ADD is--oooo, shiny!

Funeral glitter

Summer’s here, but I don’t think the time is ever right for dancin’ in the streets. Seems obnoxious. And possibly risky.

Dancing in the streets. Fekking hippies. Get out of the road. Get a job. Unless one gets a job in a parade, and then one’s job would literally be dancin’ in the streets.

…I realize that summer is not technically here yet, which was always something Ned had to point out.

Me: [sample kvetch] It’s spring. Why is it so cold?

Ned: [sample mansplain] ACTUALLY, spring is in 12 days.

Ned: It’s not autumn until the 21st.

Ned: No, it isn’t. It’s still technically not the vernal equinox.

And that is why Ned is in a shallow grave.

Also, he always had to correct me saying, “rug” when I apparently meant “carpet,” or maybe it’s vice versa. Whatever. Apparently one covers the whole floor and the other is for an area. You’d think as a copy editor I’d care about this, but the depth of my caring about this is as deep as Ned’s shallow grave.

But ALSO, Ned insists on calling the living room “the den.” I think this came from having grown up richer than me, and having one of those fancy living rooms no one ever goes in–and what is the point of those?–and then the room everyone gathers in to watch TV–which probably no one does anymore but that was the plaid-walled idea in 1967–is called “the den.”

You’d think as a copy editor I’d care about the structure of that alarming sentence, but the depth of my caring is about this is as deep as Ned’s shallow grave.

Anyway, it always bugged me when he lived in an apartment and referred to his living room as “the den,” particularly because he had a two-bedroom apt., and there was the bedroom he slept in, and then another bedroom that just had a couch and a desk and his computer, and THAT, to me, would be a den.

But he never called that room a den.

I harangued him about this for a long time, till one day I was around his brother, who referred to his mother’s living room as the den.

And right then I knew.

It was a family thing.

Marvin used to always leave the foil top on things. You know how when you open peanut butter or new aspirin or what have you, and it has the annoying foil lid on top of it for no reason other than the Tylenol scare of 1812? Marvin would peel it back, but not remove it entirely. Then for the rest of time, you had to wrestle that foil lid, like a teensy obstacle course. I think he thought it kept the aspirin fresher or something.

Once I was at his mother’s, and got something out of the cupboard, and sure enough.

The half-on foil lid.

It was a family thing.

Years after he left, I got some spice out of the cupboard, and you can imagine how much spices get used in this House of Lean Cuisine. But I got down Chaucer’s Choice Ye Olde Spice Blennde, purchased with bones because money hadn’t been invented yet, and there?

Was a half-on foil lid, left over from Marvin days.

I ripped it off. It was so satisfying.

But I was talking about summer being here.

June, I’ve been meaning to ask, are you still taking Ritalin?

No. It gave me migraines. What doesn’t? Hey, is that something glittery?

That reminds me. I have a stone I got from someone’s funeral. The person collected stones and rocks, and at his funeral they had a basket of them, and you could take one as a memento of this person. I have it at my desk at work–it’s sort of pink with gray lacing through it.

At my funeral, I want everyone to get a little bag of glitter, and you can all toss glitter at my casket as I pass by. Or keep it forever.

“What’s that?”

“Funeral glitter.”

Anyway, summer. Edsel and I heard our first cicada the other night, and what’s really cool is I think we heard its first-ever song or buzz or whatever it is, as it gave this sort of introductory throat-clearing and did this weird instruments-tuning-up hum, then

ZZZZ!!ZZZ!!ZZZZ!!zzzzzzzzzzz…. of the cicada.

We also have been seeing lightning bugs this week, and the magnolias are bloomed, plus also the mimosa trees, a tree I would dearly like in my own yard. I have never understood the joyless people who don’t like a flowering tree because it leaves a “mess.” Good gravy. Rip off the foil lid and enjoy yourself. Flowers are never a mess.

flat,800x800,070,f.u1.jpgIn case you don’t get mimosa trees in your region, here is what they look like. And apparently it is very important to James Brotherton, sisterton, that we know he took this shot, as he has BRANDED it into the corner.

Anyway, they also smell really good, mimosas do, and if I had scratch and my chair would get recovered, then I’d have Alf plant a mimosa in place of the poor tree that’s on its last limbs out in the front of my yard. I’d make him plant one that big.

Don’t you wish you could do that? Plant giant trees? And also get your hair cut long?

Waiting for things to happen is the worst.

