Why Sussex

Why does everyone bug you when you’re busy?

Have you ever noticed that? If you’re bored stiff, your social world is a desert. But if you’ve got shit to do, people are crawling out from every damn crack in the wall. Waving their antennae.

I had a busy week at work last week, but when I got back from lunch on Friday, there wasn’t anything to do. So I emailed a few people. “Do you have any work for me?”

At work, we publish blog posts, but they’re not fun blog posts like mine are. Aren’t you having the time of your life right now, for example? Aren’t I a carnival ride? Anyway, the person who’s in charge of all that said, “Well, I was tryina write a blog post for next week and it isn’t gelling. Do you want to try?”

Do I want to try? Hmph! I am the blog-post master! I’ve written 5,000 posts in 11 years! Gimme dat.

Except the thing is, they aren’t fun blog posts, did I mention that? Did I mention that every time I’ve written “post” today I’ve typed it “pist” and I’m getting pist?

So I had to think of a deep, work-related topic. Then I hadda do research to back it up. The next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire, and also I’m knee-deep in this blog post.

When I got to work Monday, I was still working on it. “Hey, you gonna have that today?” the Person in Charge of Blogs (PiCoB) wanted to know.

Am I gonna HAVE that TODAY? Good lord! Maybe I could have asked more questions before I undertook this endeavor, and I know that shocks you. I know you’re aware of how carefully I think things out before I plunge into them. Oh, sure, I’ll be the astronaut who flies to Pluto. What I gotta do? Is it just wear this dome hat? Cause okay.

Because of course Monday I actually got work to do. For clients. So I had to “prioritize” that, and you know what annoys me? Prioritizing when I’m into something else.

So not only was I tryina “prioritize,” like that’s a real thing, but also there was the part where there are people in the world.

“Hey, how was your weekend?” 394,330,930400,003 coworkers wanted to know.

HOOOO CARE how my weekend was? And do people not recognize body language? If someone is bent half an inch from their screen, not looking at you when you walk by HORRIFIC OPEN FLOOR PLAN WHERE PEOPLE WALK BY EVERY SECOND, why do you think that someone looks amenable to coming up and chatting?

And it was particularly bad yesterday, because royal wedding. Although I do have to say, the straight married guy who got into the wedding thanks to my enthusiasm was cute to see. Did I tell you about him? Through the months, me being into it made HIM into it. He read way more about the intricacies of the wedding than I did, as he has always been a thorough person, and would probably not volunteer to write a work blog post in one working day. He wanted to know why they’re the duke and duchess of Sussex, and how the hell should I know?

“I thought you know all about this wedding,” he said, and then I felt guilty that I don’t know the ins and outs of why Sussex.

But aside from The Straight Guy Who Now Likes Royal Weddings, I pretty much wanted to kill everyone else.

And my phone. Y’all.

I’m sorry. But do you have a full-time job, and also friends who do NOT work a full-time job? Because holy cats yesterday. Ten-foot-long texts. Follow-up texts wondering why I wasn’t texting.

800-minute-long voice mails. About nothing.

Four-hundred emails. Ned–NED!!!–emailed 26 times. That is not an exaggeration. Twenty-six times. And he called me at lunch. Except I wasn’t at lunch. Because working.

People tagging me on things. People messaging me things. I mean, it was endless. And I feel like if you don’t respond IMMEDIATELY, people get insulted. So I’d just like to say to everyone in my life:

I

HAVE

A

JOB.

I am there Monday through Friday. All day. That’s what I’m doing when you email me the song lyrics from Magnet and Steel and wonder why I don’t reply with the next line.

You’re a woman who’s lost to your song. OoooOOOooo…

That really is an excellent song. I hate to be your grandma, but why does Stevie Nicks always have her hair in her face?

“What art and charts are you including with your blog post?” PiCoB wanted to know.

WHAT?

CHARTS?!

You know what I ought to do? Is ask more questions before I plunge into things. Things like, When is this due? How much effort will it require? Will you be needing charts and images? If you’re 46, why have you never married?

Things like that.

Anyway, I got the damn blog post done, and I got my work for clients done, AND…AND!! I got some last-minute freelance work done that came yesterday and that they wanted back yesterday, for my old workplace in LA. I did that after work, because I felt so fresh.

Then I went home and no one called, texted or emailed me all night.

Now I told you so you oughta know. Oooooo,
Joan

46 thoughts on “Why Sussex

  1. I work from home. Everyone thinks I’m available 24/7 and can just flex my time all over the place. There’s still only 24 hours in a day and girlfriend needs sleep, but let’s not bother with those dirty details. Dang, I got grumpy thinking about it.

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    • As I was reading (speedily) Darla’s comment I read dirty dishes instead of dirty details and caught it quickly but also thought that would work as well
      IF only life were convenient. IF I were the only one in it, who needs all those other people anyway. Guess it wouldn’t be life then, just solo existence. Hoo care…give me that solo thing.

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  2. If I had a better memory I would remember what they said on MSNBC this morning about Sussex. It has something to do with Aparthied. Maybe you could google it. I will attempt it and get back with you if I find it.

    Kathy

    >

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  3. “Curmudgeon immunity!”

