June's stupid life

Your Thanksgiving, captured on… phone.

Before this holiday, back when I was not bloated like a tick, I suggested we send in photos of our THANKSgiving, as they say here, or ThanksGIVing, as normal folk say it. You did, so let’s not ado further…

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Jerilyn in Roscoe, Texas, said they had their Thanksgiving early, because there was a family wedding on Thanksgiving weekend. “This is my attempt to take a sweet photo with my youngest nieces and nephew. I could have sent one of the semi-decent ones, but they truly do not reflect the absolute chaos in this family,” she said.

Am I going to have this much detail with each photo, or will I get burnt out and by the end be all,

“EDNA. NEVADA.”

What do you think? Read on…

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Joan in Beavercreek (heeeee), Ohio, said: “Daughter is an oncology nurse and has to work the holiday this year. We celebrated on Sunday so we could all be together.”

They were all in the beaver creek. [snicker]

Hang on while I try to age 45 years.

Also, note that I tried not to respond to your emails to me with these photos, because I knew when I was in this hell of searching my email that my replies would show up and I would hate self. So please don’t think I was being rooood.

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Dottie sent this one, but did not say where she was taking it. I think she, and some other people, wrote back later with corrections, but unless I want some sort of Jerry Lewis on amphetamines marathon session at my computer, I could not piece those follow-up emails together.

Basically, June, do we just have to hear you complain through this whole post? Yes, yes, you do.

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Amara in Mapleton, Utah, is one of those people who sets a good table. My table always looks like a drunk person with stumps for hands set it while colorblind. Oh my god, did she PERSONALIZE the LEAVES? I am the worst. That is so cute. My centerpiece is cat fur.
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Becky in Dallas wants us to know she’s on the left. Sure, okay, we all love Bernie Sanders, but where are you in this picture? Will my hilarity never cease?
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Here’s M in Oklahoma, sittin’ with all her friends. And apparently, no, my hilarity WILL never cease.

 

…And that was the day June learned that if she did a mosaic, she can’t caption it. Ding DANG it.

Anyway, these are from Deborah, and she did not tell me but I happen to know that’s her son and her dog, and they are in California and her husband’s name is Peter and I seem way too up in Deborah’s life. Also, no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of the extra space below this paragraph. …Oh, I think it’s okay now. I need a drink.

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Sapphire Anastasia, Chippewa Lake, Ohio. The dog is the only one noticing us. Story of my life.
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You guys. For some reason, every time I try to caption this, I get an error. I know Worker Bee is in South Carolina, and she told me the little girl is my people (see the shoes), and what’s funny is I zeroed right in on her the moment I opened this email. But OH MY GOD I can’t caption this photo, and let’s see if it lets me this time.

Okay, it did. Yeesh!

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This is my friend-in-real-life, Sleeping Beauty, in Great Falls, Virginia, and I do think this is the first photo I’ve ever put of her where I didn’t make her act like she was sleeping. I made her act like she was sleeping at her baby shower, at a marathon, at the grocery store, behind the wheel…

 

Faithful Reader Paula H&B sent me these, claiming they are the World’s Most Boring Pictures of Turkey and Gravy. Careful readers will note Paula sent beige pictures.

Ned just called me, and I was all, “OH MY GOD WHAT I’M DOING THANKSGIVING PHOTOS” and he knew just what I meant and slunk away in fear. Slinked?

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Poor Arlene in California sent this about 20 times. This is her grandson. I spent my childhood making Mr. Potato Head have obscene parts. I wonder if there’s an app for that?
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Sherry in McMinnville, Oregon, said her granddaughter spent the night and watched the parade. Is that a famous duck I should know but don’t because childless, like how you all know who the Despicable Me people are?
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PJ in god knows where said she had a traditional vegan Thanksgiving. Killed me. So to speak.
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Pendy in South Georgia (she was adamant about the “south” part) noted most of her food was brown. Hell, yes. Brown food.

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Linda in Jamestown, NC, got a surprise visit from her son. Then he brought all these other people.

The animals have all migrated in here because it’s obvious Ima be in here for the duration, and I just noted Lily has squeezed her rather sizeable hips into the kitten bed.

No, I won’t upload a photo. Would you enjoy being bludgeoned?

Okay, FINE.

