Milhous's newest thing is to go outside with Edsel, where I watch them nervously from the back door, and TEAR after each other around the back yard. Milhous gets a bottle-brush tail and Edsel smiles like a big huge giant baffoon. I think Milhous was a good addition to this house. Beg to diffur Anyway. … Continue reading Just pants
What day is this? Thursday? Yeah. I think it's Thursday. Is this week taking forever, or is it just me? I get good light in my little millhouse, which houses Milhous. At my old house, I could never really see the sunrise or sunset, not to sound too Fiddler on the Roof about it. But … Continue reading Pat Nixon is my spirit animal
It happened again. I poured water in the damn coffeepot, put the filter in JUST SO, put the lid on JUST FUCKING SO, turned it on, waited to hear it gurgle, showered, came back, and? It didn't brew. THIS COFFEEPOT IS THE DEATH OF ME. I had to pick it up and put it back … Continue reading Hamilton
I was decorating for Christmas and couldn't find gramma's tablecloth. And by "gramma," I mean the nice grandma, not the difficult one I've turned into. And by "tablecloth," I mean not at all a lovely fine Irish lace thing that's been passed down through the generations or something. Gramma never had "fine" anything. In fact, … Continue reading Knotty pining for a tablecloth
Before this holiday, back when I was not bloated like a tick, I suggested we send in photos of our THANKSgiving, as they say here, or ThanksGIVing, as normal folk say it. You did, so let's not ado further... Am I going to have this much detail with each photo, or will I get burnt … Continue reading Your Thanksgiving, captured on… phone.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Thank you, good night! I had dinner with The Other Copy Editor, fmr., and her well-appointed spouse. And their dogs. And their millennial friends, who always seem to be more mature than I was at that age, and I know that's a stretch to imagine. But before that, I have a friend … Continue reading June awaits more photos, describes her Thanksgiving. June bores the crap out of all and sundry.
If you ever want to irk me, go ahead and be a fussy coffeepot. My regularly scheduled one, at my old house, (aw, old house) died right when I moved. So I went to a kitchen store (who knew there was such a thing) and got a Cusinart little teensy coffee pot on sale (aw, … Continue reading The one where June goes to the store the day before Thanksgiving
We have an exciting day of drama and suspense, for my new shampoo and conditioner arrived! I just heard all of America scooting their chairs closer. I like how in my mind you're all at your desktop computers, when probably most of you are on your phone. I'm sure my stats tell me, but stats. … Continue reading I tried Prose haircare. Not poetry haircare, though.
I watch a lot of YouTube videos because any time I don't know how to do something around the house, I just YouTube it. Once I watched a video titled, "How to take down a ceiling fan and replace it with a light," and the whole video was a guy replacing a ceiling fan with … Continue reading Portret van June Gardens
I have many topics, the fresh topics of our day, to discuss with you, and all of them are dull. Read on! Just so I won't forget them, because you know how I am, they are: Work My eyesight My winter jackets Turning into my grandmother, Vol. XIV Did I not TELL you they were … Continue reading For you, June, are a slob
As you know, from your now-oversized Book of June Events, my washer has been broken and I just went on a trip. So selecting clothing for the workplace has been my own challenge. I have an inspirational poster about challenges above my increasingly empty closet. But yesterday, as I listlessly perused my offerings, I found … Continue reading The good, the bad…
Current situation: My tight-fitting Laila Ali dryer bonnet is atop my head. I've got fresh coffee in my favorite mug (for local folk: It's one of those really thick ones from The Green Bean) and I DID have a dog snout in my lap till just now, when I snapped at my computer. Does your … Continue reading From underneath Laila Ali
I honestly don't even know where to start describing my trip to Michigan, so I'll just comb through my photos and tell you everything that way. Does anyone have a comb in her back pocket I could use, a comb that you got at CVS (in 1979) that has your name on it? ...Thanks, Jill. … Continue reading Pee-y’s Big Adventure
I’m in Michigan, blogging from my phone. With Edsel. I mean, he’s not blogging. Now I picture him tapping his dog phone with his dog claws. edz blawg from iBone. We’re having the season’s first real snow today, as it always does on or right near my mother’s birthday, which is today. She is 100 … Continue reading I’m taking a drive with my best friend (name that band)
Edsel is my wingman. We're going on a road trip together tonight. I have never actually understood what "wingman" means. He's going to eat my leftover wings? Because Edsel will surely do that. Anyway, tonight after work, once it's dark and dangerous, The Eds and I are getting in the car and heading to Michigan. … Continue reading Wingdog
A. I'm dyeing my roots. B. My mouse battery is very low. This means (I'm not gonna say the struggle is real. If you hear me saying the struggle is real, I want you to impale me with 10 mouses) THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL even getting on here, and it took ages, and NOW I … Continue reading June-o Vannelli
Before I could go to Peg's funeral on Saturday, I had to take the kitten to the vet. Not only did Milhous need booster shots, but I also needed to ask what to do about the fact that he hates food. My vet is pretty good at solving stuff. "Hang on, let me get something," … Continue reading Peg o’ My Heart
Oh my gawd, this day is a WASH. Is a wash a bad thing? or is it just an even-ing out? What I mean is this day can suck it. First of all, note I'm here 12 hours late. When we last spoke, swearing we'd stay together forever and exchanging class rings (isn't mine nice?), … Continue reading Morning coat at 8 p.m.
Did you ever see that movie? Sweet November, I mean? It stars a very namby-pamby dying Sandy Dennis, which I guess is redundant. I think they remade it later and I never saw the remake, because remakes annoy me, with the exception of A Star is born, which I have seen twice and will see … Continue reading Sweet November