Days I can’t complain about

I just sat down to blog at you, and sometimes when I have no pressing news, I look at my recent photos to jar my memory of what’s been going on. Not in a Marvin Gaye way.

IMG_8642.jpgWe have two new guys at work who hail from Vegas. I mean, they don’t bring icy pellets with them wherever they go. You know what I mean. Anyway, we act like they’ve never lived on the planet before, so…introduce-y are we to The Way of North Carolina’s People.

“Have you guys ever tried honeysuckle?” we asked them the other day, on our 3 o’clock walk.

IMG_8644.jpgWe showed them how you pull the stamen out and eat the little drip of honey at the bottom.

IMG_8645.jpg“I guess that’s why they call it honeysuckle,” said one of the newborn Las Vegas guys, who probably hasn’t seen any of the world or anything in Las Vegas. We also gave them a riveting discourse on humidity.

Here’s the best part: It had never occurred to a single one of us that “honeysuckle” was the same as “you suckle the honey.”

Well, golll-eee.

When I got home from work that night, I did the thing where you remain in your car for a moment. I forget why. Something good on the radio (but not NPR, as NPR makes me want to kill own self), something I wanted to answer on my phone. I don’t know. The point is, why do I always forget that this is going to happen?

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FLUMP

He can’t wait EIGHT SECONDS for me to emerge from the car.

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I’LL BE RIGHT OUT, GOD.
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wat doooooeng mom

IMG_8688.jpgThen when I did finally go inside, I had all this. LOOKIT THE BABY.

There are also two OTHER new guys at work, and they sit in an office right across from me. That area was originally an “ideation” space, my favorite word, and it was also the space I made doctor’s appointments in, because hello open floor plan. It also served as a milk-pump room for women at work because hello open floor plan.

However, the two guys who moved in there are pretty great, and in fact I KNOW them from another ad agency I worked at.

The agency we came from didn’t just have coffee. It had three different coffee bars, with fresh beans, and from what I hear, there’s a full-time barista there now.

My work doesn’t provide coffee, just a Keurig pot and you bring your own pods, and they were surprised at that.

“I have my own Hello Kitty coffeemaker at my desk,” I said, “but I never bring real coffee.”

One of the guys whipped out a baggie.

“Let’s do this bitch.”

The best part was watching this 8-foot-tall bearded viking carrying my Hello Kitty coffeemaker from the kitchen to my desk.

IMG_8707.jpgSo we had real coffee at 4 p.m. yesterday, and I slept anyway last night because addict. I just drink coffee now to keep from feeling sick.

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When I got home last night, I had a package. About a week ago, my pal in real life, Marty Martin, put an article on Facebook about jewelry called Fordite, or Detroit Agate. For years, people painted cars by hand, at Michigan factories, and the cement underneath it had swirls of the various car paints baked into them. Someone got the idea to make that concrete into jewelry.

When I was growing up, everyone worked at the factory making cars. Everyone. Not my parents, although they both worked at the factories for like a week apiece at some point in their youth.

But my grandparents did. And everyone’s dad did that I went to school with.

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When I saw that Detroit agate was a thing, I had to have some. Got this on Etsy–just look it up there and there are plenty of choices. It was hard to photograph up close but all the colors have a little bit of sparkle to them. There are reds, blues, silvers, creams. Ooooo, I loves it. It’s the jewelry of my people.

Also last night, a woman came over to look at Runty and decided she might take the mom cat, Cora, instead. Cora is rather charming, and I’m not worried about people adopting the kittens, because they will.

I take them all in to the shelter tomorrow after my wedding, for their shots and a checkup. I think they will probably take the mom and all the orange boys, who all weigh nearly two pounds now, and give me back the girls for continued fattening–or at least Runty, who weighs only one kitty pound. And if I were gonna keep anyone

WHICH I AM NOT

I would keep Runty, and to give her back to me is a little squealy and I must not love Runty.

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yuuu alreddy love me, bitz

I went in to say goodnight to the kittens last night, and three of them were up in the closet. They love that closet in there. They better not ruin my ’60s romance magazines I hid in there when I was thinking of showing my house.

I better go. Tonight is a happy hour for a woman at work who’s leaving, but I really want to be sure to be in good shape for my wedding, so I don’t know if I’ll go. I tend to go to those things saying I’ll just stay for one and being the last person to Uber home at 2 a.m.

Actually, I’ve never done that, but does anyone recall the Whiskey Sour Extravaganza of 2018? ‘Twasn’t pretty.

Or how about the Ned Had to Get Me That One Night Extravaganza of 2016?

So.

I’ll talk to you all soon. My wedding day involves not just my royal wedding, but that trip to the vet, and also m’Botox and then a party and a baseball game. I know. I’m only going to the baseball game because they are giving away free Prince Harry bobbleheads. You know your ass’d go to that sporting event, too.

The point is, you might not hear from me that day, but fret not. We will discuss the wedding, my wedding, ad nauseum.

Royally
Juub

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

48 thoughts on “Days I can’t complain about”

  1. I heard now that Prince Charles is walking Meghan down the aisle. I can only imagine Camilla’s delight and glee over that development. I hope she doesn’t toss her oats.

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  2. Gi-i-i-rl (I’ve been in the South too long), that ultherapy was worth every penny and painful second.

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  3. I’m thinking about blowing off happy hour tonight so that I can get a good nights sleep before the wedding tomorrow! I want to be fresh for when I see The Ginger Prince get married!

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  4. I cannot take the cuteness of these kittens and swear, I am driving down there and picking up Runty. (Just between you and me, the shelter would never know.)

