Aging ungracefully · Ask June · Faithful Readers

It’s Britney, bitch

I’ve sat here for two days making little changes to this now-defunct site. “Should I start this up again?” I ask myself. Then I think about all the ways people could be unkind and I walk into the next room, all sweaty.

To be fair, I’m menopausin’, so I walk into every room all sweaty these days. Mother of GOD.

While I menopause and reflect, I also think about nice people. The nice people outweighed the not-nice ones up in here. Not literally. I mean, I don’t know how much you weigh. Maybe that would be a nice place to start. Let’s all get reacquainted by writing in and saying what we weigh!

Yeah.

So if I do come back, what do you want to know? Because I could sit here and recap the whole dang four and a half months and bore you to tears if you wanted. Also, the good news is, maybe five people will even see this site is up so there won’t be that many questions, and maybe I can write one nice, concise, here’s-what’s-you-wanted-to-know post and we can move forward from there.

Meanwhile, what’s new with you, five people? Tell all. Including your weight.

Love,
Jooob.

I seriously didn’t mean to write “Jooob,” with a b, but it was nice to get that typo back, just like old times.

img_9457
yuu way HOW mutch? eyeriss can’t see it. think yuu look grate.

318 thoughts on “It’s Britney, bitch

  1. Yay. Just Yay. I feel like the sun just reappeared after a long dark winter. Write what you want. When you want. Do what makes you happy. I will be happy too. Weight…let’s just say that if I lost 50 pounds I would still be obese. I want to do something about it, but incredibly crappy knees and lack of won’t power are my current enemies. Welcome back.

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    1. For the record, I have met Linda in Co in person…in Denver actually maybe four years ago, and she is farrrrrr from obese and is the nicest, most adorable person you could ever meet up with for coffee even though we had never met and had only known each other through Jooooooob’s blog. Neither us nor Dancer (who had met up with us too) turned out to be cray cray slashers and a fun time was had by all.

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  2. Holy crap look who it is. I weigh . . . more than I did. Lost some of the suicidal depression, along with my creativity and ability to write, gained something of a will to live and about fifteen pounds. I’m a fluffier shell of my former self.
    I never did figure out the Insta business so I would love a house tour. In photos, on the blog. Or in person, I’ll bring wine. I swear I’m still not a crazy stalker person, I’m medicated now and everything. GEEZ I missed you.

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  3. OMG OMG OMG!!!! It’s JUNE!!!!! I am so dang happy that you have posted again! BTW, you have been on my mind so much the last two days, I couldn’t figure out why and I was so sad thinking I would never read your blog again (I almost went back to re-read Bye Bye Buy)……but here you are, YAY! I guess my spiritual adviser will be happy, he’s been pushing me to develop my intuition, maybe that’s why you’ve been on my mind so much lately.

    I will NOT tell you what I weigh, I’m disgusted with myself. I was down 15 pounds when you stopped posting, but then my husband was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and I’ve medicated myself (eating and drinking) back up 10 pounds. I’m blaming Sue.

    Write about any old thing you want, it’s all good!

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    1. My avatar is green and fresh like a spring day….Oh June, I forgot to tell you that Progest cream saved many lives and my sanity during menopause. You can buy it at Whole Foods,

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  4. I’ve tried to comment twice and it didn’t take. So, I’ll simply say welcome back and looking forward up more glimpses into your lovely new home and life, besides Instagram.

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  5. Yay! So happy to see you back. I weigh 57 kg, I don’t know what that is in pounds cos I’m dumb at maths and too lazy to look it up.

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  6. Welcome back, June! And thank you to Tee who notified me of your new post. I was so surprised by the news that the name of your not blog went completely out of my head and I had to go to your old Bye Bye, Pie blog to find the link to your new not blog. Glad it was still there.

    As far as weight is concerned, I happily lost the stubborn five pounds and have kept them off, but now holidays and winter are around the corner with all the heavier eating, so who knows.

    I’ve been visiting your Instagram daily or multiple times a day and each time I visit, I have to do a search for your Instagram name and half the time, I begin the search with June. Apparently, old habits die hard.

    Glad to see you and your faithful readers here again. I never really knew who was commenting on Instagram unless they used the same name as here.

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  7. 247 comments are quite a loftier accomplishment from you guess of five. It boils down to one simple thing. We have missed June. Hopefully you’re back.

