In the kitchen with June · June's stupid life

June awaits more photos, describes her Thanksgiving. June bores the crap out of all and sundry.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Thank you, good night!

I had dinner with The Other Copy Editor, fmr., and her well-appointed spouse. And their dogs. And their millennial friends, who always seem to be more mature than I was at that age, and I know that’s a stretch to imagine.

But before that, I have a friend who was going through some shit and didn’t have Thanksgiving plans. 

“Are you planning to spend the day crying like a little bitch?” I asked, because I’m a sensitive person. Hey, June, you still answering phones at the crisis line?

He said it was more likely he was going to make a TV dinner with turkey in it, which made me cry like a little bitch, so we decided to get together for part of the day. “I’m up for anything,” he said, and the first idea that came out of my head was to have crackers at the cemetery.

“Plus whiskey,” he said, so after a morning of enjoying my not-at-all chaotic home, 

off we went.

#MeToo

As usual, there was plenty to enjoy at the cemetery. And it was a beautiful fall day. Perfect for whiskey and/or crackers.

It’s good to go to the cemetery with someone as awful as you. We passed a huge tombstone with the name Clap. “Well, that’s unfortunate,” said my friend. “Here lies Jebediah Chlamydia. “

Well.

I don’t know why that tickled me so, other than Jackie Kennedy and I share a sense of humor, but that was killing me, so to speak. I could barely contain my crackers.

I think my favorite thing at the cemetery was this headless child with a headless rocking horse.

Okay, you want to know what’s creepy? It took me FOREVER to add those photos. They wouldn’t upload no matter what. Finally, I got this little note from WordPress saying I was out of room and needed to “upgrade” my account in order to ever add another photo to this site ever again. So I just paid

$204

for a business account here for the year. Do you think the headless child is pissed? Do you think my having to cough up that dough went to her…head?

Anyway, sorry. Here. I know it’s a bad time for this…

Tips.

$10.00

Back to being a bad person…

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Poor Oprah

There. Holiday spirit, complete.

Anyway, after the cemetery, we retired to my house to look at pictures of people we don’t know, because believe it or not I’ve found someone else who collects them.

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Traditional Thanksgiving tableau

And then I had to go to my actual dinner.

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The Other Copy Editor, fmr., and her spouse are the ones who own that really great B&B in town.

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Everyone was busy with the preparations when I got to their house, and thank heavens I arrived to tie on an apron and really pitch in.

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Mostly I walked around and took pictures of myself. Welcome, guest!

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The Other Copy Editor, fmr., and her husband are the kind of people who actually have crystal decanters for their liquor, like soap opera people.

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Fuck yeah
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Fuck yeah, part deux.

I’m having the worst time adding captions today, and I sure am glad I just spent $204 on this site.

IMG_0356.jpegI brought lame bread and cheese, and why does anyone invite me anywhere?

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Y U heer?

Everything was delicious, but do you want to know my favorite part?

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TOCE, fmr., made her grandmother’s Jello recipe, which called for green Jello, pears, cream cheese and…was that it? No! Cool Whip! And 

it

was

delicious.

“This tastes like the color green,” I said, and that is how I got my greens at Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile, your photos are coming in. I’d rather forgotten I’d asked, so you can imagine my surprise yesterday when I had 20 messages on my blog email and hadn’t blogged. Again, email me

  1. Your photo from Thanksgiving
  2. Using the subject THANKSGIVING in your email
  3. Tell me your name or your blog name
  4. And where you are geographically, not “the dining room.”

I guess I should give a deadline. Let’s say 6 p.m. Eastern, Sunday, so I have time to write the post after. These take forever to post, so I can’t make exceptions. Seriously, they take like three hours to write. 

But I like getting everyone’s photos. When a new email comes, I’m all, Ooooo! Paula H&B already sent hers. ALL the cool people are doing it.

I’m celebrating Black Friday by getting cat litter. It’s a festive time here at House O’Juan.

Turkily,
Joop

22 thoughts on “June awaits more photos, describes her Thanksgiving. June bores the crap out of all and sundry.

  1. I didn’t take any photos on Thanksgiving because I was too busy doing ALL of the cooking and then ALL of the cleaning while the rest of the family sat on their asses. And worst of all, someone changed the channel from the Harry Potter marathon. I about Avada Kedavra’d someone.

