...friend/Ned · Friends · Times I Amused My Own Self

Hamilton

It happened again.

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I poured water in the damn coffeepot, put the filter in JUST SO, put the lid on JUST FUCKING SO, turned it on, waited to hear it gurgle, showered, came back, and?

It didn’t brew.

THIS COFFEEPOT IS THE DEATH OF ME.

I had to pick it up and put it back down. Sometimes it’s the only way to get it to begin, you know, making coffee. You know how people say, “You had one job”?

Also, I took this cute photo of the Iris.

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So if anyone has suggestions for a NONFUSSY coffeemaker, please advise in the comments.

Meanwhile, I haven’t shown you the rest of my Christmas decorations.

Christmas

Hang on…

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edz chortle

IMG_0485.jpegIMG_0484.jpegIMG_0483.jpegIMG_0479.jpegIMG_0437.jpegIMG_0436.jpegI guess you get my drift.

IMG_0439.jpegIt’s Christmassy up in here.

When I wasn’t decorating this weekend, I took a drive to the country with Ned.

I know.

“This was supposed to be No-Ned November,” I told him. Nevertheless, our friends Bitchy Resting Face Alex and her husband opened a general store in the country, and I’ve been dying to see it.

Ned and BRFAlex’s husband always really liked each other. They both have an element of the ridiculous that they see in each other.

IMG_0410.jpegAs opposed to me. I have no element of ridiculous.

IMG_0453.jpegWe didn’t tell them we were coming, didn’t know they’d be there. BRF Alex wasn’t, but her husband was.

Oh my god, I loved their store!

IMG_0454.jpegIMG_0459.jpegI got a t-shirt I been sleeping in ever since, some locally made pumpkin bread, and some sugar sticks. (See the photo above. It’s the box of “Virginia Beauty.” I have a close-up picture of it, but WordPress is acting squirrely.)

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Oh! Did that work? Can you see it? I’ve spent way too much time on sugar sticks, which is what you’d say if you saw me naked.

Anyway, after that, Ned and I drove around in the country a bit, and we came around a bend and Ned said, “Did you just see that mountain with a stone face?!”

“No, I saw it with my regular face,” I said, and then proceeded to laugh at own self for an hour and 45 minutes.

It was Hanging Rock. In case anyone’s gonna ask me and get all geographical on my ass.

Also, I saw an owl on a phone line.

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owl on fone line. new fone, hoooooo dis.

Anyway, I’m glad I got to see the store, and why do all my young friends own things? Meanwhile, here I am, working for the man. Technically, I work for the woman. I work for the largest woman-owned something-or-other in the South or east of the something or something like that.

I should own my own store. A Specific Geographical and Facts Store.

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no won think you funnee

Anyway, I guess that’s all I’ve got to report. This week is my mammogram, so it’s time for my annual mammogram terror. I should get EMDR for mammograms. Do you know what EMDR is? Allegedly it works, although I’ve tried it before and I’m still an anxious pile of dung. Google fucking it.

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Presidentially,
Joon

66 thoughts on “Hamilton

  1. I don’t drink coffee, so I have no recommendations.

    Your house looks great, and your pets are so cute! How cool to see an owl on the telephone wire! And you even got a photo!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  2. Very Christmassy house! I had a Keurig; which I loved for about a year. The Husband bought a Mr. Coffee single serve to replace it – so far so good. Bonus! It also uses K-Cups – which was good since I had just purchased a gigantic new box of them before the Keurig died.

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  3. Oooohhh! I came back to say that I DO know what EMDR is. I have in fact subjected myself, The World’s Most Skeptical Skeptic to EMDR and it WORKED! And it wasn’t because I was a believer, I’ll tell you that much. It was honestly one of the odder things I’ve done in my life, but it worked, so there you go.

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  4. Get a Bunn. They work wonderfully I usually get a good 10 to 12 years put of mine. They have their own hot water heater that keeps the water hot so you have coffee very quickly. Or get a Keurig, I do have and use both. Coffee is kind of an addiction of mine.

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  5. “Hoooo dis?” killed me.

    We’re always getting new coffeemakers, so all you people who are all, “Oh, we’ve had the same coffeemaker for umpteen-five years” can just go off somewhere by yourselves, where you can pat each other on the back about your long-lived appliances. Ours always die. ALL OF THEM.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “No, I saw it with my regular face,”
    “Oh, is that where you left your moral compass?”
    You killed me twice. I died happy both times.

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  7. I really don’t have a suggestion for a coffee pot. We have a Keurig, which is not really special. I don’t drink a lot of coffee, and have no problem with instant and decaf, so I’m not the one to ask.