    I also hate getting interrupted while working on something. But my husband/children don’t seem to care–ugh. Right now, however, I am procrastinating. Totally different.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  4. Between us, I don’t understand why people are still texting you. At this point I would be afraid to text you to tell you your house was on fire. Or, maybe the texters are on your Approved Texting List. Maybe I’l IM you to find out what the story is.

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  5. I hate when I am that busy. It feels overwhelming, like the last half of the year. Those last 5 or 6 months just slide on by. And I get seriously overwhelmed with preparations.

    I’m so glad I didn’t text or message you in the midst.

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  6. whatever blah blah blah….when you gonna do a blog post about the curly-girl thing you said you might do? What I want to know is how your hair looks lovely on the second and third days. Please tell me kthxbye.

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      • I do the Curly Girl thing but I’m at a loss for 2nd and 3rd day hair care so I was looking forward to seeing how you do it but nooooooooo, some people have to be party poopers and ruin it for the 2 or 3 of us that want to know.

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      • I also do a modified Curly Girl thing – but getting the curls to look right on 2nd and 3rd days without having to re-wet the hair is impossible.

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      • I disagree! I’ve been trying to do it since last year (only works for me in summer, hair flat as a pancake in winter). Need a refresher course that doesn’t involve children on YouTube whose hair would look good no matter what they did. I used to be one of them. Now I need all the help I can get.

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  7. You *are* a carnival ride, “Joan” (is that a new alias?). I always keep a bottle of dramamine handy for these pists.

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  8. That’s a lot of phone calls. I’m worried about Ned now. Not that it’s my business, I’m not fishing, I have a fondness for him because while he does not make good lifetime partner material, he has a lot of redeeming qualities and seems to be a good guy.

    Now that I watch The Crown I totally picture in my head the staff that weeds through the available titles and pitches them to the queen with their reasoning for each.

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  9. And on the nights you want to just curl up in bed and watch a movie in peace and quiet, the phone starts ringing and beeping non-stop. Or when you’re sick and you know people are being nice by checking in on you, but you can’t sleep and get better with the phone going off every 5 minutes. Why can’t people read my mind from afar and know when to leave me the hell alone? God messed up there when we weren’t given the ability to know when people want to be bugged and when they don’t. Although I guess that’s what the button to turn my phone off is supposed to be used for…

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    • But then you know the SECOND you turn your phone off, someone will have some terrible emergency and need you. HATE.

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    • All Joon’s readers should, and then all the cool kids will realize they should too. Lightweight tiaras for daily wear, of course, with no more than 12 stones of 10 karats or more, and possibly a few emeralds or sapphires to mix it up.
      If they are adjusted to one’s pressure points, they’re good for migraines, too.

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    • What do you mean, “Start” wearing them to work? Some of us (okay, me) wears a tiara to work on a regular basis. Sure, I work from home but that’s not the point!

      It would be a hoot and a half if I were to show up on one of our construction job sites wearing my tiara. Okay, maybe not a hoot but a half for sure.

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  10. For the record, of all the millions of emails, texts and phone calls you received on your very, very busy day, none were from me. I knew you didn’t have time for me nonsense. You’re welcome.

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  11. I agree. Feast or famine. Recently my job has been so soul crushing I’ve cried every day for the past two weeks. I’ve been trying to find another job since last OCTOBER.

    Thanks for the post Joan.

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    • Did he make a wrong choice while ordering from the menu?

      Actually, I’m sorry he’s having a crisis and that you were interrupted yesterday 97298320938092894 times while crazy busy with deadlines looming.

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  12. There is a method to their madness. The only previous holder of the title of Duke of Sussex was an abolitionist. So it’s a nod to Meghan’s African-American side. I hadn’t realized that thought went into the bestowing of these titles. It’s sort of like confirmation names in Catholicism.

    I’m sorry Ned is having a crisis. Maybe it’s due to POOR LIFE DECISIONS.

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  13. Apparently the Queen just gets to decide. It’s a weird system they have going on over there.

    There has to be some law for what you’ve described – like Murphy’s Law, except for busy people. The same thing happens to me. Either no one wants me or everyone wants me. And honestly I prefer the times no one wants me.

    Lovely post lovely June. Ned needs to get a life!

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      • 26 emails definitely sounds like a crisis!

        And then there’s my husband who just texted me at work from home to ask me where something was in the refrigerator – his idea of a crisis.

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        • Lisa, NTL, I have decided that all men have visual problems when it comes to finding ANYTHING they are looking for, even though they have lived in the same house for years and their stuff has not been removed or moved, yet they can’t seem to find the item for which they are searching. I call that “where’s the mayonnaise syndrome” They go to the refrigerator and stand with the door open asking, “where’s the mayonnaise” and it has never moved from the bottom shelf of the left door! Drives me crazy.

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          • Whenever I see my husband rooting around for something, I always ask, “What are you looking for?” He tells me and I tell him where it is. I have an uncanny ability to “see” the location of whatever he’s looking for. Can’t find his keys? They’re on the workbench in the garage. Can’t find his glasses? They’re on the bathroom windowsill. The take-off for the job we bid last month? It’s rolled up in the blueprints. It’s my Superpower.

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  14. Instead of why Sussex, why not Suessex? Also, too, I think it was SusSEX because Harry is probably pretty good in the sack.

    TODAY IS KITTEN DAY!!!!

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