Just ask my Chaucer spice.

Summer. Felt.
June

82 thoughts on “Funeral glitter

  1. Dancing in the Streets has always been a favorite. When summer came to my small NJ town, we had block parties, when whole blocks (hence the name) were closed off, and a live band would play. (Plenty of those around. If you could get together enough of them you had a Battle of the Bands. Tobacco Road and House of the Rising Sun were mandatory.) Mucho dancing in the streets. One of my best memories of being a teenager. PS: I’m old.

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  2. As a kid, I laughed at my grandmother for saying things like “icebox” and “pocketbook.” What I wouldn’t give to hear her again.

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  3. I do miss fireflies (we don’t have them here), but since we also don’t have roaches or fleas here, I figure it’s an acceptable trade-off.

    Did you bury Ned next to Francis?

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  4. I grew up in Minnesota and I am still here. My grandmother had a davenport, but we had couches. My aunt has sofas. We had a living room off the kitchen, and my parents added on a family room/dining room combo when I was in preschool. I used to have my mom pack my lunch in my little plastic lunch box and go out into the construction site to eat lunch with the contractors. They were patient with me. We had fireflies in our back yard, but now they are few and far between and I miss them. My parents (well, my mom now) also own a condo in California. It has a living room and a den…the den is much smaller. Both living rooms were NO KID areas. It was the room used only for Christmas and entertaining.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  5. I’ve lived in Cleveland my whole life. The house in which I grew up was built in 1962. We had a Davenport in our living room and a pullout couch in our family room, (which was added in the early ‘70s.) Our rec room was in the basement and had a pool table and the only fireplace in the house.
    My SO is from Indiana. We have a front room. Two, actually. One on the main level and the basement. Living room and family room. Very confusing.
    I used to say dinner, but now am ambidextrous because he says supper.
    He’s been in Cleveland for 30 years. The first eight I was with him I regularly heard WARSHING machine. The accent is gone now.

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    1. Growing up, my family always said WARSHING machine. And we hung the warsh out to dry on the clothesline. Now that I’m in the big city, I dropped the R.

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  6. I only know mimosa, the drink, but I do know that if I had a tree full of them, I could die happy. No fireflies, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and a living room. Dreary. That’s why I need a drinky tree.

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  7. My husband and I grew up 2000 miles apart and are 10 years in age difference. Both of our mothers had the exact same white velvet couch in the living room where you were not allowed to go, with white shag carpet and big metal and marble coffee tables and the big stereo cabinet with all the albums and color TV that you couldn’t watch because you couldn’t go in that room and we had a Den which was what people today call the family room. Our mothers both had the big Gold velvet chairs, and the brown itchy couch. There of course was a black and white TV in this room which we were allowed to watch.

    I think it is odd that we grew up in two different cultural and two different decades and our mothers taste were so similar.

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  8. My aunt and uncle have a home that is a two family but they use it all for themselves. The apartment side (it’s a ranch and was originally an attached garage) has their second living room space. My aunt calls it her pajama lounge, it is where she watches netflix on their one and only larger flatscreen TV in her pjs.

    We only had livingrooms like most people in the row homes in Philadelphia. Finished basements were called rec rooms. My father added a room at the back of their Summer house when they moved “down the shore” year round in 1977. It was called the family room.

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  9. I love lightning bugs so much. I grew up in the cornfields of Illinois and then moved to Florida when I was 20. Lightning bugs are one of the few things I miss about living there, along with the tomatoes and the sweet corn. Illinois has the best-tasting tomatoes and sweet corn in the wide world.

    Lovely post, June.

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  10. A family friend died of breast cancer two years ago. At her service, at her request, as she battled that awful disease for several years, her family passed out small packets of pink glitter. I wasn’t able to attend but my sister did. My sister said sometimes she’ll think of our friend and then within a day or so she will come across some loose pink glitter. As we used to comment, OooooWeeeeeOooooo! (AKA, spooky!)

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  11. OMG, Marvin and the foil. My husband never, never ever, never ever ever, screws the top back on anything. Makes me insane. I know it’s ridiculous and I know it’s a tiny thing and I know he’s not screwing some truck stop waitress under the porch, or spending our retirement fund on Legends of Nascar beer mugs, but damn if it doesn’t make me nuts to have to tighten every bottle and jar lid every day of my life.