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  2. I love that crystal! I took the pictures and put in all the info and sent the message, and it disappeared into cyberhell. No idea where it went. So F it.

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  3. I love the “One hand don’t clap” epitaph. So funny! I also wish that could have been part of my day…the wandering in the cemetery. It was too cold here to do that, and I had too much cooking to do. I didn’t have time to do any cooking ahead of time, which is what I usually do, so I was in the kitchen pretty much from the time I got up until I sat down at the table at 6:30. It was a fun dinner though, lots to be grateful for.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  4. PS: Love that second photo of Mil getting his head chomped on. He seems to be almost enjoying it. Have you seen the trailer for the new “live action” Lion King movie? Baby Simba reminds me of Mil. I am calling him Mil because I can never remember if it’s Milhaus or Milhous or Milhouse.

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  5. Envious of the cool graveyards back there with the headstones and sayings and statues. As I’m sure you know, southern California doesn’t have much to offer in that department. Thanks for the post today! No leftovers here since I was home working yesterday, but actually what I’m craving now is some fresh bread, cheese and salami. That looks absolutely delicious.

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  6. This will surprise exactly no one. I do not eat Jello. It is sneaky and not to be trusted.

    On Thanksgiving, I started watching West Side Story and GLORIOSKY with the singing and dancing. Get to the point. And neither of those gangs look all that tough, but Anita? She’s scary. (I am only halfway through, no one died yet.)

    This morning we put up our Christmas tree and other seasonal decor.

    We ventured out on African-American Friday, later in the afternoon, because I purchased too many new balls for the Christmas tree. So we came home with more money than when we left, which is contrary to AAF. There was no traffic and no crowds. Weird.

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  7. “Hey, June, you still answering phones at the crisis line?” This cracked me up!!! You have not lost your funny. Your friend’s B&B is beautiful. I would love to stay there.

    We had a very nice day, even though we had to drive to the other side of Atlanta, almost to north GA. Fortunately, the traffic was not bad, which is very unusual for Atlanta. I sent an e-mail, but I think I failed to identify myself and add the location, not in the kitchen. I got an error message, but my e-mail said it was sent, so again I’m suffering with technical problems.

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  8. The dinner china is so pretty! I love those teensy blue flowers.
    Y’all had the perfect set-up there: Thanksgiving dinner immediately followed by miniature salami and cheese sandwiches. Or vice versa.
    Today we ran a few non-black Friday errands, and now we’re going to see a movie with our college child who is home for the holiday. To our great pleasure, she is spending lots of time with us!

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  9. Your bread and cheese platter deserves bonus points. I love the leaf design.
    Double points for the fancy toothpicks.
    What a nice way to spend Thanksgiving, including helping your friend.
    I would’ve been all up for that jello delight.

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  10. I have conquered many things in the kitchen, but I cannot make jello to save my life. I am in awe of those who can.

    Liquor in crystal decanters. Why don’t I live like that?

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  11. Happy Leftovers Day! The kitchen was bustling yesterday as we made our traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but you wouldn’t know it because not a single photo was taken to document the day. So I fail as a FR this year for lack of participation.

    Excuse me as I go stand in the corner with my whiskey and crackers.

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  12. I wish I had a friend that I could go drinking with at the cemetery! Your social life is always so interesting!!!

    My thanksgiving was stupid. I was on call for work so I couldn’t go anywhere! I had to stay within 30 minutes of my job. My sister did stop by with leftovers later in the evening so all was not lost. And after all the waiting around I never got called in to work.

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  13. I remember a delicious rainbow jello dish the moms would make when we had Mexican potlucks in my class. It was cubes of different colored jellos surrounded by a evaporated milk jello. Sounds weird but so pretty and good. Gelatines and aspics were considered so elegant and chic going back to the turn of the last century then they went into kitsch territory mid-century. My favorite jello creation is a peachy panna cotta in a brain mold served with raspberry coulis for Halloween.

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    1. I used to make knox blocks in the nineties with evaporated milk, unflavored jello and I forget what else but they were good.

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  14. I need to Google that green jello recipe. I loves me some green jello with pear halves. MY grandmother made that. I need to try the fancier version. Sounds very delish.

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