The June Channel

Photo on 5-14-18 at 8.14 AM
Sans makeup. Blugh. Oh, but I DO have on sunscreen! Australian Gold tinted 50 SPF.

You know those annoying posts where I put on my makeup and talk to you, because I’m tryina do everything at once?

Yeah.

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Laura Mercier Secret Concealer for Undereye in 1.5. How can it be a secret if I’m telling you about it?

So, if you read yesterday’s post about my humiliation, you know I have TV now.

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L’Oreal Brow Stylist in Light Brown. I don’t actually like this stuff, but it’s what I’ve got. Does anyone like their eyebrow tint?

Turns out, TV SUCKS, man. I haven’t watched TV in, what, two years? Is that how long it’s been?

First of all, almost all the channels are just commercials disguised as channels. QVC, old-lady makeup network, a cheerful channel called Dealing With Cancer. What happened to, you know, shows?

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Chanel Perfection Lumiére Velvet in Beige

Then when you DO get a channel, like, I stopped on E!–E exclamation point–there are all these terrible POP-UPS at the bottom of the screen that distort the real show and distract you annoyingly.

Do TV people realize we can all just stream things now? That they should be getting BETTER, not worse? Why do we PAY for this bullshit?

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NYX Natural Shadow Palette. Don’t really like this, either, but it’s what I’ve got. I like the COLORS, but it doesn’t seem to actually go ON. It’s like, did I just DO anything, applying this?

One good thing I found was a network that showed me old Warner Bros. cartoons. I saw one where a poor homeless hound dog needed shelter, so he found a house in the woods that ended up belonging to a skunk, and the whole thing was the two of them duking it out and being friends in the end.

I guess maybe in retrospect, the skunk was squatting in the house same as the hound dog, because there was a vanity with perfume, and why would the skunk have a vanity?

IMG_8592.jpgAlso the next one was a dog who got abandoned in a field, and I WAS ALL NO YOU ARE NOT SHOWING ME THIS, who wanders over to Porky Pig’s farm and tries to get P. Pig to adopt him. The dog is all, “I’m 50% Pointer–there it is, there it is. I’m 50% setter (he sits down). 50% boxer (he starts boxing).” Oh my god, it was magnificent.

Also, Porky Pig is not humane. He was mean to that poor dog. I guess to be a pig who owns a farm you gotta be pretty cutthroat.

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NYX Retractable Eye Liner in Gray–they really make these labels on cosmetics for the young. And L’Oreal–although nowhere on this tube does it SAY that–Voluminous Butterfly Sculpt in Blackest Black, because eff natural. 

Finally, last night I watched Mildred Pierce on Turner Classic Movies. What happened to the old guy? There was always an old guy named I think Robert who introduced you to the film and told you the inside guff. Now they’ve got some preppy whippersnapper.

Photo on 5-14-18 at 8.49 AM
Clinique Chubby Stick in Roomiest Rose. I don’t really like it, but it’s what I’ve got. Are you sensing a theme, English major? Also, I like how sometimes Eds is at the door, and sometimes he’s dashed outside again.

So I’ll probably get ridda TV once the royal wedding is done, because this is bullshit.

Television industry, you have one week to get me hooked again.

Luff,
June

P.S. Obligatory kitten picture:

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%@&$ kittenz.

 

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

34 thoughts on “The June Channel”

  1. See if one of the City Mini eyeshadow palettes by Maybelline has colors that you like. I’ve been very pleased with the one I bought, especially for the price. It’s very smooth and pigmented.

    I use a cheap eyeliner pencil for my brows because that’s what I’ve always done before BROWS ~..~ were a thing. I’m just not ready to pick a whole new type of product.

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  2. I am so with you on the suck of TV. We had three channels growing up and always had something good on. Now we have 300 and there’s never anything to watch. And it costs 80 bazillion dollars for “basic”. I’ll give you basic – I’ll read a book instead.

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    1. We also had three channels growing up courtesy of rabbit ears and the commercials were only 60 seconds MAX and not every bleeping five minutes. Of the zillion channels we now get, there are only a handful that we actually watch. The rest are worthless.

      I miss Robert Osborne, but do like Ben Mankiewicz.

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    1. It doesn’t work for me because I can’t get my brain to stop thinking DEXTER.

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  3. I used a Clinique brow powder for years, but I hate having to go to the mall and Ulta doesn’t carry it. I just swapped to Anastasia Beverly Hills brow powder duo and I like it. Pencils make me nervous that I’ll wind up coloring my brows too much, so I like using powder and a little angled brush.
    I need a new lipstick. Matte ones are giving me chapped lips, but the others I buy that are very glossy don’t stay on. I need an in between option.
    I love the old cartoons! Most of the new ones just aren’t as good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m anonymously giving out brow powder recommendations for some reason today. Autocorrect tried to make that brown powder. Which made me think of eyebrowns.

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  4. Crap! I’ve got antenna t.v. (and more old Westerns that Zane Grey) so does that mean I can’t GET the WEDDING? Ima rush off and Google f***ing it. Eff work! But this coconut oil in m’coffee be delish. And slippery.

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  5. Have you tried the Lash Paradise mascara by L’Oreal? I have always been a L’Oreal mascara fan; but, I like it even better than their other mascaras. It doesn’t take nearly as many coats to produce long lashes.

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  6. Good news! ABC, NBC, and PBS are starting coverage (in Reno) at 1 a.m. So Hank and Meg will be all over my antenna! Yeah, that’s what she said.

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  7. If I were single and childless, I would have the most basic of basic cable. And maybe not even that, what with Netflix.