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    1. Mine leaves cabinet doors and drawers just slightly open. It’s no big deal and I don’t notice it until he goes on a business trip and my pass through the bathroom or kitchen doesn’t include “closures”. I, too, am lucky that he’s loyal (or too tired for a girlfriend) and cautious with money so I’ll close the doors

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    2. Does your husband leave them loose enough so that when you grab them by the lid, the bottom falls off? That is what irritates me. GRRR.

      My 20 year old son apparently does not understand how to put the edges of zippy bags together so that they seal, so I am always finding crispy cheese and lunch meat. Makes me want to murder him.

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  12. We had a living room and a family room. When I moved to Chicago I heard “front room” for the first time. I also thought only rich folk had dens in their homes. I believe Uncle Bill on Family Affair had a den. Maybe even Mr. Douglas on My Three Sons: Did he have a den?

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  13. We had a living room upstairs and a family room downstairs. I remember watching the Brady Bunch and Mike had a den that he did work in. We have a bedroom that has a desk and a computer and our files and other junk which I call a computer room and he calls that the den. Every time he says it I either think of the Brady Bunch or a den of foxes. I also like to fully remove the foil but unlike SOME people in my house, I actually throw it away instead of leaving little bits all over the counter top.

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  14. If you do allow us to throw glitter at your funeral, make sure someone puts glue all over your coffin before they carry you out. That way, our glitter will stick and your coffin will be fabulous like the ones on that Facebook post!
    My house has a living room and a family room. Only because I have my piano and nice stuff in the living room and the kids don’t trash that room up like they do the family room and every OTHER room in the house!
    I think “den” or “TV room” were used more in the 70s. Oh ye rooms of incredibly dark paneling and gold and green rugs. Supper, you had every night, but dinner was the big meal after church on Sunday.

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  15. I have special pliers that I have to use to get the foil off my creamer.

    When I was little I was all about pink and LOVED Mimosas. Would still like to have one.

    Love the funeral glitter idea. Once in the office I worked in someone send invitations to everyone with glitter inside, you should have heard the bitching and moaning about that glitter getting everywhere. I was like, why? I love it!

    Supper, dinner, hoo care! Let’s just eat!

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  16. We had supper. And a living room and a family room that got added on when I was like 10. And couches. And lightning bugs. I caught my first June bug last week (always in May) so that to me is when is summer is here.

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  17. In my house we had a front room (living room) and we had lunch and then dinner. But at my aunt’s house their big meal of the day was at noon and was called dinner and the evening meal was supper.
    We always said couch or sofa. The first time I heard divan, davenport and Chesterfield I had no flipping clue what was meant.

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  18. I love mimosa trees. My local park has them and the scent is just heavenly.

    To me, a den is a smaller room in the house, perhaps a spare bedroom, that is dark and kind of masculine with either an older TV with rabbit ears sitting on a metal TV stand or one of those massively heavy console TVs. There are a couple of bookshelves with hardcover books nobody has ever read. There are pictures of ducks or hunting scenes on the walls. The sofa is old and saggy and there’s maybe an old Barcalounger for the Man of the House.

    When I was growing up, the Greenes actually built an addition to their house and that became the Family Room. That was a Big Deal because nobody in our neighborhood added on to or remodeled their houses. You kept your house the way it was when you bought it. Oh sure, you might paint or get new carpet but structural changes were rare. Our next door neighbor scandalized everyone when she added a room to the front of her house which she called “The Parlor” and nobody was allowed to step foot in it. Ever. It was just for looks. What’s the point?

    Our meals were breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I have no idea if I have any Family Quirks that make other people annoyed or scratch their heads. I must ponder this.

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  19. Always breakfast, dinner, supper at our house. We had a living room at the front of the house and a den in the back. Actually, the den was supposed to have been built for me and my friends in middle school. That way, my parents knew what was going on. It had a huge crab Orchard fireplace. First party, someone threw a large supply of firecrackers in the roaring fire. You can guess how many parties came after that!

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  20. Mimosa trees are beautiful, in someone else’s yard. It’s not the flowers that are the problem, it’s the one million tiny seedling they leave behind. That number is not an exaggeration. I was forever yanking those things out of everywhere.

    I noticed the fireflies about a week or so ago. I love them, they are magical.

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    1. That’s how we describe the Jacaranda trees here. Beautiful in someone else’s yard because they are so goddamn messy.