    I loved all the Christmas decorations. Very lovely. Maybe I’ll get inspired before Christmas. Iris is not happy because you have obstructed her view out the window, as if she can see. Loved all the photos. Are the old ones people you know, or your collection of unknowns?
    Tee

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  8. Another lovely post. I love your festive decorations and was wowed by your outdoor lights. Did you put up outdoor lights at your house, fmr? The a** photo made me laugh. I’m in the process of decorating for Christmas which is a big job since every decoration and Christmas tree ornament has a memory associated with it.

    Love your friends’ general store and wish them great success.

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  9. Love your decorations – and Iris! Your friends’ store is super adorable, too. I love that area of the country.

    For coffee, I am such a huge fan of the french press. Since you already have that super cute teapot on the stove for boiling water, all you need to make really fantastic coffee is the french press itself and your favorite ground coffee. I got my french press at Target for around $15 and I’ve had it for seven years now! I put 5 tablespoons of coffee in the bottom, boil some water, pour it into the french press and give it a good stir, and then four minutes later I press it down and have a fresh pot of crazy strong coffee. It ruined me for drip coffee!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, your lovely decorations make me so homesick for my parents’, aunt’s, and grandma’s homes at Christmas. You hit the nostalgia theme perfectly. So beautiful. As for the unfunctioning coffee maker….make a cup of lovely hot tea using that sweet teapot that is sitting right there waving its spout!

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  11. I have a 30-year old Braun coffee pot. It only makes coffee, nothing else. Been through three of those gold filters, accidently broke the original glass carafe, and replaced it. Makes great coffee, whatever I throw in, from beans, ground whatever. Also, it’s white, so fits in nicely with my other white appliances, and the farmhouse sink.

    My mother, bless her, drank Sanka at night… Ewwww…

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    1. True story, my very first job in high school was at a hamburger joint in our local mall. I knew nothing about coffee (my parents drank tea when I was growing up) and had no idea that there was decaf coffee. So whenever someone ordered a Sanka with their food, I just poured them a cup of regular joe, not knowing there was a difference. I wonder how many people couldn’t understand why they felt all twitchy and jangly after eating their lunch or dinner from JR Burgers.

      Liked by 3 people

  12. Love your decorations. The sparkly candles and crystal holders are so pretty.
    I also love the vintage photos. Those cheeky capris with the sedate top and that satin dress.
    Also the seamed stockings.
    We really do need to see Miss Pam’s MIL fanny shots and Leanne’s photo.
    I have a Hamilton Beach single serve coffeemaker that makes a large travel mug sized cup. It has an extra coffee basket so no need to empty one before making another cup. It brews quickly and the coffee’s hot, unlike other coffeemakers I’ve had over the years.
    I just packed up my Halloween decorations yesterday. Next weekend it’ll be the Christmas decorating frenzy.

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    1. Yes, I too want to see those framed photos. But she’d have to gather up all the family members to do so, right? But we can see her husband’s framed photo, anyway.

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    1. That same day, we also passed a Goodwill truck, and Ned said, “That’s where I took a lot of my stuff to get rid of before we moved in together” and I said, “Oh, is that where you left your moral compass?”

      Then I had a bust commissioned of own self.

      Liked by 7 people

      1. See? If you really stayed away from Ned, you would lose these precious opportunities to zing him! That is exactly why I go out for dinner at least twice a week with my ex-husband. He pays, I lob verbal arrows.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. It should be a whole statue, with that exchange carved on the base. Ned, with the accidentally perfect lob; June, with the perfect smash! You made my day; no, my week.

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  13. I am pedestrian and drink Keurig most days. But I also have the option of pour over, aeropress, or french press. And I frequently cold brew. Too many choices.

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  14. Gambie not Gamble. Stupid autocorrect. Gambie is MIL’s grandmother name. Or as we sometimes called her “The Great Gambia.”

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  15. Your Christmas decor looks lovely. I have no suggestions for a coffeepot because I drink Taster’s Choice. I like it. Also too, I think Mil is still young enough that he could be taught to show respect for his mother. Sheesh!

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  16. My mother-in-law always always always passed out the Christmas presents. We have copious pictures of her fanny through the years. The Christmas after she died I dug out 4 separate pictures of said fanny and framed them in gaudy Christmasy frames(also very MIL.) I gave them to husband, his two brothers and my FIL. Gamble gets unpacked every year and I giggle a little at her fanny. But mostly at her joy in Christmas.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. I have an extra-cheap, reconditioned Mr. Coffee that I bought at a local “Ollie’s Bargain Outlet”, figuring if the kids break it, no great loss. That thing has been working like a champ for over 3 yeats with multiple uses daily….by 2 teenagers. It’s indestructible!!