    I watched “A Place in the Sun” yesterday and thought I was on TMC, so when it was over, I wondered where the guy was (I didn’t know Robert died). Then I realized I was watching Retro instead. At least cable has that for me.

    And I like Roomiest Rose! (these makeup names, though. I could get a job naming makeup. That actually sounds fun)

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  8. You look beautiful. Thank you for the makeup tutorial, however I only apply makeup about once a week so it’s not a high priority for me any longer, that is the good part about being retired.

    Oh my goodness, nothing worth watching on TV is the very reason we have not had cable in many, many, many years. We have a leaf that I have suspended on a curtain rod in the window in our den and a leaf on the wall in the kitchen and they work great. If you are close to a television station you will get HD TV coverage for FREE. We get about 40 stations for free, and you can buy one of these Leaf antennas at a place like Walmart or Best Buys for about $50.

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  9. We do YouTube TV on the Roku, and have found a few shows we really like on there. It is a streaming type thing, but covers most of the major networks and cable stations. So you get abc shows, NBC, whatever. I always use mascara on my brows. Works for me.

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  10. I love the make up revolution brand eyeshadows that are sold at ulta. They are knock offs of the higher priced brands but very good quality and they actually have color! I bought a bunch of elf eyeshadow pallets and they look so pretty but nothing transfers to my eyelids.

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  11. I bought the Fab Brows duo eyebrow kit at an event 2 years ago and I am in love!! It’s two powders so you can mix the perfect color. You can use the brush on its own or one of the stencils. I use it every day , have done so for a year and five months now and still have about half of the powder left. You have a few minutes when you first apply it to make corrections but then it stays on so well ! Sweating, swimming, everything! I get so many compliments on my eyebrows!
    They sell them on Amazon for 30$ or so, worth every penny!

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  12. I can’t even handle how nice your curls look all the time. Is this all curly girl method? Because I’m over here straightening my hair daily like a sucker because mine won’t behave.

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  13. I love this for makeup recommendations. I want to try the make-up revolution shadows and the Fab Brows eyebrow kit.
    I agree, I miss Robert Osborne, but Ben Mankiewicz is good as well.

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  14. I do love that lip color.

    Hey June, maybe one day when you ask us for suggestions we could all recommend something to watch. I would appreciate finding some new things for the summer when everything is reruns.

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  15. You may want to keep the TV going because, hold on to your hat, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle is coming back!! All new, and apparently more geared to adults. Cannot wait.

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    1. Really! I always thought Rock and Bullwinkle was an adult cartoon. My husband and I are always making Rock and Bullwinkle references.

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  16. Are you using the brow gel from L’Oréal? I find it too wet and messy. I like Gimme Brow but it’s stupidly expensive. I only got it because Ulta gave me 10 bucks

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  17. https://nocable.org/availability-report/zip/27498-greensboro-nc Website suggests you should be able to get CBS (which is airing the wedding) with a simple indoor antenna. I use a Mohu leaf antenna–several varieties available from Amazon and pick up CBS, ABC, NBC and PBS–maybe more than you would get in Greensboro. But, hey after you pay for the antenna–a flat white square, you can pin to a wall, your network TV is free.
    Cheers.

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  18. I got rid of cable due to poverty, I have Hulu and Netflix. My sister gave me Amazon Prime for Christmas, I watch it more than anything. Do not miss cable at all. Now if they would stop charging so much for internet…

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  19. I’m a freak who uses no makeup (I KNOW), so no comments about that. Except that YOU’RE SO PRETTY, June. And your hair is enviable.

    I only do netflix and amazon prime video, streamed on my laptop, no actual TV channels or even a TV or anything since about 20 years ago. I don’t really think TV as such has any point anymore.

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  20. You are so pretty, June!
    I also stopped watching TV a couple of years ago. It is kind of sad. I have fond memories of waiting with anticipation for the next episode of [insert TV show here]. It was a set time, and we would all meet in the family room to watch. Now, everyone binges on their own device. It just isn’t the same.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  21. You are better off with antenna TV and Sling, Netflix and Hulu. This will save you about 50 gagillion dollars from cable.

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  22. Honestly we only have cable because our internet is cheaper WITH than WITHOUT. Strange but true. They bundle everything these days. I have a hard time getting interested in any shows because A. I don’t know how to operate the 11 remotes it takes to turn everything on and B. I never can remember what day shows I like are on. Why no more TV Guide? And if I remember the day I can’t remember if it was on HBO or Netflix or Amazon or regular TV. It’s just no fun anymore. And like you said – all the advertising for other shows on the screen WHEN I’M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW makes me batty. Sometimes it’s like a little stage play going on in the corner of the screen – so distracting!

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  23. I agree w above bought a 40 dollar antenna and we get all the major networks and lots I don’t need. Great for the olympics, PBS on Sunday night and the Olympics

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  24. We still have cable but after Elementary and The Americans go off, I’m going to campaign for getting rid of it. The only thing I would miss is Braves baseball and possibly SEC football. But I think you can pick up some of those specialty sports channels with Roku or Mohu. We do love our Roku and Amazon Prime is great! I agree, nothing on. Even all of the HGTV/DIY shows are starting to bore me and all run together. I do enjoy some of the cooking shows but could live without them as long as I have internet. I mean, Guy Fieri is annoying as heck and he is all over Food Network. Wish I could just wipe his stupid grin off that channel. Along with all of the ‘worst cooks’ shows and Anne Burrell who I also cannot stand. Oooh and get rid of Giada too. Man, why do I watch that network other than Chopped?

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