, for me, it's more fun when work is busy rather than: do this assignment. Wait a bit. Now do THIS … Continue reading Coming down with a case of LaCroix
Work is kicking my azz lately (I started at 7:00 a.m. yesterday), and you'll be stunned to hear cleaning up after seven kittens is a lot. I haven't had time to write, but I offer you kitten pictures to tide you over till I can speak normally again... And finally:
I just timed how long it takes for me to take care of all the current animals: 15 minutes. I didn't get any time to just sit with and pet all the kittens, so without, you know, being kind to kittens, just basic feeding and scooping and changing water, it's 15 minutes. I guess that's … Continue reading Toasted since 1964
Oooo, man, I did NOT feel well yesterday. They warn you of this when you do the damn keto diet, that you might get what they call the keto flu. It's when your body is switching over. For some reason your body gets annoyed. I had a bad headache, I was exhausted, and most important: … Continue reading Keto, day four. Am I thin yet?
The good news is I've already lost a pound and three ounces. I adore the naysayers who're all, "It's water weight!" I don't care whose weight it is as long as it's gone. How I prepared Before I shopped for keto groceries, I went on a quiz site that reported how many grams of fat, protein … Continue reading Day One of Keto, Completed
Because I don't have enough going on, today I'm starting the keto diet. You know it's a good sign when you don't get to the grocery store to BUY your keto food till 9 p.m. Which is what I did yesterday. Look, I have a lot of kittening and catting and dog-walking to do after … Continue reading Keto My Heart