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Lily: O, like Milhowse abdomin much better.
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Terri in Austin and her CUTE DOGGIE. Oh my god, lookit the doggie!!!!!
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LisaPie in Texas is “using my grandma’s Franciscan Desert Rose dishes and wishing she were still here with us.”
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J in SC sent this and I giggled.
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Lurkie Lou in Palm Springs. NICE.
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STEVE’S WIFE, BETH! And, you know, Steve! Aw. Long-time readers are “aw”-ing with me. They’re in Cincinnati.
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Longtime reader Tee, in Georgia, also sent me a photo about 49 times. She said the dog loved her because she let the dog eat her scraps. Well, YEAH. Of course you did. It’s what one does.

Also, when I finish each photo, I select “Delete” in my email, but the choice right under that is “Block.” If I accidentally block anyone, let me know. Of course, how can you if you’re blocked. Oh, dear.

I need an intern.

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I love love love this photo from Amish Annie in Iowa.
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Linda in Colorado is in Arvada, Colorado, this day, and there are the results from the coloring contest. Someone colored that table really well. BABABABABA. Crap. BAHAHAHAHAHA. Good lord I’m tired.
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I love this photo of the sender’s kids. The emailer didn’t give a name or locale, but the email was “Steven and Angie,” so this was sent by either Steven or Angie, Ima guess. Anyway, this kills me.

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Anonymous in Texas says, “My husband wanted to smoke up some chickens and a brisket for Thanksgiving, because Texas. He went off to the woods with a chainsaw to cut up some pecan wood for the smoker and promptly cut his knee with the chainsaw.
My father-in-law was so worried my husband would lose a leg that he had a heart attack in the waiting room while my husband was getting stitched up. Can’t make this stuff up. Everyone is back home and intact so far today.
Not to be outdone, my brother-in-law decided to fry a turkey for the first time ever – and set off some fireworks and smoke bombs while waiting for the turkey to cook. What could possibly go wrong? I am standing by in the kitchen with a fire extinguisher.”

Holy cats, we’ll need to hear the end of that story.

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“I’m Tayna and I’m in California.  My daughter is in Maryland. First holiday apart. This is me looking at her turkey.”

God, I’m hungry. I wonder when the last time was I got up and took nourishment?

I’d also like to thank my computer for showing me this last email, as I just noticed the subject line was “Tahanksgiving.” Look how smart my computer is!

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Mel in Iowa said they’re doing the “post-surgery shuffle.” Aw.
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Someone named Resortlighting2, whose parents must have hated her, sent this delicious-looking appetizer in Southampton, New York. Is that a cat knife? With a mouse? Oh my god, Resortlighting, if I can call you that, or Resortlighting2, if we need to stay formal, that is so cute.

Faithful Reader Deborah, who already sent a picture of her kid and dog above, also sent me a photo of the dog nativity that she got because I had it. I don’t think she wanted me to include it, but that’s what came up in my next email and I felt bad not at least mentioning it.

Also, I am an influencer. Right?

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Sandra in Texas photobombed all the happy couple photos she could on Thanksgiving. For she is my people.

I’m tryina think of the last time I felt my ass. So numb.

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Anita in Jacksonville noted her husband cut her out of the photo, but she’s the “second plate in.” I don’t even KNOW this many people, much less have holidays with them.
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Krakkityjones in Dallas sent this photo and I may or may not have petted my screen like an asshole. HELLO, SWEET KITTY.
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“My granddaughter’s face says it all. This photo will come back to haunt her for years to come… the dark Thanksgiving. (I’m in the peach sweater),” says Deb Finch of Groton, MA. I read this then looked at her granddaughter and laughed for an hour. Back when I could still laugh and think thoughts.

I thought I was done, but I clicked and there’s another page. Why, god. I try to be a good per–okay, I get why, god.

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“My better half doling out the turkey. Dogs are the best guests. Wisconsin for the holidays. Your fan, Snowbird.” I have a fan! Also, may I kiss those dogs? May I?
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“I did nothing on Thanksgiving but eat some store-bought pumpkin pie and watch too much Netflix. 
 I don’t want to be left out of the photo extravaganza, so here is a picture of my cats, who also did nothing on Thanksgiving, other than eating their normal food, which coincidentally is turkey.” Another Unruly-Haired Person, in Boulder, Colorado, and not in the kitchen.

I love everything about that caption.

Dang it. Karen in Virginia Beach sent a video, but I can’t open it.

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“If you want to know what this was supposed to be, it was SUPPOSED to be grandma’s cinnamon applesauce jello salad. It has a cream cheese layer in the middle. This is what my aunt made. And brought. The lettuce is a nice touch, don’t you think?”–Maren
in Minneapolis

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my god.