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  8. 245 comments! I need to leave for a doctor appointment so I’ll have a lot of reading to catch up on when I get home. I’ve missed you, June. I’ve really, really missed you. Seeing you on IG just isn’t the same. I’m glad you’re back. I’d like to know what you’ve been up to. Ok, I have to leave now. I’ll be back later!

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    1. So weird, when I go to type a comment it shows my name as Kim, who used to live in CA… BUT it’s showing my comment as Howardthebeagle. What did I do wrong?

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  9. This is better than Christmas! I don’t care what you write about- I’ve yet to be bored with any of your posts. You’re better than an anti-depressant and cheaper than therapy.

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  10. Ok…I’ve never commented before, because SOCIAL ANXIETY, but in honor of your return, I will be a rule breaker, just this once. Welcome Back! You have been missed (and you didn’t even know)! SO glad you are back.

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  11. 108. I like the number but the distribution could use some help. Menopause is awful during, but pretty fine after. Damp washcloths stored in the freezer are useful. Glad you are back.

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  12. It’s a big day!! I’m so glad! I found you on instagram, but when I searched for the Pie on the Face on Facebook all I got were pie-in-the-face contests. Neat. 🙄
    It was a summer of changes for me, too. I got a new (big) position at work and sent my tiny newborn infant to college. She may look 18, but I assure you she’s was just born. Sigh. So now it’s just Mr. Texas and me shuffling around the house.
    I’m so excited to read whatever’s on your mind. AND I’m happy to see so many comments. I’ve missed this terribly and thought of y’all often.

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  13. SO HAPPY that we’ll get to read the blog again!! thank you so much for not letting fear win! Although I know that’s easy to say from the bleachers. I’d love to read anything you want to talk about, and would never find it boring in the slightest. Would love all the details leading up to the move, and how you’re settling into the new place.

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  14. June!!! I’m so glad you’re back! If you liked hugs, I would be giving you the best hug ever. But I won’t torment you. Instead, just know I missed you – missed your writing, your humor, your photographs. I missed this friend I’ve never met. You talk about whatever you want to share. As for me, I like every detail but will be happy with anything you choose to share with us. And for the weight, I count as two nice people on your side. It’s like one for each side to be your posse.

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  15. New phone. Who dis?

    And does this mean we can’t give you a hard time? Because that will most likely cut down on my commenting. Not that you would mind that, but still.

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  16. She’s baaaaaack!!!! Fuck the haters. Fuck my weight too.
    I vote for a detailed recap of everything.

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  17. Joining the chorus to say how happy I am that you’re back! Instagram is fine, but I have missed your sense of humor and your wonderful writing. Welcome back, please don’t go away again! (Begone, haters! Or at least STFU!)

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  18. FUCKING A. happy you’re (hopefully) back. I would like to weigh 145-150 lb. I do not. Well, I do, but then I have extra. fuck.

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  19. Oh, happy day! It’s Christmas in October. I weigh somewhere between the weight on my driver’s license of 115 and 160. That’s all you’re getting. Please tell us the minutiae of your life during the past lonely months!

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  20. Welcome back, June!!! Also, when I went through the menopause I wore one of those little tiny fans on a cord around my neck. It helped a little, at least with drying the sweat after a massive hot flash.

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  21. 228.

    Hey! Do what you want! Blog once a month, or once a day, or never. If you write it, I’ll read it. I’ve also gotten a kick out of your Insta (As the kids say)

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  22. So glad you’re back!! I’m excited to read about anything you want to write about. I’m going through such a tough time right now, and seeing a post from you is seriously the highlight of my day. 🙂 Thank you!!

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  23. I am so excited that you’re back! I’ve been checking every day just hoping you’d be here. Mean people suck, which is why I prefer dogs. Please ignore the haters (I know that’s much easier said than done), and write about everything. I never find you boring & your blog truly brightens my day.

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  24. Just love to see that you are back. Love to see the animals (Edz how I have missed your mug!). You could write about anything and you would have a following. So write what you will when you feel like you have something to say. Just know that love trumps hate and we who love you stand by you no matter what. Even those of us who lurk and are not quite as clever.
    As Clever As It Gets Erin

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  25. I do hope you are back. We love you and will gladly read whatever you chose to tell us (of course we want to know everything).

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  26. Ahh, June! At last all my checking your not blog paid off! Have enjoyed finding your Instagram but there’s no substitute for daily updates. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back!

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  27. OF COURSE you pick a day when I am swamped beyond my fat dimpled ass at work. That said, WELCOME BACK!!