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      1. A bit of trivia that absolutely no one will care about: I am allergic to the jacaranda tree. I learned this after about 140 hilarious episodes of “June puts jacarandas on her fingers like she has long purple nails” followed by “Why so sniffy, Joon?”

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    1. The little sparkly drops of rain on a tree when the sun shines through them . I call them “cedar fairies” or whatever tree they are hanging on “fairies”. Comes from the movie PHOTOGRAPHING FAIRIES.
      When the photographing took place and the fairies were lights all over and around the trees.

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  21. “Lightning Bugs” or “Fireflies”? Discuss.

    I was born in Ohio (left when I was 9 so can’t really say I grew up there) but we called them fireflies. And ran around collecting them in glass jars. And then let them out. I still have a scar on my chin from when I fell against a stone planter on the side of the house while I was chasing them. Went dripping blood into the garage and my brother wouldn’t let me in the house because “Mom would be mad” if I bled on the floor. Three or four stitches. Still remember the drive to the ER and the little piece of gauze they put over my eyes so I wouldn’t see the needle coming at me.

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  22. Oh, the meal nomenclature divide! I had that in my family, growing up. For my father it was: Breakfast, Dinner, Supper; and for my Mother: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and/or Supper. So confusing – one of the times that I got in terrible trouble was when I was told be home in time for “dinner” and then I could not recall which parent said it… I got it so wrong! I showed up for the evening meal when I had been expected for the mid-day meal. After that, we took to calling it “the mid-day meal” and “evening meal” as well as drinking our beverages with our pinkies sticking out, just to make fun of the whole pretentiousness-sounding aspect of it. Anything to keep domestic harmony.

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  23. In California we have living rooms and family rooms. The family rooms usually contain the TV/stereo/games and casual furniture. The living room always has the “nice” furniture and is decorated with fancier items. And supper is unheard of. We always have dinner in the evening, and the noon-ish meal is lunch.

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    1. I am from CA, but my husband is from WA. I am constantly having to remind him the names of those two rooms in our house. Family room is where the family gathers. Living room is where no one ever goes unless we have company. I didn’t realize it could be a regional thing, and couldn’t understand why he has such a hard time remembering what they are called.

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  24. Funeral glitter. At the visitation for one of my neighbors, there was glitter in her open casket. Her best friend had put it there because the deceased had always loved glitter. Her friend wanted my neighbor to be buried with it.

    I like the idea of the rock collection being available at the funeral. What a nice remembrance.

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  25. We were so unsophisticated that we had a front room with a davenport.

    When we bought out first house we had two enormous willow trees. I treasured every messy day they were there. I thought they were poetic, like magnolias or mimosa trees but I lived in Michigan so I had to settle for a willow. An ice storm turned them to toothpicks one year.
    And furthermore, anyone who says, “Actually…” is asking for a shallow grave.

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    1. PJ – my grandma had a front room! Although she pronounced it “fronchroom” and for many years I thought that’s how you spelled it!

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      1. I just had a flashback! Growing up, we did call it the front room instead of the living room. Which is interesting, because we didn’t have a back room. We had a small front porch, a front room, a separate dining room and a back screened porch, but no “back room”. And we had a couch in the front room.

        Now I call it a living room and couch or sofa.

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    2. I forgot we also called it the front room! Oh the memories. Step end tables and the weird rectangle shaped table lamp, with plastic flowers in the bowl shaped base, sitting on top of the TV. I hated it’s tackiness at the time but now it’s probably considered ultra retro. Or not.

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        1. Also and too, I prefer LisaNTL’s grandma’s fronchroom. Makes it sound classier, in a European way.
          Insert laughing emoji.

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  26. I love reading everyone’s stories. Growing up, we called our living room a living room. That’s where we spent our time and watched t.v. It was never called a den. We didn’t have a separate living space. Neighbors with two separate spaces had a living room and a family room. The family room was normally as large or larger than the living room, had the t.v. and that’s where they spent most of their time. My family calls it lunch and supper. We had Sunday dinner for lunch on Sunday because it was the nicest meal of the week. We also called pecans “pee-cans”.

    Now that I live in the big city, we call it lunch and dinner. We watch t.v. in the den because it’s a smaller room than our living room which is still called a living room. And pecans are pronounced “pe-cahns”.

    The picture of the mimosa tree is fabulous. Whenever the mimosas began to bloom, we knew it was time for our family vacation as it was always in early June as soon as school was out for the summer.