    I had a Grandma like yours. She made each one of us Grandkids feel as if we were the center of her universe. The other Grandma loved us very much, but was much more formal. You couldn’t run into her living room, do a somersault onto the couch, and end up upside down with your feet on the wall like you could with the first grandmother.

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  18. I have different coffee methodologies depending on mood. I use Paula H and B’s process most mornings with my Nespresso and Aerocinno. Other choices are pour-over, French press, and on cold weekend mornings, I pull out my percolator because the sound and aroma make me happy.
    Your decorations are just lovely in your pretty new home.

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  19. I’m happy I got the Thanksgiving decorations off the porch. That’s as far as I’ve gotten decorating. I love all the retro decor you have. That’s what I want — to look like I am living in the movie White Christmas all season. But… I’d have to buy new stuff so probably not gonna happen. I will just enjoy yours.

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  20. Love your decorations! Very classy. For Christmas I am giving myself a pour over coffee pot, just to try something new. The Keurig is boring. Why can’t Alex open a store closer to Greensboro?

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  21. I get the “Book of June” grandmothers confused so just googled “grandmother book of june” and a really lovely post about the “nice” grandmother came up. I probably read that post when it was published, but forgot about it. The post got me straight on which grandmother is which.

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  22. Coffee. The bane of my existence. One cannot just have a cup of coffee chez H&B. Nay, nay, it is an EVENT. Beans must be selected, measured, ground, remeasured. Water brought to a specific temperature. Fancypants sugars. Foamed cream. Heated mug. You get my drift. By the time the coffee is ready, I’ve lost interest. Or died. My poor Katie Keurig is in the basement now and sometimes a girl just wants a pod, you know? Sigh. All that aside, some of the most delicious coffee I’ve ever had was brewed in a Farberware percolator. Lu adore. H&B recommend.

    I want to go to that store and will click on the link and shop from afar.

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    1. My grandmother had a Percolator! I always wanted to watch the coffee perk up in the clear knob on the top, but my grandmother would tell me to move because I was in the way.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Also looking for the perfect coffee maker. I’ve had cheap and expensive and I really don’t want to go back to Mr. Coffee based on the last crappy one I had. I hate replacing them every year!

    Anyway, love the Christmas decor! We have set nothing out and probably won’t for another two weeks.

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  24. Your house looks festive I particularly like the ornaments under the glass dome of the cake plate.

    Inquiring minds want to know why the candy, which is naturally hard when fresh then softens with age, is even more delectable, but if you’re a woman, then not so much.

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  25. I had more expensive coffee makers that lasted about six months, then I had to deal with snippy customer service britches. The last one told me if I had followed instructions on page 23, paragraph 4 and run vinegar thru every month, I wouldn’t have this problem. I honestly didn’t know I could throw an appliance that far! I went to Walmart, bought cheapest WM brand coffee pot they had $17. Makes great coffee and is super fast! Now you probably wish you hadn’t asked for recommendations.

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  26. We have a Mr. Coffee too. Quite reliable. I worked in a factory that made heating elements for small appliances many moons ago. Hated the job, and the owners moved to try and lose the union. Bleep them.

    I know what MDR is (did I lose a letter?) I was supposed to get it and did not, it was newish then and I prefer to let others be the guinea pig. Sounds like I didn’t miss much so thanks for the info.

    Cute decorations, little pink tree, pink lights outside. I love the apron and big bulb faux lights on the door. Festive retro!

    Lovely ass, Joob.

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  27. The cheapest Mr. Coffee you can find. If it ever starts acting up throw it away and get another one. Have the same apron that is hanging on your door. It was my great grandmothers and there is a picture of her in 1957 at Christmas holding a bottle of bourbon. I recreated that picture last year and thoroughly delighted myself. I love all of your decorations and Milhous is filling out quite nicely.

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  28. We have had a Mr. Coffee for years. Simple, works every time. We first bought one because Joe DiMaggio advertised them. I liked his link to Marilyn Monroe and was surprised to see him in a public role decades after he was a ball player, so it was a nostalgic choice. We have replaced it over the years, but it’s the same style. I do think you had trouble with it on your visit. Yes, you forgot the basket and just put the paper thing in. No further comment.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. I use a French press which is a lot of clean up but low tech. Based on your Google results I believe you should get a Hamilton Beach coffeemaker. I love your Christmas decorations, they really feel right in your new house.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. I love my Cuisinart coffee maker. I brew the pot on weekends and the single cup on weekdays (then at work I drink more coffee, but it’s brewed there). Anyway, I’ve had it for several years and I still love it. My brother has the same one…and loves it as well. My $.02.

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