    I will admit to having started a diet on Monday and at 3:00 PM, I had 12 calories left for the day. TWELVE.

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  28. omg! this is better than winning that damned lottery…………. well almost.
    And to think I almost didn’t look at the Face this morning because I’ve got family on both ends of the political spectrum and it’s making me cranky. I would have missed your reunion tour and been so so sad. 185 is what my driver’s license says and I’m sticking to it. Welcome back from the nice people and eff the mean people.

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  29. This is the best news all week, maybe all year. Look at all these crazy people who love you. I still have baby weight and have added some menopounds to it. It is the curse of my people to be small and round. I always told my mother she could have chosen to marry tall, but no.
    Tell us EVERYTHING,

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  30. I can’t believe this is true. It is soooooooo good to hear from you again. I swear I was never going to get used to you being gone. Instagram was just a tease. I’d love to have a tour of your new house and then everything else you’ve been up to since you’ve been away. You were so missed by all of us.

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  31. I weigh way more than I want to, but I’ve lost 20 pounds in the past few months and I’m working on losing more. So glad to see you back!! Follow you on Instagram and looking forward to your lovely updates here. You have been missed by many!

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      1. Beverly, you’ve been an oasis in the desert. Thanks for your blogging! I am still green with envy that you were at NPR!

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  32. So, so happy to see you back! I would periodically check-that’s what I was doing today, and lo and behold, there you are!! Sounds like lots of good things have been happening for you; would love to hear all about them!
    I currently weigh 237 and do not give two shits about it. I know I should, but seriously, since my husband died I could not care less. Maybe someday that will change, but not today!
    Anyway, so glad you’re back!!

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  33. I never comment, but look at me COMMENTING, because at my weight I will definitely TIP THE SCALE to the nice side. As far as a catch-up sesh, I’d like to know all about the new house, and a status update on all animals. XO welcome back.

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  34. I got off Instagram a while ago so haven’t been following you there and don’t know if you mentioned anything, but…Steely?

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  35. You’re baaaaack!

    I missed you and your words.

    I weigh 223 pounds, I’m not ashamed! Haha

    I just want to know if you’ve been happy.

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  36. Woohoo! So glad you’re back. If you checked your blog stats, you would find someone over the last few months periodically checking to see if you had posted again — that was me. I’m not on Instagram so I need to know everything. 🙂

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  37. Welcome back, June. What a glorious day for all us June fans. I weigh 145. I’ve gained 10 lbs in the past three months. It’s time for me to rein it in.

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  38. Wooooo!!!! I like how you thought only 5 people would see this post and an hour later all 43,000 of us have commented. Personally, I just want to hear about the new digs and a virtual tour would be nice. And whatever else you feel the need to discuss.

    I weigh 193.6 and I’m thrilled as shit about that because I spent the last 2 years weighing 215 pounds. At 5’3″, I’m as wide as I am tall, but I’m working on it.

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  39. Let’s see…
    I want to know how your photos are so amazing these days. Is it truly just a difference in how the light comes in your new house, or are you doing something different with a filter?
    Speaking of the House—(I don’t know why my phone keeps capitalizing that, but it’s done it 4 times so I’m leaving it.) Is it everything you expected and more? Does Edsel love the yard as much as it seems? What are your new neighbors like?
    How’s work? Is Austin doing ok? Has your fmr boss gotten anymore Stitch Fix boxes? If so, how on earth did she choose what to keep without us voting?
    SPEAKING of stitch fix, I have a friend who works for them—it’s all remote apparently—and ever since I heard that I’ve wanted to tell you that you should work for them on the side if you ever decide you want more freelance work but not copy editing. Because I would love for you to be my stylist. (I don’t think they have clothes big enough for me—but I just mean in general. You’d be a good stylist.) And it would be like shopping with other people’s money!
    Those are the things I can think of right now, although I haven’t stopped wondering every day what’s going on with you. So it’s good to hear from you, no matter what you decide to talk about.
    And I need to change my “blog name.” Had a little social media drama while you were out, and also I was always jealous of people who had cute names on their comments. What should my name be? I’ll put my comment name, fmr. in the email space in case.

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  40. So happy to see Joob! All is well and weighing in at a number which ensures I’ll last through winter.

    Please stay!

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  41. Weight, the number we love to hate. 134 this morning. I weigh myself naked, after peeing, and I don’t drink anything.
    You have been missed, and in this life, that is a great thing! You matter to so many of us, even if we don’t know you in person.
    I want to hear about the house thing, and see pictures. I’m cleaning out my house right now, with a closing in 2 weeks. Stress galore!