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Monica in Playa del Carmen, Mexico, said this was the best Thanksgiving ever. YEAH, it was.
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The email said it was from Richard Lewis, like the comedian, but I knew it wasn’t. This is a childhood friend of mine, and her family, and I recognize like 70%, according to my maths, of everyone in this photo. I’m not going to say who it is, to see if either of my parents can guess.

Oh. I’d guess that last one was from Saginaw, Michigan. Or thereabouts.

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L in California recovered from the flu for Thanksgiving, and here are her cats wondering if she got her flu shot.

As I write this, it’s Sunday afternoon. It’s possible someone will send me a late photo, but I MIGHT BE DONE and I might could GET UP from this desk and LIVE again. I’m George Bailey, over here. Help me, God. I wanna live again.

Anyway, I’ll set this post on to brew, and meanwhile, thank you for participating in Send June Your Thanksgiving. When I first started this, people had to get home to load their photos onto their computers, but now we just boop boop boop! send them. Oh, technology.

Talk to you tomorrow, when I force you to look at my Christmas decorations. Oh, technology.

XO,
Jan. …Hey, where was Jan in these photos?

P.S. Just when I thought I was done, Friend-in-Real-Life LaUral sent hers.

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LaUral, in Lenoir (LeNoir), NC, making trail mix and sporting the season’s latest no-makeup look.

47 thoughts on “Your Thanksgiving, captured on… phone.

  1. Thank you, June, for this wonderful record of thankfulness. I love all of the photos, oh! I just can’t name one, so I won’t name any. But I loved them!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  2. I love all the Thanksgiving pictures! I know it is so much work, so thank you for letting us share our people, pets, food with everyone!
    The jello dish looks some sort of sweet potato concoction rather than apple. Was anyone brave enough to taste it?
    I adored the photo of the triplet children and also the trio of dogs. Those dogs were sitting so nicely waiting for their turkey. Such manners have never been seen with my pets!
    Happy THANKSgiving!

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  3. Thank you, June! There was something lovely and/or hilarious in every photo!!!
    The crying triplets in their car seats killed me. I know EXACTLY how they feel. I also love that LisaPie has clearly already had a glass of wine and sneakily set her glass at her place hoping no one would notice the purple circle in the bottom. Now that’s my kind of hostessing. You did not even need to tell us that Pendy was in Georgia. I took one look at those deviled eggs next to the line of brown casseroles and right then I knew, Pendy’s a southern girl.
    Oh my gosh I could talk about each and every photo, but ain’t nobody got time for that!
    Lovely, wonderful post, June!

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    1. Texas Kari, I also could talk about every photo as each time I go back and look at them I want to say something else. Even before I read the caption, one look at the large family gathering and right then I knew it was Anita’s family. How wonderful to all be together to celebrate Thanksgiving. And I had to show SadieDog the three well-mannered dogs waiting for their turkey to show her how it’s supposed to be done. The lovely tablescapes inspired me to step up my game next year. Every photo told a story. Thanks again to June and everyone. Lovely a**, Joob.

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  4. Thanks for this post, June, and to all who send photos…especially the ones with cats and dogs. I agree — Amara’s table was lovely, and the vegan dinner was served on beautiful china. What is the pattern, PJ? I love the coloring pictures of turkeys in Linda in Colorado’s photo. And Anita in Jacksonville, you’re the only person I know who has a table (or two put together) and enough chairs for 20 people! I have the room, a dining table for 6 (or 8 if they’re friendly), a kitchen table for 4, and two card tables, but only ten chairs. “Come for dinner. No need to bring anything…except a chair.”

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  5. Thank you for doing this. I always enjoy seeing how others spend their holiday. After viewing these I’ve decided next year I really need a beach vacation. Maybe then I wouldn’t put on 5 lbs in 4 days. I posted my video on Instagram. Essentially Jake did a great impression of how we all feel when being hugged by random relatives at Thanksgiving.

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  6. I am sad to tell you that with all those pretty pics and cute captions, what stood out was that you are back to talking to Ned. It’s ok; you can shoot me. I’ve already poked my eyeball out.

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  7. Your numb a** resulted in so much pleasure for your tens of readers. If you were Catholic I would suggest you get purgatory time off for this. I think one day God will not be amused about my doing that. I like to think he has a sense of humor too.