    I have a DVR so I’ll be recording your wedding as Saturday is one of the two days a week I get to sleep in and while I want to see everything, I don’t wanna get up at 5 a.m. EST

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  5. I already love Runty. I want to drive to North Carolina tomorrow to steal her from you. But I’ll be up at 4am for your wedding.

    As time goes on I find myself liking Charles more and more. I know he was a dick to Diana and I’ll NEVER forgive him for marrying Horseface but I think he’s mellowed. He’s proven to be a good father to those boys. I feel he has regrets.

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      1. Me, three!! Especially after watching The Crown and seeing his horrific childhood. And I doubt that Diana was any picnic to live with either.

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  6. How delighted am I that you have a Hello Kitty coffeemaker at your desk? Very delighted. And also, too… I covet that ring.

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  7. The cats in the closet and the silver stone
    Coworkers with honey and coffee of their own.
    Weddings to watch and royals to see
    June will be there and possibly me.
    When you postin’ again, June?
    Don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, bitz.
    You know we’ll have a good time then.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I’ve just been looking at old Princess Grace adding pictures, and Kate wedding pictures. I feel I am studying up for an exam, and am now fully prepared. See y’all on the other side!

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  9. May or may not watch the wedding live. But I just wanted to go on record as saying that I love the Queen. I’ve only felt this way the last few years. Now that she’s going on 100 years old. So, yeah. And also too, I’ve seen many pictures where she looks like the spitting image of my mother. Lovely ring June. It’s fascinating that all those car paint colors soaked into the cement, but I guess it shouldn’t be surprising.

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  10. I will be up at 6:00 to begin watching your wedding. I plan on making cream cheese and blueberry Danish, and drinking Constant Comment tea from the ‘specially commissioned for the Queen’s status of Longest Reigning said Queen mug, which my sister just brought back for me from Westminster Abbey gift shop when she returned from said gift shop after a trip over there this month. Proofread that one. I also plan to wear my Diana sapphire and diamonique ring to be extra fancy with my pjs.

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  11. “when I was thinking of showing my house.” – wait, did I miss the memo where you decided to stay put? If so, what went into your decision? I’m thinking of moving myself so I need to get external info to tell me what to do!!

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  12. Oh, those baby kitty babies!!! One cannot be sad when one is surrounded by the uber-cuteness of baby kitties. I think it’s a law or something.

    I love that Steely Dan has to greet you when you come home. And gets annoyed when you don’t immediately get out of the car. “Dammit woman, do I have to come in there? Move your ass!”

    Am I right in assuming that you have put the idea of selling your house on the shelf for now?

    There’s a big part of me that wants to just set my DVR to record the wedding shenanigans and just sleep to my normal hour of 6:00am but as a lover of weddings, especially Royal Weddings, I wouldn’t be able to live with or respect myself if I did that.

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  13. Lovely post, June. Lovely ring too, and a reminder of years gone by. I especially like the SD pics of him walking down the windshield and peering into the car. That cat is something else. Will be looking online sometime for your recap of the wedding. Hope for Meghan’s sake that it all goes down well.

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  14. Seeing your lovely Fordite ring makes me want more Fordite jewelry. You cant have too many, they are all different!I can’t wait to hear about your wedding.

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  15. I like your new viking friend – he looks fun. Also too, I love that ring may very well need to purchase one of my own because I only wear my wedding ring and a very sensible birthstone ring. I need to step up my ring game, as it were.

    Lovely Coot, June.

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  16. Lovely ring, it looks similar to Rebel Nell: https://www.rebelnell.com/
    They make jewelry from fallen Detroit graffiti, and empower disadvantaged women with jewelry-making skills. I have a couple pieces and want more, they are gorgeous!

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  17. Please tell me you follow and love @garyjanetti on Instagram! Anyone who is into the Royals, and especially George, needs him in their lives! Best thing on Instagram!

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  18. I also want runty. But I can’t either, because FULL UP. I would divorce myself I got another animal.

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  19. It tickles me to see all the pretties on your desk which could tempt one to think you are all la-la-la and then, there it sits lurking in the background…

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  20. I haven’t told you yet how much I love the picture at the top of this site. Favorite of all your headings or whatever they are called.

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  21. So I read that the wedding starts at 6:00 am central time. Does that mean the actual ceremony, or the pre-game hoopla? Am excited to watch! I still remember watching Princess Diana’s wedding from camp!

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  22. I will be the only one asleep during the festivities as it starts at 4:00 am my time, and nothing is worth getting up at that hour.

    You know that Meghan is going to try and get royally pregnant within 4 minutes of the ceremony.

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  23. I cannot tell you how much I love the coffee making Viking!!!
    The ring is gorgeous!
    Lovely post!
    I am going to an actual wedding tomorrow that’s held in a zoo! I love that idea so much! I went in their website and found out that you can also get married in the aquarium building and for an extra fee you can have mermaids swimming around while you get married!!
    I am so excited about that. Please ignore the fact that I’m super single and if things continue the way they are on these dating apps, I’ll never get married again. But a wedding with mermaids!!!!

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  24. It is so wonderful that SD flomps onto your car if you don’t get out fast enough. He loves his mom!

    Your kitties are so cute. I will miss those orange boys if they take them tomorrow. I may be the only one asleep for the wedding tomorrow, but if I wake up I will turn it on. I do remember watching Prince Charles and Lady Diana’s wedding when I was a kid. It was scandalous that he was marrying her–a mere peasant.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  25. I missed all the comments on Friday. I was at a class reunion that started at noon and lasted all afternoon.

    Those kittens…sign. I’m going to miss their little walnut heads. As a kid we always ate the honeysuckle when it was blooming. That is a southern thing. The ring is beautiful, nice gift, Faye. I hope you will give us a commentary on your wedding on Monday.

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