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  42. So glad you wrote. Oh the hot flashes! The devils wind. I have been on HRT for longer than I had my own hormones and I thank all things holy that I have the help of modern medicine to get me through these dark dark days. Also and too just wanted to chime in on the weight thing. I went to the doctor and have gained NINEFREAKING pounds since my last appointment even though I work out 5 days a week for an hour and a half doing cardio and weights and more cardio AND I am on a 1200 calorie low fat, low carb, low sugar… AIR I eat air, diet. THe doctor is flummaxed and wants to put me in a jar and do test on me and my Violet Beauregarde self. If I start turning purple I guess we will have the answer.

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  43. Oh!!!! I’ve missed you! And no, I’m not sharing my weight. I don’t even wanna know it myself. As for your non-blog topics, I would like you to fill us/me in on the last eleveteen months. I do not twit nor am I an insta-Grandma so I know nothing. Big ol’ non-hug from me.

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  44. Joy! Rapture! If I hadn’t broken my pelvis a few weeks ago, I’d do a happy dance! 186 because I’m tall AND bedridden. Tell us all or nothing — it’ll all be wonderful.

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      1. Yep, in three places. Tipped over on my bike. I was going maybe a quarter of a mile an hour. Such a stoopid story. Gravity is a BITCH.

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        1. I did the exact same thing and also broke in 3 places. It takes special people to do this. Welcome to the sisterhood of no 2 wheelers allowed.

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  45. BEST DAY EVERRRRR!

    I weigh six children’s worth, if that gives you any idea.

    Tell us whatever pops into your head to tell us. Or just upload pictures from your phone and let the story roll where it may. It’ll be like old times! Which I have missed!

    Happy you’re not-blogging again! (But I’m not doing a “happy dance” because that’s cheesy!)

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        1. Oh yes, AA! High point of time w/ college boyfriend was when he invented contemplative disco. But I digress. Reading first two paragraphs above was like coming home. Coming home while being 120 according to two scales and 115 according to the third, which is clearly more observant.

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  46. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the header in my email! I’ve been following on Instagram, but have missed reading your blog. Plus, I’m still waiting on the Curly Girl demo. I’m 160, and struggling to lose at least 10 pounds.

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  47. Joooooooooooonnnnn!!!!! I’m so happy you’re back!!! I weigh 135 pounds. That is what my drivers license says AND YOU DON’T ARGUE WITH GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS M’KAY???? Seriously, talk about anything. or nothing. or everything. This is like Christmas for your faithful readership. Also, when someone is a meanie online, just imagine them as a pimply-faced 14 year old who had a REALLY bad day at middle school! It works. Air hugs and can’t wait for tomorrow!!!!!!!!

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    1. I’m big and fluffy too and just starting with the hotness/hormone thing and I have 2 teenagers in the house. Don’t mess with this momma boys! I may yell or cry, roll the dice!

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  48. I’m so happy you’re back! Write about anything, since you can make ordinary events sound interesting and even funny. My current goal is to have the first number of my weight be a 1 instead of a 2, and I’m almost there. One place I looked said I should weigh between 114.6 and 154.5 lbs. I’m shooting for the upper end, of course

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  49. Menopause is the Devil. The sweats, the irritability, the weight, and the tears! Good grief, I cry over everything. No questions from me. I’m just over here crying happy tears that you’re back.
    Oh, and weight? No idea. I know my clothes don’t fit as loosely as they did last fall. Menopause. It’s awful.

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  50. I’m sooo glad you’re back here. For some reason they ask your weight at the eye doctor’s office. I always say 125. I’m sticking with that.

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  51. Oh happy day! Missed you more than Christmas. 150 on the nose (may be more on other body parts). Write whatever the he’ll you want, you rule here.

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  52. 124. Is your house closer or further from work? Closer or further from the usual haunts? Do you feel like this is your forever house? Do you love it because based on insta it looks like you do. And, of course, any romantic news is also of interest. I totally understand and support your wanting to take a break. I like your perspective though, that there are more kind people here than not. Probably way more. Could someone else read your comments and pass along to you only the ones from the reasonable and supportive humans? It was nice to see your words this morn.

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    1. My new house is .6 miles closer. My old commute was 6 minutes, and my new one is 5. It’s brutal, but you gotta make the dollahs.

      124! Dang, girl! You sexay.