    The little girl who is your people, the granddaughter who is over it, the pets, the tables, the food ( I am craving deviled eggs now). So much fun and your sparkling witt too. The saga of Milhowse and Lilly thrown in! I am so glad you are back to blogging! You were very missed!

    Nice a**, Joob.

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  8. Sandra the photobomber was the best. And I want to know where Anita in Jacksonville got that honkin big table. The pictures of the cuddling kitties and the dogs patiently waiting their turns for turkey made my day. Oh! The Jell-O salad! With lettuce! Haha

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  9. This was so fun, I love picture day!!!! Vegan Thanksgiving made me snicker, pets, people, kids…Worker Bee’s little girl who is your people, so cute! I didn’t want this post to end but then again I didn’t want your a** (TM Sadie) to completely fall off cause how you ever gonna get a man with no a**? How a man ever gonna get a** from you if you have none to give? A numb a** comes back but an a** that just done fell off, well, you ended the post just in time. Can we do picture day every week here? KIDDING! Thank you for taking time to do this though, it was fun and we need more fun in life anymore it seems.

    Lovely post, Joob.

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  10. Thank you for all the hard work to put this post together! Sorry about the 49 e-mails, technology is not my strength. I was trying to figure out how to get the photo off my phone and to my e-mail on my laptop so I could e-mail that one photo to you. By the way, how do we know if you have blocked us? Will the e-mail bounce back?

    I LOVE all the photos! Some made me laugh, some were very impressive with the beautiful tables, some scary. I was all awww with Steve’s Wife Beth, that little son is now a good looking young man. Paula’s beige meal! PJ’s vegan meal! Hilarious. AA’s buggy photo. All these photos were wonderful. I hope the chain saw husband is better and the heart attack father-in-law gets better soon.

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  11. How fun to see everyone’s family and pets and holiday food. We had snow and bitter cold temperatures for Thanksgiving (upstate NY), which is always a joy, right? The food and family time was fun and fleeting and boy is my fridge full of food. Holy cats.

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  12. I cannot figure out who the people are who are your old hometown friends. Not Christy, not Lisa for sure, is it a boy you used to hang around with? Please reveal the answer.

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  13. Thanks for doing this, Joon.
    I love seeing how everyone celebrates the holiday or just chills and quietly enjoys the day.
    Love the centrepieces. Wicker corn!

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  14. This was fun! Thank you to everyone who participated and to June for numbing her a** to compile them all. I am still laughing at the supposed jello salad with lettuce garnish from Maren in Minneapolis.

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  15. I love all these pictures, thank you, June, for showing us. I tried to send in some, but they got lost. Milhous has a belly!

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  16. Yay! I made it! Annnnnnnnnd I didn’t realize on my little phone screen how very much I look like my mother when she’s pursing her lips. Dang.

    Also, I love Another Unruly-Haired Person’s cats. LOVE.

    Thanks, Jooooooooooon!

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  17. I love these so much! I too always miss the sending as it’s hard to use your phone when you are elbow deep in dishwater for three days. But I do so love seeing everyone else’s photos. One of my weird obsessions (one of many) is wondering how people live in their houses. When we are driving at night I love passing by homes where the lights are on and imagining what they look like on the inside. This is kind of a bit of that. So thank you for your hard work June!

    I do admire the people who set a lovely table – I always am so focused on the food that I forget to do more than a tablecloth and dishes. Good job all of you tablescapers!

    And also too I did go AWWWWW! for Steve and Steve’s wife Beth and their little tike who’s name escapes me and is also no longer little. And I thought Sleeping just had that baby – who’s the teenager?

    Anyone else shoveling out from the blizzard that blew through yesterday?

    Thanks again for the lovely lovely post June! Imma go back and study each and every picture and laugh again at all your funny!

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    1. Lisa, NTL, when Sleeping Beauty had that baby, I was walking to a brunch date with Dick Whitman, if that gives you any indication of how long ago that was.

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      1. Time is fleeting. My sister just sent me a picture and said “remember when we did this?” and I said “of course! That was two years ago… or maybe three.” IT WAS SEVEN YEARS.

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  18. I always miss sending in my picture due to many obligations and busy-ness but I sure to appreciate everyone who does, and also you, June, for taking the time to compile them.

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  19. THANK YOU so much for all your hard work! This is JP AKA Resortlighting2 in Southampton, NY. I sent the Cranberry Onion Jam App. My Parents named me Judy which has annoyed me all my life! My older sister is Karen so there’s that! My big, fat, Grey cat Clyde, avoided me all day, so no picture of him.

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