    I’ve happily seen fireflies during the past week or two and I’m waiting to hear the cicadas. Then I’ll know it is truly summer.

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      1. This reminds me of a city tour of Savannah, GA, years ago. While describing features of the grand old homes the tour guide spoke of the bedrooms, making a sweeping gesture over her head as though she couldn’t recall the word. A tourist called out, “Canopy!” This prim-looking lady replied, “No, that was under the bed.” We all cracked up.

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  27. My husband collects old timey coin changers and metal whistles (like cops used in the olden days). Would it be strange to hand those out at his funeral because I have no idea what I will do with boxes of coin changers and whistles if/when the time comes. Maybe give one to everyone to toss on his grave when they walk away and leave it for an archeologist to figure out some day.

    Lovely post, June

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    1. My father-in-law was an insurance agent for 46 years with thousands of clients. He was well known for his giveaway table – cheap pens, combs, pocket knives, calendars, magnets, key rings – and his “TAKE JUST ONE!!!” signs. People used to tease him for it all the time – “one of each, or what?” At his funeral we set up a giveaway table with all the left overs with a sign that said “life is short – take as many as you want!” People loved it.

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    2. Now metal whistles is my idea of a cool collection! They don’t take up much room, they make noise, each whistle would sound different. I could take a collection like that and play with it for hours. I used to have a vintage harmonica collection maybe that’s why I like the idea of the whistles too.

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  28. I’ve never heard the living room referred to as a den. In these parts a den is either used as an office, TV room or where you stash aunt Bertha, on the sofa bed, when she comes to visit.
    I love how the Brits call it the lounge. And have a breakfast room.
    Our couch was called a chesterfield when I was growing up. We’d moved across country when I was a kid and no one on the west coast knew what the hell my parents were talking about half the time. It must have been an Ontario thing, with different names for everything,
    Those foil caps drive me nuts, especially when you can’t pull the damned things off and have to use a knife.
    I also collect rocks and love the idea of giving them out at a funeral. I love rock music and plan to rock on as long as my old body will allow, so it would be fitting, along with We Will Rock You and Stairway to Heaven. I plan to go out in style, man.
    Glitter would be the perfect send off for you.
    Back off glitter police, or I’ll fire off a rock or two.
    The mimosa tree is beautiful. Any flowering tree is, come springtime or close to it. Allergies be damned.

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  29. My grandmother had a mimosa tree. We used to play all kinds of games under that tree. Back when kids actually played outside. She also had a barn full of cats and I always tried to sneak a kitty or two in the house with me when it got dark. She also had an outhouse (no indoor bathroom at all) and if you had to go to the bathroom at night, you took one of those jumbo flashlights and one of my grandfather’s coon hounds with you. Those really were good times.

    We have a Chinese Snowbell tree close to our backdoor. It does make a mess, but hoo care. It’s pretty.

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  30. I had a chick tell me one time sometimes a whole banana is too much of a commitment. I wonder if that is the same way people who leave the plastic film cover pulled back only halfway on tubs of yogurt and sour cream feel. Commit, people, just COMMIT!! What’s the worst that could happen?

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      1. Sadie!!!!! My old arse did a five week flip on a house (was supposed to be 3 weeks) and when I was done with that, had to go back to my regular scheduled programming job and get caught up five weeks worth on that! Finally seeing some daylight. I’m not used to having to work this hard, yeesh. Missed you too!

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    1. I was missing you too! So glad to see your name again! And, I don’t even like bananas but I would peel the whole thing. Life is short for goodness sake!

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  31. Growing up we had a living room, dining room, a tiny kitchen, two bedrooms and one bathroom. We moved my senior year in high school to a house with a living room and a den, three bedrooms, a nice kitchen and a bath and one-half. Actually, that half bath had a shower so technically it was a whole bath. We thought we were rich. The house was all brick, which added to the richness we felt. I now have a living room that I would love to exchange for a dining room because we hardly use the living room because we use the den. My dad always wanted a mimosa tree. I just saw on and it is in full bloom.

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  32. My ex gave me shit about calling “supper” “dinner”. It was ingrained in my head from my family. I had no idea it was pretentious! Who knew I was so cultured 😉

    I’m from Maine and summer officially begins in June, but it doesn’t really get warm until after July 4.