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  53. Yay! You’re back! I missed you and I missed everyone else. I lurk, I don’t comment but I read everyone’s comments and I’m so happy you’re all back!

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  54. Moved across the country, euthanized a dog, finally was forced to give up on a cat, started a new job, gained a ton of weight. It’s been a dramatic joob-pause.

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    1. HAHA………..I too look in the mirror and think “Not bad, still pretty cute” My younger, much thinner, in shape sister thinks she looks like an old witch with flabby arms, so there’s
      that!

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      1. See? Like I said, stay soft and a bit round so they don’t call you frail, or old witch with flabby arms. Either way. I’m stickin’ with that.

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  55. Thank goodness. Lunch sucked without you. 142 because I’m menopausin’ too, and 5 pounds appeared out of nowhere. Dammit.

    I want to know:
    ALL about the new house
    Ned
    Have you fostered anymore kittens?
    Have you gotten any new pets?

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  56. Yay! This is what I like to read before I go back to sleep. I’m an early riser, but not an early stayer upper. I would love to see all of the new house and yard and neighborhood, but I ain’t sharing my weight.

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  57. I’m not even moderately embarrassed about how excited I felt when I opened Feedly and saw a new post indicator next to Book of June. Welcome back. I’ve missed all your nonsense.

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  58. You’re back! I love following you on Instagram, but I always find myself longing for details. Tell us about the new house. Damnit, just tell us every little thing that’s been going on, including the menopausing. I am menopausing too. It stays hot in herrr, I just took off all my clothes.

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    1. Oh my god, it’s like having a fever. I rip off all my clothes, I pull them back on, I rip them off again, then I’m freezing and also my arms are crepey.

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        1. Me too! People at work ask me where my coat is, every morning. And I’m all “Are you fucking KIDDING me? I’ve been sweating for six months, I’m not putting a coat on until it’s snowing!”

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  59. Edsel! my brain screamed. Oh my god, oh my god! It’s June! My heart started to pound and with every old friend’s comment it pounded harder. Then when you signed Jooob my brain started singing, “Hello, Jo-ob, my old friend, you’ve come to talk to us again.”
    Now that I’ve passed the pause and am into menonever I like to keep a little softness because who wants to be called frail?
    Tell us anything that is important to your funny bone, your heart, your esthetics, your spirit, whatever.
    When I set up my WordPress account for Beverly’s blog, WordPress made me change my name. PJ wasn’t long enough. I tried half a dozen which they rejected to I just typed in 1madgirl and that was the magic word. PJ is now 1madgirl.

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  60. I missed you June! Nice to see you again. I would like to know all about the house hunting, as I did the same this summer. Oh, competition.
    127 lbs

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  61. Joooooob! So very happy to see you’re alive and kicking, and potentially coming back. Mornings are just not the same without you.

    I’m all about the animals, so I vote for an update on how Edz and the girls are. Oh, and any fosters! I assume no sighting of SD? And then maybe a touch on the highlights of the past few months.

    Welcome back! You were sorely missed!

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  62. I am so excited you’re back! We have all missed you. Screw mean people! 155 over here. Anyone know how I can lose 20 pounds? I’ve given serious thought as to how much I would pay for a pill that would make me drop 10 pounds overnight. I think my number is (assuming weight would stay off) $500. I mean hopefully it would be cheaper but I’d be willing to go that high.

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  63. You have made my millennium! Please write about everything, boring or not. We won’t find it boring. Sorry, can’t say my weight because it is ridiculous and preys on my mind every minute. So glad you’re back!

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  64. I am so happy that you are back!!! Weight 244 and that is down from a much higher number from the summer. I am the incredible shrinking gal. Tell us about your new house and how the pets are adapting. Love your daily commentary on life.

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  65. Yippeeeee!!!! So happy you are back! I love following you on Instagram but reading about everything in detail on the blog is so much better. I would love to see pictures of your whole house and hear about any neighbors you’ve met.

    And since you asked – I have lost about 5 pounds over the last couple of weeks. My husband has lost over THIRTY pounds since the beginning of spring and looks like he did when we met 23 years ago. I decided I needed to not look like his mother so I’ve been exercising and avoiding carbs.

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  66. Thank GOD you’re back. Your blog was the first thing I’d read when I got to work in the morning. Yes, I could text or call you to see what’s going on. Whatever. Tell everyone who doesn’t use Instagram that you moved, and give us a tour of your new house. Yes, I could invite myself over and you could give me a tour in person. Whatever.

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