My boss, fmr., did my annual review yesterday, which I guess kind of makes her my boss, current. Or sort of my boss. Or something.
Anyway, they still like me at work and that is a relief.
But speaking of my boss, fmr.-ish, she received her box o’StitchFix yesterday, and I was muy busy, and yes I just said “muy busy.” I don’t like me, either.
Is there anyone who really likes him or herself? They put all this pressure on us to like ourselves, and then when you don’t, you feel bad about it so you like yourself even less. Let’s stop tryina like ourselves. I feel like that was some ’70s bullshit that never shoulda taken off, like women’s rights.
[I just said that so my mother would have to be revived with paddles.]
Anyway, I took time out of my muy busy afternoon to photograph her ensembles for you, as I know that you like voting on which StitchFix items she should keep and which she should return. This would be an optimal time to mention what a pain in my
making polls is, so I hope you appreciate all I do for you. There are plenty of middle-aged women in Africa who don’t get any blogger making polls for them, and they have to go without. Without polls.
When you get your box of StitchFix, your stylist sends you a little note, and this time they wrote to say they saw my blog! I AM FAMOUS! I like myself! Because of externals! The way god and good clothes intended.
Anyway, here is the first item:
“Can’t you just buy regular Keds and and paint polka-dots on ’em?” I wanted to know. My boss, fmr.-ish, pointed out that the dots are sewn on.
Next we have a cute stripy dress, which according to StitchFix is actually named the same name as m’boss, fmr.-ish. Let’s say the dress is named Claudia. IT’S A SIGN!
Next are some adorable jeans, and I guess I’m not really being a neutral reporter here, am I? I’m the FOX News blog. Or the MSNBC blog. If I want to be fair to all.
She paired the jeans with another top they sent, and what I like about boss, fmr. is that in real life she’s a pretty quiet person, and you get a camera in front of her and she’s Mary Pickford.
Two things I like about myself, because society demands I like myself, are my current references to Mary Pickford and also my ability to decide if my poll titles will be title case or sentence case.
Tune in for another episode of Things No One But a Copy Editor Cares About.
And finally, there’s a little blue top that frankly would look magnificent on me, but that’s irrelevant.
One thing I’ve never mentioned before is that if you order all the items, you get 25% off the order. Once I watched boss, fmr., do the math to see if she kept one thing she wasn’t crazy about, if it’d be worth it.
My brain doesn’t work that way.
Anyway, that sums it up. Vote before I blog again tomorrow and completely forget I asked your opinion on this matter.
Fixin’ to stitch,