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  33. again is the time that i dearly miss the south. all the blooming stuff. and the fireflies. miss miss miss.

    i would love it if someone sent me a glitter bomb. most people i know detest them. not me! glitter me up! maybe i need to add that to my burial instructions.

    for me summer is here when the temps go up. we zoomed right up into the 90s and above. it’s hellish some days.

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  34. I went to a funeral a few years ago where the preacher told us we should live our lives. He said “Take the plastic off your couches and get your china out of the cabinets!” Maybe he should have added “Rip off the foil”

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  35. “Funeral glitter.” Love this. I wish someone would sell it because I’d definitely throw it.

    My husband is one of those grumps who won’t let me have an oak tree in the yard because of all the leaves. Sigh. We do have some flowering trees in the back (the way back, where flowers won’t fall all over the yard), but nothing as pretty as that mimosa.

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  36. I think calling it a den might be a southern thing. My grandparent’s house was built
    by my grandfather and had two bedrooms, one bathroom, a pantry, a kitchen and dining combo room, and a “den”. Then they added on a “living room” and carport sometime before I was born. Before my parents where even married. So my grandmother’s house has a den and a living room. They were/are by no means wealthy. She also calls lunch dinner and supper supper, so sometimes there is some confusion when she asks if we want to have dinner with her. She calls windows “windors” and one time my little brother was doing some homework at her house, and he asked her how to spell window, and she said “W-I-N-D-O-R” and my dad said “Mother, really?” And she said “E-R?” Anyway now I’m rambling and now I really need to go visit my grandmother.

    Happy summer!

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  37. We had a Mimosa tree in our tiny, postage stamp row house yard in Philadelphia. It was the second house with the cemetery at the end of the block. My parent’s fruitfullness made us outgrow the first one. I adored that tree, I would hang upsidedown from my knees from a strong limb. The flowers smelled heavenly. The old battleaxe neighbor who lived across the alley hated the mess that tree made, and despised that tree. I think that made me love it all the more. She would be out there, her heft pinched in her girdle in her teased up beehive, wielding her broom and her hose. If a kid who was not from out block tried to come through she would turn the hose on him. You should have seen her house on mischief night. They had a lot of eggs to clean up. Years later I was back on my old block. My friend’s aunt was a former bar and resturaunt owner and she allowed us to host her shower in her large home, did the food for us too. I crept through the alley, after I parked down by the cemetery. Seeing my car would have spoiled the surprise. Anyway. my belived tree was gone! It broke my heart. I hope it died and wasn’t ripped out for being a dirty tree.

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  38. We had a living room and a “rec room”. Both were used to death.
    Hate those little foil things, especially when they just won’t come off. grrrr. Also always remove the ads/postcards/whatever from magazines as soon as I pick it up. For some reason my friends think that’s weird. oh well.

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  39. I have a cousin who’s a meteorologist (I KNOW! Like a celebrity!) and he posted the other day (now celebs have to post constantly) that meteorological summer starts on June 1. So go dig Ned up a bit and share that bit of news with him.

    We grew up calling the couch the “davenport”. Then we moved to the big city (population 10,000) and I was embarrassed to learn that refined people call it the “sofa”. Also you eat dinner, not supper. I always felt like such a hick around my more sophisticated friends. If we had had a den, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven. In our house having a wet bar in the basement was really living.

    Lovely post lovely June!

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    1. Oh and more than one bathroom meant you were rich rich rich. My best friend in high school had a bedroom WITH HER OWN BATHROOM! And the cat clock where the tail twitches back and forth to keep time. God I wanted her life. Plus she was Jewish, had braces, AND her house looked like it was straight out of the Brady Bunch. She had it all.

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      1. As a Jew, I must say that I’ve never heard anyone express jealousy of being Jewish. Surprised me. Not offended or anything like that, just surprised. [smile emoji here that June isn’t allowed to know about]

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        1. It was so EXOTIC! I grew up in a town where EVERYONE was Lutheran or Catholic. Until we moved, I had no idea there was even any other choice. I loved the whole idea of being different. She went to a DERMATOLOGIST for goodness sake! I was sure that was all part of it. I was anything but worldly!

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    2. My mother is from Tyneside, & my father was from Derbyshire, both in the UK. I’m a soft southerner from Somerset, which adds a little yokel to that mix. We have always called dinner, tea. Not in a pinky out & your best china way either. This can confuse people when asked if they want to stay for their tea. It’s our language dammit, and we’ll fuck with it if we want to. Amiright?

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